Four-eyed Geekazoid

The Set-Up part 2

2012-01-17T22:48:00.002+08:00

Its already Sunday.

Late that morning, I woke up, worried.

Worried I had overslept.

The night before, I hadn't had proper sleep.

Well, actually the morning before.

I slept after Subuh.

Guests that came for the reunion / tahlil arwah only left minutes before Subuh.

I stayed up (for the most part), to keep my father company.

The girl was nearby, but not yet at my house.

She was lured to my neighbourhood under the pretense that her parents wanted to clean up their piece of land here.

Which is the empty piece of land next to my house.

(I know right, tak susah nak pikir balik kampung siapa.)

I woke up, finding that my mother had already begun sneaking a peek at her potential daughter-in-law, from my grandmother's room.

I didn't see why I should miss out on all the fun.

With the sleep still in my eyes, I couldn't really make out what she looked like.

Or if it was actually her I was looking at.

I may have accidentally checked-out her mother.

Before long, they came to our house.

This was when I started getting nervous. Again.

The fact that I still had not bathed might have had something to do with it.

My mother, upon seeing how 'unpresentable' her son was, told me to quickly wash up a bit.

No one looks good after only 4 hours of morning sleep.

I was nowhere near my regular good-looks.

Double the nervousness.

Me and my brother started practicing our stress-relieving exercise.

Jump up and down for no reason.

It did little to help.

"I wish you hadn't told me about this", I told my mother.

"Dah2, siap2, pergi tunjuk muka sikit, tangkap gambar benda yang ayah suruh tangkap semalam tu", replied my mother.

Deep breaths.

Fuh. Fuh. Fuh.

"Abang, salam dengan kawan mak dekat ofis, Pakcik Aragorn", said my mother.

It was then I saw her.

And she saw me.

It was only a split-second that I looked her way, nervous as I was, but it was enough.

She was wearing a very labuh pink tudung.

Very fair skin. Almost glowing even.

Her face was bujur sireh, as the Malays would say it.

The eyes were not the regular dark brown, what colour, I could not say.

Radiating a sense of warmth, she did not seem at all nervous.

I liked what I saw. XP

Passing in front of her, I went to shake hands with her father.

I refrained myself from kissing his hands, to avoid being seen as overeager.

I quickly retreated to the kitchen, and eavesdropped on their conversations.

It was while eavesdropping that I discovered a horrible truth.

*Imaginary forehead smack

I was checking out her older sister.

Apparently sitting on that sofa, in between the older sister and the mother, (whom I saw both), was the actual intended (whom was under an invisibility cloak).

Epic fail.

Oh well, at least no one knew.

(Note to self : delete blog tomorrow.)

So they went on and chatted and chatted, while I chatted with my brother in the kitchen about unrelated stuff.

When they were about to leave, my father called me to do something, but it was mainly to force me to show my face again.

Eyes fixed on the proper location this time (and hopefully on the correct person), I saw her.

She was not looking at me.

She was wearing a black tudung, labuh, similar size to her sister's.

She seemed distant. Perhaps shy, or afraid, or unhappy.

I didn't really get a good vibe.

It was after they had left that I told my parents she seemed disinterested to me.

I also remarked that her sister seemed happy to see me.

My father then explained that the elder sister had already came to the house a few times with the parents.

So if she seemed more relaxed, it was probably due to familiarity.

And that's about it actually.

My father did not force me into anything, he said it was still up to me.

I was told that if I wanted to get to know her better, I could only do it through Facebook.

She comes from a very religiously strict family.

Despite contradicting with my own ways, I still have to respect their way of doing things.

I added her on Facebook a few hours ago. So far no response.

From what I can decipher, my father doesn't necessarily want me to marry this particular girl, however, it would not be an exaggeration to say that even my father wants to see me get married soon.

I think this is his way of saying "Get off your bum and find me a daughter-in-law".

Well....

Challenge. Accepted.

Peace.

The Set-Up part 1

2012-01-15T22:27:00.002+08:00

It was an ordinary weekend. With an unexpected twist.

I went back to my hometown on Saturday.

There was a small gathering of my father's close friends, most of which know me as well.

They all came to Ipoh for the tahlil arwah of their religious teacher, that passed away a few weeks ago.

I didn't personally knew him, but I've heard only good things.

Apart from that, I wanted to get my new spectacles. Yeay.

(but unfortunately, the optometrist overpowered the spectacles, so it had to be redone.)

My brother was home as well, him on his 1st semester break.

Upon arriving from the barely 2 hours trip from KL, I had a bit of a chat with the family.

Discussing stuffs like my cousin's wedding plan, my father's health and my upcoming trip to Indonesia.

Little did I know that another 'plan' was concocted, and from the unlikeliest of plotters.

I was casually telling my parents, that I was going back to KL early tomorrow (Sunday) morning, when my father blurted out.

"Abang tak boleh balik esok pagi!."

Huh?

"Kenapa?"

There was no immediate answer from my father, but a nervous laughter came from my mother.

"Ayah la ni,.. pandai-pandai."

Oh boy. I can sense where this is going.

"Hmm?", I said, trying to pry out the truth.

"Kawan ayah Aragorn (bukan nama sebenar) datang esok pagi..."

And then it came out.

"... datang bawak anak dia".

.

Oh dear sweet mother of heavens, I'm being set up by my father.

.

He goes on to explain that it was the mother of the girl's incessant complains about none of her children being married, she being worried etc2.

So he asks for my father's help in looking for a nice boy for her daughter, and my father, not knowing that many 20+ year old boys, suggested...

Me.

She's a final year medic student, studying in Australia.

Haha.

Haha.

(nervous laughter)

I said nothing.

But my brain was processing information at maximum capacity.

My body was present, but my mind was in the future. (back to the future moment)

The fact that it was my father, not my mother that arranged this, meant something.

The tone in which my father explained the situation told made it sound as if he had no hand in this, that he was merely trying to soothe his friend's worries.

Somehow I know better.

I was not at all against the idea.

The way I see it, if my parents already approve of it, then the choice would be up to me.

As compared to if the girl was my choice, I still had to get the approval of my parents.

I had the upper hand here.

Questions then popped into my head.

What is this girl like?

Would this actually lead to something?

How early do my parents want me to get married?

How would I actually interact with this girl?

Is this IT?

To be continued.

Arrogance.

2012-01-07T22:06:00.002+08:00

Every time I try to write about something, half way, I feel like its something stupid to write about and stop.

But whenever I do really write something, it often does come out sounding stupid.

Its silly, how I find the need to sound smart.

I feel bad if I feel stupid or look stupid.

Is that something normal?

Why do I have the need to be smart or clever?

When in fact, the wisest of people know that "all I know is that I know nothing" (Socrates).

Is it wrong to be stupid? Perhaps we dislike the feeling of being looked down upon.

Some people find it very hard to be humble, myself included.

I constantly remind myself that I have nothing to be arrogant about, save my foolishness.

So far its working.

A senior engineer at my workplace says that his New Year's ambition is to be the same, to maintain being friendly and not be arrogant.

He is a very nice guy, despite his vast experience he is very friendly, even with graduate engineers like me.

Some people on the other hand, have arrogance written all over their faces.

Do these people not know that people can sense their condescending tone / look ?

I once had a chat with a chap about 5 years older than me, and he was asking me about my study background, my work.

So I told him I was working for an oil and gas consultancy company.

I detected the hint of condescension when he says he's never heard of the company. But I ignored.

I then tell him what sort of work I do.

He actually has the balls to ask me whether this is actually related to what I studied.

"Ada related ke? Because saya dulu pun belajar chemical engineering jugak."

Granted, the current type of work I'm doing isn't pure Chemical Engineering stuff, but to actually ask whether my work has any relation to Chemical Engineering is like asking a surgeon if his job is at all related to medicine.

Then he goes on to mention new technologies in the field of safety (fyi, my field) like the non-static boots or something, and that I should consider this when doing my work.

Its like telling David Beckham what kind of ball he should use on the field.

Again, granted, I'm no David Beckham, but he hasn't got a clue what I do, and he's trying to show he knows stuff.

Ugh. Obnoxious wanker.

In the beginning I wasn't even talking to him, I was talking to someone else, and he suddenly comes in and bombards me with all these questions.

As if I was at his house, asking his permission to marry his daughter.

Luckily shortly after that he had to leave.

Please tell me if I'm ever like that. Thanks.

Peace.

Baby Leaps.

2012-01-01T21:55:00.003+08:00

My previous attempts to write a post have failed due to my inability to stay focused on one thing for a long time, thus I shall keep this one relatively short.

Hi.

I had previously attempted to write about the highlights of my 2011, however I found it to be too long and, while writing, I got bored.

Anyways, lets not dwell too long on the past, and look to the future. Nothing can be done to change what is done.

Things I'm looking forward to.

I am looking forward to get a new pair of spectacles. My current ones are somewhat seasoned, due to my reckless nature, despite being only two years old.

I am also looking forward to going for suluk. What is suluk? When asked, I tell people its sort of a religious camp. Thats the simplest way to put it anyway. Its a 10-day thing, at least the one I'm going to.

Why go for suluk? Simply because, despite all the sins I've committed, am committing and bound to commit, there's still that tiny bit of me that wants to do good. And I indulge the good side of me for 10 days. haha.

I want a new handphone too. You know your phone's outdated when you can't touch the screen. Sigh.

Oooh! Grand finale. I want to buy a car. Or a house. I can't afford both. Actually at this current moment, I can't even afford one, so here's hoping for a big fat raise.

Whether I choose one or the other depends on this year's developments.

That's about it, my wishlist for 2012.

Resolutions?

I made a list, because there was this contest at the office for New Year's resolutions. I didn't win. huhu. Probably because I sent mine too late.

Here it is :

1. To smile more. :)
2. To procrastinate less. (i.e: This email)
3. To spend more time with friends and family (before labelled 'antisocial')
4. To get a girlfriend (before my mother starts pestering me)
5. To be the best person I can be.

I forgot one. Guess its not that important.

To be honest, I really feel that 2011 has made me more mature. I feel as if I've really grown up. And grown sideways. hehe.

I'm trying to gain weight, coz my father says I'm too thin. But not to worry, I'm exercising more as well.

No, I have not gone jogging as initially planned, but I do take the stairs sometimes.

And when your office is on the 19th floor, that's saying something.

I've bought a skipping rope. Really good exercise. For now I do about 20-30 skips per go, before I run out of breath.

The first time I did it, I did 10 and ran out of breath. My face was as pale as that shiny vampire.

Baby steps.

One small step for mankind, one giant leap for me.

Peace.

She's Just Good With Words.

2011-12-12T01:18:00.002+08:00

I just HAD to share.

Lets make a million small changes, instead of a really big one.

Peace.

p/s: pun intended. haha.

Social experiment.

2011-12-11T10:48:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah, yesterday was my birthday.

I turned 23.

It was an ordinary day. I had to go to work.

I've always wanted to try the Sub-of-the-Day (because its cheaper), but never did (because takut tak sedap).

So I went and bought the Sub-of-the-Day, which was crab, and surprisingly delicious. Also I added on the soup which I always wanted to try but was always sold out whenever I wanted to try it.

Which was also quite nice.

And when I arrived at work, free J Co. Donuts! Sweeett... (quite literally)

It was an OK birthday I would say. I've never been the type to have big celebrations in my honour. I like it simple.

Moving on, I conducted a social experiment.

I changed the birthdate on my Facebook page. haha.

Just to see the ones that actually remember my birthday, instead of relying on Facebook to remind them.

So here is the list of people that wished me on the ACTUAL day itself, in chronological order:

1. Nik (an hour before 12)
2. Salmi (few minutes after 12)
3. Noen (cousin)
4. Syikin (cousin)
5. Smak
6. Kak Ani (all the way from Korea)
7. Ayol (all the way from PJ. lol)
8. Mak
9. Amy
10. Sharina
11. Dee
12. Ayah
13. Chik Gee
14. Adik

So thats about. And thats counting all the sources i.e via phone, twitter, fb.

oh the results of this experiment could have been flawed, because just found out skype also sends out reminders.

Anyways, today alone I've had triple that amount of wishes on FB. and still counting.

One guy was even confident enough he said "aku tau bday ko 11/12, tapi tak tau plak tahun 88"

Shows what he knows. rofl.

OK so what does this tell me.

1. I am probably antisocial, as not that many people know me well enuf. Dang it!
2. Skype sends out personal information to others. Totally gonna sue them. someday.
3. Facebook is a powerful mind-control device that will make people believe and do whatevers.

And thats about it actually.

I'm not sure yet whether I'll tell everyone at Facebook. After all they mean well.

Moving on, for this birthday, I have only one resolution. It shall sum up everything I wish to achieve.

I wish to be the best human I am meant to be.

Peace.

Thats so gay.

2011-12-06T00:54:00.002+08:00

I think a potentially gay dude is hitting on me.

-_-"

What an epic fail of epic proportions.

I probably shouldn't have told him that I was single.

Even after he asked me a few times, for certainty.

Now he keeps on touching and rubbing my hands every once in a while.

Which is kool if i was a cat, or he was a she, but sadly no im not a cat.

Nor is he a she.

Though i think, he tries to. lol.

Does good looking (chewah) + single = gay?

HOW THE HECK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW!!

Does this mean I'm accidentally gay now?

Oh dear, how will i tell my parents?

"Mak, ayah, this gay dude sneezed at me the other day, and now i think i caughtt his gay"

Hadoi..

And this is not the first time its happened.

ZzZzZ.

Its as if I'm a gay magnet.

A gay-net, if you will.

I mean, lets face it, how many guys do you know have had experience with gays hitting on them?

If only I had the ability to make girls rub their hands and lean on me every now and then....

One can only dream... Sigh.

Speaking of dreams, past my bedtime already.

Lets hope I don't have gays roaming my dreams.

Friggin' fabulous nightmare that would be.

Peace.

Time out.

2011-11-27T19:57:00.002+08:00

Even when you are really passionate about work, you still need time for yourself.

Work-free time.

I see that now.

My father told me, don't push yourself too much, you might burn out and simply not have any interest in work anymore. You simply cannot work.

And i was pretty close to that a few days back.

I was trying so hard to finish before the due date, i barely had time for myself.

Which obviously was not good.

Now i'm at my hometown, and im enjoying a good nite's rest, company of my parents.

The only thing i want right now is to play games. but i guess i can do that tomorrow.

i miss those days when i had time to play games. i dont anymore.

when i come home, i have enough time to eat, chat with my housemate, and sleep.

not much time for myself.

i really do look forward to the weekends now.

and experience monday blues.

which is a good thing actually!

because when i was working 7 days a week at my previous company, there was no such thing as monday blues, because well, you work every damn day.

you feel blue every day. haha.

thank God i've escaped.

thank God for everything.

peace.

Reality of an engineer.

2011-11-05T13:35:00.002+08:00

I just HAD to share.

http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/2011/10/27/so-you-want-to-be-an-engineer/

Because its true, except for one thing.

You make big bucks in the oil and gas industry if you're in big oil and gas companies like Shell, Petronas, etc.

You dont make the big bucks doing all the work in consultancy companies. We're basically broke. haha.

But I think I'll stay. Read the article to know why.

Peace.

bulan bahasa kebangsaan 2

2011-10-27T23:03:00.003+08:00

sedar tidak sedar telah setahun berlalu dari kali terakhir saya menaip dalam bahasa Melayu. (jika ingin membaca boleh lah klik di sini).terlalu banyak yang telah berlaku sepanjang masa setahun ini, mana mungkin semua itu diceritakan ke dalam bentuk kata-kata.

(bila difikirkan semula, ianya mampu dilakukan, tetapi saya pun tidak sanggup hendak menaipnya.)

jika sebelum ini saya telah mempunyai buah fikiran tentang apa yang hendak dikisahkan, malangnya kali ini saya tidaklah begitu bernasib baik, hanya sekadar niat hendak menaip sambil membanggakan bahasa bangsa.

secara amnya, saya amatlah menyayangi bahasa dan bangsa saya ini. mana mungkin digantikan bahasa nenek moyang saya ini dengan bahasa penjajah. sebelum saya lahir lagi, dengan bahasa inilah bapa saya yang kacak berkenal-kenalan dengan ibu saya yang lawa, dengan bahasa inilah ibu saya dodoikan saya ketika saya bermain bola sepak di dalam kandungannya (walaupun apabila dilahirkan kaki bertukar bangku), dengan bahasa inilah arwah datuk saya membelikan saya makanan kegemaran saya sampai sekarang iaitu aiskrim, dengan bahasa inilah opah saya menjaga saya sampai ke besar dan dengan bahasa ini juga lah saya bergaduh dengan adik saya masa kecil-kecil dahulu.

sekarang saya masih kecil tetapi adik saya agak besar. ha ha ha. oh tapi suara saya besar.

tetapi tidak pula saya merasakan perasaan sayang kepada bahasa dan bangsa itu terserlah dari khalayak ramai. masing-masing beriya-iya hendak merupakan diri itu seperti bangsa lain, dengan rambut daripada hitam diwarnakan ke kuning untuk menyerupai bangsa Saiya yang super, mata coklat gelap di birukan agar sedondon dengan penyedia perkhidmatan prabayar, dan pakaian kebangsaan ditinggalkan pula dan digantikan dengan pakaian yang mengalahkan peragawati Victoria's Secret.

bukanlah saya tahu sangat tentang peragawati Victoria's Secret dan bagaimana pula pakaian Adriana Lima dan Gisele Bundchen tu, kebetulan sahaja sesekali sesekala terpandang sekali dua. Jarang terpandang kali ketiga.

berbalik kepada tajuk asal saya, terlalu ramai yang tidak lagi mahu menjadi Melayu, sebaliknya berlumba-lumba melupakan bangsa kita yang megah dengan adat dan adab ini.

apakah kurang cantiknya perempuan Melayu? begitu cantik sekali si Puteri Gunung Ledang sehinggakan Sultan Melaka sanggup menghabiskan harta kekayaannya untuk menjayakan projek mega berupa jambatan emas dan perak dari Melaka ke kaki Gunung Ledang.

hati saya mengatakan Puteri Gunung Ledang itu tidaklah memakai kanta sentuh berwarna kelabu. dan jauh sekali mewarnakan rambutnya seperti warna rambut orang utan.

apakah tidak menarik hati lelaki Melayu? jika tidak, mana mungkin Salleh Yaakob berkahwin empat.

(kenyataan di atas mampu berdiri sendiri tanpa sebarang pengukuhan.)

apakah tidak indah bahasa Melayu itu? amatlah mudah untuk dipelajari, namun terlalu sukar untuk dikuasai. nampak senang untuk difahami, amat dalam makna tersembunyi.

apakah tidak halus adat Melayu itu? tidak ada bangsa yang membahasakan diri mereka 'hamba', dalam usaha sentiasa mengingati kedudukan mereka sebagai hamba Tuhan. dan dibahasakan pula orang lain sebagai 'tuan hamba' kerana segala-galanya datang dari Allah, dan pada masa yang sama mengingatkan diri agar sentiasa merendah diri.

pelikkah kita apabila peribahasa "biar mati anak jangan mati adat" disebut-sebut nenek moyang kita? sedangkan kisah Nabi Khidir dan Nabi Musa memberitahu kita telah dibunuh seorang kanak-kanak oleh Nabi Khidir, kerana tidak mahu anak itu menyesatkan ibu bapanya yang alim kelak.

sekiranya adat telah bersulamkan agama, apa lagi yang perlu dipelikkan?

tetapi yang kita lihat sekarang jauh berbeza, mati terus adat itu dibunuh anak.

saya tidak mahu berleter panjang, kerana saya bukanlah seorang pakcik tua yang terkenang-kenangkan zaman dahulu kala.

saya hanyalah seorang pakcik muda, yang risaukan masa depan.

bukan sahaja masa depan saya, masa depan keturunan saya, dan masa depan bangsa saya.

teringat saya kepada kata-kata Hang Tuah, takkan Melayu hilang di dunia.

mungkin saya salah faham maksud beliau.

mungkin dia bukan ingin menyatakan yang Melayu itu takkan hilang.

mungkin dia telah merenung ke masa hadapan, lalu terkejut.

"takkan Melayu hilang di dunia?!?"

sekian sahaja dari saya.

salam.

Catch up.

2011-10-15T23:14:00.003+08:00

A friend of mine very recently said "Bloggers adalah orang yang paling poyo sekali. (Nak kena) Cerita pasal hari ni pergi pasar, hari ni beli ikan, bla3."

Of course only after that did he find out I blogged as well. Lol.

Personally I think its not exactly a cry for attention as he thinks it is, it is more of an expression of my thoughts.

True, some bloggers would commit suicide if there aren't any hits to their blog, they promote their writings all over the place, and some actually make money from their blogs, but not me.

I barely ever promote my blog, nor do I intend to do so in the near future.

Even as I stop moving, the world around me continues to move on.

I guess its safe to assume the world doesn't revolve around me.

Its just a place I think out loud. Without actual talking.

A few months back I joined Twitter, simply because a friend suggested it.

I liked it initially, but now, not so much.

Twitter is a place where people that don't get enough attention in real life go to.

It gives you the feeling that you're not alone in this world.

Someone is always listening in to your thoughts and feelings.

And yes, it makes you feel great sometimes, but at the end of the day, you know its all not true.

You're still alone.

Don't get me wrong, it has its uses, like venting, or subtly letting ppl know what you think, and I still do use it.

Although not as often.

Don't even get me started on 4square. LOL.

I suddenly feel the urge to be fit. I want to be fit. I want to be healthy.

I want to be buff. LOL.

I've been exercising more regularly. Push-ups, sit-ups, lifting dumbells.

I'm actually considering of going jogging.

Can you actually imagine? Me actually wanting to go for a jog? LOL.

I think all this positive thinking can be attributed to me feeling like I have a lot of energy to do stuff.

Which I think is due to my new job.

My old job, literally, sucked all the energy out of me.

When I think about it, I go home at 3 pm, I should have the whole day ahead of me to do stuff.

But I did nothing. I just went back home, and slept.

I did not feel like doing anything, did not feel like meeting anyone.

I felt like I had zero energy. I was miserable.

I see that now.

Because just yesterday, immediately after work at 6pm, I went straight to Sunway Pyramid to watch Real Steel with a bunch of friends, and later we hung out at a mamak place until it was 3 am.

And I felt that we left too soon. Still wanted to hang out more.

This feels great.

I really feel that my life is beginning to unfold.

Its that feeling you get when you've been waiting for a movie for so long, and right now you're inside the cinema, and they've just widened the screen after the previews.

Even when I stop moving, the people around me move on.

Guess its time I started moving on and try to catch up.

Peace.

Pursuit of happiness.

2011-10-12T23:47:00.002+08:00

I honestly had hoped to drown myself in work once I started this job.

And at first it seemed like I could. Work seemed endless.

Deadlines were getting closer with each passing second.

Time flew by like you're having fun, only you weren't.

You were working. Hectic.

I loved it.

Better tons of work rather than no work.

But deadlines have passed, reports issued, drawings submitted.

Now is the laid back period.

No longer do I stay at the office to leave at only 10 pm.

I leave on time now.

I probably won't be as busy as before until next month, when deadlines start rising from the dead.

Its funny.

I used to go back from work at 3 pm, and I didn't have time for anything.

Now I go back at 6 pm, and I have loads of time to do stuff.

I'm generally occupied on each weekend, always having stuff to do, people to meet.

If only I had time before.

I've actually found time to work out!

Yeah, I found that my shirts were way too big for me, so it made me look funny.

Since I can't exactly afford slim-fit shirts that fit my body precisely, I decided to make my body fit my clothes.

And suprisingly, its working.

I'm not sure if its me psycho-ing myself into believing I've gained weight (because I checked and I may have lost more weight), or my exercising is building up my upper body muscle or something, but my clothes really do look better on me nowadays.

It no longer looks like I bought a size too big, its got a nicer fit to it. So yeay.

Oh, it may also have something to do with me incorporating some walking in my daily routine.

I purposely park my car a bit far from the train station, so that I have to walk at least 40 minutes daily.

10 minutes from car to train station, 10 minutes from KLCC station to office. And backwards when going home.

And since they give free newspaper at the KLCC train station, I'm more up to date on current affairs now.

And I have just started bringing a book to work, so that while I'm on the train, I can read something, instead of listening to the same songs on my phone.

And oh, I actually take my breakfast now. Haha. Coz everyday I will walk past this kueh stall, and there would be this pretty girl selling the kueh. LoL.

At first I looked from afar, but one Friday I decided the next Monday I would start getting my breakfast from this stall.

The day I start buying kueh from this stall, is the day that girl disappears.

Talk about bad timing. rofl. Oh well, at least I eat better now. I take vitamins as well.

What else... Oh, I've put some money for some investment, so for this month, money's a bit short.

But my plan of financial independence by 40 has finally gotten on track.

Things are really taking off now. Except for that.

Oh well, in the pursuit of happiness, sadness is inevitable.

But learn from that sadness, and someday you'll turn those tears into tears of joy.

A nice song to listen to, nice video too.

Money.

2011-10-01T22:19:00.003+08:00

I was alone this weekend. My cousin / housemate went back to Ipoh to fetch his parents to go for my other cousin's wedding ceremony. I went to the wedding as well, but I didn't go back to Ipoh, because my mother took a train to Seremban. My father couldn't come because he had to take care of my grandmother who isn't in the state to travel long distance, and he himself isn't in the pink of health, but slowly recuperating.

The newly-weds weren't really newly-weds. They got married a few months back, if memory serves, and couldn't hold a ceremony because the wife was studying in Australia, and came back only for a short while to get married. The kenduri was ok, though there were things that my mother and my aunt spotted that could have been improved. Perhaps future family weddings will be better.

Just now, as I was playing Crysis 2, and after dying and dying at the same spot for a couple of times, I suddenly got really dizzy. Upon realizing I hadn't had dinner and it was already 9.15 pm, it must've been because I was hungry. After all, I had lunch at around 11 am, and had not eaten anything since. So I decided to go out to this restaurant where they had a carwash service nearby, so that I could get my car washed while I ate.

After eating, and seeing that my car was already clean, I paid for my food. It was RM7.10. I took out a RM10 note. The cashier asked me if I had 10 cents, I did not. So she gave me RM3 back, and said "Takpe lah".

Its only 10 cents, but I never liked owing people anything. 10 cents is still a debt, even if she did say its ok. I remembered there being some coins in my car, but I paid for my car wash first.

See, the car wash cost was RM9. So I gave the guy RM50, since my last RM10 I gave to the restaurant. And he gave me back my change.

So I took 10 cents from my car, went back to the cashier lady at the restaurant and gave her the 10 cents. She smiled, probably thinking it was silly of me to be so bothered about 10 cents. I said nothing and walked back to my car.

Walking back to my car, I passed the car wash guy. Then it hit me.

"Tadi saya bagi u RM50 kan? U bagi saya RM1 saje balik."

"Eh tak, u bagi RM10."

I open my wallet to check.

"Eh betul la, saya bagi u RM50, u bagi saya RM1 saje. Betul."

He goes back to check his cash box.

He holds up a RM50 note. The one that I just gave.

"Ini duit u ke?"

"Ye, ye tu duit saya."

He looked skeptical.

"Kalau duit tak cukup, nanti saya punya gaji kena potong."

"Betul, betul, saya bagi u RM50 tadi", I said as earnest as I could.

He took out RM40 and gave me my correct change.

If the cashier had the exact change for my RM10, I wouldn't have owed her 10 cents.

If I had not owed her 10 cents, I wouldn't have thought of grabbing the 10 cents in the car.

If I had not taken the trouble to pay the 10 cents, I wouldn't have passed the car wash guy again.

If I had not passed the car wash guy the second time, I wouldn't have remembered.

I would have paid the car wash guy RM50, took back the RM1, and obliviously went on home, and I would've lost RM40.

Because of that near-worthless 10 cents, I saved RM40.

Everything happens for a reason. Everything.

We just can't see the reason sometimes.

Maybe its because we're not really looking.

"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind."

"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind."

- Albert Einstein.

Hanya Engkau yang aku maksudkan, dan keredhaanMu aku tuntuti, ya Allah.

Peace.

Epilogue.

2011-09-30T00:32:00.003+08:00

The thing about being observant, is that sometimes you see things below the surface.

Things not meant for you to see.

Things you shouldn't see.

Things you wouldn't want to.

And unfortunately, we can't un-see what has been seen.

I saw something.

It made me sad.

My whole body went weak.

I know.

I knew.

From the beginning of the end, I knew this was going to happen.

After all, I was the one that set things in motion.

I was the one that created the perfect condition for it to succeed.

How do I know this? Its happened before.

Arrogantly I told someone I hoped it would happen, for everyone's benefit.

Well, it did.

Serves me right.

I just... I just...

Didn't expect it to be so soon.

My walls aren't up yet. But now they're crushed to debris.

I've got to be strong. Chin up.

This is what you wished for.

Sigh.

I shall disappear. As I have done before.

Time heals all wounds.

If only it did not leave scars.

Peace.

Does this mean you're moving on?

2011-09-15T01:34:00.002+08:00

New job is hectic.

Deadlines need to be chased.

OTs are near-compulsory.

12-hour working days are normal. (9am - 9pm).

I barely have time for anything else other than work and sleep.

I guess things happen for a reason.

But I like it.

Its tough, it demands me to do my best, what more could I ask for in a job?

I was being chased for this project, and the only thing left to do was submit the drawings.

The drafter still hasn't finished it. So I went to see him.

Turns out he was chatting on the phone.

I walk up to him, he notices me, and says to the person on the phone,

"Ey kejap eh, ada engineer ni..."

I had not realised what I am now.

That one sentence made my day.

Peace.

Revelry

2011-08-17T22:31:00.002+08:00

Some things I realized due to certain events that occured past few weeks :

i'm a natural at being the bad guy.
sometimes you have to be the bad guy for the benefit of others.

An example would be at work, when my boss is planning to make a move that would really piss off every single employee in my department, only they don't really have the guts to go against the boss.

Which is where I came in.

Practically yelled at the boss, using less than appropriate words for conversations with bosses, spoke my mind (basically everyone else's as well), and stormed off.

Yes, after that little incident I have been nicknamed 'hantu' by my colleagues, but look on the bright side, that move that was going to force everyone to come on weekends, got cancelled by the boss.

One guy even called me up on my off-day to basically express happiness. That call really made my day.

So yeah sure I'm the bad guy. Yes they still call me 'hantu' behind my back, but by me being the hantu, they don't have to be. They can all look like good little employees. When in fact behind the bosses back, they were the ones that were the most vocal.

Truth be told, when boss suggested the move, I said, I'm not entirely happy with it, but as long as I get days off, why not.

Perhaps by me being the bad guy, they get to overlook themselves. No healthy communication between boss, always talking behind bosses back, not able to voice out opinions effectively.

Sometimes its not really the bad guy's fault, but sometimes the situation just requires it to be so.

Not that any of this will matter in a few weeks time.

I've decided. I've gotten an offer, and I'm taking it.

I'm no longer happy with my current work. (amongst other things)

I'm not trying to sound unthankful or not appreciate what God has given me or anything, its just that when you're not happy, you're not happy.

Try as you might, you can never really change who you really are.

Believe me, I've tried.

The one person you can never really lie to is yourself. You can never lie to yourself.

So when you say "I'm so happy to be working here, I'm so lucky", you know deep down thats not really how you feel.

And when you do that, you're not only lying to yourself, you're dragging others along with you.

Your boss might look at you and think "He's still here, guess he's coping and happy".

And its never nice to lead someone along for the wrong reasons.

Might as well end it.

Sure its difficult, sure its hard, sure its painful. For both you and the person at the receiving end.

But better now than later.

Some people don't get the fact that when someone ends a relationship for example, its hard for both parties, not just the one getting dumped.

Example, friend of mine wanted to leave the company a few months back, came to me asking for advice.

He definitely wanted to leave, but felt bad about leaving his boss stranded, having to look for another employee, definitely will affect image of department, etc.

But I told him, everyone feels that when they want to leave, but bear in mind, it would be naive and foolish to stay behind for those reasons, because after that, there won't be a single day that the thought of "if only i had left" won't cross your mind.

There are times when you have to think about others, but there are times where it would be foolish not to think of yourself.

Now its time to muster up my courage and tender my resignation.

I remember my mother telling me about her friend's son. He was about to get married to this beautiful girl, they have been together since school, her mother of course was ecstatic to see his first-born son get married to the girl of his dreams.

Then, on the night before the actual akad nikah ceremony, when his mother was busy getting ready for tomorrow, the son came up to the mother and said "Mama, is it too late to turn back?"

Turns out the guy wasn't really into the girl, was into another girl, but i suppose never had the courage or chance to say so.

The mother couldn't possibly cancel the wedding at the very last minute, so to save face they went on with it.

A year passed, the couple got a divorce.

My mother kept on repeating this story to me time and time again. Never be like this. Never be this irresponsible. Never do something like this to her.

And I never will. When I get married, or maybe, IF i get married, there won't be a doubt in my mind that this will be the person I want to spend my life with, grow old with, fight over the remote control of the TV with, go for Haji with, have children with, argue about how there's so many house chores to be done and I'm not helping at all with, get nagged because I'm playing too much computer games with...

Okay got carried away. But you get my point.

Speaking of getting nagged, I suddenly remember this funny story about one sahabat wanting to meet Umar Al-Khattab, because he can't stand his wife's constant nagging. Upon reaching Umar's house, he finds that Umar's wife is lecturing Umar, and Umar just sitting there listening. LOL.

So afters, he tells Umar about his wife, to which Umar smiled and said, "My brother, my wife cooks for me, cleans my clothes, takes care of the house for me, and nurtures my children non-stop. So when she makes a mistake or two, its better not to cling on to it, while forgetting all the good she has done."

So anyways, cheers to new jobs, new life, new relationships. Cherish and learn from old experiences.

Always hoped the third would be the one. Life does not necessarily turn out the way you hoped.

Peace.

Much too think, think too much.

2011-08-11T22:50:00.002+08:00

"Dear Claire, "What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if?"

I think too much. Is it because I have much to think about?

I think its more or less the same as everyone else. Maybe I'm over-analyzing stuff.

Even writing this post proves I analyze too much.

But its who I am really.

I can't imagine doing something day after day, the same old routine, without thinking.

I'd probably die of boredom if my job was the type were you sit at the assembly line as assemble the same stuff day after day.

After day after day after day...

Its like being in the Hereafter .... when you're Herebefore. (if that makes sense)

The only reason, when I think about it, why I stayed with my current job for so long, is because its .... difficult. Its challenging. Generally different everyday.

You have to think on your feet. You have to deal with all sorts of people. You need to know how to manouver (can't believe i forgot how to spell manouver, not sure if this is even the right spelling). You need to know how to negotiate, give and take.

Not be affected by what people say, and focus objectively on task at hand.

But after awhile, all of that seems.. routine.

The mind adapts. It reacts quicker to unexpected changes. It becomes more active, more critical. Soon, it gets used to it.

Which is when fun turns to boredom.

Sure there'll new problems, new situations, but really, same thing, different day.

Sometimes I wish I was that type of person, the person that is complacent with everything.

That simply gets a job, goes 'Alhamdulillah', and stays with that job and retires.

Or meets just one person, immediately goes ' this is my soulmate!' and stays with that someone, and lives....

Happily. Ever. After.

If only life was a fairytale. If only it were that easy.

UBJ V JVFU V'IR ZRG FBZRBAR GUNGF RKPVGVAT, NAQ SHA NAQ PBZCYRK OHG FB SNE V'IR ABG.

CENL SBE ZR.

ROT13.

Peace.

Ruud

2011-07-30T00:05:00.002+08:00

I sometimes wonder how people can be very rude. To people that they are angry with, or people they've known for a long time, yes. But people they've just met?

I'm no saint, but its practically impossible for me to be rude to someone I've just met, even if I tried.

Why are there rude people in this world? Were they taught from childhood to be rude? Maybe.

Maybe not taught to be rude directly, but not being taught on how to be polite.

Perhaps rude people think that they are superior to others, therefore they feel that a way to show their superiority is to be rude and see that the other party can't do anything about it.

It just makes me sad to be in the company of rude people.

I myself am rude sometimes, but most of the time its to prove a point. Sometimes being rude shows that you're serious, you're not playing around.

But to be rude just for the sake of showing off is just plain wrong.

Pity those that were not raised with good values.

Pity more those that were, but lost them in the process.

Me? I was raised well, strayed a little, but now I'm back on the right path.

But I have a long way to go.

As do we all.

Peace.

The Actual Return.

2011-07-12T18:14:00.002+08:00

"Jahil yang tahu satu ilmu, maka itulah sahaja yang dia tahu. Alim yang tahu satu ilmu, juga sedar dia tidak tahu sepuluh."

Despite my best efforts, I can never find anything actually interesting to write about. Its just all so very boring.

But the people I meet are very interesting specimens indeed. For instance, I've never actually met someone that's just plain unhelpful. As in "why should I help? not my problem.".

I met someone like that today.

To not help when someone needs help but isn't asking for it is one thing, to not help when someone is asking for help is just darn right mean. Borderline evil.

Its not like you're going to lose anything by helping. But you stand to gain loads by helping. I.e : you scratch my back, I scratch yours.

Mentality of some human beings.

Also, females are very emotional beings. They get very emotional when they don't get what they want. If they're angry with their boss, they hide it and probably cry in the toilet because they can't really say anything.

But if they're angry with someone at the same level or below them, i.e me, they lash out and / or tattle out to my superior. Such an annoying trait.

I can see why there are so many gays running around. Ouch.

Or why she's not yet married. Double ouch.

Scratch that last one. There's plenty more reasons why she isn't married other than that. Triple ouch.

Speaking of bosses, some bosses really do have sticks up their bottoms.

One boss at work rarely ever smiles, and even when he does, it seems... weird.

He also has this funny (creepy) laugh, kinda like the sound you make when you wanna smell your own breath to see if its fresh or not.

I really don't like him, so I try my best to avoid contact with him. And I see he is doing the same as well.

Win-win situation.

But the higher ups seem to like him very much because he seems to be leading his department well.

If that's the price of performance, then I choose to be a loser anytime.

The mere sight of him makes me stressed sometimes. But now that I don't really work with him anymore, no more stress.

He just makes my eyes itch sometimes.

What prompted this unexpected return you ask? Well, I've actually more or less mastered my work.

So which means the time I spend actually thinking and worrying about work, is now no longer used.

In other words, I'm bored.

Yes, to be honest, I was so engrossed with my work, I really wanted to do well in work, I struggled like mad, when after 2 months I realized, you can only do so much, God does the rest.

Kinda suits me coz I'm in the Planning department.

Now I have some spare time at work, and due to my unhectic work life, I have more free time on my hands.

Which reminds me, I have to sweep my room. Its been two weeks.

If only I can find the broom underneath all these dust bunnies...

Peace

The Return.

2011-07-07T19:24:00.003+08:00

"I can avoid being seen if I wish, but to disappear entirely, that is a rare gift."

Hi. I'm back.

No I didn't really go anywhere. Back blogging.

Yes. I am back. For good.

Really.

Though I don't really have anything to say....

Hmm.

Did not put much thought into this.

Will be back soon with actual things to write about.

Peace.

Monologue.

2011-05-05T00:30:00.003+08:00

I am stressing myself out too much. I feel like the world is unfair.

I try to focus on the positives and remind myself how lucky i am, but lets face it, I am never content with what I have.

It is part of being human, I'm told.

Its true, you meet all sorts of people at work.

Very nice people, very rude people, hypocrites, timid, honest, all the adjectives you can think off.

Me? I'm the quiet, shy one. I try to avoid coming off as arrogant by smiling a lot.

So far its working 70% i think.

There are people that know my name, when I do not know theirs. Which is a weakness on my part.

I try to be less inhibited by my fears. I feel myself improving by day.

I moan and grumble a lot now. Some people care, but not the ones that should.

Never judge a book by its cover. And never judge people by the way they look.

Apparently, some feel that its professional to yell at someone and expect that person not to take heart.

I just think when you need to yell, you're just not communicating properly.

I tell myself often that I should be grateful, but it always tells me otherwise.

If I am not grateful, at least I am trying to be.

Often when I really think about it, I don't really know what I want.

I thought at first it was money, but when I'm tired I just want some rest.

So I never really ask God for anything specific. I just ask Him to take care of me.

I sometimes wonder if He really is looking after me, and if so, why is he putting me through self-doubt and hardships?

Then He reminds me of Muhammad, and how he was born an orphan.

I really should learn to complain less. But that is just who I am. But I'm learning. Slowly.

I know not if this is the true path He intends for me to follow, but I do know it is leading there.

For now, I'll just have to take it one step at a time.

Peace and love.

Cost indicator.

2011-04-02T18:10:00.010+08:00

It was love at first listen. Plus she's like really cute. :P

Forget about the price tag? My mother always told me if you're spending money on food, then you can forget about the price (tag).

So to me, I don't mind spending most of what I earn on good food. I am a bit fussy when it comes to eating, which would explain why I was slightly thinner back in the day.

But apart from food, I seldom splurge so carelessly. I always think twice, or even thrice when wanting to buy something.

I like having loads of money. Sometimes not to spend. Just to know I have lots of it. Haha.

I think some people have the opposite idea. Money is to be spent. If you have excess money, then its for spending.

Why not keep money instead? You'll never know when you'll need it. Plus that brand new hi-tech phone isn't gonna be so hi-tech in 2 months time. Or that cute dress isn't gonna look so cute in 2 months time (coz you're probably gonna buy another cute dress and forget all about the last one.)

But I guess I'm in no position to talk. Different people have different interests. Some people would go hungry just to get that new iPad. Some would sell their iPads for new shoes.

The price tag is important though. When you're eyeing that new gadgetron or salivating over that RM100 steak at Victoria's Station, just remember that some people can barely afford a simple plate of rice with lauk.

I sometimes grumble on my own, thinking about how average my salary is, when some of my colleagues, with the same qualifications as me, are earning almost twice as much.

But seeing as how I'm earning twice as much as one of my housemates, I try to grumble less.

Knowing that we are weak, He sends us reminders almost everyday, to guide us to the right path. And sometimes I feel blessed that I am lucky enough to actually notice His reminders, when so many others do not.

I am not a good person. Although I do know that I am trying to be one.

And for the time being, that is good enough.

Peace and love.

Hehe.

Ego.

2011-03-17T00:01:00.003+08:00

Even before humans learned how to speak, we already know that guys have huge egos. They just haven't assigned a word to it yet. But you must be wondering, (girls especially), what is ego anyways? Why is it that sometimes men's ego gets in the way of expressing how we really feel and stuff?

Well, wonder no more, coz Geekazoid's making a tutorial on ego. Men's ego to be exact. Girls pun ada jugak, but I'm not so sure how it works.

In general, our hearts, not the one pumping blood, the heart that supposedly feels emotions, are all the same, regardless of gender. Its very sensitive, or in plain words, its fragile.

But men, being the proud creatures that we are, don't like to appear fragile or broken or weak. This is where ego comes in. Ego kinda protects the heart from being affected by emotions that are considered weak or girly like love, sadness. Its kinda like a bodyguard to the heart, protecting it from being vulnerable.

At most times its a very efficient bodyguard, always keeping cool, protecting the heart from being hurt. Ego is usually even more protective of the heart with new people, because nobody likes strangers. But once you get to know the new person, ego eases up a bit and lets the heart explore a little. But sometimes it takes awhile for ego to open up.

Ego does have its weaknesses though. One, it may be TOO overprotective, thus pushing away the people that wants to find a way into our hearts.

Secondly, it lets its guard down with the people that can hurt us the most, the people we care about the most. Which sometimes sucks bad.

So when this happens, ego sometimes feels overly responsible for not doing his job. so he becomes even more protective then before. this is what we called a bruised ego. It is in this stage that there isn't much that ANYONE can say to calm ego down, so just say words of comfort, don't agitate ego any more than you already have, and let him settle down on his own.

and that's about all there is to know about ego. its not that hard to understand. so in return, try to be more understanding rather than be all emo and whatnot when some guy is being all egoistic on you. there's usually a reason. maybe he knows you can hurt him, so he builds his shields up so you can't. maybe you did something before that makes him slightly more cautious now.

we men aren't so complicated. women on the other hand, fuh, im not sure girls really understand themselves that well, but they're expecting guys to be understanding. lol.

till next time, peace. :)

Sleepless night.

2011-02-23T02:23:00.003+08:00

I can't sleep.

Probably due to my bloated stomach.

I've got to wake up at 4 30 tomorrow. And at 2 am, I cant sleep.

Maybe that dream woke me up.

Yes, I had a dream. Someone was getting dumped.

No it was not me, that was doing the dumping, or the one being dumped.

It seemed like I was observing from afar. Maybe stalking from afar.

At least that's what my heart is telling me.

Funny, how I dream about other people.

Its really funny when you think about.

How humans really need other humans in order to survive.

Would someone die if he had no contact whatsoever with another human?

Probably not.

Would he go crazy by the time he died?

Probably.

Plus, the first human ever, before being sent down to Earth, lived in Heaven.

He had all that he could possibly want there, yet he felt as if something was amiss.

He felt.. alone. So God created him a partner, to keep him company.

I guess its programmed inside our brains.

We need a partner in life, one from the opposite gender.

After all, God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

This has almost nothing to do with what I dreamt earlier.

I'm just killing time.

I said recently that I feel like disappearing. I meant it.

Not disappear as in "missing persons" disappear, just keeping under the radar.

I don't know why. Sometimes I just feel like it.

Despite efforts, I can't seem to go back the way I was 10 years ago.

No social life whatsoever, always stuck in front of the computer.

And I was happy. I had no interest in going out whatsoever.

I went to the movies with my family, and thats about it.

Did not hang out with friends outside of school.

10 years ago, I was in Form 2. I was 12 throughout my Form 2.

Yes, its surprising, but I skipped standard 4 and I was born in December.

So yes, I was 12 years old when I was in Form 2.

I was 15 when I did my SPM. Only about a week later did I turn 16.

I finished my matriculation when I was 17.

I graduated and went for my convocation before my 22nd birthday.

Compared to most of my peers, I'm always the youngest.

Although its just a one year difference, some people never made me forget it.

Not in a positive way.

I'd be lying if I said it didn't affect me. Confidence-wise, I was pretty much screwed back then.

See, if you're a younger girl, apparently guys dig that, so you're good.

But if you're a younger boy, girls don't really dig that so much.

And this fact was made clear to me, especially so by the girl I was kinda sorta going out with when I was in matriculation.

FYI, was never my gf, but close. (disclaimer in case pesky cousins still read my blog. haha)

She kept pointing out the fact that I was younger. Said that my immaturity was due to this one year gap between us.

In my opinion I think it was her that was being immature.

But in the end I think she did fall for me. And I did fall for her.

But only in the beginning. I found out she wasn't what I wanted.

So after matriculation, we went our separate ways, to put it politely.

Anyways, this wasn't what I wanted to talk about.

Sometimes I felt as if life went by faster than it should.

Because of people like this, life went too fast, and all too slow at the same time.

But after awhile, I became more mature, and these things don't bother me as much.

'As much' being the key word(s) here.

In case any pesky cousins are reading, no I don't have a gf, I've had close friends, but no gfs.

Close calls, but no gfs. Haha.

(Mungkin boleh sebarkan berita ini kepada family Haji Arshad supaya tak ada la tiap2 kali family gathering asyik kena tanya soalan sama je.)

Okay i should be trying to go back to sleep again. I need to wake up in another hour.

And I will disappear from the online world for a bit. Just for fun. Just to see how long I can last.

So, till we meet again. Take care. All the best. Sleep tight. Sweet dreams.

Peace.

Remembering Him.

2011-02-19T22:24:00.004+08:00

It is a pity I had only thought of writing this article after our beloved's birthday, but as they say better late than never.

We've all heard stories of how incredible our Prophet is, but the one that I really connected with, other than this, is the story I'm about to write here.

Once upon a time, our beloved Prophet was fasting with his wife Aisyah. On the first day, when it was time to break fast, they only food they had was four pieces of kurma
. So our Prophet took two, and his wife took two, and they ate.

On the second day, they only had two pieces of kurma with them. So they made do with what they had and they both took a piece to break their fast.

On the third day, all they had was one single piece of kurma. Seeing this, our Prophet divided that one single piece of kurma into four equal pieces. Three pieces he gave to Aisyah, one piece he took for himself.

So before breaking fast, he held up his hands to make doa. As the story goes, they were apparently being watched by two angels nearby, and when Rasulullah held up his hands, they were afraid.

They were afraid that if in the doa Rasulullah mentioned about the lack of food, and they just stood there and watched, they would face Allah's wrath. So they decided to do something about it.

The first angel materialized himself in front of Rasulullah. He then said to him, "Ya Rasulullah, I am the guardian of the seas. Say the word, and I shall bring forth to you from the deepest depths of the ocean, a most exquisite dish that no one before you has ever tasted."

But Rasulullah said nothing.

The second angel then tried his luck. He then materialized himself and said to our Prophet, "Ya Rasulullah, I am the guardian of the earth. Say the word, and I shall extract from the very centre of the earth, minerals of immense value, which will bring wealth beyond measure not only to you, but even to your children's children."

But again, Rasulullah did not respond.

He then proceeded to make his doa, which in Bahasa Malaysia can be roughly translated as:

"Hanya Engkau yang aku maksudkan, dan keredhaan-Mu yang aku tuntuti."

And he then ate his kurma.

Why is this particular story so touching to me?

First of all, everything happens according to God's will. It is His will that we are who we are today, be it rich or poor, naughty or nice.

In other words, it is God's will, and God's will alone that our Prophet had only one piece of kurma that fateful day. And it is God's will that the two angels sitting there, offered what they had offered.

So our Prophet, knowing this, also knows that if God had wished for him to live in the lap of luxury, he would already be so. So despite the unbelievably tempting offers by the two angels, he declined. He accepted his fate.

How many of us are happy with what we have? We live extremely luxurious lifestyles as compared to our Prophet, yet are we satisfied? We still crave more.

If we can't be thankful with what we have now, how can we be so sure that we will be thankful when we get what we crave so much?

And also, when we ask for more, do we act as if we know whats best for us? Perhaps more is less. And what we have at the moment is the best. God should know whats best for us, don't you think?

Secondly, the word 'tuntut' in this context means 'to study, or to learn' as in 'penuntut Universiti', not 'penuntut hutang'. Therefore, when our Prophet said " keredhaan-Mu yang aku tuntuti", it can be interpreted as our Rasulullah is learning or trying to understand what God has planned for him.

In other words, he does not fully understand why he is in the condition that he is, but he accepts that what God gave him is the best, and he tries to comprehend it.

When you think about it, no man wants to see his wife having only 3/4 of a date to break fast with. No man wants that. But he believes 100% that God knows whats best for him, and thus it is only down to him to try and comprehend the reason behind it all.

So with that humility in mind, he only points out that he is learning what God has given him, and dares not ask even the slightest bit more.

It truly brings a tear to my eye sometimes when this story comes to mind. How humble, how faithful a servant to God our Prophet is. We all know that he is created to perfection, yet perhaps what we don't realize is that there is also immense effort on his part to actually be perfect.

We know that he is perfect. But we must also never forget that he is human. If he is the ideal condition for a human being and it is impossible to be like him, if we can reach even 10% of what he is like, if that were to be your lifetime achievement, you would have lived an incredible life.

In essence, this story was told to me by my father as it is, but there may be slight inaccuracies within the details. Also, the interpretations for the most part are mine alone, I do not claim it be accurate nor true, only my humblest of opinions and thoughts.

Peace.

Seeing through the eyes of a Geekazoid.

2011-02-13T19:40:00.003+08:00

I think after so many months of not writing anything proper, this particular post pretty much covers it back. Its long, be warned.

Before I moved here, i.e Four-eyed Geekazoid, my blog was called Life, as I see it. It was exactly what it was called. It was life, mine, others, whoevers, as I see it. It may not necessarily be right, but thats how i see it. And when you read the blog, or sometimes when i read it back, i can really see through the eyes of younger me.

When i read the earlier posts, I can see how I was back then. I see how I progressed, my writing becomes more matured supposedly, becoming more thoughtful rather than more rubbish-y (although the rubbish is usually the fun stuff, no one wants to be serious all the time).

Old people always say wisdom comes with age, but you never really believe them when they say it. You, or in this case, I'd nod in agreement, but in my heart I'd say what a load of tartar sauce. haha.

Its been 4 years since i started blogging, well, to be exact 1 more month till its 4 years, the first entry on the previous blog was in March. And it takes me 4 years to realize what they were saying weren't bollocks after all.

For the most inexplicable of reasons, ever since I started working, the only thing I can talk about when having deep conversations with close work friends is about life. How is life nowadays, how life was before, what life is going to be like. When you grow up, you tend to worry more. You never worry about these sort of things when you were studying.

Really, when you think about it, sure while studying, you sometimes think about what you're going to be when you graduate, when you're going to start a family, etc2, but only when you graduate, only when you step into the real world do these things hit you smack! in the face, like a brick thrown by a professional brick-maker / thrower, if there ever was such a thing.

I worry. Yes, almost every day. I just try not to show it, because that's who I am. I am not one who shows his true emotions easily. I worry almost every single day, what I will be like one year from now, will I like what I'm doing, will I be happy with my life, will I be stable financially, will I be able to afford to start a family, all sorts of nonsensical rubbish.

Even then, I still consider myself lucky, seeing as how I still have freedom to do the things that I want, for example if I wanted to quit my job today, I'd still be okay. I can't imagine the things people endure when they're married, even more so when they're with children. They don't really have the luxury to do the things they wanted to do, they're bound to their spouse, they're bound to their children, and the responsibilities towards these people.

I sometimes meet people in the plant that are clearly unhappy with their work, they make no effort whatsoever to conceal it, but they still have to work. "Anak bini nak makan apa kalau berhenti? Kerja je la, nak hidup".

Sometimes people are so eager to get married, girls especially, but do they realize the responsibilities that comes with marriage? Its not just the ultimate gesture of commitment (for girls i think) or a way to legally get laid (for guys rofl), it is a binding contract that comes with heavy responsibilities that sometimes requires you to do things that you do not want.

But of course, it does come with its benefits.... rofl.

I have found over the years the importance of being social. Sometimes it is not something i feel like doing. "I have my group of friends, why do I need more again?", is what my brain would say. But in certain occasions, when you don't know anyone, you have to be social. Its just something that you have to conjure up, kinda like confidence. Plus you never know if that person you're talking is quite the interesting fella, and you'd definitely want to be friends with.

Speaking about confidence, I usually lack the confidence to talk to new people. I seem to have no problem with public speaking or interviews though, but when its one on one, like a social thing, i have problems. When its an interview, of course you get nervous, but I just suck it up and suddenly I'm all confident. When its one on one, its harder! I have no idea why that is. Most people have it backwards i think. Or maybe I'm the one backwards.

Oh, that reminds me, answer to encrypted message is I don't care anymore. Let it be so.Message is actually referring to the status of the interview i went to before. They still haven't given an answer, and I'm kinda tired of waiting. Congrats to those that figured it out! You have just won....

... nothing really.

And that little bit of information reminds me of a conversation I had with my friend KB. about catalysts. sometimes in life I need catalysts to push me to do stuff. It can be a certain someone, or a pressing situation, but I would often need a catalyst to react more quickly and more agressively. If not, I would just be like Patrick and watch as life, or a special someone, or a golden opportunity pass me by.

But that's just who I am. I can't help it. Maybe you can. And maybe I can help you. That's what friends are for, they say.

I've been truly blessed to have met and befriended the people that I know today, I would be absolutely lost and confused without them (you guys included), and though my ego does not allow me to show it, know that my heart cares deeply for each and every one of you.

My heart is so happy sometimes that I can't help but smile when I see you. My brain is telling me " keep it cool bruh! stop smiling!" but I just can't help it. haha. That's just who I am.

So cheers, assuming that you've actually read through the entire post,you've discovered a different side of your quiet friend today, and to avoid further damage to my ego, I shall stop here.

Till next time dear friend, peace.

Encrypted

2011-02-09T00:26:00.002+08:00

9,3,14,5,20,4,1,25,12,2,15,18,13,5,5,14,5,15,20,19,20,1,18,9,15

5x5 grid.

happy thoughts.

2011-01-29T23:50:00.003+08:00

my mind is full of depressing thoughts, that i can't help but write about depressing topics. i shall try to write about happier things.

i skipped work today. yeay. i went out for a late night movie, ended up going back home extremely late. so i decided to skip work. luckily someone was there to cover for me. note to self : you may not have a social life after this.

i went to singapore recently. for an interview. by plane. which was paid for by the company doing the interview. it was only for a day, but i got to meet up with a friend, so it was fun.

my probation period was cut short and i was made permanent staff 3 months earlier. great stuff. and i got me a small raise. wiee~

ive turned 22, turning 23. people say i look older though. which is their way of saying "it sucks that I'm a lot older than you".

im grateful that im not burdened by thoughts of marriage, and im free to do whatever the hell i want with my money instead of spending thousands of hard-earned cash collected over the years for some one-day grandiose event.

well, not yet anyways.

im grateful and happy that i do not have a girlfriend that basically sucks my pocket dry in order to satiate her craving for high-end fashion accessories.

its true, ive seen it happen. or see it happening still. forgive my harsh tone on this topic, but i just cant help but hate golddiggers. maybe not 100% true golddiggers, but still taking advantage of boyfriends money and affections.

i am grateful that despite my average salary, i am able to save some money for future use and at the same time give some allowance for my parents and brother AND grandmother. considering the fact that other people with huge paychecks cant even save some cash for themselves.

i am grateful that i am still blessed with good health, peaceful life.

there are lots more stuffs that i'm grateful for, but the last one i wanna say hear before i go to sleep is that i'm grateful that I can be grateful, when others are not able to do so.

things that happened in the past year have made me change my perspective on life. i can't really say what has changed, but its for the better. rather than focusing on what i think i want and what i feel i need, i focus more on the effort, rather than the objectives.

because truthfully speaking, despite being a 100% sure, we never really know whats best for us. could be the thing that we want the most, would be the worst thing that ever happened to us, and vice versa.

one door closes, another opens. things always happen for a reason. there are no coincidences.

so i do my best, and let Him take it from there.

Unlike us, God knows what he's doing. Have faith.

peace.

Need You

2011-01-23T19:21:00.004+08:00

I wrote two posts, but couldn't post them up, because some things are just best left unsaid.

Have faith, will regain confidence to write soon enough. *crosses fingers.

here's a nice video though. despite the pop genre, it has very nice lyrics.

Peace.

Ramblings of a madman 2

2011-01-08T00:04:00.005+08:00

Is it my destiny to live out a normal life? To have nothing significant to be remembered by?

I look at the people in this factory, and they do the same thing day after day after day, as do I.

Should I perish today, would it be that hard to replace me?

Despite my best efforts, I'm still learning and it would take years for me to really prove myself.

Sometimes in life, we realize that although we try, we never really have any control over what happens. But that does not mean we won't try. Or that we shouldn't.

Life is tiring. And very repetitive. Sun goes up, sun goes down, moon comes up, moon comes down. Repeat.

I look at the people in this factory, and I wonder, do they not get bored of doing the same thing over and over again? How can they be so nonchalant about something that they're wasting their life with? Is there no passion at all?

Will I turn into them? A mindless drone that simply does as he is told.

Work is no fun. This I have learned. Experience is extremely important. Must have something to look forward to, to be motivated enough to wake up in the morning.

In a factory full of guys, the sight of girls is always a welcome sight.

A guy will always need a girl. No matter what the guy says. Doesn't have to be a boyfriend-girlfriend thing, just a girl to hang out with is good enough.

I don't really see her that way. Or maybe not yet. Haha. Probably shouldn't. Never a nice thing to fool around with people's girlfriends.

But sometimes not so nice things can be fun. Muahaha. Such an evil person.

But I do know I'm trying to be good. Still not there yet though. But I'm trying. That counts for something.

Its not easy for someone to be good. Its hard. But so long as we try to achieve the best we can, we're headed in the right direction.

Even if we mess up in the middle, its still ok.

I do not want to be a mindless drone. Nor do I want to be a drone with a mind, stuck somewhere I do not want to be, desperate for a change.

Must look for something to look forward to. Now I'm just living life one step at a time.

I'm afraid of making mistakes. But it is inevitable in the learning process. You learn better with mistakes. Must learn to be tougher when handling mistakes, and along the way, reduce frequency of occurance.

Is it important to have a career according to what you studied? Is it wrong to be a simpleton when you studied one of the supposedly toughest engineering course in the world?

Does the knowledge gained previously go to waste?

Technically speaking there's nothing wrong. A job is a job is a job. As long as it pays. If it doesn't, then that's volunteer work. haha.

But sometimes, the heart wants what it wants.

The heart is a weak organ. The heart that pumps blood is quite strong, but the heart that controls your emotions (figuratively speaking) is weak. It is easily swayed by outside opinion, more often than not uses completely illogical reasoning, BUT despite all this, we listen to it more than we listen to our brains.

Because supposedly the heart never lies.

But that doesn't mean the heart is always right. The heart is stupid. The brain is clever.

Perfect balance between both will set you on the right path.

Peace

Experience

2010-12-18T18:48:00.003+08:00

I was standing in a field of grass, that stretched as far as the eye could see. There were no hills, no trees, no buildings, just grass all around.

It was dark. My heart tells me it was not night time, but there was little sunlight to be seen. The sky looked like it was about to rain, but I did not hear any thunder.

The grass swayed from right to left, suggesting that the wind was blowing. I did not feel it on my skin, nor did I hear it blow.

It would have been a beautiful sight, were it not so dark and gloomy. Nevertheless, not often do you get a view such as this all to yourself.

But I was not the only one there. There was someone else.

Or something.

A shadowy creature stood only a few feet away from me. I could not see the face of this hunched figure, partly due to the dark skies, but mostly due to the darkness surrounding it, conveniently disguising its identity.

It was angry.

I felt that it, or rather he was angry.

At me.

He scolded me for something, I could not understand the words he said, but I knew he was scolding me for something I did.

I was afraid. I apologized, but the words that were coming out of my mouth, I could not decipher. I still can not. But I knew what I was saying.

Perhaps there is a language that I did not know I could speak. Or perhaps I have forgotten.

He was not satisified. He moved closer towards me. He did not walk, for he did not have any legs. Only upon recalling the ordeal did I remember that, where there should have been legs, there was smoke.

I did not feel threatened, for some reason. He was standing closer now, facing towards me, speaking in a calmer voice. He warned me of something, of what I did not know.

But his very last sentence was the only one that I could understand. It was in Malay. I do not remember it word per word, but it was something like :

"Lagi-lagi dengan keadaan sekarang ini."

And then it happened.

This was by far the most incredible thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

The creature turned to see it himself.

The clouds above started to swirl and from it, four huge tornados began to form. Simultaneously. It was swirling mid-air, and took a few seconds before all four hit the ground.

I recall the sound of the wind finally reaching my ears, but it is not something I can describe.

Suddenly, total darkness.

A second passed.

I hear the sound of my heart beating. I feel it in my chest. I hear myself inhaling and exhaling air.

I am back.

For some reason, I did not open my eyes. Instead, I stayed that way, in darkness, until after perhaps a few more seconds, I fell asleep again.

But this time, there was no dream.

Peace.

talking to myself

2010-12-13T23:43:00.002+08:00

this post really is just me talking to myself, so uh,you might wanna skip ths one.

I can't sleep.

(... because I just woke up from my nap 3 hours ago.)

Its funny how someone has a lot to say but can't really find the words to say it.

Yet at the same time some people don't really have something worth saying, yet they say it with more words than necessary.

Is it weird to talk to yourself? Because I do that almost all the time. (not in public though, coz that'd be even weirder)

I discuss things that are on my mind, I help myself get motivated or gather the courage to do something, I sometimes scold myself for not performing or not doing any better.

When you pile it up in one sentence, I guess it does look pretty weird.

But at least, I think anyways, this way I know that I always think back on the things I've done. And things I'm about to do.

Its not that I can't get people to talk to, its just that sometimes there are things that you feel, the things that you fear, the things that you favour, only you yourself can truly understand.

And lets face it, this blog really is another way of me talking to myself. Its not something I promote to people, just for people that are interested to know what I'm thinking.

Since I don't really talk so much, apparently.

I think I think a lot.

(that sentence kinda answers itself)

Its hard to find nice people to talk to. Really.

Some just talk too little, some just talk too much, some just aren't on the same page with you.

Which would explain why I have many close friends, yet not so many friends.

Relatively speaking, of course.

Someone once told me that meeting new people is fun.

My first thought was "Whats so fun about that? What a weird thing to say".

Luckily, I've learned to keep my first thoughts to myself. Although my facial expressions betray me sometimes, and whenever I think something like that, the sarcastic smile always comes out.

But facial expressions are just as hard to read as the mind.

I find that meeting new people is important, but not necessarily fun.

I've heard very recently that "If there's no networking, then its not working."

Which is very true. but its very difficult to change yourself, from this generally quiet person to a generally talkative person.

But i'm working on it, ( like i said on the interview the other day).

You could say that before this, if I'm talking to you, means I like you, and I find you an interesting person to talk to.

Because really, its important someone interesting to talk to, because if the person isn't that interesting to talk to, in my opinion, why bother really.

But now I find out that talking for no purpose other than to talk is required in the real world, therefore I shall work on it.

I need to work on my people skills.

I never realized before work that my reserved-ness was such a bother to other people. I guess no one ever bothered to tell me that I was a quiet person. I guess they thought I knew.

Well, I didn't.

Ah, long story short, life really is a journey to further improve oneself.

Or as some would put it, returning back to the state of perfection you once were, i.e the way you were created.

I realize that after writing for so long, I didn't really have a point to convey. Or perhaps there were a few valid points, lost in between the lines.

Life is full of mysteries. One of it being why I blogged about this, whatever this is.

Oh wait, it was because I can't sleep.

I still can't.

If I was you, I probably wouldn't read the whole blog post and would probably skim through this ridiculously long post.

Generally what I'd do is that I'd read the beginning part, the middle part, conclude that the post isn't really worth the effort to read, and skip to the end, before commenting, sometimes on stuff totally unrelated to the post.

In general I suppose I'm a guy that gets bored very easily. I sometimes get bored of myself even. People bore me sometimes. I sometimes make up scenes in my head to avoid boredom.

But i digress. I'm bored now, which means it'll be easier for me to fall asleep.

All the best in life, be nice to other people, always eat your vegetables.

Peace. Take care.

Epic of Epic Epicness

2010-11-30T20:56:00.002+08:00

Short post (again) to let people know what I'm currently into.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Won't explain much, title pretty much explains itself. Its a comic-turned-movie. Like really2 funny, and fun to watch. I also liked the soundtrack, here's one of the songs i like.

In general life is looking up. Looking on the bright side of life now. Funny how you're one day a nocturnal creature, the next you're this 50 year old guy that sleeps after dinner. How one day you're doing absolutely nothing with the time that you have, the next you wish you had 25 hours in a day. Life's like that I suppose. Only thing predictable about life is that it is unpredictable.

In the process of work I have learned so many things, most of which don't really relate to work. One, never be arrogant with what you have. I used to be so proud of my degree, but working has taught me that a degree is only a piece of paper. The guy I'm learning from at work didn't even finish high school. Despite that, he's currently one of the few experts left in the factory, and people come to him for advice on what to do almost all the time. Lesson in humility.

Next, always be grateful with what you have. If you're not grateful with what God has given you, then how can you expect Him to give you more? And grateful doesn't mean you're settling for something mediocre, it just means you're thankful for what you have, but at the same time strive to improve.

My school had this Latin motto, Bene Orasse, Bene Studuisse, which translates to Pray Hard, Study Hard. When translated into Malay, it became Berusaha dan Berdoa. I'm thinking they left out one crucial part. My motto now is Berusaha, Berdoa, Bersyukur.

:)

Till next time, enjoy!

Peace from the Black Sheep. :P

P/s : Go watch Scott Pilgrim if you haven't! EPIC! I heart Sex Bob-Omb! rofl.

Relativity of Life and How Unrelated Mine Is.

2010-11-17T15:55:00.005+08:00

short post to let people know i'm alive.

i'm alive.

(end)

though i don't really have that much of a social life these days (or the days before), so you could say i'm kinda not alive.

does this make me undead?

why undead anyways? why not un-alive.

guess it doesn't sound as catchy.

work is demanding a lot more from me than i expected.

first it demands that i wake up early. real early. 4 30 am.

thats usually about the time i go to sleep during my uni days.

which would explain a lot about my attendance (or lack of it).

i don't mind, since i get to sleep after work, which is 3 pm. plus i avoid the rush hour traffic, always a plus in my books.

but now work is robbing me of my weekends as well.

apparently the company failed to mention that i'm "obligated" (not exactly required) to come in during the weekends.

or any other time the factory runs.

which is all the time. till the end of time.

which inadvertently is sucking the social life right out of me. yeah i'm close to fully dead now.

my co-workers don't really mind though, probably coz they're 50+ and their days hitting the night clubs are probably long gone.

but the job does have its plusses. (not sure thats a real word)

its a multi-national company, so experience working in a company like this is bound to be recognized.

the benefits here are awesome, as barney would say it. (stinson, not the dinosaur.)

i'm learning something thats extremely useful, something i always thought was beneficial should i get the chance to learn, and so here i am.

the people are generally friendly, i'm trying my best to try and fit in this very friendly environment, so that should improve my people skills.

(yeah, when you think about it, "i prefer to work with machines rather than with people" isn't exactly something a friendly person would say, so i guess i'm not that friendly.)

but it does have its low points.

as explained before, unusual hours, work on weekends (though it comes with "allowance"), not so high salary (as compared to other people with my qualifications), long learning period (still learning how to do my work) and lastly, huge responsibility.

(if the factory stops, chances are i'll be one of the people blamed. lol)

but i complain too much.

sure some people might get better pay, don't have to work on weekend's, all that stuff, but there are still some people that are still worse off than me, working under the hot sun all day and getting lower pay than me.

(i instead work in a small room with a huge air-conditioner, that sometimes makes me wonder if they're purposely trying to freeze me to death, or probably train me to get acclimated with Hanover weather.)

so here i am, trying to hold on, trying to make myself enjoy this thing that i'm doing.

you need to work to continue living.

i did not realize that before.

College Yasin - extinct.

Factory Worker Yasin - alive and well.

hey, after all its only been 2 months. first step is always the hardest.

guy teaching me has experience of 42 years in this place. so this place can't be that bad.

though i have seen people missing an arm walking around.

gulps.

fyi, i still have mine though. both of them. (much emphasis on still) lol.

oh another downside, only guys factory, very few girls. fail.

i think i can count the number of girls i see in the factory with my fingers.

(coz i still have my 10 fingers)

gulps.

ignoring the fact that this would be a very good time to consider switching from hetero to homo, learning new stuff is hard. which is why i'm sometimes down.

coz i'm required to learn stuff from scratch.

according to my boss, my colleagues, being in their 50s, "have reached their hard disk capacity, and cannot absorb any more data. theirs is a 512MB hard disk, almost full, and mine is an empty 1GB hard disk"

though he's not very up to date with computer technology (coz we now have 1 terabyte (1000 GB) HDs and 1GB memory card is about as big as my little pinkie fingernail), he's an Excel-wiz and he's a real nice guy.

ok enuf bout work, lets talk bout something else.

.

.

.

nice weather we're having nowadays huh?

peace, take care.

bulan bahasa kebangsaan

2010-10-24T12:04:00.002+08:00

sempena bulan bahasa kebangsaan ini iaitu oktober, saya mengambil keputusan untuk menulis dalam bahasa Melayu untuk menunjukkan kebanggaan saya terhadap bahasa kebangsaan kita dan juga untuk membuktikan saya bukanlah seekor raksasa kuning atau jingga bermata empat yang tak pandai berbahasa Melayu.

sebenarnya, saya memang pandai berbahasa Melayu sejak dari kecil lagi. seingat saya, daripada lahir lagi saya telah fasih berbahasa Melayu, kerana tidak pula saya ingat sesiapa mengajar saya Bahasa Melayu, yang saya ingat saya sudah pun bercakap dalam bahasa Melayu.

jika orang lain pergi ke sekolah untuk belajar matapelajaran Bahasa Melayu, saya pula sudah fasih berbahasa Melayu, maka saya pun kurang pasti apa yang saya belajar ketika saya di sekolah dahulu. tidak hairanlah apabila saya dipilih mewakili kelas untuk membaca sebuah buku cerita bahasa Melayu ketika hari penyampaian hadiah. namun, sebab saya dipilih mungkin juga disebabkan saya seorang sahaja yang boleh membaca ketika itu, kerana ketika itu saya masih di bangku tadika, dan kanak-kanak lain mungkin lebih sibuk bermain dengan plastisin daripada membaca.

walaupun saya fasih berbahasa Melayu, perbendaharaan kata saya ketika saya masih kecil tidaklah sekaya sekarang ini. maka apabila buku cerita itu mengisahkan tentang seekor ikan haruan, saya pun telah tersalah sebut nama ikan tersebut, daripada sebutan "haruwan" menjadi "haru-an". saya kira pasti ikan tersebut sedikit tersinggung dengan saya.

namun begitu, ianya bukanlah seratus peratus kesalahan saya. tidak pula saya diajar oleh ibu bapa saya mahupun guru-guru tentang nama-nama ikan di Tanah Melayu ini. ia juga mungkin disebabkan saya lebih gemar menjadikan ayam sebagai lauk daripada ikan. oleh sebab itu juga, saya mengetahui banyak nama-nama ayam sejak dari kecil lagi. antaranya termasuklah ayam goreng, ayam golek, ayam percik dan juga ayam KFC. ikan saya tahu ikan haruan sahaja.

selain daripada bahasa Melayu, saya juga boleh berbahasa Inggeris sejak dari kecil lagi, namun tidaklah sehebat saya berbahasa Melayu. mungkin ketika itu saya masih belum yakin atau cukup perbendaharaan kata saya untuk berbahasa Inggeris, tetapi saya tetap faham apabila sesorang bercakap dalam bahasa Inggeris. ini mungkin disebabkan oleh bapa dan ibu saya yang sesekali sesekala bertutur dalam bahasa Inggeris, mungkin juga disebabkan oleh kartun-kartun yang saya tonton ketika itu kesemuanya berbahasa Inggeris. mungkin juga kerana datuk saya sebenarnya seorang askar British, yang telah jatuh cinta dengan seorang gadis tempatan iaitu nenek saya.

tetapi sebab yang terakhir itu tidak mungkin kerana itu hanyalah rekaan semata-mata, datuk saya Melayu tulen.

di sekolah, saya belajar bahawa bahasa Inggeris bukanlah hanya digunakan di dalam kartun semata-mata, sebaliknya ianya merupakan bahasa perantaraan seluruh dunia. maka saya pun belajarlah bersungguh-sungguh bahasa asing ini, sehinggalah keputusan SPM Bahasa Inggeris saya lebih baik daripada keputusan Bahasa Melayu saya. tak apalah, bisik hati kecil saya, asalkan fasih kedua-duanya, tak kisah lah yang mana satu a1 dan mana satu a2.

hanya apabila saya sampai ke menara gading barulah saya sedar akan "kepentingan" bahasa Inggeris ini. semua orang ingin berbahasa Inggeris, semua orang bercakap dalam bahasa Inggeris, sehinggakan Melayu sesama Melayu sekalipun berbahasa Inggeris. walaupun kebanyakan daripada mereka tidaklah mahir dengan hukum hakam tatabahasa Inggeris, mereka tetap ingin bertutur dalam bahasa Inggeris. ada juga Melayu yang lebih fasih berbahasa Inggeris berbanding Melayu.

hakikatnya, walaupun sudah sekian lama kita merdeka, namun fikiran kita masih dijajah oleh bangsa luar. kita orang Melayu masih mengagung-agungkan bahasa Inggeris, kita mendabik dada merasa bangga apabila kita fasih berbahasa Inggeris, dan memandang rendah terhadap mereka yang kurang fasih. kadangkala kita bercakap dalam Bahasa Inggeris bukan kerana kita selesa bercakap dalam bahasa itu, sebaliknya kerana kita ingin menunjuk-nunjuk kebolehan kita berbahasa Inggeris.

saya akui, saya juga kerap sekali menggunakan bahasa Inggeris, tetapi bukanlah niat saya untuk menunjuk-nunjuk ataupun teringin menjadi mat salleh, sebaliknya hanyalah kerana saya selesa berbahasa Inggeris dan suka saya menggunakan bahasa itu apabila sesuai keadaannya. kadang kala saya melihat orang berbahasa Inggeris tunggang terbalik dan dirojakkan pula, ternyata mereka tidak selesa bercakap dalam bahasa itu, sebaliknya hanya ingin kelihatan sejuk (cool).

(tetapi mungkin juga orang itu dalam proses pembelajaran, sekiranya ya maka sayalah yang salah dan sayalah juga yang lemah kerana memandang serong terhadap seseorang, wallahualam)

hakikatnya bahasa Inggeris itu hanyalah satu bahasa asing, tiada apa hebatnya jika dibandingkan dengan bahasa kita sendiri, cumanya penggunaannya meluas di seluruh pelusuk dunia. kira-kira 500 tahun dahulu, bahasa kita juga berada di bibir setiap pedagang-pedagang yang berlabuh dan berjual beli di pelabuhan Melaka, namun firasat saya mengatakan mereka tidak pula merasakan ianya sejuk untuk berbahasa Melayu, sebaliknya hanyalah menggunakan bahasa kita sebagai alat yang penting dalam pekerjaan mereka.

tetapi tidaklah pula saya tahu sekiranya anak-anak pedagang ini bercakap dalam bahasa Melayu berojakkan Portugis contohnya kerana mereka terlalu mengagungkan kaum Melayu dan ingin menjadi Melayu celup.

haruslah kita berbangga dengan bahasa kita sendiri, kerana jika bukan kita, siapa lagi. janganlah kita sekadar menceduk perkataan Inggeris dan menggunakannya dalam bahasa kita yang indah ini walhal perkataan itu telah pun wujud dari dahulu lagi dalam perbendaharaan kata bahasa kita. contohnya tidak perlulah kita menggunakan perkataan diskusi, sedangkan dari dahulu lagi perkataan perbincangan itu telahpun wujud. tidak perlulah kita menggunakan perkataan bajet, sedangkan tiada kurangnya perkataan belanjawan itu. oh ye, saya juga tidak suka perkataan laman sesawang. tak sedap langsung bunyi nya.

tetapi kita tidak boleh juga menjadikan sayang kita kepada bahasa Melayu alasan untuk tidak fasih dalam bahasa Inggeris. sepertimana pedagang-pedagang asing dahulu mempelajari bahasa Melayu untuk berdagang jualan masing-masing, begitu juga perlunya kita mahir dalam bahasa antarabangsa zaman ini untuk memastikan kita tidaklah ketinggalan di belakang, duduk di bawah tempurung seperti seekor katak yang terperangkap. kita haruslah melompat keluar dari tempurung itu, dan melompat pula ke kelas bahasa inggeris jika perlu. sebenarnya kalau diikutkan, 11 tahun persekolahan sudah cukup untuk kita mahir berbahasa Inggeris walaupun dari mulanya kita tidak tahu langsung bahasa Inggeris, pasal kalau difikirkan lagi, umur kita setahun dua pun kita sudah pandai berbahasa Melayu.

tetapi tak apalah, yang pentingnya keinginan untuk belajar dan memperkasakan diri sendiri. itu sajalah bebelan saya untuk kali ini, sekadar ingin menunjukkan perasaan sayang dan bangga saya terhadap bahasa ibunda.

salam hormat, salam mesra.

:)

imagine

2010-10-23T00:38:00.002+08:00

imagine in front of you is a pile of cash worth a gazillion ringgit, and its all yours.

(no i did not win the lottery, nor is my salary that high... zz.)

so you start to think, hmm.. what should i do with all this money?

should i go out and buy me some brand new clothes? should i go out and eat at fancy shmancy restaurants instead? or maybe travel someplace interesting? or maybe just buy a nice PC and spend time indoors... lol.

so you go out and buy all these branded new clothes, shop until your feet are all wobbly. but when you get home, you try out all the clothes and you think, sure the clothes are nice, but its so tiring to go and shop, plus when i think about it, its not exactly the best way to spend my money.

so next, you go out and have super nice meals at these super expensive outlets, where they would actually help you to chew the food and all (exaggeration), and when you get home, you feel like, sure the food is awesome, but really, is it really worth it to pay so much money to eat good food? after all, good food or no, you still fill up your stomach, and to most thats what matters..

so after still feeling unsatisfied, you go on this tour group which takes you to the most exciting of places in the world, and yet, when you're there, the only thing you can think of is, "theres no place like home".

so imagine, when you're back home, although enjoying the trip around the world, can't help but feel tired and discontent. and suddenly you remembered, oh crap, i still have one more thing to do on my list, but i've run out of cash to buy that PC i wanted.

so with what little money you have left, you decide to go into a cyber cafe and use the computer for a short while. and what you found out was that, this is what makes you happy. even though you're just sitting in front of a stinking computer, all alone amongst people you don't really know, you're really enjoying yourself.

but sucks for you, you've used up all your money.

again, this is all very hypothetical, i did not find my life's true calling in front of a desktop in a cyber cafe, thank God.

now imagine its not a pile of money that you were looking at.

yea its not, sorry gold diggers.

instead, imagine its your future.

imagine you have your whole life ahead of you, and you're wondering, hmm, what should i do with my life?

should i do this? or should i do that?

if i decide to do this, what if i find out later that this is not what i wanted to do, and i find out that the other thing was what i wanted to do?

wouldn't that part of life be a waste?

and worse, what if i tried everything i ever wanted to try out and do, and only at the end, did i realize my true calling was something else.

and by then it would be too late to do much.

example, if i had known i was going to take up chemical engineering, i probably would have focused my studies at school more on physics and mathematics, rather than waste time studying biology.

Steve Jobs said that its impossible to connect the dots looking forward, you can only do it looking backwards.

Lucky for him, when he looked backwards, the dots were actually connectable.

some people aren't so lucky.

just thinking out loud on this one.

peace.

old friend.

2010-10-02T23:58:00.002+08:00

hello there dear friend of 3 and a half years, roughly. sorry for neglecting you all this while. i've been busy.

you really have been there for me, listening to all my rants and rambles, so thank you for that. i tell you almost everything, though some things are best left unsaid.

i've been working for two weeks now at this tyre factory. the smell isn't as bad as i thought it would be. my colleagues are as old as my father, if not older, so im finding it a bit hard to fit in, but i'll manage eventually.

i wake up at 4 30 each morning, because i need to be at work at 6 am. yes, i know, its unbelievable, i can hardly believe it myself. i leave for work before subuh. its not easy, thats for sure. my bed time is now 10 30 - 11 30 pm, instead of after subuh. its amazing what humans are capable of, once they set their mind to it.

work so far has been mostly simple so far. although i come in early, i have plenty of free time, so i spend it by trying not to fall asleep and pretending to look busy. but i have learnt a lot i think, and my supervisor is going to be on leave this coming Monday, so i'll be on my own. wish me luck.

i live in seri kembangan, but i work in petaling jaya. its a bit far, i'll admit, kinda like going from puncak meru to temiang. but i decided not to move closer to work.

why? sure it'll be closer to work, but i'll be staying all alone, and thats no fun. at least in seri kembangan im with my cousin, there'll be company, and i know he and his current roommate can be trusted, so i feel safe.

i'm nowadays more or less disconnected with the online world. the house im staying in doesn't have an internet connection, plus i'm so tired when i get home, i don't really feel like going to a cyber cafe just to login to facebook / twitter and bug people.

but i realize i don't really need those stuff to live. sure, i don't communicate as much with my friends, but is it really necessary to tell my friends what i'm doing all the time 24 hours a day 7 days a week?

plus if you are really good friends, like you and i, doesn't matter if we don't talk for awhile, as soon as we meet up, its as if we were never apart.

my convocation is coming up in 2 weeks time. hope you'll come, although i know you can't. its exciting, to truly graduate from the university, and to meet up with friends you haven't met for 3 months, but when you were studying you can't seem to not bump into these people.

but its also a bit of a bother. i have to go back to ipoh every weekend now, to settle convo related stuff. plus truth be told, the excitement is slightly gone because i've started working. the mind is already somewhere else, worrying how you'll perform at work.

whereas the convocation ceremony is just for show, go or don't go, you still graduate.

but that doesn't mean i don't want to go. :)

truth be told, i don't know what my life is going to be like in these coming months. so far, all i do is go to work, come back from work, short nap, eat sleep, wake up and go to work again. i think im slowly turning into a drone.

and the honest truth is that, i can't imagine what life is going to be like after this, and the thought scares me. or maybe its because i do have an idea of what its going to be like, and that makes me afraid.

i can't tell. only way to find out is to see things through. again, wish me luck old friend.

i saw on tv the other day, that if you travel really fast, and you approach the speed of light, time actually slows down for you. also, according to the formula e=mc2, if you approach the speed of light, not only will time slow down for you, if you try to go faster, your mass will increase.

so in simpler words, go really fast and you'll outrun time, but you'll get fatter. lol.

i have no idea how this is relevant to what i'm telling you, but i thought it was something interesting to share.

i've run out of words dear friend. i'll leave you with an interesting quote by the world's most famous scientist. its not hard to see why he's so famous, since he's able to explain super complex things in simple terms.

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

aspire to be as brilliant as he is, and one day maybe we will be. we may not be as smart as he is, but maybe we are emotionally sound, or spiritually peaceful as he is intellectually smart.

life is full of surprises. take care old friend.

peace.

1000 words or more.

2010-09-03T00:39:00.010+08:00

friendship

family

pets

nostalgia

beautiful skies

beautiful landscape

loneliness

company

adorable-ness
(mati aku kalau dia tau aku upload gmbr ni)

cute-ness.

and last but not least.

yasin-ness.

peace.

Jangan ketawa.

2010-08-31T12:39:00.003+08:00

Something less serious to lighten the mood of the blog. =)

Perfect Love

2010-08-25T23:25:00.001+08:00

While randomly surfing the net for stuff to read, I stumbled upon a very interesting article on our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. In general it was about how he treats his wives with kindness and compassion, but what really caught my interest was this particular part that was trying to show how our Prophet loved his first wife Khadijah.

I would say that most of us know the story, how he loved her so much that when she passed away, the year was known as "Tahun Kesedihan" because of how much he grieved. But how sad was he, how much did he really love her, we can only imagine.

I think this article helps us imagine it better.

(Its in Bahasa Melayu, so hopefully you guys understand. XP)

Cinta kasih Nabi terhadap Khadijah tergambar dalam riwayat berikut ini: Setelah Khadijah meninggal dunia, Rasulullah menikah dengan Aisyah. Suatu hari Rasulullah sedang berada di depan rumah. Tiba-tiba Rasulullah meninggalkan Aisyah menuju kepada seorang perempuan. Rasulullah memanggilnya dan menyuruh perempuan itu duduk di hadapan-nya kemudian mengajaknya berbicara.

Aisyah bertanya, “Siapakah perempuan tua ini?” Rasulullah menjawab, “Inilah sahabat Khadijah dulu.” Lalu Aisyah berkata, “Engkau sebut-sebut juga Khadijah padahal Allah telah menggantikannya dengan isteri yang lebih baik.”

Ketika itu marahlah Nabi sampai bergoncang rambut di atas kepalanya. Lalu beliau berkata, “Demi Allah, tidak ada yang dapat menggantikan Khadijah. Dialah yang memberikan kepadaku kebahagiaan ketika orang menghinaku. Dialah yang menghiburku dalam penderitaan ketika semua orang membenciku. Dialah yang memberikan seluruh hartanya kepadaku ketika semua orang menahan pemberiannya. Dan dialah yang menganugerahkan kepadaku anak ketika isteri-isteri yang lain tidak memberikannya. ” Mendengar itu Aisyah tidak dapat memberikan jawaban. Hadis ini diriwayatkan dalam Shahih Bukhari dan Muslim.

I dunno bout you guys, but i felt sad the first time i read it. It shows a more human side of him. The sadness of losing a loved one. Despite him being the greatest human being ever created and ever WILL be created, we sometimes forget the most fundamental thing about him; he is still only human.

I think in a way this allows us to try and be more like him. To try and follow in his footsteps, because it reminds us that we can try to be more like him, although maybe not to the level he is, of course.

Another thing I felt was how deep his love was for his wife. The wordings in the article may not be exactly what he said, after all, I only Googled, not exactly the most trustworthy research tool, but look at how carefully constructed the sentences are. He remembers and states why he loves her so.

See, people often assume that the opposite of love is hate. But I think the correct opposite would be indifference (lack of interest, concern or sympathy). This requires some explanation.

Let's say you're in love with someone. He or she then does something that breaks your heart, so because of that you hate that person. But where does that hate come from? Aha. Being betrayed by the one you love. So basically you hate that you love him/her so much. Its kinda like that song with ne-yo and rihanna, hate that i love you.

Whereas indifference means you don't really give a crap what that person does. THAT means you don't have any feelings whatsoever towards that person. Which I think is the proper opposite.

I hope people understand when they read this, coz if not, that was a waste of my 5 minutes. lol.

Anyways, the point I was trying to stress on doesn't have anything to do with hate, it was that he remembers her very clearly, he misses her for very detailed reasons. I'd like to think that when you love someone and you cherish her, you remember even the tiniest details about her, what you like about her.

I think love stories and movies always incorporate this into the storyline. "I love the way your hair smells in the morning, I love the way you smile when you look at me, almost like there isn't enough space on your face.." Lol. Yea, that sort of stuff.

So in my opinion he was an affectionate person, a romantic. Key point here is "with his wife". Some people just spout out these words without a moment of hesitation, sometimes even without feeling, just to get what they want, or in some cases, the girl they want. he he. and of course most girls fall head over heels with these very fancy, lovely words.

Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to mean what I say, and lets face it, if you've only known this girl for like 2 weeks, no way in hell will you "climb the highest mountains and swim an ocean of fire" for her. LOL. I seriously doubt it. But perhaps, later in the relationship, maybe when things are more serious, or maybe when you're married, you say these sort of things and it won't sound so far-fetched.

But then again I'm old-fashioned, what do I know. Being single, not exactly the expert, am I? lol. A close female friend of mine even started calling me her "GBF" nowadays. GBF stands for "Gay Best Friend". wtf. zzz. haha. (though i may have introduced the word to her. me and my big mouth.)

Anyways, thats all I wanted to say. I think there are plenty of opportunities to learn and improve ourselves, even in the most unexpected ways, especially so if we have the best human being in the world as our role model. And what better time to do so than in the month of Ramadhan.

I leave you all with the only song in my playlist at the moment (for quite some time now.) I have this habit of listening to the same song over and over again until i'm bored with it. Mostly cause I'm lazy to actually list down the songs I like, but partly because its a nice song, and a nice song should remain nice to your senses even after repeated listens. Don't you agree?

Take care. Peace.

:)

3 in a row.

2010-08-22T01:01:00.004+08:00

first one was one with a HR company.

they interview on behalf of another company.

overall performance : quite good. received positive response.

lessons learnt

always show off your communications skill, big plus.
always read up and show effort and interest. also a plus, and in some cases, VITAL.
fresh grads can't really ask for much

second one was with a chemical engineering consultant company.

overall performance : bad. very bad.

lessons learnt

older more experienced people have very high expectations. everest high sometimes.
when interviewing for technical position, be damn sure you have appropriate technical knowledge!
everything happens for a reason, so if things don't go your way, learn from mistakes and accept that its for the best.
never bulls**t bout stuff unless you're POSITIVE interviewer doesn't know. epic rofl.
einstein's theory of relativity is true, 5 minutes does feel like an hour under right conditions
people sometimes blame you for the stupidest of things. smart people are sometimes jerks.

third one was with tyre company.

overall performance : okay. :)

lessons learnt

Jobstreet sometimes sends you alerts for jobs that require years of experience when you're a fresh graduate. -_-""
even so, don't give up and try anyway. The Big Guy up above works in very mysterious ways.
asking questions about job shows interest.
making stuff up as you go is okay if it makes sense.

unrelated note to interviews

meeting up with friends is always fun.
going out from 8 am to 11 pm on ramadhan may not be good for your well-being.
being friendly sometimes leads to unexpected discoveries.
Masjid besi in Putrajaya is so big you could probably play football inside.
chemical engineers in malaysia are probably separated by only 3 degree separation. (i.e : friend of a friend of a friend = all the chemical engineers in malaysia)
RM 50 worth of petrol is roughly half a tank for a Persona.
There is no such thing as a "pressure pump." epic fail.
There is a fine line between fun sarcasm and mean sarcasm.
Huge karipap at Murni is called "Roti Dragon", not roti dinosaur or roti monster. lol.

Honey dew is definitely the best drink there.
Some people have auras that cause other people to self-bahan. epic rofl.
Setiap orang ada rezeki tersendiri.
OU cinema seats are really comfortable. caution : may induce involuntary sleeping.
Repoman is a nice movie. :)
green = go, yellow = go faster, red = go really2 fast in KL.
Girls instantaneously generate limitless amount of energy when the words "sale" or "discount" are plastered on clothing shop windows, EVEN when complaining of tiredness mere seconds earlier.
dictionary, thesaurus and "dinosaurus" are types of books. super epic LOL.
making fun of other people is fun, but you have to accept being made fun of also. (refer to kelab menembak rule no 1)
using point forms makes for shorter posts and message still gets across.

and the last one

shopping for interview clothes is tough, so when in doubt, send an MMS to mak. epic rofl.

fyi, pic was taken way before i went to interview, so no i did not went to the interview looking like a hippie.

till next time.

peace. :)

welcome to my world.

2010-08-16T03:16:00.000+08:00

again, very short post.

just wanted to let you guys in on what i was doing last week.

i just love the life-like animations that blizzard makes. i've loved it ever since i was a boy, even now as a slightly older boy, i still love it.

...

sometimes you just have to let the inner geekazoid loose.

peace.

breaking the silence

2010-08-13T18:15:00.003+08:00

hello.

happy ramadhan everyone.

do your best to be the best, especially so in this month.

a good motivational video i think.

peace.

p/s : peace is salam in english.

things i'll never say 2

2010-08-03T05:32:00.000+08:00

its funny how some people are so similar in so many ways, yet have very different lives.

my friend A (from here) is back in UTP now, coz he's doing some research for his supervisor. i kinda went back to UTP last week coz i wanted to get my final transcript. for job hunting purposes. which i have failed to hunt down... for two months now...

but thats besides the point.

seeing as how UTP is in the middle of nowhere, and he really doesn't have anyone else to hang out with, i stayed there a bit longer. not like i'm doing anything anyways.

so we chatted and reminisced about the good ol' times we had here, updated ourselves with job status of other friends, and of course, relationship status.

some got engaged, some couples broke up ,some are working, and some have just simply disappeared from the face of the earth. usual stuff.

which is when he suddenly remembered about B, the girl we talked about in class. he tells me that this girl broke up with the new bf not long after that, and funny thing, wanted to get back with that guy shortly after the break up. -_-"

pfft. crazy girl.

we are so similar, him and me. yet we have very different lives.

so i asked him, any new stories, him always being the guy with the interesting story to tell and all.

he smiled a smile that would've made the joker proud. lol.

he then went on to talk about another girl, lets call her C then, since A and B have been taken up. from what i understand, C is this long-time close friend of his, they go out every once in a while, chat every now and then, quite close i would say.

so when C wanted to go out this one time, he thought nothing of it. it was a typical outing. always nice to meet up with a friend.

".. but at the end of it, when we were saying our goodbyes, i sensed something... different. i kinda got the vibe that she was like into me or something", said A with his serious face on.

"pfft, blah la ko, bajet la...", was what i said, while acting like i wanted to leave the table. lol.

"lah, betul la, ko xpernah rasa macam tu ke." A said with a slightly angered look on now.

i can't honestly say that i haven't, so i said "fine2, what happened next".

he kept quiet and looked for signs. obviously he wasn't gonna go confront the girl based on some gut feeling he had. and yes, there were signs. again he ignored them, thinking he could've misinterpreted them. i mean, who knows what girls have in their brains. lol.

but that was before the girl confronted him. epic.

if anything, A is one hell of a story teller, i think. building up suspense like that. i was literally and figuratively on the edge of my seat. lol.

but i digress.

moving on, C confirmed what A was afraid of, for some reason she fell for him. she says its probably a phase.

but it got a wee bit too uncomfortable for A. not that he didn't like her, just not in that way. they've been friends for so long, and suddenly this, felt weird he said.

he thinks its probably because they talk all the time. so he thought it would be a good idea for them to take a break. not talk to each other for a bit. she didn't want to "take a break", but agreed to do so anyways.

in the so-called break that they were having, she emailed him once saying sorry she made him feel uncomfortable, and told him to "take your time".

and so he did.

it was only later did A find out that their definition of "time" are two completely different things. he was thinking maybe days, if not weeks.

for her it was probably hours, if not minutes.

roughly one week after the confrontation, A says he got a few texts from C. desperate-sounding texts. "VERY desperate-sounding", he said, over-emphasising the word VERY.

(fyi, i read the texts. VERY.)

it was just one week, and this girl seemed desperate to "get back together". obviously not the reaction he was looking for. definitely not ready to end the break. so he blew her off.

another thing i know about A is that altho he's a nice guy in a general, if he is pissed or annoyed, no more mr nice guy. so he might have been a bit harsh on the girl.

of course he didn't tell me what he said, but i kinda guessed, us practically living together for 4 years.

in the end i think she got tired and gave up. not just gave up "getting back together", gave up on their friendship altogether.

".. the friendship we had just isn't worth it anymore. so just forget whatever. so long."

clearly A didn't want things with C to end that way. he had the best of intentions, taking a break to preserve the friendship, trying to not make it awkward. for him mostly, because she didn't seem to have any problems with it.

but, as we know, things don't always turn out the way you want it to.

"ah, no matter," said A, finishing up his story, "she was kinda annoying me anyways, pestering me all the time. don't think it would've worked out either way".

again, its so funny how some people are so similar in so many ways, yet lead very different lives. personally, i think i would've done the exact same thing he did, but so far my life is just about as exciting as watching fungi grow on a dead tree stump.

i asked A what if another week she texts him again, asking to put things in the past or what, and he said, "i think i'll just forward back her own text to her, i'm sure its self-explanatory, after all she wrote it".

bloody sarcastic bugger, this guy. lol.

i guess in the end, no matter who we are, what we do, what we're like, we make do with what we have, and try to make it work.

or not.

have it your way. :)

peace.

the day

2010-07-27T00:11:00.004+08:00

today would have been the day.

but its not anymore.

i'd like to think i made the right, the best choice.

my brother came back home for his holidays, so i'm not entirely bored.

i went jogging today, which is a miracle on its own.

however, an even bigger miracle is that i did not die jogging.

i really do have low / bad stamina. at the end of the jog, i'd be thinking "will i make it home? will i die? why in the hells did i do this?"

but i have never actually died from jogging. or passed out. thank God.

but i did vomit a couple of times. lol.

i always thought that i'm skinny enough as it is, why should i go for a jog?

but i think it has more to do with your health, rather than with what you look like.

sure, byproducts of jogging include looking good physically, but its main purpose is to exercise your heart etc.

anyways, i shall try to go and jog again tomorrow. wish me luck.

sometimes i feel that my quality of writing has gone down. maybe i'm too reader-oriented now.

but that would make no sense. being reader-oriented should theoretically improve my writing quality.

it probably has nothing to do with that, probably has more to do with me having no material to write about.

oh, i had two Inception-like dreams recently. for some reason.

(to whomever it is, if you haven't watched it yet, you should! arguably best movie of the year, avatar can suck it. lol)

in one dream, i realized that it was a dream and the dream started to slant a little bit, kinda like that seen where everything is slanted.

in the more recent dream, it was a dream inside a dream. i won't bore you with the details.

sure i liked the movie, but i didn't think my subconcious would like it THAT much.

the last time I was this into something was when I was into the anime series Claymore.

I was hanging my clothes to dry (in the middle of the night, wth rite, but im nocturnal, so bear with me), when I could've sworn I heard Claire's voice. fyi, claire is the protagonist of the cartoon (not sure how you spell heroine.)

yea most people would've been scared hearing a girl's voice in the middle of the night, but i was kinda excited and started looking everywhere.

but no, i did not find the girl.

if i did, you'd probably be reading this blog to read up on my demon-killing adventures with Claire, the super hot ridiculously exposed vampire killing babe.

anyways, tomorrow i am going to watch Despicable Me 3D (again) with my brother. no, he hasn't watched it yet, so i'm escorting him.

wouldn't it be cool to be a super villain? you could do whatever the hell you wanted, you'd be super rich, you don't have to care about what people think, etc2.

but at the end of days, you'd probably end up in hell, so, big disadvantage there.

oh well, life is full of choices. and each choice has its own pros and cons.

up to us to choose the best.

and if its not the best, learn from it, and learn to live with it.

last but not least, today is nisfu syaaban, the day where our "records" of good and bad are taken up and a new "record book" is opened.

as they say in malay, kosong-kosong la eh.

and all the best filling up the new book.

take care. peace.

funny words.

2010-07-20T01:40:00.004+08:00

its funny how words can affect us.

or sometimes even the lack of words.

like that smile from a complete stranger i got on the train the other day.

no, it wasn't from a pretty girl or anything, just a smile from another guy that i helped find a seat.

i must admit, i'm not the nicest of people.

there are some things i said that i regret till today.

terlajak perahu boleh berundur, terlajak kata something something, as the saying goes.

and i guess there are some things i regret not saying. or regret not being able to say.

like how much i love my parents, my family in general.

its funny sometimes how the things you want to say the most, are the hardest to say.

i'm sorry.

i love you.

i took 10 ringgit from your wallet while you were sleeping. lol

words are powerful tools. they can get a dying patient in an upbeat mood, and they can crush a vicious conquering army's will to fight.

yet with all that power, it has a thing for disappearing when you need it the most.

like... now...

....

i think its important that you say what you mean, and mean what you say.

and try not to say something mean.

get what i mean?

but i guess there are times when you have to say things you don't really mean, i.e lie.

and sometimes we lie for the best of reasons. white lies.

but its funny how hard it is for us to lie convincingly, even for the noblest of causes.

i mean, really, how hard is it.

I was born on Mars five minutes ago, after which I descended from the heavens by a golden escalator down to earth.

to write a blog post.

yea im guessing its easier to write and lie, rather than to speak and lie.

ah what am i saying. im at a loss of words right now.

funny how we need them so much.

guess we should be grateful.

peace.

p/s : some words are just funny though. periculum. haha.

Yeay!

2010-07-16T02:01:00.001+08:00

Officially a graduate!

Yeay!

Shortest post ever.

peace.

plans part 2.

2010-07-14T23:09:00.003+08:00

didn't work out. what i planned didn't work out.

i'd be lying if i said i didn't care, i tried so many times to make it work but it just doesn't seem to happen.

pretty bummed out. sigh.

there's always something in the way.

most of the time, that something in the way is something quite significant.

its important to have the right priorities in life.

oh well. if its meant to be, i think it would happen even without any effort whatsoever.

so i guess i'll just stop trying so hard. and be my usual self, and not try at all.

haha.

Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just... do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.

guess who said that quote.

peace.

p/s: congrats to khai b for making her posts comment-able again. :)

Plans.

2010-07-12T22:52:00.003+08:00

the only thing predictable in life, is that it is unpredictable.

regardless of how many times that octopus got it right, its still unpredictable.

sometimes when we expect something to happen, it doesn't.

so when it doesn't, we plan for something else.

and when we have already planned for something else, when you least expect it, it happens.

so now you're stuck between the two.

we'll just wait and see until it is really confirmed.

its just so frustrating sometimes. when things don't go according to plan.

but thats life, i think. we may have our plans, but in the end, its all His plan.

when i was small, i wanted to be a pilot, for some reason i'm not really sure. and then one day my father said to me "i'm sure you'll change your mind someday.".

and he was right. as always. its annoying how older people are always right sometimes. but they've earned their right i guess. haha.

at some point in my school life, i wanted to be a scientist. due to the influence of dexter's laboratory. i even have my own secret lab, in which i stored all my dragon ball comic books.

okay it was probably more of a library than a laboratory, but who cares right.

but despite all that, in those forms where you have to write down your amibition, i still wrote down pilot.

i really don't know what got that pilot idea in my head.

maybe it was coz of the fact that when i was a little boy, my family stayed very near to the airport. and whenever i couldn't sleep at night, my parents would take me in our family's old mazda car to this spot where we could see all the airplanes take off and land.

i remember i used to like that very much. maybe that was it.

anyways, when i was in secondary school, i kinda lost interest in being a pilot, for some reason. i guess i was just like any teen, simply drifting through their years, with no specific target in mind.

so when my mother started pestering me on what to do after i finished schools, that was when i started to think. and plan.

i was pretty sure by this point that i didn't want to do medicine. mostly because i knew i couldn't be a hardworking enough person to study the names of all the diseases and bones and tendons and chemicals and bla3..

i knew i liked physics. not exactly because of physics itself, but mostly because for physics, you only have to understand the concepts and remember the formulas, and you're good to go. haha.

at first i used to hate my chemistry teacher at school, cause he was pretty mean to me the first few weeks i met him. but in the end i really liked him (in a very manly way) and i really liked the subject.

so long story short, physics + chemistry = chemical engineering. that was the plan. that STILL is the plan.

to say that being a pilot wasn't realistic would be wrong. an old friend of mine is a pilot nowadays.

sometimes things go the way you planned it. some times it doesn't.

i didn't plan to meet so many wonderful people in my life.

i didn't plan to meet so many unlikeable characters in my life.

i didn't know if i was going to be able to get this far, yet at the same time i didn't know for some things this was as far as i could go.

but stuff happened anyways.

He had it all planned out.

The only thing to do now is to sit and wait, and watch His plan unfold.

That's the plan, anyways.

peace.

something is wrong.

2010-07-06T18:55:00.002+08:00

so weird, can't comment on my own blog.

and, thought it through more carefully, i'm not going through with it.

pfft.

i'm just not adventurous enough.

all talk, which makes me very philosophical i guess.

plus, i didn't know sagittarians were philosophical too.

or maybe im just crazy. bosan sampai giler.. haha nice one.

Ramblings of a madman

2010-07-06T02:28:00.002+08:00

Whatever you do in life is insignificant, but it's very important that you do it.

We hate to admit it, try as we might to deny it, its true.

Whatever you do, no matter how monumental it is, with time, it will be forgotten.

Or even if it isn't, eventually you will leave this earth, and so what you do won't really matter.

Well, not to you anyways.

However, the key thing here is to do it anyways.

For example, in a million years from now it would not matter if i used proper grammar, but it is important that i use it anyways.

Important to me, important to you, and important to who knows who else.

For even the most insignificant of things, plays an important part in life.

Like how the smallest of viruses can cause an entire country to start wearing face masks.

I'd like to think that everything happens for a reason.

As Einstein once said, "I, at any rate, am convinced that He does not throw dice".

Or in other words, God does not create things, or make things happen, randomly. There is always a purpose, a reason for everything.

Imagine what would happen if clouds form on the ground instead of up in the air.

You'd have clouds on the ground, and there would be a huge risk of getting electrocuted due to lightning every where you walk.

There's probably a reason why you woke up late today. Maybe its so that you won't wake up late tomorrow.

Imagine what would happen to the world if Sir Isaac Newton didn't rest under an apple tree, but under a durian tree.

He'd probably still discover gravity, only he wouldn't be alive to tell the tale.

There are so many things happening in this world, we couldn't possibly imagine why anything happens anyways.

We just assume things happen. and we get on with our lives.

Some lives move faster, and some slower.

I just found out recently a classmate from school just gave birth to her first child.

I on the other hand am still negotiating with my mother on whether it really is necessary for me to iron my clothes since its not really required for me to be neat to stay at home and eat and sleep.

Different lives move at different paces, and different people are faced with different responsibilities.

Some are huge, some are considerably smaller.

With these responsibilities, we forget that we lose something in the process, freedom.

At least some of it.

As a child we are not responsible for anything, thus have the freedom to do almost anything, as long as the parents don't mind.

As a parent however, we are bound by responsibility, and are not as free to do whatever we wish to.

I'm guessing the same can be applied to relationships.

We are bound to the other person, which does not allow us to go out with anyone we like, for reasons that are unclear.

Or in other words, I can't go out with a friend anymore. LOL.

As if I wasn't bored enough before.

Ah, such is the way of life.

Sometimes, life is like a vacuum cleaner.

It sucks.

But we make do with what we have.

Nothing in life worth having comes easy.

Come Wednesday, I'll go to the movies alone.

peace.

61?

2010-07-01T09:37:00.002+08:00

this post has a point.

like, really.

the point of this post is to get rid of the chowder video that keeps popping up every time i open this blog.

(yes, i read my own posts. lol.)

don't get me wrong, i like the show, at the moment it may be the be-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-st show in the world, but its just noisy sometimes.

and also to comment on a friend's very recent blog post.

since khairul barriah is so stubborn and refuses to turn back on the comments section of her blog, i shall just comment here and hopes that she finds it in her busy schedule to read it.

congrats on the new job / training! very businesswoman-like.

now that the post has served its purpose, i shall continue on with my usual pointless rambling.

bla bla bla bla bla.

i really do have something to write about, but i tried yesterday, it just doesn't come out right.

to put it simple, in the words of shrek, "i like my privacy".

i don't like it when people i barely even know post stuff thats mine online for the whole world to see.

annoying juniors. pfft.

i don't think i was that annoying when i was a junior. or maybe i was... haha.

but in my defense, my senior was really cute.

and, oh, i wanted to borrow her books and notes and stuff... so, hahaha.

seriously considering changing the "kalau boleh kenalkan diri dulu sebelum add, tak suka add orang yang tak dikenali." on facebook to a "don't add me, i'll add you."

lol. i changed it. never knew i was so poetic. haha.

peace.

p/s: a pointless point is still considered a point!

60

2010-06-26T04:43:00.002+08:00

apparently this is my 60th post.

I have blogged quite a lot this year.

this will also be my 20th post this year.

I don't really know the point of telling all this.

Life, as usual when the holidays (permanent?) are here, is boring.

There's not much I can really do.

Well, there are plenty of stuff that I actually can do, but none that i would prefer doing alone.

I guess I'm not that type of person that enjoys solitude very much.

I mean, some people go travelling or go watch a movie all by themselves and have a great time.

Not me. Where's the fun if you can't share it with someone?

But to be fair, watching movies can still be enjoyable if you do it alone.

I mean, its not like I talk that much while watching the movie anyways.

Only if my friend is chit-chatty will I be as well. I try not to annoy other people though. Unless the movie bores me. lol.

I guess thats why I like RPGs so much. Although I'm all alone in front of the computer, I'm surrounded by people inside the game.

But i stopped, cause it was too much fun. And you tend to forget the things you should focus on when you're having too much fun.

But its just sad sometimes. You're with your friends, and you see someone bowling all alone for example. Or you're eating out with your friends and you see this one fella eating at a dark corner pretending not to care.

I think I've grown a lot in the sense that, probably ten years ago i wouldn't have cared if i was all alone, as long as i have my computer games, nothing can go wrong.

Only in secondary school was it clearer to me that its more fun going out and socializing.

what a geekazoid. haha.

in case anyone's wondering, i haven't really truly started searching for a job. haha.

my aunt raised an interesting point the other day when she asked where i plan to work. before that i mentioned that the friend i went to singapore with to go for the job interview, took the job there and is now staying in singapore (for the most part).

so she asked me, where would i be working? the reason behind the question is that since i have only one younger brother and no other siblings, it would probably be a bit hard for my mother to let me go work at faraway places.

i did not think of that before.

to be honest i kinda hoped i would get faraway jobs, so that i can travel and see the world, so to speak.

i guess some things other than what I want must be taken into consideration as well.

on a lighter note, i think that my mother is a bit old-fashioned when it comes to interview attire.

she insists i wear a plain white shirt to interviews.

i seem to recall some friends going for interviews with very colourful formal attire, and some did get the job.

haha.

did i mention i look like an idiot when wearing formal attire? haha.

its probably due to my body portions. i have long legs, which makes my upper body look short, which in turn makes me look like an old guy with pulled his pants up too high.

yeap, kinda like this guy.

enough for now.

peace.

Catch phrase.

2010-06-21T14:49:00.002+08:00

Importance of catch phrases.

By Chowder, my latest favorite cartoon.

going to find more now.

Wazzam!

haha. peace.

no point.

2010-06-20T23:25:00.008+08:00

i have attempted many record-breaking in the past.

(yes i am bored, so bear with me.)

i once attempted to grow the longest dust-bunnies in the world. (fyi, dust bunnies = sawang, i think)

these things were growing from the light above my study table in utp, so i thought i'd let them grow as long as possible.

but then as i was gulping down on some canned drinks, something got stuck in my throat.

*cough cough.

some of the dust bunnies fell into my drink. pfft.

after washing off all the dust bunnies in my room, (including my roommate's unintended record breaking attempt, haha.), i realized the foolishness of the idea.

but as i continued gulping down on the contaminated drink, i thought of another thing to do.

world's tallest aluminium can tower. muahaha.

i'm sure i can break the world record easy.

and so i constructed the tower. being someone in the engineering field, i considered how unstable a single tower would be, therefore i decided to construct a twin-tower.

4 years of engineering study put to good use. muahaha.

ah, such a beautiful monument, much like the petronas twin towers themselves, but this looks a bit wobbly..

*PRANGGG!!!

okay, aluminium cans, not so stable when next to a ceiling fan.

or next to a clumsy giant.

long story short, i decided not to build the world's tallest aluminium can twin tower, but instead, the world's longest aluminium can wall.

and here is the result of this attempt.

hohoho. not bad eh?

may not be the longest one in the world, but definitely the longest in UTP.

i'm so proud of my achievement. hahahaha.

i warned you there might be more of those pointless posts.

here is a beautiful view from my room.

beautiful isn't it. i think so anyways.

sometimes we don't appreciate the things that we have.

and we appreciate too much the things we don't have.

which makes us always wanting more, and never being content.

i googled content to see if i got the spelling right, and i found this picture.

Contentment is the experience of satisfaction and being at ease in one's situation.

much like the fella in the picture i think.

speaking about contentment, here is a creature i think that is content with its current situation.

the galapagos tortoise. largest tortoise in the world, up to 300kg in weight.

"move away before i eat you", says this one.

"you smell nice", says this one.

i'll let you guys decide what this one says.

wouldn't it be cool if i could keep one of these guys as a pet. haha.

they live up to a 150 years by the way, so whatever happens you'll still have your pet galapagos tortoise. haha. :)

we have so much information at our fingertips these days, yet we don't really take advantage of it.

i can find out about anything or anyone or anywhere in the world anytime with just a click of a button.

hmm.

oh well.

peace.

Pointless.

2010-06-16T01:52:00.002+08:00

i think people need goals in their life.

or at least, need something to do with their life.

i do.

its been almost a day and a half at home, and already i am bored.

i have no games to keep me occupied, no friend that is free to ask out, no work to keep me busy.

i have nothing to do.

done.

now what?

i had hoped to watch some world cup matches at home, only to realize that we don't subscribe to the sports package.

fantastic.

not that im that into football anyways. still, its the world cup.

i don't have a friend to actually ask to come with to the mamak stalls, coz the one friend i usually go out with, his mother does not like him going out at night. LOL.

no offense to him. just that he's been staying at home almost all his life, so i'm guessing his mother is a wee bit protective.

so there are only two solutions to my problem, find a job fast, or find something to keep me occupied.

as i've mentioned before, not that easy finding a job you like.

but what to do to keep me occupied? MMORPGs?

a friend did mention playing this game, but i kinda forgot to get the installer from him.

sigh.

i am reading this book i just bought, but i think its not the type of book that i would spend hours reading just to finish.

which makes it a very good investment.

see, if i like the book so much, i will read and read and read summore. and finish the book in less than a week. see this is not such a bad thing.

if the book wasn't RM 70.

it is said that a man will pay RM2 for a RM1 item that he needs. so true.

a woman on the other hand, will pay RM1 for a RM2 item she doesn't need but is on sale.

i'll let you guys decide on that one. haha.

i want to go watch movies. the new karate kid movie looks fun. anyone wants to go with me? haha.

since i am somewhat bored, you can expect more posts like these in the future.

posts that don't really have a point. haha.

actually, i did have a point, but i think i'll save it for another day.

i get bored very easily. which is why if you are trying to concentrate in class, you shouldn't be beside me.

because i will come up with all sorts of ideas, things to do, stuff to talk about, to avoid being bored.

i played truth once with some friends while in class. i laughed so hard my jaws hurt.

luckily we weren't told to get out of the class.

we weren't so lucky in another class.

"if you're not interested, either keep quiet or get out of the classroom" is what the lecturer said.

to be fair, the lecture was VERY VERY boring. we were the only ones that bothered to stay awake by chatting. plus it was a bit hard to understand him with his accent.

"if yur not inderezted, eiza keep quiet or get out of zee classrum" is what it sounded like.

kinda like a german-french accent. zat legcheror iz from egypt, i sink.

ok now bored of blogging. must do something else.

peace.

fin.

2010-06-13T02:13:00.002+08:00

uu, look how pretty the blog is now. haha.

now i feel more motivated to blog more often.... or not.

haha.

the presentations are done.
hardbound reports are submitted.
bowling balls were thrown.
movies were watched.
fast food burgers were consumed.
friends were made fun of.
own self was laughed at a few times.
apologies were made.
debts are paid.
hugs were exchanged.
farewells were said.

at long last, the four years has ended.

like, really ended. not "one week break to go to singapore and then prepare for presentation one day before" ended, like no more presentations.

i did okay btw, peeked at my score sheet after the presentation. hahaha.

all thats left is to do my clearance, get out of the uni, and later on come back for convocation.

(i'm all alone here btw, so now you may understand why suddenly the blog looks different.)

and of course, find a job.

or go for masters.

or a very rich girlfriend that doesn't mind having the boyfriend just stay at home and not work.

if only rich girlfriends grow on trees.

i don't think its that hard to get a job.

whats tricky is getting a job you actually want.

you have to go to interviews, answer IQ tests, behavior tests...

and more interviews, and more interviews.

which is well, boring. these companies think they're so above other people, that they have to screen everyone through these ridiculous tests. pfft.

anyways, not really in the mood to blog, just thought i'd have a new post to signify the new design.

coz when you think about it, its kinda hard to imagine that the people we hang on to for 4 years, is no longer going to be there.

well, they'll still be there, but not there there.

you know what i mean right.

life will sort itself out eventually.

for the time being, i'll just follow the flow.

i really was joking about the rich girlfriend thing.

i can't really see myself with a girlfriend at the moment, let alone with a wife.

no, i am not gay so please stop asking. lol.

but some people that i know, are like, so ready, to be in that phase of life, its astounding to me.

they have already thought up of everything, planned everything, and are currently working towards that goal.

to me, that is like, wow.

i don't think i've enjoyed life enough to let myself be stuck in that situation.

because i think that girls especially when they think of marriage, they think of how romantic it is, how it is like the ultimate commitment from the guy, how it is like a symbol of everlasting love and all that ~~crap~~ stuff...

but to me i think it is more towards responsibility. commitment. obligation.

your actions are limited afterwards, you can't go out with other girl friends for fear of jealousy, you are obliged to contact this particular person every day as a show of affection, plus there would be situations like this happening.

fyi, first ever video posted on the blog.

im just a bit bummed all my friends have left. thats all. haha.

not really in the mood to blog more right now, so i'll stop here.

peace.

sad day for the hair.

2010-06-02T01:49:00.002+08:00

yeay new template. haha.

i wanted to stay with the old one, mostly because that way the picture of the monster stays in the center (coz this new one is a bit to the left), but its very sad looking.

shouldn't be sad.

so the new one looks a bit happier. i tried editing a bit, but not really that rajin to go and find and make my profile so pretty like the other blogs, so ill just leave it like this then.

for now.

plus this new one matches the monster's color.

haha.

erm i shall be going back to utp tomorrow, and i will be getting a haircut probably on the next day. sad day for the hair.

and me as well.

never did like having short hair, i feel like it makes me look like an idiot. maybe i'll find a pic and post here.

ah found one on friendster.

see.

told ya i look like an idiot.

i wonder if i can find a job that doesn't require me to have short hair....

hmm..

and maybe while i'm at it, a job that pays me extra for being late and falling asleep while working.

if only life was that fun.

anyways, it finally dawned on me that there are some of my friends that i will probably never see again in a very long time. since i am graduating and all.

to be honest i have never been the sentimental guy. for the most part.

i think i've blogged about this before so i won't anymore. but that was before i was all grown up.

now i think i've grown a bit emotionally (or not).

so i guess what i'm trying to say is..

i will miss everyone in UTP.

even the ones i'm not close with.

EVEN the ones i hate. because its the people we hate / dislike that give us reminders of what not to be like.

but i will most surely miss my close friends.

how could i have gone through 4 years of engineering without you all.

thank you all for keeping me company when i needed it, and leaving me alone when i needed the space. (although most of the time i prefer being pestered by you people.)

ok enuff mushy stuff. haha.

i didn't really have anything to write in the first place so i'll stop now before i make myself look more gay. hahah.

peace.

no longer busy

2010-06-01T00:09:00.002+08:00

ah finally time to blog.

been busy the past couple of weeks, with studying, exams, travelling, and meeting up with friends.

the exams were, well some were ok, some were not, especially the last paper, probably because i was not really caring that much about the paper, more on what to do after i finished...

but its done, and nothing to do that can change what happened, so what the hell.

immediately after the exams, well not immediately, the day after the final exams, took a train straight to kl, then took a bus to singapore with a friend. a gay trip maybe? LOL.

went sightseeing, checked out the famous spots, ate the singapore murtabak. it is always nice to go to new places, but singapore was just so-so for me.

i don't really see why its so famous as compared to malaysia, theres not really much stuff to do apart from shopping. maybe because it has good public transport and its super clean there (compared to here) and the people are nice(r).

ok so probably that explains why its famous. plus theres that red light district. he he. (evil laugh)

but honestly, not that many pretty girls in singapore. i mean, the pretty ones are really pretty (or hot, whichever you prefer), but pales in comparison with malaysia. i can't go anyplace without spotting some cute/pretty/ hot girl. hehe.

hujan batu di negeri sendiri, hujan emas di negeri orang, lebih baik negeri sendiri.

did i use that correctly? nevermind.

so the real reason my friend went to singapore was to go for a job interview, and he got the job, so congrats to him. i just went there for sight-seeing. haha.

haven't really gone looking for a job, just feel like chilling for a bit. maybe i should be a bit more serious, seeing as how some of my friends have already gotten jobs.

so after getting back from singapore, figured i would hang around in kl for a bit, meet up with some friends.

although some were unable to show up due to miscellaneous reasons, did meet up with a few. had a good time.

barely had time to recuperate after the exhausting singapore trip.

then on wesak day, came home to good ol ipoh by hitching a ride with a cousin.

only when i was in malaysia did i found out my father was hospitalised for one night.

no one bothered to tell me.

i only found out because my nephews (cousin's sons) slipped up and told me. kids. can't really control what they say.

suspected heart attack, my other cousin went to say.

a bit pissed that no one bothered to tell me, not even my mother.

but she did have the time to text me

"pergi universal studios? kalau tiket mahal mak sponsor le."

LOL.

guess she didn't want me to worry and spoil my time there.

turns out it wasn't a heart attack, it was "acid reflux" (thank you pharmacist-to-be) =P

not too serious i guess.

moving on to lighter news, upon arrival home, went to a few kenduris at the old house. so much memories there.

plus things seem so much bigger when you're small.

i see many familiar faces while at the two kenduris, but me being me, a bit afraid to say hi, for fear of them not remembering me. happens sometimes.

theres this one girl that looks very very familiar, but i cant seem to tell who she is and why she looks so familiar. oh well.

after the kenduris, i rushed home and went to meet up with two not-so-very-familiar faces.

Amelia and Asma. =)

nice meeting both of u.

anyways, after that, got home and basically did nothing until today. hectic week, i would say.

next up, final presentation, and looking for jobs.

or maybe look for someone super rich to marry so i won't have to work, but just sit at home and play farmville or something.

and no i do not play farmville. haha. that game sucks the life out of people and turns them into digital-crop-planting zombies.

but i do play plants versus zombies. (almost the same thing if not worse)

haha.

peace.

bad liar

2010-05-16T12:33:00.003+08:00

i couldn't sleep soundly. probably due to the heat.

and its already 12 pm.

but i just went to bed at 7 am. 5 hours sleep, not enough.

plus i woke up for about 10 minutes at 10, then decided to sleep again.

the reason for sleeping late is that my friends and i went to McD for breakfast.

haha.

it would be impossible for us to wake up at a normal time like most people, so we stayed up until 3 30 am, and drove to McD Ipoh (40 min drive) just to eat breakfast, at 4 am.

when you're graduating, (i've mentioned this before i think), you want to do so many things you haven't done while you still can.

and having breakfast is one of them. haha.

we got stopped by the police cause my friend that was driving had an expired license. we stopped just in front of the road block and i drove the car instead, hoping not to get a fine. haha.

(you can read at my friend/ roommate's blog here.)

anyways, i'm not a good enough liar. i can't lie my way out of things. somebody else would have just sweet talked their way out of the summons, but i couldn't.

but i did keep cool. wasn't afraid even though they were threatening me and all.

still... oh well, stuff to improve on.

or not, lying isn't exactly a very good skill to improve on. haha.

lets not call it lying then, lets call it "acting". haha.

i really respect the really good actors / actresses that can really get into their characters, summon up emotions and feelings that were never there in the first place.

macam, to laugh and show happiness is easy, but to show sadness, pain, thats tough.

whenever i watch movies that are a bit or a lot sad, i sometimes put my macho on pause and try to cry, especially during the sad scenes.

and it works!

tears start swelling up in my eyes, but it never drops though.

except for that one time i closed my eyes real hard to make the tears fall down, and it did.

LOL.

(you guys must think by now im this heartless monster. muahaha!)

anyways, i find its quite easy to get into the sad mode when the story is sad, but afterwards, when its all happy, i try to make the tears swell up again, not successful.

because its hard! it really is.

so, hats off to all those super talented actors. you guys deserve those million dollar checks you get for each movie.

not only are you people very easy on the eyes, but also very talented.

if you're not that talented, well, at least you're very good looking. LOL.

sometimes in this world thats all it takes.

pretty sure those policemen wouldn't fine people as pretty as you people. haha.

oh, am currently hooked on this song, "Nothin' on You" by B.o.B. such a nice song to listen to.

and oh, did i mention i'm in my study week? no? hmm.

if no then i probably didn't mention i have a paper tomorrow.

this blog post shouldn't even exist! i should be studying non-stop!

(how come there are no funny smileys in blogger? even friendster has them.)

but i'm not. oh well. mungkin pakcik polis boleh saman saya pasal tu daripada sibuk2 tanya pasal hidung saya.

haha. wish me luck for my last final exam.

peace. take care!

foci point.

2010-05-12T02:39:00.004+08:00

found an old friend on facebook.

well, more than an old friend. more like old scandal. LOL.

but we were just friends back then, probably coz we're a bit close that the rumours started.

when thinking about it, we weren't really that close, her in Form 2, me in Form 4.

but we did chat whenever we bumped into each other.

plus she is kinda cute. LOL.

haih, why do i have to be so blurr back then.

i seriously hope im not as unawares now as i was back then.

for all i know someone actually likes me alot and i'm too airheaded to notice.

well, someone i like back anyways. LOL.

dang it so mean that statement. its not that easy, achieving your resolutions.

i'm less forgetful, that is for certain, i recall things more often in my brain rather than move stupidly around with brain on pause.

see its all about what you focus on. lets say you focus on this very attractive girl, you may not notice you've stepped into dog poo.

the same goes with everything else i think.

i seriously have lost sight of what this post was supposed to be about.

dang it there goes another resolution.

which reminds me, i forgot it was mother's day last weekend.

yes2, i know very bad boy, but i have my reasons.

my family and i went to kuantan that day to send my brother for his matriculation.

so waking up early, messed up sleep cycle, preoccupied with other stuff = forgetting it was mother's day.

i did remember on that same day later on, but it was a bit too late.

actually my mother's birthday was the weekend before mother's day, so i kinda hoped the celebration would be a 2 in 1 thing.

okay more mean-ness. not helping with the resolutions.

in my defense, i care about my mother and father dearly, i just don't show it that much.

so thinking on how to redeem myself, i decided to clean up my room before i left for utp just now.

and fyi, if you know me, you'd know that cleaning up my room is a really big gesture.

but i didn't tell her i cleaned it up though.

she'll find out soon enough.

happy belated mother's day.

:)

Mistaken Identity

2010-05-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

baru perasan this blogger thing doesn't have a word count feature. when i blog in friendster previously i usually stop at 1000+ words to avoid the post from being too long.

since i cant count number of words, means that my posts will be getting super long.

or super short.

anyways, a few years back, a friend of mine said that there was a friend of hers that wanted to befriend me.

me being the sometimes very oblivious fella, said sure why not.

so the friend added me on ym.

so we chatted for a bit. then stopped.

fast forward a few years later, after not logging on to ym for quite some time, logged in.

saw this "new friend" of mine online.

nothing weird about being online, but what was weird was that the friend had a picture of a girl for profile pic.

hmmm....

LOL.

only now did i realize that this was a girl, not a boy. dah la dulu cakap macam cakap dengan laki je.

no wonder we didn't chat for very long.

coz lets face it, the way we talk is different depending on who we talk with.

we don't talk the same way we talk to our friends when we talk to our parents. we don't talk the same way we talk with strangers when we talk to people we know.

and i'm not sure about others, but i don't talk the same way i talk to guys when i talk with girls.

with boys its usually very harsh, sarcastic, double meaning. but all in good fun. most of the time.

with girls im usually soft spoken. i think. haha. unless ive known that person for some time then its a bit more like when i talk with boys, but still there are limits.

i wonder if i should apologize. LOL. in my defence her yahoo ID sounds kinda like a boy's ID.

and her profile pic does look a bit like a guy. LOL.

or maybe its his girlfriend. hmm.

haih so hard to figure out if its online. this is why its sometimes dangerous to talk to people online. people can be anyone they want to be.

for all you people know i might be a Yellow or Orange Monster With A Forked Tail, Big Horns And Four Eyes.

or charlie brown.

or someone totally different.

its easier for me to be myself faster when im online. a bit hard to do so in real life.

obviously being a Yellow or Orange Monster With A Forked Tail, Big Horns And Four Eyes does have its disadvantages.

enough for now. peace.

Operations Management.

2010-05-05T03:27:00.000+08:00

quick post coz i feel like it.

OM test results came out. (refer to 3rd latest entry).

not very good. haha.

oh well.

still tweaking with blog layout. i want to keep that monster pic, but all layouts i find (apart from this plain one) can't fit that picture. not easy removing the watermark, using only paint!

(Got the picture here. sorry for stealing, not rich enuf to pay $20 for a picture. :P )

(no i dunno how to use photoshop. haha)

time for sleep. wish me luck meeting my supervisor tomorrow.

gulp.

First post on new site.

2010-05-03T01:07:00.000+08:00

Hello. I've just moved here from sumplace.
The name of the blog is four-eyed geekazoid.
because mostly i am one.
secondly despite of who we are outside, who we are inside may be totally different.
hence the expression don't judge a book by its cover. plus the header of the blog is definitely not what you'd expect.

not sure if i used hence right...

may take awhile for me to update, as not all geeks are hardworkers, so bear with me.

plus geeks aren't exactly known to have very interesting lives, so, not much stuff to write on anyways.

also, may take me some time to learn to tweak this blogger account, so for the time being, enjoy the boring geeky layout.

peace.

p/s: if you're the person that I stole the picture above from, sorry!

Busy bee or copy cat.

2010-04-30T04:19:00.000+08:00

It was probably one of the stupidest things I've ever done in my entire life.

An entire semester's work. To be crammed in less than 24 hours time.

If I don't make it, tell my family I love them very much.... is what I would say if I could actually die from all the last minute work.

But no, it's not possible.

Surprisingly I did think of jumping out of my 4th floor room window so that I wouldn't have to deal with the all the work.

But then I wouldn't be able to graduate. That's no fun.

And oh, also, I would die. LoL.

One thing about people that like to work last minute, we have a very high tolerance level of stress.

But I'd be lying if said the stress didn't get to me.

At one point, my roommate and I were awfully quite, without even the slightest whisper (except for the occasional swear words.)

Suddenly, I would break out into a song that suddenly popped into my head. Out loud. So what if its 4 am?

What first started out as a normal song, quickly turned into nonsense and we'd then both laugh out loud. Even if you were there you probably wouldn't get it, so not expecting you to get it now.

But that's how I particularly deal with stress. I sing. I laugh. I make other people laugh. Most of the time the stuff I spout out is pure nonsense, but when you're not exactly mentally stable from lack of sleep and all, anything other than mechanical design of your equipment seems funny.

Oh, I just remembered one guy did drop by, then left in quite a hurry because we weren't exactly talking to him, and not exactly talking to each other, more likely to the walls and to our laptops, so maybe that freaked him out a bit.

But at the very last hour before submission, things got very serious. Very tense. No funny business. Curse words were thrown out. Names of weird-nosed animals were shouted. Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V were the most typed keys on the keyboard by this time.

At one point, I thought to myself, What would happen if my examiner found out I was plagiarizing? Would I have to repeat this semester due to this one bloody subject? But if I calculated everything myself, I won't finish this thing even if they gave me another day, let alone another hour. That doesn't even take into consideration how long it would take to print out an 80 page report.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

What should I do?!

I froze.

That one minute felt like an eternity. That one minute could have been used to type roughly 70 words, according to my average type speed.

No more thinking.

Ctrl+C. Ctrl+V.

What if I failed?

Ctrl+C. Ctrl+V.

What if I am caught plagirizing?

Ctrl+C. Ctrl+V.

What if my parents are informed of my plagirizing?

Where on Earth will I be able to show my face then?

Sure people have been suspended before, extended a few semesters, sooner or later they still graduate, but the shame, the embarassment. Not just to me, but to my family..

I stopped.

Sure, by this time every single Chem Eng student would either be submitting their report or copying the hell out of the ones that are done, but what if out of all those people, I was the one caught?

Paraphrase.

Its not called plagiarizing if you copy only certain parts, and do certain parts on your own.

Best solution considering the options, I hear my brain say to me.

So be it.

4.15 pm. 45 minutes to submission.

Some things I did on my own, calculated properly. But only some. In my defense, my part is definitely flawed. Not enough information was available for me to do it properly to begin with, but with time I could've conjured up a set of data that would seem logical and real.

If only I could conjure up the time.

To hell with all that.

4.20 p.m. 40 minutes before submission.

Done. Not really, so many things could expose me for the cheat I was, but what the hell. If I continued, I wouldn't have enough time to print out the damn report, and what good would that be.

Time to print.

*ping*

Who in the hell would want to die by PM-ing me right now?

"yo. report anta 27 ke?"

" ? xfaham? "

"Tadi K cal Dr F. Die kata 27. Group aq anta esk "

"betul ke ni. jangan tipu"

without waiting for a reply, I ran to this fella's room.

Yes, the rumours are to be believed. God has intervened and saved most of the final sem Chemical Engineering students from certain academic death that day. I'm pretty sure most of us will remember this cursed yet blessed day until the day we, like really, die.

How unbelievable. It truly felt like a miracle to me at that time. Really, what are the odds of something like this happening? Actually it did happen before, the FYP progress report submission date was postponed, but it was informed early in the morning, not 40 minutes before submission time. And at that time I was fully prepared. My report was already done. So it didn't really affect me that much.

But this, oh my God. I am so so so very relieved and grateful. If I could actually cry from stuff like this, I would have, but I can't, so I just made sobbing sounds. Which sounded weird. LOL.

Now that this stupid thing's been postponed, time to study for my OM test. Couldn't have studied for the test before, had to finish this stupid thing.

But here's the kicker - OM test, today, 6 pm.

LOL.

till next time. peace.

p.s : true event, happened last week. report was successfully submitted on tuesday, final presentation done just a few hours ago. FYDP settled. one subject down, 4 more subjects to complete before I graduate. and for the OM test? I think I did okay... haha. results aren't out yet though. oh well.

a post to remember.

2010-04-02T06:02:00.000+08:00

i have a test tomorrow. i've barely studied, yet im blogging. what a smart thing to do.

i've never been a disciplined person. in kindergarten i would often get into fights with other boys. at home i would get into fights with my brother. boys will be boys i suppose.

this did not mean i was a bully though. mostly i was the one being bullied. i really was a good boy back then.

i remembered that i was really talkative at primary school. one of the noisy ones. i remembered that i talked too much that i didn't know what the homework was most of the time, so i had to call my friend to ask.

those days, studies were never a problem. i don't even recall studying for tests. but i was top of the class most of the time. haha. until standard three anyways. then i skipped one year and went to standard five.

by standard six i was grouped into the smartest class apparently. so competition here was much more fierce. i can't remember what number i got in class, but it was in the top 10 still, so not bad. but i was the best speller in class. haha. unfortunately there was no spelling bee at the time, so i couldn't represent the school.

and yes i was still being bullied by some of the bullies. lol. i remembered playing this stupid game where you had to bang the other person's back if he didn't do the safe sign, and i got banged so hard i think it bruised a bit. but i did do the safe sign, this bully just wanted to hit me. zz. i remember my grandmother applying minyak gamat on my back.

[caption id="attachment_125" align="aligncenter" width="267" caption="Standard 6. it was very bright so i had to squint my eyes."][/caption]

i don't really know what this has to do with how disciplined i am, but lets just carry on. in secondary school i was a bit less of a good boy. haha. i used to get caned a lot, and would often get caught with long hair. but in my defense my hair is thicker than most people and although it looks long, it isn't. regardless, i would still get caught, up to the point that the discipline teacher recognized me coz i was caught all the time.

didn't perform so well academically in secondary school. i remembered getting number 20+ in class, close to 30 i think. and my mother wasn't too happy about it. haha. and she still isn't. haha. oh well, some things never change. but i was still in the top class though.

i really liked history. cause of the stories i think. really hated geography. i would often say " why would i wanna know what people in this unknown country mined? ". i think this was the point were i picked up on sarcasm. haha. there was one time i had to do a hundred sit-ups cause i did badly in a geography test. that sucked.

come pmr time however, i pulled my act together. before the pmr, i was number 8 in class, tied with one chinese boy. for pmr, i was one of the three people in my school that got 8a's. (most of them took only 7 subjects. lol) apparently coz of this i was quite popular. but i didn't know. lol.

[caption id="attachment_126" align="aligncenter" width="604" caption="Form one. see if you can spot me."][/caption]

when most of my friends fled to more prestigious schools, i decided to flee as well. however, not at all intrigued by the concept of "taking care of myself at boarding school", i went to a school near to my house. a newly opened school. a place where the older schools nearby dumped their bad students. i must say that this was a very bad decision academically, but i was young. how would i know.

here, i was no longer bullied. i was more or less the bad boy now, though i never did any bullying. my studies weren't so great here, probably cause of the lack of competition. plus i was preoccupied with all the girls. lol. been in an all-boys school, relatively speaking, this was the first time i interacted with girls. i remember my father saying to me on the first day of school, "my son is now a teenager". lol.

due to all these factors, my spm results weren't so hot. i couldn't apply for any scholarships. i couldn't go to this swanky looking university i visited in tronoh. my teacher actually said this on result day. "yasin ni saya rasa kalau pergi sekolah lain mesti boleh dapat result lagi bagus, tapi dah duduk sekolah ni, apa nak buat".

till this day i often wonder what would happen if i would have gone to a proper school. i often imagine myself having a flawless academic record (cause spm was the only one that spoiled it all), and i probably would have been able to go study abroad with all expenses paid for by scholarship.

but honestly, i don't think it would have made that much of a difference. nowadays that school produces so many scorers, so it isn't really the school, its me. plus i don't regret the choice. i may not have excelled academically there, but the school did teach me a lot about life. about people. i really believe i grew a lot as a person there.

luckily, after spm, i was selected to enter pasum. though i was very low-profile there, i made some very close friends there, and enjoyed the hell out of life. haha. surprisingly enough, despite all the non-stop hedonistic activities, my results were not bad.

it was also here that i was forced to speak in english. since some of the malays here speak better english than malay, and some even better english than english people. lol. but through it my confidence to SPEAK (speaking and writing are two very different things) in english improved, so a very good thing indeed.

[caption id="attachment_128" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="my class at pasum. i wonder who that girl is. LOL."][/caption]

due to my not-so-bad results and my improved english, thanks to my one year stint at pasum, i was able to get accepted into my current university. and so here i am. still the undisciplined bum, blogging hours before an important test. haha.

all in all, utp has been a very good place for me. i am more patient, more understanding, less rude, less painful to live with, more open to people. i also learned a thing or two about engineering. LOL.

[caption id="attachment_129" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="a 3-years younger me."][/caption]

i'm not really sure what this post is supposed to be about, i think i did one like this before, but i do have one concluding point. life is unpredictable. the best way to live is to live without regrets. if i had gone to a boarding school, i probably would still be the wimp that was being bullied all over.if i had scored great results in my spm, i probably would not have gone to pasum, and would not have met all the people that i did there, and that in itself would have been a great loss to me. i probably would not have ended up in UTP, which apparently is the envy of a lot of universities out there, even the ones overseas.

(a friend studying in australia preferred my uni's curriculum better. plus i saw a university of melbourne graduate at our career fair, so that says a lot about our uni's exposure to the industry.)

okay that is all. back to studying. or maybe sleeping. lol.

take care. peace.

p.s : don't bother commenting. its bugged. wrote an email to friendster asking how to remove the verification thing, they say its standard so not an option to remove it. may move this blog to somewhere else if i have the time.

Unforeseen consequences.

2010-03-26T03:07:00.000+08:00

when you don't feel like it, not much you can do to force it. i don't feel like writing right now, so this will be a super short post by my standards.

a series of unfortunate events has befallen me this week. though some i'd rather not mention (major stomach ache), some are worth mentioning.

my house was broken into last night at about 4 am. about the same time i was happily chatting with a friend in manglish. which I must say here is very fun indeed. no, not the house being broken into part obviously.

i was not there. i was in UTP. my mother and brother were asleep. my father was not. so they came in, held my mother at knifepoint (if there's an actual word like this), tied her up, did the same with my brother, then threatened my father with my mother and brother. obviously my father couldn't do much, even if no one was threatened, because there were 3 fellas altogether, and my father isn't his young self anymore.

they tied everyone up, ransacked my parents' bedroom, then left. took everyone's cash, phones, camera, watches, jewellery, etc2.

apart from the bruises my mother had from being tied up too tight, no one was hurt. thank God. so much worse could have happened.

i found out at noon and rushed straight home.

In conclusion, I would like to summarize the things that I have learnt / realized this week (not in order).

1. Never wait too long to get something you like.

2. Never leave your stomach too hungry, it may surprise you.

3. Never piss off your supervisor, she may give you extra work for it.

4. Life does not always go the way you planned it.

5. It does not hurt to be careful.

6. You are too mat salleh celup if you think talking in manglish or worse in Malay with a friend is fun and entertaining.

7. Your mother remembers more than you think she does.

8. You used to be a very good boy.

9. You can achieve almost anything if you set your mind to it.

10. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Especially ones that call you in the middle of the night to supposedly console you.

11. Friends do care about you, even though it may not look like it at times.

12. Always remember to be humble no matter how proud you are.

13. Relationships are easy to build, but if broken are hard to mend.

14. 1 + 1 = 1. That is love.

15. People don't always react the way you expect them to.

16. People miss you more than you miss them sometimes, so be nice.

That is all from me for now. Will post a proper one as soon as possible.

Peace.

final-years

2010-03-11T05:33:00.000+08:00

I'm tired. of all this.

I want to graduate. Like ASAFP.

I know I'll be going like "oh how I miss my uni days" in a few months but I just can't help it. Once you reach the stage where I am, i.e: final year final sem, a sort of lethargy kind of sets in all of a sudden. And can you blame me? If I perform exceptionally well, i.e 4.0 or exceptionally bad, i.e 1.0, at most my cgpa will change by plus minus 0.02.

I have only 5 classes per week. 4 off days. Sometimes 5, because there's only one class on Tuesday and it's really early in the morning (9 am. lol), so I sometimes accidentally, (and sometimes intentionally) "miss" the class. I don't go to tutorials. I mean, I've only gone to a handful of tutorials over the past years and I think I did okay, so why bother really.

Sounds like the best sem ever, but I've still got my FYP and FYDP (final year design project : required for Chem Eng students). Takes up most of my free time. And my holidays even. Which really sucks. I feel like sleeping most of my free time, but by not doing work I'm supposed to do, I'll feel guilty. And the fact other people seem to be as hardworking as ants (not sure if its the right analogy) doesn't really help my conscience.

However, being a senior does have its perks. For one, the juniors supposedly look up and respect you. Theoretically speaking, of course. I've had my housemates, juniors, greeting me and stuff. Though most just don't bother. Which doesn't really bother me, as long as they don't show any disrespect. See, when you're a senior, you (or more specifically, me) develop a sense of pride, of arrogance at how old you are and how you're almost at the finish line.

Not exactly following the way of the paddy (semakin berisi semakin tunduk), but I take it as a good thing. Because for someone with a confidence problem talking to people sometimes, I find myself extremely confident. I find myself no longer hesitating when trying to ask someone for help, no longer thinking twice about voicing my opinions, more vocal on my thoughts and feelings on something, rather than keeping it all to myself. And more friendly and talkative, apparently. haha.

And it shows in other people as well. Guys that weren't confident before (I suppose) to talk to the girl that he was staring at from afar are now going out with that same girl. haha. But I think you shouldn't be that desperate. Nothing wrong with waiting. But nothing wrong with going for it anyways, nothing to lose. I don't really have a point here.

Back to my point on lethargy, it does not affect the things that are non-academic. On the contrary, in your final semester, you suddenly think of all the things you haven't done before and want to do before you graduate, i.e go to the 'new' lakeside for a jog, take swimming lessons, go for roadtrips with friends. As a wise friend once quoted a wise man , "Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment". :)

Also, you feel more connected with your friends, probably because it's almost time to part. You tend to join any activity, any ridiculous activity, just because your friends are going. Its not what you do, its who you do it with. Which reminds me, I'm supposed to have a reunion this month, but so far, nothing. The other guys were supposed to plan it this time around because when I planned it only two out of ten showed up, the others giving all sorts of excuses, some not even bothered to give one. Sigh, sometimes I feel like I'm too sentimental, as if I'm the only one that wants to meet, catch up, etc. Oh well.

Again, referring back to my point of trying new things out, I decided to actually do some exercise this semester. LOL. Honestly, before this I thought, people that go out for jogs are just fat people that are trying to get skinny. I'm skinny as hell, why should I go jogging. If anything I should sleep more to get more buff. haha. But only after the short "jog" around the new UTP lake did I realise how unfit I was. Sure, I was skinny, but that has absolutely nothing to do with my fitness, or my health for that matter. I may not be experiencing obesity problems anytime soon, but I may have problems with my heart for lack of exercise during my youth (macam dah tua sangat. haha).

I felt really pathetic after not being able to jog even the shortest of distance, so I decided to exercise at least once a week from now. This week I went for a swim at the pool. I still was really exhausted after about an hour or so, but was definitely a major improvement from the previous week. The body wants to be fit, only the mind stands in the way. haha.

Also within the realm of trying new stuff out, I decided to read a novel which is most definitely in my regular genre of books, which is fantasy. Okay, a bit within my genre, but only the slightest bit.

Twilight. LOL.

(can't believe I just told the whole world wide web I read this book. -_-")

Can't remember the last time I read something so... full of love. LOL. The stories I usually go for are the Dungeons-and-Dragons, Lord-Of-The-Rings, World-of-Warcraft type of stories. Sometimes these stories do have some hints of romance in them, but not to the level of Twilight. Even if all the books I have ever read were combined into one giant book, it couldn't beat Twilight in terms of romance.

Definitely not my cup of tea, but I try to keep an open mind, and see what is it about the book that girls like so much, that they decided to make a movie (no, make that two movies, another from the sequel) out of it. I haven't actually finished the book, still have a few chapters to go, (I'm now at the part where Bella left her father to run away form the bad vamps) but so far here's what I think.

One, I get why this Edward likes this girl so much. I do. She's interesting to her. Intriguing. He's used to figuring people out, reading people's minds, suddenly he bumps into a girl that's totally different, that he can never figure out. Very interesting indeed. But, what I don't get is why she, (apart from the fact that this guy is very good looking), likes him so much. Macam shallow giler. Sure, later she finds he is quite the charmer, but she didn't know in the beginning.

Okay I feel less masculine after reading the book, even more so after announcing it here, so need to something manly to boost my self-esteem back up. Maybe go for a jog in the morning, buff myself up, yeah sounds manly.... Or MAYBE a short nap before class starts in the afternoon. yeah nap sounds much2 better. and more macho.

"I may not be a human, but I am a man." (Cullen,2005)

Quoting a romance novel, definitely not helping. Argh. Nites.

Take care.

Peace.

things i'll never say

2010-02-25T08:13:00.000+08:00

here's something interesting i heard recently.

a friend of mine, lets call him A, for some reason the other day confided in me a problem he has. guess it troubled him a bit keeping it all bottled up. me, being the super-reliable friend that i am, decided to listen though most of the time i don't really like meddling in other people's business.

see, this A was in a relationship of sorts a long time ago, 5 years back i think. since then as far as i can tell he hasn't been in another one. maybe he thought he didn't like getting tied or not really into the whole relationship thing, i dunno. anyways, he told me that his ex contacted him the other day. let's go alphabetical and call the ex-gf B. haha

apparently they still keep in touch even after the breakup coz they're friends with the same people, and probably coz A felt kinda bad for the way he ended the thing. so they chatted a bit, did some catching up, just casual stuff that friends would normally do.

then, B suddenly says that she misses him, which caught A totally off guard. he says to her "don't you have a boyfriend?". B goes on to say that she never got over him, even after all these years, and that the guy that she was supposedly dating, she wasn't really into, so she broke up with that guy recently.

(i was kinda smirking at this point coz i thought my friend was making up stories to make him look like this hot stud, but from his face it didn't look that way, so i bit my tongue and put on my "serious listener" face)

obviously my friend wasn't too happy bout this. he says that he's been keeping his distance from her to avoid this sort of thing, and actually made up stories of a fictional gf just so the ex would not bug him anymore. (i guessing that this wasn't the first time she did this, but i didn't really ask)

so he kinda said something like "i'm sure there are so many guys out there who would want to be your bf, so pls move on and forget me". and the girl says that there are guys that are interested, but she only has eyes for him. at this point in the story i couldn't like, contain myself so i asked "what did you say then?". he said that there's not much he CAN say at the moment and kinda repeated what he said before. haha. us guys aren't very articulate, are we.

oh, i forgot to mention that we were in a lecture hall at the time, so gossiping about ex-girlfriends isn't exactly what you're supposed to do in a lecture hall, no matter how boring the lecture / lecturer was, so when A appeared to stop talking i tried to focus on the man talking to himself at the front of the hall.

"......... and that would've been the end of the story if it weren't for Facebook!", A continued.

"hehe, apa jadi plak lepas tu?", says I. the balding man at the front will have to continue talking to himself. haha.

A goes on to say that not a week after their conversation, B changes her status to "In a relationship with ***", the star being some other guy.

wow. no wonder he seemed upset. that was quick.

he says that he's not upset or anything, he's just mad that she's doing this sort of thing, AGAIN. (much emphasis on the again part). he says that she has been doing this, i.e saying something and then doing something completely opposite to what she just said, always, even when they were together. he couldn't care less who she ends up with at this point, but why say to him she still loves him, then suddenly be with someone else 5 minutes later? (obviously an exaggeration to make his point. do i really need to explain this? haha) is it just to screw with his brain? or did she mean what she said? if she did, then is she just playing around with this new guy?

i have to admit, i understand A's frustration. no this is not just the "supportive friend" talking, this is me as a human talking. sometimes girls, or more generally people do things that really, REALLY get on your nerves, but what really annoys you isn't the act itself, but rather WHY it is done. you can't seem to understand WHY someone would do such a thing.

but, for the life of me, i couldn't say anything at the time. i don't know WHAT to say to him. i mean, i wanted to say something, maybe advice, or maybe a cheer-up, but i couldn't come up with anything. sigh, us guys really are bad with words.

and so, we sat there, silent, finally paying attention to the guy talking at the front of the hall, who appears to be laughing at his own jokes at the time. though i couldn't really offer any words of advice or anything at all that might have helped, i think just listening helps sometimes. i think. i mean, my friend seemed to be actually laughing to the jokes the lecturer was making, so he must be okay. hahah.

maybe the girl was telling the truth. maybe she was still in love with A, but she finally realizes that she should move on so she hooks up with the guy that she thinks will help her do that. or maybe the girl was just plain evil and wanted to mess with A's head. or maybe there's an entirely different reason that A has conveniently left out of the story. or maybe something totally unrelated. who knows, really.

Although I'm pretty sure A & B won't be reading this, you can never really tell. If anyone related to this story reads this, your identity has been kept a secret, so no one will know it was you. If by any chance A is reading this, my advice to you is this : whether she forgets you or not, its you that should forget her. stop letting her mess with your head. and try to pay more attention in class. haha.

If by any chance B is reading this, I can't really tell why you did what you did, but I sincerely wish you all the best in your new relationship. coz if you are in love with A, then your relationship is going to need all the help it can get. but if you are in love with the new guy, then may he be able to withstand your "charms".

oh, i wanna know what you guys think as well, so please do comment. be it here, or facebook (this is for ayol in case she can't seem to get the comment thing to work again. haha).

till next time, peace.

love song for no one

2010-02-11T00:06:00.000+08:00

As I jumped around from blog to blog, I realize that most of the blogs are talking about love, or lack thereof. See, as a guy that pays too much attention to his computer than to girls, I don't really have much to say about this. However, I believe that whoever you are, be it a plain Jane or a smokin' supermodel, there is someone out there for you and you should settle for no less than that someone, although it may take you a few someones to figure out what you really want, or more importantly, what you really need.

I recently watched a not-so-lovey-dovey movie called "500 Days of Summer". Quite late, I know. At first I was under the impression it was a lovey-dovey movie, so I wasn't all that into these types of movies, but since I've heard quite a few people talk about it, I decided I'll give it a shot.

And I really liked it! This is reality! Not the same fairy tale we've been fed for so long.

If you haven't seen it, go see it because I'll be talking about it for a bit.

People were pitying the guy, and who could blame them, but I say, it was the guy's fault. The girl said from the beginning that she wanted to be only friends, and the only thing she did wrong was that she did what she said she wanted. I pity the guy too, but honestly the girl didn't exactly do anything wrong.

And the guy was pissed off at the girl for not wanting to go to the next level with him, but suddenly married some guy she knew for only a short while. However, I really liked her explanation. It was short and simple. "I just woke up one day and I knew, what I never was sure of with you".

The thing I liked most about the movie, apart from how real it felt (not some fluffed up love story), is the subtle yet strong messages throughout the movie. One would be when the little sister said that she thinks that the girl wasn't the 'one' for his brother and he should recall not only the good parts, but also the bad parts of the relationship. I think people sometimes focus too much on the good things or in some cases the bad things, and we forget the other things. But that's life I suppose. Focus more on the guy's money, you'll forget how ugly he looks. Stuff like that.

Another one would be the part when he met the new girl, Autumn. See, there was this beautiful girl, that had the same interests as he did, that liked the same spot in the city as he liked, and noticed him there, but he didn't notice her. And her answer to that was "You must not have been looking". He was so blinded by this one girl who didn't really appreciate what he liked, he didn't see this other girl who could have been so right for him.

Ok enough lovey dovey talk. haha. In conclusion it is a very nice movie and if you haven't seen it yet, then you should.

I shall stop here. Didn't really have anything to write. Just got bored. Happy Chinese New Year everyone.

p/s: Love song for no one is a song by John Mayer. not a bad song for single people. haha.

plastisin

2010-01-26T00:48:00.000+08:00

after failing to fall asleep, at 2 30 am, even though i had only around 2 hours of sleep the night before, and a 1 hour nap, i decided to update my blog. even though it has not been a month yet. hopefully the writing will make me sleepy enough.

when you were a kid, did you go for kindergarten? there, surely you played around with plastercine (plastisin)? the modelling clay? play doh? know what i mean? sure you do. i mean, its like common knowledge what that thing is. its the sticky clay like thing that you play around with and make dinosaurs, pizzas, donuts or whatever your imagination wants it to be.

apart from a simple toy, its also useful for covering up simple leaks and cracks in pipes, tanks etc. long story short, i have a leaking pipe, and i wanted to buy plastercine. so while waiting for my dinner to be ready, i went to the 'grocery shop', or whatever it is you call kedai koop in english. (cooperation shop? lol).

"erm bang, ada jual plastisin tak?"

"er plastisin tu apa eh?"

"erm plastisin tu macam... (sambil menggayakan bentuk kotak plastisin yang sangat tak membantu).. camne nak describe eh plastisin... haha"

"haha erm tak tau lah takde kot"

weird. how does one not know what plastisin is? oh, i might need to mention, i just woke up from my nap, therefore my brain is not functioning at its usual efficiency, so apart from it having a rectangle box, i cant think of any other way to describe plastisin. haha.

nevermind i thought, this shop is a bit small anyways, maybe they have it at the bigger shop at the other village (hostel in UTP). and so i went to the other shop.

Me : "ada jual plastisin tak"

Cashier boy 1 : "plastisin? apa tu eh?"

Me : "....(still thinking how to describe plastisin apart from rectangular box)"

Cashier boy 2 : "oh tau, yang tampal2 tu kan?"

Me : "HAA!"

Cashier boy 2 : "tak ada lah..."

Me : "...."

unsatisfied, i searched the shop myself, in case this fella mistook plastercine for a bandage or sticky tape or post-it-note or sumthing.

nope, no plastisin.

grabbing a Cornetto Royale Strawberry Kisses, i exited the shop (after paying of course) and while walking to fetch my dinner, pondered what kind of kindergartens this people went to, or if they even went to kindergarten. surely they played with plastisin before. can't be that their kindergarten, in an effort to cut down costs, gave them tanah liat sungai to play with instead, can it? nah, improbable.

sticky! yes, thats one way to describe plastisin.. bit late, but better late than never they say.

upon returning to my beloved room, i asked my roomate whether he knew what plastisin was. sort of a weird question to ask out of the blue, but i am a bit weird, so thats normal. and yes, he knew what they were.

fuh! was beginning to think i was a spoiled brat playing with plastisin when other people were playing with tanah liat sungai.

then, after a short chat with the roommate, (coz the brain still wasn't warmed up by then), it dawned on me, i may be from a different generation than these shopkeepers. the older shopkeeper, being older than me, may very well did play with tanah liat sungai during his kindergarten days, who knows when the plastisin was invented. but he couldn't be THAT older than me, he looks 20 - 30ish, i can't really tell, i come from a family of awet muda people. (eternally youthful? sigh, very limited vocab).

no joke, i once thought my maths teacher in Form 4 was as old as my grandmother, when thats not logical at all coz my grandmother was 76 at the time. turns out she wasn't even 40 yet, which makes her even younger than my mother, let alone my grandmother. yikes. (note to self : never guess people's age)

and for the younger shopkeeper, my guess is that kindergartens during his time was no longer going for 'fun and creativity' in their activities, maybe more towards 'logical thinking and intelligence', so he probably didn't get the chance to play with the plastisin.

who knows what these kids played with in their kindergarten? for all i know, he probably played with the rubiks cube before nap time and after nap time, solved some sudoku puzzles before playing a game of chess.

sigh, how things have changed. i feel slightly old.

slightly.

i feel that i am blessed in this department. i was one of the lucky few that got to skip standard 4 in primary school, meaning im one year younger than most of my peers. i am born in december, so you can add in another year there (i don't care what year it is, as long as its not my birthday yet, im still not 22! haha). top that off with the eternally youthful complexion i inherited from my parents and voila! 3 years younger me. haha.

okay2, the awet muda thing may not show that much NOW, but come see me in 40 years, and i'll show you!

but really, young, old, not of that matters when you're eating delicious ice cream.

yum yum.

haha. i think its something i just dont grow out of. ice cream. i still like ice cream now. still like it as much as i did 10 years ago. my parents aren't exactly helping either. kat Mekah dulu makan ice cream tiap2 hari sampai batuk2. haha. guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

wonder if kindergartens nowadays serve ice cream. or maybe they substituted it with supplement pills and Brands Chicken Essence. who knows.. (btw, brands commercial with dafi, arguably one of the stupidest commercials ive seen, which is ironic since its trying to promote that you'll be more intelligent by drinking the thing. "How come you're so smart?" "OH, BRANDS!" are-tard. sorry. so much for being less mean.)

although Westerners prefer to take appetizers first, main course second, desserts last (assuming its a 3-course meal, if there's even such a thing), i prefer to take the desserts first. we should really try to invent our own ways of doing things, instead of just following Westerners blindly for no particular reason.

plus, if i keep the ice cream in the fridge while i eat dinner, it might 'evaporate into thin air', but still, don't follow people blindly. We're better than that. and stealing other people's food. We're better than that as well. Blasted beruang. Maybe I'll write about him someday. or maybe i already have. can't recall tho.

take care. peace!

birthday wishes.

2010-01-12T01:46:00.000+08:00

although i said in the previous post not to, coz u shud be doing it on ur bday instead on new year's, i decided to do so anyways. consider this my list of things i want to do / achieve before my birthday next year, i mean this year..

1 .less clumsy

2. less forgetful

3. less mean to people (sarcastically or not)

4. friendlier to people i don't / barely know

5. be more confident when dealing with people

6. figure out what i'm going to do with my life

7. possibly start taking violin lessons again.

i'm extremely clumsy and forgetful. and it really gets on my nerves sometimes. nobody's fault really, just mine. i sometimes forget the most simple of things, but sometimes remember the smallest of details. just the way my brain works i suppose. it CAN remember these things, but sometimes the mind just blocks out some stuff that it thinks isn't important. which would explain my high-ignorance level. (not stupidity, well, maybe some stupidity, but more to my ability to ignore stuff.) and also my absent-minded-ness. if i wanted to get a pair of scissors for example, i look into the pencilbox and find my calculator, i'll then remember to calculate my homework and forget all about the scissors. i'm easily distracted, easily bored, which does not make me a very good listener, unless its something that interests me, or something juicy... lol.

so, my birthday resolution number one and two is to be less clumsy, (i.e break / destroy less stuff unintentionally.) and be less forgetful.

next thing on the list is be less mean to people. haha. i've been working on this for quite a while now. i can be very mean to people sometimes. most of the time unintentionally. very rarely intentionally, but it does happen. sometimes i am very sarcastic. sometimes sarcastically mean. most of the time i don't realize that i'm being mean, but i'm trying to change that. it's not that i'm mean to EVERYONE... it's just that i realize now that i haven't been very nice to some people in the past and could have been nicer. therefore i would like to be nicer. maybe a good spanking will lead me in the right direction... (or the wrong one... LOL).

see, i have this problem of talking to new people. i don't want to. i don't like talking to strangers. there's a reason why it's called "strangers". they're strange. STRANGER than strange. but it's not necessarily a good thing. sure when you're a kid its good not to talk to strangers, but as you grow up, its expected of you to do so, to socialize with people, and if you don't, people are going to think you're the strange one. and so i changed. when the need for it arises, i talk with people i don't know. friendly as hell. but if there's no need for it, i mind my own business. i couldn't care less if you're a ridiculously hot 21 year-old supermodel that's been eyeing me for the past half hour or someone that looks awfully familiar, i will not talk to you unless you talk to me first.

plus i tend to treat people like they're NPCs.

According to Wikipedia

A non-player character, often shortened to NPC, is a character that is controlled by the gamemaster in role-playing games. When this definition extends to video games, an NPC in a video game is usually part of the program, and not controlled by a human.

In games such as WoW, people only interact with NPCs when they need something. Lets say your character needs some food, you go to the NPC that sells food, you buy the food, you leave. People don't normally interact with NPCs, socialize with the NPCs, unless they're ridiculously bored and have nothing to do, then they might. (although wouldn't count on a response, except for those specially programmed NPCs). it would not be so polite if lets say you bought food from someone, almost everyday but never have the time to chat or at least know their name. i tend to do that sometimes. its bad, i know, but its not because im rude or anything, its just that i wouldn't know what to say, or what to talk about. i'm not exactly creative..

Imagine.

Penjual roti canai : Eh bos, u pun potong rambut dekat sini ka?

Me : Aah...

Penjual roti canai : Sudah abis cuti ka sekarang? Lama jugak tara nampak u.

Me : Aah...

Penjual roti canai : .....

(awkward silence)

Me : (trying to break awkward silence) err... hari ni banyak canai roti ke?

Penjual roti canai : .....

lol.

next item on the list would be.... more confident when dealing with people. yeah, very similar to the item before, due to my lack of interest in interacting with people, i also do not like dealing with people i don't know. it just feels very weird to ask someone you barely know to do something for you, or to ask something from them. maybe getting to know the person would help in this department. hmm.

The next one is a tough one. figuring out what to do with my life. Further studies? Work? Something else? So many choices. Throwing a dice would be an easy way to choose. But living with the choice afterwards? Not so easy. haha. Time will tell.

last but not least, violin. i learnt the basics here in UTP. FOC. but the very basics. can barely play on my own. due to the lack of violinists however, was absorbed into UTP Orchestra. performed twice, once during the Symphony Fest, the other during Convocation ceremony. Sadly, not long after, violin section was removed from the orchestra due to... musical differences with the new conductor. I like playing the violin. I may have loathed going to the training sessions, but once I got kicked out, that's when I realized how much I miss practicing the violin with my friends, no matter how awful I sounded at the time. haha.

Although I have my own violin, and generally speaking I can play it on my own, its not as fun / easy as it would be if I were in a group of people. playing on your own, being as knowledgeable about violins as those Islamophobes are about Islam, I can't really improve, nor do I enjoy the 'music' that comes out from my violin. at least when you're in a group your mistakes are not so obvious. haha. would really2 like to start learning it back.

that is all for now.

peace!

Blackjack!

2009-12-16T10:16:00.000+08:00

after posting a 368-word comment on someone else's blog which had almost no relevance whatsoever to what she was talking about, i decided to babble some more at my own blog, to avoid annoying other people. or perhaps annoy more people. :P

(luckily the word count for my comment did not exceed the word count for her blog, so the comment shouldn't be too annoying. lol.)

it's amazing really, when something strikes you, in that instant you can write so much based on that single thought. you can describe clearly, express your ideas so vividly in words that if people actually read what you wrote, they would see what you saw in your thoughts.

it is also amazing that when that moment passes, even though your head is bursting with ideas, you can't seem to find the words that would adequately describe them, therefore unable to put out your thoughts, however fascinating or incredible it may have been.

i sometimes find myself desperately wanting to write about something, which i think, in the hands of a more experienced and talented writer, would be a most interesting topic to talk about, but unable to do so due to lack of ... whats the word i'm looking for... yes this would be one of those moments.

I am now 21 years old. 21 years old and a week to be more precise. while i was younger, i found out that my birthday is the day alfred bernard nobel, the man who invented the dynamite, died. his invention was not the thing that caught everyone's attention, it was actually the way he affected the world in death that did so.

Alfred Nobel wrote the following in his will :

The whole of my remaining realizable estate shall be dealt with in the following way: the capital, invested in safe securities by my executors, shall constitute a fund, the interest on which shall be annually distributed in the form of prizes to those who, during the preceding year, shall have conferred the greatest benefit on mankind. The said interest shall be divided into five equal parts, which shall be apportioned as follows: one part to the person who shall have made the most important discovery or invention within the field of physics; one part to the person who shall have made the most important chemical discovery or improvement; one part to the person who shall have made the most important discovery within the domain of physiology or medicine; one part to the person who shall have produced in the field of literature the most outstanding work in an ideal direction; and one part to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses.

The 'prizes' are now more commonly known as the Nobel Prize. And it is on the day of his death every year, coincidentally my birthday that these prizes are given out.

Although I do not foresee myself winning one of the 5 Nobel prize categories anytime in the next millennium, it still is kind of cool to mention though. :P

This year is the second time I was unable to celebrate my birthday with my family. Seeing as how its in December, it would usually be during the holidays. But last year, I had my internship, plus my parents were away for their Haji.

I was 20 last year. I was working on my birthday. My parents were thousands of miles away. I actually felt like I was an adult. LoL. and this year, due to some complications that i myself caused, i was unable to go back home on my birthday, so i was stuck in UTP. lol.

despite not being able to go home, i still had a good time, thanks to the friends that i have. =)

it sucks when you want to write about something but can't seem to find anything worth writing. haihs.

instead of having resolutions on new year's day, people should have resolutions on their birthday. why? simple. having new year's resolutions would be disadvantageous to some people, especially people that were born in December, because of the lack of time. if you were born in December or any month for that matter, why should you make resolutions on January? YOUR year starts on the day you are born, not what some idiot thought up of 2 thousand years back. make any sense? no? think some more. it will. (or it may not, the mind is a difficult thing to comprehend, especially mine. hahah)

Another thing I don't like is how people tend to generalize age according to year. It is very unfair to people that are born in December. I was born in 1988. So in 2008 I would be 20 years old. but it is very unfair for people to say that I am 20 years old in January. I just had my 19th birthday 21 days ago! How can I already be referred to as 20 years old! My friend was born on the 31st of December. The next day he's already one year older?! How unfair is that!?

I also do not like how people discriminate by age. Just because someone is older / younger, doesn't mean they are more / less wiser, more / less attractive etc. I am one year younger than most of my friends. i skipped my standard 4 coz i didn't feel like it. lol. this makes me the youngest in my batch. while most people are okay with it, some do discriminate. especially girls. the thing about girls for some reason is they prefer to have an older guy rather than a younger guy. it doesn't matter how good-looking the guy is (ehem2.. haha) and how the older guy is almost as old as his dad (or grandpa for that matter), they would most likely prefer the older guy. something to do with them feeling safe, needing someone more matured, that can guide them, etc2. which i think is superbly stupid. but what do i know right, i'm one year younger than them. my mind is not yet fully developed to process any rational thought whatsoever. zz.

i do not like to discriminate. really i don't. i try not to most of the time. when someone makes a very stereotypical statement, i often would argue with them even though it didn't really offend me in any way. but in this world that we live in, we can't really avoid it. race. religion. skin colour. physical appearance. sexual orientation. nationality. favorite past time. date of birth. family background. anything under the sun can be discriminated against nowadays.

okay i've past the 1000 word barrier and i think i'm veering off course. plus my eyes are suddenly feeling heavy.

is it true that you get more boring the older you get? i'm starting to believe it after reading back my latest entries. zzz. i probably won't read my blog if i were you guys. in fact, what on earth are you still doing here? lol.

i'd like to believe that i'm further improving myself with each year. perhaps being less lazy, more confident, friendlier, less annoying, less sarcastic, more sarcastic (can't decide which is better), more intelligenter (tq to jack black for this line). perhaps actually having a plan on what to do with life.

my mother is currently hassling me to make up my mind whether to pursue a master's degree or start my career. i am not so sure yet. it is not something that i can just snap my fingers and decide on. i am really stuck in the middle. at the moment i have no actual preference. unless i can be successful by sleeping, eating and playing computer games, then nope, no actual preference yet.

yawn, getting even more sleepier with each word i type.

they say that a picture is worth a thousand words. really? what awful picture would this entry be equal to? lol. ok2, enough2. barely making any sense now.

that is all from the 21 year old boy. peace be upon you.

take care. :)

biggest loser

2009-11-28T08:34:00.000+08:00

no, the title is not referring to me. -_-"

and yes, i do feel that answering questions that people have not yet asked is cool, even though they weren't even planning on asking.

selamat hari raya korban everyone.

it's the holidays and i felt like updating.

good luck to everyone taking the SPM, especially my brother. atamanna laka kullataufiq.

i took arab last semester btw.

finishing the last semester means i only have one more semester to go before i graduate. which means i must be working sometime soon. which i do not know if i am ready to do.

i could postpone the working by studying. further studying. its not that bad of an idea, nowadays its so competitive, you'd want to get any advantage you can over other people. but then again actually working instead of just sitting around doing nothing would be a nice change for me.

i'm still figuring things out. honestly i wouldn't really know what i'd do my masters in, but lets not waste this blog entry thinking about those boring stuff.

what i wanted to talk about was the biggest loser. the reality tv show where you come in admitting you're fat and torture yourself to make yourself skinny.

there are some things in life skinny people can never understand i imagine, and the hardships of being fat may just be one of those life's mysteries thingy.

i was watching the show just now with my mother and these people were saying "oh i got this way because i never exercise" and "i wanna lose weight for myself / my daughter / my family etc2".

life isn't fair. no it isn't. these people were complaining they were fat and were crying on television in front of millions of people basically because, well, they were fat and they couldn't get thin. what i was thinking at the time was that they are millions of people all over the world that would not only cry, but probably cry out blood if it meant that they could be as fat as these guys.

life is never fair to some people coz we are constantly wanting what we don't have. skinny or starving people wanna be fat, really fat people really wanna be thin. and it really isn't anyone's fault whether they're thin or fat. most of the time.

i am a very bad example when it comes to body weight. i never exercise (even my character in Sims 3 doesn't like exercising). i like eating chocolate and ice cream. i sleep to the point it hurts my head sometimes. yet i am still underweight.

some people exercise all the time, go on diets, but still get fat. like i said, it's rarely that person's fault. but sometimes it is.

some people blame their low metabolism for the reason they're being fat. but exercising boosts your metabolism. so if you have low metabolism but you exercise, you'd still have normal or high metabolism. so, if you're fat and you think its coz of your low metabolism, exercise.

some people say they go on diets, but still they don't lose weight. i think the key here is mindset. i shall take the example of a friend of mine. he says he's on a diet, and he skips his lunch. BUT, anytime there's free food around, bye-bye diet. or maybe he skips lunch, but dinner time, eats double than what normal people would eat. tell me HOW is that in any way dieting?

more people should have my mindset when it comes to food if they want to become all underweight like me. if i'm hungry, and the food is just regular food, i'll just eat until i'm not hungry or skip the meal altogether. people might say its unhealthy to skip meals, and yes, it is unhealthy, but so is eating double than what you're supposed to. plus, there's a humongous difference between eat until you're not hungry and stuff yourself until you can barely breathe.

if you do skip meals, when you do eat, don't cover back what you skipped, coz that would defeat the purpose. just eat what you would normally eat. coz i think there's only one stage of hunger, at least for people in countries that aren't suffering from starvation, so don't go compensating for your imaginary extra stages of hunger.

why on earth am i writing tips for losing weight? i have no idea. this must be the most boring post ever. but seriously, it's just pathetic to see this people actually crying because they're fat. in the malay language we call being fat 'sehat' which is also the word for healthy. haha. if you're fat, you're healthy, which is not the case most of the time, but still, you're probably a lot healthier than the people that are starving themselves to death.

imagine that there are people starving, not having ANYTHING to eat AT ALL for the next month, that can't even cry even if they wanted to cry coz of lack of energy, and here we are crying our eyes out coz oh i had too much to eat. boohoo. that's just not right people.

i know i'm being really mean to people that are having weight problems, i've been skinny all my life, what do i know about how fat people feel. but i do know. the thing about us humans is that we really like to make things personal, rarely do we see things from other people's perspective. everyone has their own problems, yes everyone does have their own problems, only difference between fat people and everyone else is that their problem is physical, i.e everyone can see it.

what if someone is stupid. stupid as in not intelligent. what if someone is emotionally scarred. what if someone is having fears that he can't overcome. what if someone is heartbroken. what if someone is too thin to do something. what if someone is not good-looking. what if someone IS good-looking and is being judged more by his/ her looks than what he/she thinks. what if someone is having low self-esteem. what if someone is lonely and depressed. what if someone is addicted to drugs and hates himself for it but can't bring himself to stop using.

there are so many problems in this world. being fat is just one of them. suck it up. if you're not as smart as other people, study harder. if you're not as slim as other people, exercise harder, or wait, here's a thought, accept yourself as who you are and think about the people that are worse off than you. if you're skinny as hell and do not have any close friends around to hang out with during the weekends and spend your time updating your blog, screw what people think and have fun on your own. haha.

"Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy."

Bob Kelso from Scrubs.

ok enough crap for now. bubye. take care.

Be afraid. be very afraid.

2009-11-01T13:33:00.000+08:00

yes i am finally free.

which means i have some time to waste updating my blog.

yes i am aware that i did not blog in october.

because i was too busy with my studies.

huhu.

moving on. seeing as how its the critical week for most students, most of the blogs i frequently visit aren't being updated. or they're just using that as an excuse for not updating. (like me, sometimes :P). since no one is updating, i might as well update mine.

few weeks back, i went home despite threats of doom from my plant design project mates, specifically the girl in the group, lets call her lady gagah. ahaha. see everyone is under immense pressure of meeting the deadline, and blissfully happy me has the time to go home, so some people weren't too happy about it. haha. but i went home anyways. its not like i didn't do my work or anything. just had to go home for some errands i needed to take care of.

anyways, not what i wanted to talk about. fast forward, it was almost sunrise, i was going to sleep after working hard on my part of plant design report, (in case my group mates decided to read), when i saw something on my bedroom floor....

that suddenly moved.

.

oh my god what the bloody f**k!

.

.

katak rupanya. syaitan betul.

i have never been a big fan of frogs. just don't like em.

or any reptiles for that matter. jap, are frogs reptiles?

amphibians kot. tak kisah la.

after screaming like a little girl, i tried to lead the frog out of the house. its too gooey for me to be touching it, so i was like guiding it on where to go rather than picking it up like a man should. hahaha.

and continued yelping like a sissy everytime it decided to jump in an opposite direction.

gosh if there were girls in the house at the time, i'd probably never end up getting married. hahaha.

after much directing, much jumping done by both the frog and myself, (perhaps i was jumping a bit more than the frog), i finally led the amphibian out of the house. fuh. took me awhile too. hour plus i think, because i couldn't get it to go where its supposed to go. they should make this a sport, frog-directing.

let's hope for my sake the frog doesn't go telling on me to a princess that tries to kiss it. that would be embarassing.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="222" caption="frog prince yang kecik hati kerana aku takut ngan dia."][/caption]

some things that you're afraid of when you're little, but there are some things you're just afraid of, no matter how old you are, and no matter what you do about it.

when i was little, i was so afraid of the dark and/or ghosts. like really, really afraid. everytime i wanted to take a shower, i'd need to have someone accompany me and stay outside the door. and i'd be trying to force my eyes open everytime i take a bath, so that i can see if there are any ghosts lurking around. haha. scaredy cat.

but that was when i was little. haha. i think maybe the ghosts are afraid of me nowadays, being so sarcasticly evil.

i was also afraid of heights. and i still am. see there are things you can overcome, like fear of ghosts and stuff. but some, you can't. as far as i can remember, i've been trying to get rid of my fear of heights. everytime i go somewhere high, i try to look down to the ground below and get rid of it. but its just not possible. no matter what. no matter how many times i try, that fear will still be there.

haihs.

but, they say that courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. how this applies to my fear of heights, i do not know. hahha

people say that what you are afraid of now usually has something to do with what you were frightened with as a child. some people are afraid of cats, however unbelievably cute some kittens may be, some people are afraid of cats, probably because a cat scratched them when they were little, maybe.

i don't think anyone ever frightened me with ghosts or frogs or anything when i was a kid. frogs are just gooey. its not fear. its unlike-ness. haha. i do not fear frogs, i only dislike them.

what else. oh yes, i have a weird fear of talking to people i'm not familiar with. it takes a lot of courage for me to go talking to someone i've never talked with. it sometimes is ridiculously hard for me to go talking to someone, so i just shy away unnoticed, and sometimes its not just people i don't know, sometimes even with people i know, i'm a bit hesitant to go talk to them. this particular trait of mine sometimes makes matters more complicated than it should be.

haihs.

although i might go around boasting what a smooth-talker i am, in truth i'm not. well not naturally. if you see me smooth-talking someone, yea thats probably not me. haha. or high from sleeping too much.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="260" caption="yes, this might be me, if i was 7 years old. (or mat salleh)"][/caption]

the reason why i never posted pictures in my blog before is because its kinda difficult with the friendster blog. im not sure how its like with blogger and all that, but its a bit difficult with friendster. but i thought i'd give you guys and girls a treat this time. (and also because i don't have much of anything else to say). o yea, i dislike troublesome things, but then again, who does.

fear of hurting someone's feelings. yes. that's another fear. the thing about being sarcastic all the time, you sometimes go overboard on the sarcasm and hurt someone's feelings. and it has happened quite often to me. if you are one of the people that has been offended by me in the past, i truly am sorry and it probably wasn't my intention to do so. probably. hahaha. (see how bad i am, its a miracle i still have friends).

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="342" caption="the dog might very well be me."][/caption]

ok i'm getting bored. i dislike being bored. while writing this i actually went reading some random singaporean girl's blog coz she looked pretty in her profile pic. lol. what to do, a guy is still a guy, unless he's gay. hope ya enjoyed the post with the pictures.

till next time, take care friends.

all the best in life.

(no i am not being sarcastic..)
.

.

(i think)

31 posts old

2009-09-25T09:36:00.000+08:00

i must warn the readers that there is a possibility that you might be offended with this post, especially if you like photography. if you are easily offended, steer clear from this post. in case you decided to ignore this warning, i am sorry. everyone's entitled to their own opinion right. although mine could be dead wrong. :P

happy birthday!

no, not to my blog, although this is the 31st post.

to everyone that celebrated their birthday recently. :P

my cousin's birthday is on the 1st day of raya. how fun is that?! haha. so instead of just eating nasi himpit and ketupat and lemang, we ate cake as well. yeay for the soon-to-be overweight us. :P (and to some cousins that are already overweight. wahaha!)

oh yea, selamat hari raya! lol. that should be the first thing i said. zzz. must set priorities straight next time. and maaf zahir batin juga. or in english, sorry for the obvious and not so obvious things...

hmm. didn't really have anything to write about. really this time. ah, here's something. seems like everyone has a degree nowadays. and here i thought i was somehow special because i (almost) have a degree. zzz. how uncool. i dunno if most people know this, but i don't like to be... similar to other people. i prefer to be different. i don't think its a cry for attention, i simply dislike being similar to other people, i do not like following trends, i try to break away from the crowd.

example? to be completely honest, i like photography. no, not the art of buying expensive cameras and then showing it off to the world as if the camera makes you a cameramen, the art of taking beautiful pictures, regardless of what camera you use. see, i found out i liked photography a long time ago, before it became a craze, at least it was before the craze, coz i don't seem to recall anyone talking about it then. and the camera that i used? my VGA quality phone camera. haha. some ppl might notice that in my camera phone, where there should be pictures of myself posing vainly, pictures of other human beings that are close to me, are pictures of inanimate objects, weird things and bizarre scenery. again, honestly, im very stiff, definitely not photogenic, if thats how you spell it. so even though at times i do try to pose and get a good photo of myself, i seldom succeed. haha.

anyways, getting back to the photography thing, i also realised that taking good pictures of other people are hard as well. i prefer candid shots, but its so hard to actually catch a very good one, unless you're actually talented, which i'm not. haha. so i like taking pictures of things that don't normally move. hence pictures of scenery, inanimate objects, and other weird things. but i've never actually told anyone i like taking pictures. and it really didn't occur to me to get those expensive cameras to improve the quality of the pictures, coz they aren't that nice to begin with. haha. its just something i do for my own pleasure.

but nowadays, seems like every single human being is a 'photographer'. everyone boasting their new DSLR or DSL modem (lol) or whatever it is and are actually going for photoshoots to satisfy their thirst for great photo-capturing or whatever the hell they call what they're doing. lol. sorry.

i really must voice out my opinion on this one. first off, having a very good camera doesn't mean you're a photographer that suddenly has the urge or more appropriately put the caliber or more bluntly put actual talent to actually pull off a photoshoot, it just means you're a camera owner. that's it. nothing more. (credit to my friend for telling me this. :) )

secondly, while the presence of beautiful girls and beautiful scenery does make the photograph more beautiful (obviously), it does not mean that since it was you that took the photograph, it automatically turns you into a talented photographer because the picture was beautiful. any moron can go take pictures of a beautiful girl and the pictures will turn out pretty no matter what he does. BUT, it takes skill to take pictures of a mundane, uninteresting thing and make it look extraordinary, magical.

again, sorry. i do not mean to offend, but there are some things that i just can't stand. i rarely go rant-ing (without the hyphen it looks like a branch. lol) like this, but when i do, someone's bound to be pissed off. haha. and who can blame them.

so, er, getting back to what i was talking about previously, i actually do like photography, but since everyone's doing it now, it really annoys me. haha. poyo giler. but that's me. i can't change who i am. i wanted to make a list of things that i do that are different, but there aren't that many that i can think of at the moment. ah, this blog? why the hell haven't i moved out of friendster when everyone has already moved on to better places? thats one. handphone? using motorola, instead of nokia / sony-ericsson. laptop? dell. watch? fossil. not that unique nowadays, but have not met another person with the same exact design, ever.

once you think about it, it really does make sense. even my name is unique / different from others. i don't think ive ever met someone named yasin in person. even abdullah, although a somewhat common name, is not someone i bump into regularly. o yeaa, speaking about names, what's the deal with Malays naming their children with English / weird names? are Islamic / Arabic / Malay names not good enough for their children? i do not mean to be rude especially to those named this way, but your name will somewhat affect what you will become in the future. the closest example would be me. unique name, very unique, almost alien-like personality / interests. haha.

and sometimes, the names are almost impossible to pronounce. arcturus? nymphadora? obama? haha. you can't even tell if its a he or a she sometimes. really. in my humblest of opinions, a name should hold a meaning. it should mean something good or worthy of mentioning. if your name is epal merah bin jantan, you can't even be proud of that. for all we know, you're someone's favorite fruit.

lets take my name for example. my real name is abdullah yasin. granted, it's not the most common of names, but its full of meaning, at least i think so. abdullah means slave of God. yasin, i'm not entirely sure, but i've been told it refers to a prophet. now, the actual person might not be much, but the name abdullah yasin represents someone that is religious, devoted to God, perhaps the best man can be, as man was put on this Earth to be a servant of God anyways. Muslims believe that anything that comes out of our mouths is indirectly a prayer, which is why in Malay culture we rarely or try to avoid saying bad things. example, scolding a naughty boy "aih bertuahnye budak ni pergi conteng dinding". same thing goes for names. we give, or i should say we should have given good names to children in the sense that we pray for the child to live up to his / her name. but people nowadays are so caught up in the glitz and glamour of hollywood, we probably will be seeing names like keanu reeves jonas pitt bin jantan very soon...

but honestly, who am i to judge other people. i'm a nobody really. for all i know, tomorrow or maybe the day after that i will be going out and spending tons of cash on a camera i barely know how to use and post on facebook "I iz expert photographer. I haz expensive camera". (might just do that, for more sarcastic reasons. haha). or maybe when it's my turn to name my own son / daughter, i'd probably forget all about my rambles and rants here and name him / her alfonso de al gore-o-bama. or since i like computers so much, motherboardeina. haha. meaningful what.... computer savvy. motherly. haha. if its a boy, joystickaram sings wall-e. @_@

ok. must stop before i offend more people. but no offense to obama though, the name kinda rolls off the tongue, dont ya think? obama.. obama.. obama... haha. lastly, the most important tradition in my opinion during the raya month, maaf zahir dan batin to all. :)

peace. take care!

confusing

2009-08-19T00:14:00.000+08:00

i have a meeting with my Final Year project supervisor tomorrow at 8 a.m. its 2.20 a.m now. its not exactly the most suitable time for me to be updating my blog, but what the hell. i never really did care about the concept of time and how much hours of sleep a normal human being should have.

honestly, i haven't been that busy at all. really, not that busy. but definitely very busy compared to before. lol. so it kinda bothered, not stopped, my usual wasting of time.

there has been a lot on my mind recently. well there is always a lot on my mind, but now i figured there's MORE, so its a lot more than usual. see what i mean? writing nonsensical sentences. lol

realize it or not, its my final year. in this university. it feels weird, trying to figure out, where all that time went. maybe i left it under my bed. zzz.

a couple of friends have already graduated. some have even got their jobs and are starting very soon. wow. ah, but thats now what i wanted to talk about. what i wanted to talk about was how inconsiderate of a friend i was.

it was their convocation. a once-in-a-lifetime thing. and i couldn't even wake up early to show my support. honestly i felt like crap. well, i probably felt more sleepy than guilty, coz i went back to sleep even after waking up. but still, i shouldn'tve done that.

honestly, i wanted to go to kl. um. to see one close friend's graduation. well actually there were 2 friends that were graduating, but one's convocation was in the middle of the week, so i can't really skip class to go. well, i CAN skip, but i do not want to. i'm proud to say that i have not skipped ANY class AT ALL this semester. yeay for me! :)

anyways, as i was planning to actually go to the friend's convocation, i found out that UTP's convocation is on the same weekend. crap. i do have friends here as well that are graduating. so i decided not to go to kl, to be here for the friends here's convocation.

which i in the end missed.

what kind of a friend am i?

well, to be fair, i don't really think i'm THAT close with them, but its just good manners. doesn't have to be super duper close to actually go to someone's convocation. sigh. sorry friends.

honestly, people must think im a real jerk. haha. and who can blame them, i am. sometimes.

maybe its just because people just don't know me.

but how can people actually get to know me if i don't really give them a chance?

[thinks...]

i dunno. some people managed to do it. so its not entirely impossible now is it?

sigh.

why just today, someone said "lawak gak ko nih". in a way that implied that she previously thought i was NOT FUNNY.

@_@

and here i thought i was being funny all this while. zzz. remind me not to try out to be a comedian any time soon.

i guess people judge by what they see. as do i.

i must admit im definitely the most warm person to talk to. definitely not the most friendly person. oh and have i mentioned i have this thing where i don't like people that are too cheerful?

no i do NOT hate kittens and no, i am NOT a psychopath. at least i dont think so.

but really, do i care what people think of me? [answer : yes]

its hard not to care what people think of you when your life revolves around you AND other people. BUT,... i will not do anything i would not want to do JUST to change what people think of me. for instance, i'm not going to suddenly go all-happy and cheery all of a sudden and suddenly be all-talkative to everyone.

HELL NO.

i'm just going to be the usual lazy-looking, keeps-to-his-friends me. in short, i care about what people think of me, but not enough to do anything about it. hahaha.

but there are people that i listen to. i mean, i do listen to my friends. i do listen to my family. there was a time in the past where people actually came to me to talk about their problems. why? well, i'm not entirely sure, but i THINK its because i try not to judge. or at the very least not tell it to their face and be mean and shit. haha.

there was one time when a friend of mine was telling me about her new boyfriend. i asked her what happened to her old boyfriend. and so she went about how she was with her boyfriend and then another guy came into the picture and at one time she had TWO boyfriends and etc2.

i could've just said to her what a "bad person" (refraining from using bad words :P) she was for doing such a thing but instead i just listened, with the occasional voicing out my more polite thoughts. sometimes the reason people talk to others is not to ask for advise, not to be judged, but just to let it out. to be able to tell someone, or just share it with someone is a huge relief on its own.

usually what i do when i write a post is that i re-read everything i type so that it actually makes sense to people when they read it. well not this time. haha. i digress.

what was it i was talking about again?

[scrolls back up]

ah, so its convo, bad friend, people not knowing me, not caring what people think, used to be a good friend....

you know, sometimes when i read other people's blog, i wonder if my blog will ever be this interesting. haha. coz some bloggers are really good story-tellers. (totally out of the blue, i know)

okay! moral of the story.

be a good friend.

ATTEND ur friends convo.

do not judge people even though it isn't really your fault sometimes

do not change who you are for people who couldn't care less

DO CHANGE yourself for the better for YOURSELF and people that do care!

try to make sense when you blog (put yourself in the reader's shoes)

always get enough sleep before meeting your lecturer.

i should go to bed before i confuse people even more. selamat berpuasa!

take care. :)

bright side of life

2009-07-24T22:55:00.000+08:00

hi.

its the first week of the semester, and so far.... im sorta liking the schedule that i have. its a 20-credit hour semester, and still i have so much free time. haha. although im somewhat jealous that some friends are even more free-er than i am. they get extra 2 days off. zzzz.

but having too much free time can be boring, especially for me if i can't play any games. zzz. i can't do anything else, so as you can see, i'm blogging more often. lol. gosh, starting to miss sunway piramid. hahah.

it is 12:50 p.m. i just woke up a few minutes ago. after finding that my roommate has gone missing, (probably went for mandarin class), i have lost the will to do anything beneficial at all and decided to wait until my stomach gets hungry before going down to eat. haha. what a loser.

i guess what the first week has taught me is that even with so much free time, it is worthless if you don't know how to use it properly. zzz. there's only so much time you can sleep for one day before the sleep becomes eternal. erk. haha.

i have this one friend. honestly i think he's miserable in his university. he always complains in his blogs that "oh what a pain going back to U is" and "oh how i will miss my home" and etc. at first its quite amusing to read this stuff, but after countless more posts, its just starts to get a wee bit boring borderline pathetic, really. haha. no offense.

ive never really told anyone here in utp, (especially that friend of mine), but i actually WANTED to come here before i was even accepted. see, when i was in form 5, i followed a field trip to UTP. and so they, the tourguides, were promoting this and that, perhaps sometimes blowing things out of proportions, and me, being the gullible idiot that i was back then (and now also probably, haha) bought the whole thing.

on second thought, i think it wasn't the tourguide that influenced me that much to come here. i think it was the scenery. the infrastructure. after all, UTP did win the Aga Khan award for infrastructure. anyways, this was the first university that i ever visited anywhere, and i thought, "wow, this is one hell of a university". yeah, i actually judged how good a university was by its looks. how shallow am i. zzz.

and so, with the thought of the nice green environment and modern design of the buildings, i said to myself, "im coming back here again someday". its funny how with age your thinking changes, because i was completely mesmerized by the beauty of the university at the time, i didnt even think about how is its standard of education, is the position of the university strategic, and all that. but then again, teens are like that. they seldom think that much. haha. (sedih im no longer a teen. lol)

after my spm, i tried entering the university, but unfortunately my results were not that satisfactory according to my mother's standards (coz my father didn't really say that much) and obviously, the university's standards. and so, i had to settle with going for matriculation. i made it my target to apply for a matriculation center that is NOT in perak, coz i wanted to travel. i didn't want to stay cooped up here. i wanted to see the world.

at first i wanted to put labuan as my first choice, but that was Damn far away, and my mother would never allow that. haha. so i settled with places that my parents would actually be able to visit me without that much difficulty. my choice for matriculation, in order was PasUM, penang and perak. guess im not that big of a jerk, i still consider what other ppl think. haha.

i do not know if my mother pulled some strings or what (coz sometimes she does), but i got into my first choice. PasUM. and honestly i enjoyed it immensely there. i had a close group of friends there, more closer than any friends i ever made previously, and we still keep in touch from time to time. plus, the shopping malls were THAT close, and i went out for enjoyment every week that i did not run out of money. haha.

then, after pasum, i was given two choices. study mechanical engineering in UM, or study chemical engineering in UTP. i would like to point out that i have not gotten a scholarship at this point, and it costs quite a bunch to study in UTP. furthermore, (ceh, mcm technical writing plak. haha), all my friends are in UM. well, most of them anyways. but.... UTP is offering me the course that I actually want. sigh.

so the 2 choices were, go to UTP and study something that you were planning on studying ALONE, or go to UM and study something that you did not plan on studying (but did not mind to study anyways) and hang out with your friends all the time. it was the toughest decision i had to make, ever. i was thinking of how it would suck to go to a new foreign place with no familiar faces whatsoever and at the same time how stupid it would be if i chose something just to follow my friends.

and so, after a few days of thinking, i decided. i decided that i was going to go with something that i had planned earlier in life and brave it out on my own, no matter what happens. i decided i was going to be a UTP student. hoho. how brave~

and so here i am. i do not deny that i miss hanging out with my friends (especially when they hung out in KL but i couldn't join coz i was stuck in UTP. zzzz), but at the same time, looking back, i would not change what i did. i miss pasum, i miss my internship life, i miss my house, i miss my friends, i miss my family. but in life you have to screw all that and make do with what you DO have. so i'm trying to enjoy life as it is. and looks like im doing it. :)

except for when DC++ is down and i cant download the movies / series. zz wtf.

i doubt that my friend is reading this, but in the off-chance that he does, enjoy life as it is. suck it up already. life isn't pretty, ONLY if you see it that way. as the song says, always look on the bright side of life.

okay, getting hungry now.

till next time, take care

:D

p/s : i must admit that i am a bit of a coward, coz i did not comment / say anything on his blog. lol. nvm. he probably won't be too happy seeing a 1000+ comment thats longer than his posts COMBINED anyways. haha.

the dark side

2009-07-02T11:32:00.000+08:00

the thing about doing your final internship report is that, after spending the whole day writing something, the last thing you'd look for to escape your days work is write a blog....

and that is the reason i did not blog in june. :)

anyways, still working on the final report, still a little bit lazy to write my blog, but ive been putting it off for too long, so here goes.

...

...

...

cant think of anything. sigh.

okay starting for real now.

life is pretty simple for me now. been going to work late, and coming home early, and not doing much work in between. lol. (no, this is not a smiley of one guy holding both his hands up, its L.O.L, as in laugh out loud. zzz)

with the coming of the juniors, (i have 2 under me btw), life has been pretty sweet. i passed all my tasks to them, saying its all part of the "hands-on training". hoho. smart eh. while they're toiling away with the hard labour, im chilling at the lab, away from my supervisors' eyes, and doing my final internship report, and some facebooking as well. hihi. okay, sometimes maybe more fb-ing than report-writing.

actually i did mean what i said about the "hands-on training". i really did mean for them to learn everything while im still there. (if you actually thought im bullying my juniors coz im super lazy, shame on you!). coz honestly my senior did a pretty bad job of passing the torch on. and i dont wanna be a pain like her now do I?

anyhow, since my tasks are now divided amongst two people, its not that bad for them. they still have time to chill. which is good, i think. too much stress is never good.

i'd like to think i have a very high tolerance to stress. or as my kelantanese roommate once put it, "a very high ignorance level". or as I'd like to put it, I'm just uber cool. haha.

but to be frank, I'm not that cool actually. I always get stressed out. sometimes for the smallest of reasons. it's just that i don't show it. i have a very emotionless face sometimes. a friend i once went out with said i'd make a very bad haggler (i.e : penawar harga barang jadi rendah). coz even if the price was real pricey, i'd not show the slightest hint of shock or any relevant emotion whatsoever (coz i can't think of another emotion one would portray at the moment. see how emotionless i am sometimes?! lol)

i try to keep my cool. it would probably be uncool to show how shocked you are at the price of a GFX card for example (find the word that shows im a computer addict). however, that uncoolness would probably get you a better price. which is probably why sometimes girls make better hagglers. (yes, in general guys ar cooler than girls. haha) which is also why i always bring my mother along when i plan on buying something expensive. haha.

okay, ive lost track of what i was saying and do not know how to proceed.

oh, did i mention my internship ends next week?

(refer back here later)

WOOT!

(woot! is kinda like yeay!, only more nerdy)

ah, sidetracking a bit. please dont be too offended if i type or text you "wtf". its not as offensive as you might think. it depends on the usage really. usually, if a wtf is preceded or followed by a lol, as in "lol wtf" or "wtf lol", its not meant to be hurtful. really depends on the occasion you're using it and who you're using it with. an appropriate example would be saying to your close friend "bodoh la ko..". its not offensive as compared to saying it to someone you JUST met. get it? :)

(if you still dont get it then stfu and dont use wtf k. haha. lol.)

the reason for the long explanation is that i said lol wtf to someone the other day, and she got upset. guess she's not that big of a cyber geek as me. lol wtf. haha.

ah. since im elaborating so much on the use of internet shortforms, maybe i should explain a few here....

wait, that would be boring...

wait again, it already IS boring...

....

moving on, lol.

....

(i seem to be stuck. crap.)

sigh, if only i could type up my report as fast as this. haha. as of right now, my report is around 7000 words long. if im not mistaken it was 6000 words yesterday. not bad eh. i jokingly said to a friend the other day, in malay, "this is 6 months work cramped into a few weeks!". "how so?", the friend asks. "coz my blog is roughly 1000 words per entry and i only write once a month, and that's if im feeling hardworking... (rasa rajin. lol)."

lol.

i am never good at goodbyes or anything that's remotely sad. despite my cool exterior (lol), i am quite soft on the inside (except for the bones). i tend to suddenly reminisce on all the good times ive spent with that person and suddenly feel the need to justify all the un-nice things he / she has done to me, and suddenly feel sad that he / she is leaving.

and it is a feeling that sucks. zzzz.

(no, the "zzzz" does not mean ive fallen asleep.)

(although it COULD mean someone reading this has. lol.)

okay, getting back to what i was saying (please refer back). my internship finishes next week. it is a mixture of feelings. im feeling glad, and also slightly sad. regardless of how much i disliked the tons of work, the un-appreciation of work or effort, the being-looked-down-upon feeling, there were some good times. to say that i totally hated the experience would be a lie. all in all, it was a very good learning experience, no matter how hard it may be at times, i enjoyed and will cherish every moment of the 32 weeks journey.

for a 20 year old boy (yes i still think im a boy, thank you), 8 months is quite a long time. and now its coming to an end. im awfully happy that its finally coming to an end. haha. (told ya it was a mixture of feelings).

....

....

yea, im running out of things to say.

last week, one of the trainees at J&J finished her internship period (not the other period ok. lol). i am unsure how it happened, but me and her ended up exchanging farewell gifts with each other. lol. she gave me this glass tablet with a poem titled "friendship" engraved on it. which i must say is extremely thoughtful.

i, being the extremely-good-at-picking-gifts guy that i am, bought her a mug.

yes, a mug.

and painted on that mug is.....

(adding a pause to create excitement and anticipation)

"Good Morning. Let the stress begin!"

how thoughtful.

wtf. wtf. wtf. wtf.

i was cursing myself the entire trip back home after work. in defense of myself and my extremely inappropriate gift, i was looking for something to give to her that upon looking on it, would definitely remind her of the fun and crazy me.

not the heartless, sorry-excuse-for-a friend me.

besides cursing myself and being the laughing stock of the friend that drove me home, i was frantically thinking of how to salvage this situation (or friendship, perhaps). i mean, one gift can change everything! and so, after my friend's laughter has died out (although i swear i can still hear him laughing after dropping me off), i followed my most feminine instincts (lol) and texted from the heart.

with fingers crossed, i texted (although how one would text / sms with his fingers crossed is beyond me)

"Hello. Saya sudah buka u punya hadiah. So touching :) Probably shud hav given u something similar, but then it wud not be sumthing that reminds u of me especially. :) Take care!"

Fingers still crossed, i waited for the reply.

First 30 seconds passed, no reply.

5 minutes, still no reply.

10 minutes, nothing.

.

.

.

.

zzzz.

(I fell asleep)

lol. i just came back from work, of course im tired!

and then it came. it woke me up from the nap i accidentally took with my fingers still crossed (which is probably not good for the fingers, but who cares really). half awake, i read the reply.

"Haha, ur cup realy wil make me remember u always, if have destiny, hope we can meet again, take care also, yaxin from johnsin & johnsin :-D"

FUH! LEGA!

that was a close one.

in my semi-conscious state, i almost replied " bukan cup la, mug.", but thank God my brain was functioning more properly than when i bought the mug.

note to self : when buying a gift for a girl next time, ignore all sense of sarcasm and buy something lovey dovey.

there is a very fine line between being nice and being mean. good and evil. funny sarcasm and not-funny-at-all-borderline-cruel sarcasm. pray you don't accidentally slip to the dark side.

till next time, cheers!

take care.

ciao. :)

p/s : in case your wondering, johnsin & johnsin is not a typo error, just a friend joke that me and the ppl at J&J understand. although yaxin might be a typo. or she doesn't know how to spell my name. lol. at least we're still talking :P

not time yet.

2009-05-25T10:43:00.000+08:00

ok. dah update. bye bye blog. haha.

(ditarik telinga oleh blog utk teruskan)

ouch.

er, hi. honestly i had not planned at all to update my blog tonight, but after reading a comment from a friend at his blog, i decided to show him how my mind is chock-full of so many ideas and stories that i can conjure up a 1000 word blog just like that (snaps his fingers).

how foolishly arrogant humans can be sometimes.

(thinking of the next line..)

After several tries to see the definition of finger snap on wiki failed miserably (stupid internet), I decided to write about something else.

Lately my mind has been thinking about my coming semester. In few weeks time, I shall be a senior. (still clicking "Try again" button on wiki page) I may be somewhat influenced by my increasingly jiwang and desperate friends (penghargaan ke sapik), but my mind keeps thinking about how almost everyone is rushing to find themselves a life partner.

Apparently, most find it extremely difficult to find a partner after university years. Even the most unexpected of people have a bf/gf. (not-so-vague hint : current kelantanese roommate ). It is quite hard to digest that the people that usually condemn the "coupling" phenomena (i.e: Rakan Masjid), are joining in the supposedly hedonistic trend. (not referring to my roommate, but others perhaps). If I may quote a line from a book i just finished reading last weekend (and have been waiting for its sequel ever since), "Even Holy Men are men".

If there's one thing I do not like, it's hypocrites. I hope I'm not a hypocrite, but in truth, we all are, some perhaps more than others. Yes, we are. The way I act when I'm with my parents is a bit different from the way I act with my friends. Not a different person altogether, but slightly different, mostly out of respect. And I'm pretty sure most people are the same.

Getting back to my original topic, when I think about my university years slowly but surely coming to an end, I start to think if I'm actually going to find someone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not desperate to the point I imagine myself going to the zoo with my girlfriend to look at elephants (penghargaan kedua kepada sapik), its just that the thought of it pops into my head sometimes and it makes me somewhat worried. Moreover most of my close friends are already planning when they're getting married. WTF!

Gosh, how depressing is the blog this time. honestly I don't like to write depressing blogs. I dunno, there is enough pain in this world as it is, why spread around more?

There's this one person in my office. He's a real pain in the "donkey" when it comes to work, but apart from work, he's actually a nice guy i think. A bit dorky, but overall a nice person. Friendly, humorous (although at times over the top), sarcastic are words that one would use to describe him. I would also like to note here that this person is NOT me. haha. He's actually around 30 years old.

He has a job that he seems to enjoy, a respected position in a multinational company, somewhat plain-looking but not the ugliest in the bunch, and an overall nice personality. The thing that bothers me the most about him is that he's not married.

And in more ways than one, I see myself in this person. I have big ambitions. I work hard (compared to other interns).What if I'm to turn to into him in a couple of years? Who's to say I'm not? Perhaps the reason he works so bloody hard is to overcome overwhelm the loneliness? He seems to have no problem talking to women, so why is he not married?! Surely women have married (and divorced) people that are worse than him, yet why is this person, (however he obnoxious might be sometimes due to his no-way-but-my-way attitude), not married?

Is it because he did not find himself a girlfriend during his university years? My parents didn't meet each other at the university. But that was years ago. Who knows, perhaps the trend has changed nowadays. Perhaps it was just not meant to be for him? Obviously I do not want it to happen to me also, but what should I do? zzz. This sucks. Maybe my laid-back attitude will not help in this department. lol. After all, as my friend said, the well will not go looking for the timber. lol. (penghargaan kepada sado on the well-rojaked proverb. almost didn't spot what was wrong the first time)

Honestly, I don't think I'm fully ready for commitment. It's hard for me to imagine I'm only allowed to speak to only ONE girl and not be allowed to go out with other girls, if only for a casual outing. Because that's what marriage is. It is highly unacceptable for a husband to go out with a female friend of his, and it is also the same scenario for the wife. The husband is bound by custom and culture to go out only with his guy-friends and the wife is also allowed to go out with her girl friends only.

I can't imagine how, or why for that matter would I limit myself to these rules and restrictions. Sure, most of the time I hang out with my guy-friends, but sometimes I do get bored and I do ask my girl friends to go out. And sometimes its only me and the girl. Honestly, its just an outing, it is hardly romantic, I just enjoy talking to a girl sometimes.

Okay, okay, fair enough, even if I had a girlfriend, I would still be able to go out with my girl friends, but to what extent? Surely the girlfriend would limit what I can and cannot do, and at some point, she might will get jealous no matter how much I tell her she's the only one bla3, we're only human. I'd probably be jealous too if a guy constantly asks my girl out.

... lost track of the reason i'm writing. how appropriate that my playlist is currently playing The Reason by Hoobastank.

I just want you to know,

I've found a reason for me,

To change who I used to be,

A reason to start over new,

And the reason is you...

Sigh, it's amazing how the hardest of questions can be answered with the simplest arrangement of words in a song.

When you're married (or perhaps in most of my peers case, found true love), you don't really care about anyone else, well, not as much as that special someone. you don't mind not talking to your other girl-friends, as long as you can talk to that one person, if only for the briefest of moments. Sacrifices have to be made, but when the right person comes along, you'd do it in a heartbeat.

I understand now why some friends of mine did the things they do. I was ignorant then, I was arrogant, I still am.

Maybe my time is not here yet. Maybe it never will be.

I'm hoping it will be.

Whenever that may be.

Till next time, take care. Peace.

whenever that may be.

2009-04-19T11:12:00.000+08:00

it is beyond my own understanding as to why tonight is special. perhaps it is the first time i went to the local pasar malam, after so many months of staying here. perhaps its because of the 11pm bath i just took as it was so hot and humid (typical malaysian weather). perhaps its because its monday tomorrow, and im just looking for a reason not to sleep. in my books, its not tomorrow until you sleep, tomorrow does not start at 12 am. whatever it is or was, it got me to write in my blog, so it was a good thing.

as i struggle to type while being in the dark, (literally, as my roommates wanna sleep and they turned off the lights), i again began to wonder what was it i wanted to write in this old, dusty (conceptually) blog.

after so many months of no updates, no one would ever visit this blog again. hell, even i dont visit this blog anymore. haha. perhaps that would be best. no pressure to update. which is what i intended for in the first place.

the thing about not writing for so long, so many months, so many minutes, (i like arranging the words this way, makes it and me sound epic and sophisticated. haha), you'd have so many things to write about, you won't know where to start first. for goodness sake, some people blog every single day, and they still have loads of things to write about. my life is just not that interesting. haha. with that being said, let us begin.

death has come and claimed a life of something close to me today. it was something very close to me, without it i feel so helpless in today's cyber-fast world. alas, life must go on, and it too, if given the gift of thought and speech, would not want me to mourn its passing. thus i bid farewell to my dear mouse, you have been a dear friend for these past months. no, i am not talking about my hamster, i am talking about my mouse, as in "click click" not "cheep cheep". haha. if hamsters actually go "cheep cheep". haha.

"what will happen to a face in a crowd when it gets too crowded?"

with a crowd of 6 billion people at the moment, does our individual existence on this earth really matter? what does one more human being mean? honestly, i myself do not know, as i myself am one of those faces in the crowd. perhaps jason mraz would know, as he seems like an intelligent person, plus he was the one that thought up of the quote above. its in one of his songs. and just so happens i was listening to it when i was writing. thought it was something interesting to share, something to get the juices flowing, apart from the usual brain numbing stuff i write. haha.

have you ever been to an f1 race? one word describes it. loud. ridiculously loud. i would not recommend one that has a weak heart or a low maximum safe threshold of hearing to go to one. but for someone like me, (lazy and sarcastic) (no, not lazy and sarcastic, likes fast cars and can handle loud noises. haha), it is worth every penny (assuming you actually paid for the tickets in pennies). the sound of an f1 car roaring past you in Sepang is similar to the sound of thunder, only it has a more coarse, harsh quality to it. if given the choice of listening to f1 cars or thunder as a form of torture or punishment, i would most definitely pick thunder. despite the eardrum-shattering noise, it was an enjoyable experience, i would definitely go again next year if given the chance.

the thought of studying for the rest of your life would be terrifying for some, but i find myself devising a way to actually never graduate from UTP, just to avoid jumping into the working world. i guess it goes without saying that i am greatly loathing my working experience in johnson and johnson. i now understand the dishonorable actions of my predecessor. i would not abandon my responsibilities on an uninformed new practical trainee, i am far too responsible (however near "far" may be) to do that, however i understand why she did it to me. the stress is almost unbearable at times. if i were a pillar supporting the weight of a building (relating to stress), the building would most probably be the leaning tower of pisa. the damn thing is already leaning. lol. (hopefully that made sense. haha)

moving on from the lame engineering comparison, i dread each day that i have to go to that god-forsaken place. i count the very minutes to reach the blessed weekends and i subconciously programmed my brain to keep track of the number of seconds before my dreaded internship period ends. sigh.

to be fair, i have learned a lot in the past 4 months. the things that i learn here do have some relevance to what i have studied, and probably will see again in my actual working environment. the pay is quite high compared to other companies. but the working environment is a very stressful one. my supervisors aren't really helping. they themselves are stressed out, but perhaps they have better motivation (i.e:their pay is good). they are stressed out and they vent some of that stress at me at times. which is making me so stressed coz i dont have that much of a motivation.

my actual supervisor is not giving me the marks i want, is extremely emotional, finds faults in almost everything i do, passes every single meaningless and time-consuming tasks that she does not want to do to me, and has very bad communication skills. or maybe i have very bad hearing skills. regardless, in conclusion, i want to go back to UTP to study. something i would never imagine myself saying.

i do not wish to stop writing, but my brain is sending signals to my eyes to occasionally blink, which probably means my body is tired. which means i should probably sleep to avoid dozing off while reviewing those boring BRR documents. i sincerely hope my supervisor will lighten up in the near future, and see that i am really trying to impress her by listening to her comments about being more alert and proactive (whatever the hell that meant) and having a more positive mood and outlook on the tons of non-engineering related work she throws at me. controlling myself from yelling at her when she criticizes and mocks me for even the tiniest bit of mistake is proving to be more difficult by day. even more so when i think that my scholar, JPA is actually paying UTP approximately 4k+ for me to work in this hellhole.

as i end my literary experiment, i wish everyone a happy and prosperous life. life is short, live it. until we meet again my dear blog.

whenever that may be.

ciao.

worries. for nothing.

2009-01-10T01:38:00.000+08:00

hello.

apologies for not being able to put up a new post sooner. for some reason, when times i felt like posting, there seemed to be a problem with the internet connection, and when i didn't, the connection was perfect.. haha. maybe its a sign for me to stop blogging or something. hahah.

anyways, apart from that, i am at my rent house (rumah sewa? lolz.). so only recently did we get internet connection, so even if i wanted to write something, i couldnt.

this time, i'd just like to say a lil' bit about my internship. as im sure most of my fellow colleagues and bloggers have already done.

my senior, the person that did the internship a semester earlier than me, just finished her internship period and so now, all her work is passed down to me. this wouldnt be a big deal if she'd actually prepared me properly... in my own personal point of view, which may not necessarily be true, she couldnt care less whether i knew what my responsibilities were or not, she just wanted to get the hell out of that place. haha. coz all she taught me during the one month she was still there is how to do simple stuff. and then suddenly, during the handover meeting, (which is the meeting in which she hands over all her work to me), she lists down all these things that i have never done before, and im supposed to be doing after she left... and i was like "i am so dead". X_X haha.

but seriously, i didnt have a clue what she just said. and i was really freaking out. what the hell am i supposed to do after this?! and when i asked her, she'd go about saying things like, "it was like this when i came here" and "my senior never taught me anything and i had to learn all this by myself, so you have to also...". oh my god, how irritating some human beings can be sometimes...

and to top it all off, i had to go fetch my parents from KLIA coz they were coming back from doing their haji and bring them back to Ipoh, so i wont be in the office for two days. which means, i couldnt learn anything about what she just told me. crap.

and so, later that day, while cursing myself for having such a lousy lazy senior, and also praying for my well-being in the next 7 months, i drove to my uncle's house, coz his house was nearer to the airport. that night, i slept in a room with my cousin, which was in standard 3, i think.

he was also having a not so good day. he was complaining to me how prefects never get enough credit. they do all these things and they never get anything in return. so i kinda asked him what exactly did he do. so he said he was in charge of lowering the flags at the end of every day... hehe.

but then it occured to me, this is a big deal to him. a real big deal. and he was a bit upset no one gave him the credit he deserved even though what he was doing was of incredible difficulty and of super importance.

it got me thinking. maybe its the same with me. maybe to me all these report writing, meetings, validations, etc, seem extremely difficult to handle, but to other people, my supervisor perhaps, it may seem to be menial tasks that are not even worth their time to handle.

and i think it is. coz when my uncle got home, which was around 10 pm that night, he was talking about this meeting where they had to choose the GM and AGM of something. the meeting got so intense that one person actually went home sobbing, coz he/she (not sure) didnt get assigned or something, which means he/she probably wont have a job in the near future. so there i was thinking, out of all the meetings ive been to, there was never a meeting which someone actually cried and left, so my work must not be that hard. haha.

to my uncle, my work is probably like what my younger cousins work as a prefect looks like to me. so that kinda calmed me down and prepared me for the tasks that awaited me when i came back for work. hehe.

and also, that night i fetched my parents at KLIA. earlier, my brother and my aunt were talking, "maybe my dad had stopped smoking since he went to Mekah". hehe. so, when my mother and father arrived, after hugging all the relatives that were there, what does my father do? he grabs a cigarette from his bag. haha. even the guard that was holding the sub-machine gun couldnt stop from snickering. haha. so much for no longer smoking. it was nice seeing my parents after so long.

like any other person that came back from the Holy Lands, my parents had loads of stories to tell. the funniest one being what they did right after they officially got their haji and hajjah. my father even made a video of it.

"What do you do 15 minutes after you finished your hajj? Burger King!" lolz.

they went to Burger King. haha.

oh yeah, for those that are wondering, life in bandar sunway, where im staying for the period of my internship, is good. i go out often (in stark contrast with my life in utp), i hang out with my friends quite often, and i go to the movies almost weekly. haha. and my allowance money disappears at an exponential rate. haha. and im also about to try ice skating tomorrow. haha.

and thats about all the things i wanted to write. ill admit, this post isnt nearly as long as the other ones. probably coz i dont feel as comfortable writing on someone else's laptop. fyi, the spelling is laptop, not "ladtop". -_-. i left the power source for my laptop at my house in ipoh. -_-".

take care.

till next time, whenever that may be, chow.

:)

Death, as I see it..

2008-11-22T10:28:00.000+08:00

hello.

usually i dont post more than once a month, but something happened quite recently that kinda stirred my thoughts and emotions, i guess. (chewah)

there was a death, no, make that two deaths in UTP, on thursday and friday. this one guy died of, of all things, a heart attack. imagine that. while playing football. one assumes that when someone plays football, he probably has been playing for awhile, therefore should be fit enough to play the game, and probably know when to stop playing, so to get a heart attack while playing,.. is bizzarre.

the 2nd guy, died in an accident involving himself and... (this may sound funny but try not to laugh coz its disrespectful..), a kerbau. also known as a buffalo. for those that do not know, kerbaus (pandai2 je letak 's' for plural of kerbau. haha.) always roam around the roads infront of utp at nite, and since they are dark in color and there arent any lights lighting up the roads, utp students often hear tales of people having accidents with these behemoths. and believe me, they are quite big and quite strong. there was one story that i heard, a group of ppl were in a kancil and they banged into a kerbau, and the kerbau actually stared back at them for a few seconds before actually moving away. its as if the kancil banging into the blasted kerbau was like a mosquito bite or sumthing. (who'd ever thought i'd use so many animals in one sentence. haha.)

of course, the thought of students, almost the same age as me, dying, is somewhat scary. but who cares rite? ppl die all the time. even babies die. sure its a bit scary, but i dont even know these ppl, so no big deal....

or so i thought.

after finishing our exams, (yeay!), me and the guys went to ipoh to blow some steam.. it was the usual, bowling, movies, some of them went to mcd after that, but i was already lacking sleep, so i passed. quantum of solace is nice, btw, not as nice as casino royale, but still nice. action wise, top notch, but the story was moving a bit too fast for me to fully digest whats going on. but all in all, a nice movie. as for the bowling, i sucked big time. cant really say it was the lane, coz there were other ppl that had better scores even though the lane wasnt in tip top condition, i guess it was just me. i scored 99 and 98. cant remember the last time i scored BELOW 100, so it kinda sucked for me.

anyways, while waiting for the midnight movie, some of the guys went for karaoke. see, the karaoke place is in the bowling alley area, and so we bumped into other utp friends there. fyi, it is almost impossible for you not to bump into a utp student at jusco during the weekends. especially so after the exams... duh. haha. so anyways, i went there a bit late coz i had to, er, shake hands with the president. haha. and so when i got there, my friend came up to me and told me something that is quite,.. disturbing...

if you guys recall, i became a facilitator for the orientation week this sem. so as a facilitator, i had one group of students to handle. my friend, the one that came up to me also was a faci and also had a group. it turns out that, the guy that had the heart attack, was in his group. and i know that guy..

well, not to say i know him very well, i just know him, as in i know who my friend was talking about when he mentioned it to me.

i guess it has a big impact on me. as far as i know, none of my friends have died. sure, there have deaths in my family before, but no one that was actually younger than me. yes, he was actually younger than me. born in 1990 if my calculations are correct.

to see this guy alive and well at one time, and to suddenly hear that he's dead, is... i dont know what the word is for this one. guess this goes to show death knows no boundaries.

it really opened my eyes. life is short, shorter than i may think, apparently. i need to live life more. no more wasting time, staying alone at home, doing nothing but sleep and play computer games all the time. (i barely play any computer games nowadays, but still... ). its time for change. and what better time to make a change in my life than during my internship. i'll be working, which means i will have some extra cash. plus, ill be in the vicinity of kuala lumpur, which means i can try out stuff ive always wanted to try while i was in pasum but never got the chance (i.e: ice skating! :D). hehe.

plus, i should have more money to go travelling. hehe. i do like travelling to new places, just that id rather not go alone, id prefer it if some friends, or family perhaps, could come with me. but thats the problem really, not everyone likes travelling. and not that many people can afford it. even worse, not many people think that its a good way to spend your money... haihs... i guess they've never heard of the proverb "jauh perjalanan, luas permandangan". (dunno what the english version is, but ill find out later).

i feel like writing more, but i dont really have anything else to say, so i guess i'll stop here. oh yeah, in case anyone's wondering, i'll be doing my internship at johnson and johnson, petaling jaya. hehe. ill be an intern for 8 months, starting this december, so plenty of time to do stuff during that time. hehe. oh yeah, im not sure, but i dont think there'll be any internet connection where i'm staying, so probably wont be blogging so often. (macam la "often" sgt skrg ni. haha.)

erm, another important thing to mention, my parents are going for haji this wednesday (26th november 2008), so i'd appreciate it if you guys could pray for my parents safety and well-being. thanks a lot.

last but not least, i was actually planning something different for this post, but since i didnt even plan on writing this post, the "something different" will have to wait till the next time i blog. hehe.

oh yeah! totally forgot about the majlis doa selamat and tahlil (refer to previous posting). all in all, it was a successfull ceremony. thank you very2 much to everyone that came. it meant a lot to me. semoga Allah memberkati tuan2 dan puan2 sekalian. i'd blog about it, but there really isn't that much to blog about, hehe. but a friend of mine did blog about it, you can read it here. (ive never actually tried linking another page, so forgive me if the link doesnt work. huhu.)

and, the final 'last but not least', hehe, i'd like to wish everyone that have NOT finished their exams, good luck, do your best, to those that HAVE and are in their sweet holidays, happy holidays, stay safe, and to those that are 'unlucky' in the sense that their holidays have been cut short due to the internship programme, good luck with you internship, take care, especially the people that are going overseas, and i'll see you guys in 8 months!

take care everyone.

ciao~

experiment

2008-11-05T22:55:00.000+08:00

apparently, friendster has this new thingy where i can save what i wrote yesterday.... eh wait.

hello ppl. tlupa plak.

k. lets move on. as i was saying, friendster blog has this new thingy (or maybe its an old thingy, coz i never really explore the possibilities with this thing) where i can save what i wrote and come back and finish it off some other time. which is sweeeet, since i always have stuff to say at times, but when i actually do open up my blog to write something, the idea is already boring to me, (although it might be interesting to you guys), so i end up not writing anything... huhu.

so the reason im telling you guys this is that im testing this new(?) feature out. ill write something today (29th October 2008), and maybe when i get the time, i'll write something else, whenever that may be..

actually the reason that got me writing again, a bit early according to my schedule if i might add, is because some of my friends have started writing their blogs, and i dunno, seeing them write, makes me want to write something, which is childish, i know, but what the heck. haha.

is there anything interesting at all to write about today? hmm. not really. all boring stuff, as usual. o yea, a sad fact, i still havent gotten a placement for my internship, but for some reason i myself am not aware of, i am surprisingly extremely optimistic on the matter, even though there is no reason for me to be this way. most of the people in my course, most of my friends, have gotten a placement, some even have more than one, but i am somehow unaffected by all this. sure it kinda sucks when they start talking bout where they're going to stay, what they're going to do, who's going with them, bla3, and i dont really have anything to say to join in the conversation, but i dont really mind. in fact, im actually feeling happy for them. which is something i usually am not inclined to do. haha.

okay. enuf for today. lets wait for next time aite.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

its november 4th, 3 32 am. i finally found the time to write something..

you can never really see where your life is headed. sure, you may plan, predict, but you can never truly know where its going for sure, until you're there.

b4, i talked about how i havent gotten any internship placement yet. the next day, i got 2 offers. unexpected. well, i was expecting to get offered somewhere, just not 2 offers, in the same day... and just yesterday, i got another one. so that makes 3. weird huh. out of nowhere these offers pop up. ah well, that is life.

ive run out of things to write about. interesting things, anyway. probably coz my brains in a jam from all the studying and the coffee i just drank.

owh. remembered something. how fun it is, to know that you're in your study week, and some of your friends in other universities, have finished their exams. they are out of their misery, yours is only beginning. -_-"

my family is having a doa selamat and tahlil next week. odds are the ppl that read this blog are invited. if youre not, tell me. a person that reads my blog, should be invited, even though i may not know you very well. its kind of a big thing for me, this ceremony. for the most obvious reason, its a gathering to wish my parents well on their haji trip. 2ndly, bcoz, most of my friends in UTP havent been to my house, so for me to have a solid reason to invite them to come to my house is a good thing.

i really cant think of anything else worth writing now. guess ill stop here and continue some other time.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

november 6th, 3.27 am.

this shall probably be the last time i write in this particular post. afraid this post may be wee bit too long if i continue.

honestly, there really is nothing to write about today. apart from celebrating afiq's bday. which was nice i guess.

moving on, im nearing the 2nd half of my study week and i have barely done any studying at all. which is very bad... curse all these projects that need to be finished... why have these useless projects anyways? have i learned anything from them? okay, honestly, yes. one. i learned that if you wait long enough, you can copy somebody else's work. haha.what a waste of time...

and it spoils the study mood. you're supposed to be concentrating on your studies fully during the study week, but since you're swamped with work and other stuff, the concentration's gone. proof? some of the guys went out for bowling just now. and tomorrow, some are going for quantum of solace. (if you dont know what this is, you definitely arent a movie buff). by the way, although i never really was a fan of the bond series, but i definitely liked casino royale.. it was really nice! i am definitely looking forward to quantum of solace.

at this point, for my internship, i shall probably be going to johnson and johnson. yeah, the shampoo company. ive heard only good things bout the place, and the pays not bad. but some seniors have said that the workhours sometimes can be quite long. instead of going off at 5 30 pm for example, try 5 30 am. i kid u not. wow huh? but of course you'll get the next day off.. very interesting eh?

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I fell asleep.

november 6th, 1.13 pm.

due to falling asleep, i have forgotten what i was going to write down. but i did get some ideas after reading other ppls blogs. call it a realization if you will (and if there is such a word as realization)

there are so many blogs out there. really. so many. why? ive written some time ago about why ppl stop writing blogs, but never really why ppl start writing blogs..

do we crave the attention? do we need the interaction with other ppl so desperately that we post blogs for ppl to read and comment and go to sometimes extreme lengths to promote our blog? lets ponder about it for a moment. what do we really get when ppl read our blogs? when ppl post a comment?

sure, some of the super popular bloggers can really change the world with their blog (the chancellor of my university for example, che det), and some blogs that are popular enuf, they can have advertising to increase the balance in their pockets...

no. im not talking about these ppl. im talking about us. nobodies. (compared to che det, im definitely a nobody, and so are you, i think, unless ur che det and u've come to read my blog, then that makes me a somebody, coz che det is reading my blog... haha.) why do we write? we dont really have anything to benefit from it. yet we are excited when we spot the new comments on our blog. do we really care THAT much on what ppl think about us? are we really that lame? haha

uish. i should not have brought this up here. this topic on its own could cover one entire posting, and ive already written some stuff... i dont want my blog to be too long, now do i?

here's what i think, if it matters anyway. humans crave attention. we crave it on every level. we sometimes wear clothes that are attractive so that ppl will stare. we sumtimes talk to almost any stranger for no apparent reason than to fill the time or avoid an awkward moment. we bring our handphones everywhere, chat with absolute strangers in chatrooms, join social websites, forums, and last but most definitely not the least, hop from one blog to another and write our own blogs.

it is a way to be heard. blogs. when che det's thoughts couldnt get into mainstream media, he started blogging. and im guessing its the same for us. for every blogger.

blasted ppl keep popping into my room... nk tulis blog dgn aman pun susah..

i shall make it short then. ppl like attention. ppl want to be heard. blog is a way to be heard. some are so desperate for their voices to be heard, they promote their blog to extreme lengths (my opinion anyways, not necessarily true). because in the end, no matter how much we say we dont care, we really do care, if only a little, about what ppl think about us, and whether ppl give a damn about us or not.

so thats why i get happy or excited when i see new comments. there is someone out there that actually cares enuf to actually say something to what i have to say. haha. pathetic eh? i know. in the end, we are all pathetic ppl. haha. nobody can live alone.

and this concludes my experiment on this new style of blogging. i have to say, its been somewhat fun, no pressure to write so much in so little time. but somewhat tiring as well, as i need to face this blog thing for so many days, when i usually face it only once a month. how u guys manage to post so many in so short a time perplexes my timid mind. haha.

damn it, more ppl popping in! perlu ke masuk sini.. -_-" shuh2. stop lah cmni.

tk cr.

ciao~

raya n puasa.

2008-10-07T00:52:00.000+08:00

yelah, yelah, aku update... lolz.

hello everyone.. slmt hari raya. maaf zahir n batin. halalkan makan minum. sekiranya ada hutang saya yang masih tak terbayar, sila lah ingatkan..

now that thats out of the way, i shall now talk about things i like about puasa n raya in random order. haha. what kind of introduction is this... -____-"

i like raya. it is the one time where everyone is so nice to each other, no one seems to be quarrelling, all arguments are put aside for that one day, and long lost friends pop up out of nowhere to visit you. you suddenly start talking to people you havent talked to in ages, and they too with you. you get to meet all your relatives (most, if not all), be it close or distant ones.. n o yea, did i mention you'll get loads of cash from your suddenly rich aunts and uncles..? hehe.

i used to look forward to raya so much when i was a kid. but now, it just feels like any other holiday. huhu. sad, i know, but its the truth. i dont really care bout the money i get anymore. the only thing i look forward to during raya is the long holiday and the chance to meet most of my relatives at the same time. huhu.

also, its kinda hard to get into the holiday spirit when there's tons of work to be done... i actually had nightmares of not submitting my assignments, not finishing my projects.. haihs. raya is just not the same anymore... i still like it, dont get me wrong, but its just not the same....

owh yeah, the thing i liked most bout this raya, is when my parents talked about when i was young. according to them, i didnt like to smile when i was a kid. haha. my dad told to me, "you were so grumpy, that when this one time you actually smiled to the bread-seller (i bought bread and other junk from this bread-seller almost everyday, fyi), he actually gave you free stuff because he was so happy to see you smile". lolz. when i smiled, i actually got free stuff. maybe my brain at that time stored that little bit of info, coz nowadays i smile almost all the time. i even smile when im in trouble (imagine the joker, but not as scary. haha) . my brain is subconciously trying to get me more free stuff. haha.

i laugh at my own jokes all the time eh? haha. i think its like the sitcoms. they add in the laughs to help make the show funnier. laughter is contagious. so when i laugh at my own jokes, hopefully you'll laugh at them as well. or laugh at me for being so pathetic. haha.

well that was one thing they told me about my childhood. there are other stuff, but i shall not write them here. want to know more, ask me personally. hehe.

erm, getting back to the topic of raya n puasa, apart from that, there was hardly anything special bout this raya. been there done that. huhu. im actually quite bummed because for this raya i couldnt meet most of my cousins and relatives. eh wait, i did meet most of them, but i didnt meet them all at once... i was with one family during the first day of raya, then they left to go somewhere else, and then another family came, and then they left and another family came... etc2. you get my drift. so of course i met most of my relatives, but its not as fun as meeting all of them together at the same time... huhu.

thats about it for raya. what about puasa... o yea, i had sahur with my eyes closed that one time. haha. and after finishing my plate of rice did i realise i had an extra lauk that i didnt see... haha. padan muka. malas sgt. but it was nice to be able to actually SLEEP before sahur. when i got home, my mum would wake me up for sahur. but in UTP, i was the one that was waking ppl up for sahur, most of the time anyways. i have problem waking up, as you all may have already known if youve been following my blog (lolz), so in order to be able to sahur, i usually dont sleep before sahur. i only sleep after sahur...

sometimes, if i were to accidentally fall asleep before sahur, my whole house would not be having sahur. haha. it happened on the last day i was in UTP before i went home for the raya holidays. since it was the last time we were going to have sahur together, my friends and i had planned to go out of UTP for sahur. BUT, most unfortunate, i fell asleep. i fell asleep, so nobody was awake. nobody was awake, therefore nobody woke up for sahur.... haha. funny eh?

so now you guys know why i skip my classes oh so often during the fasting month. at least its for a good reason rite? hehe. (alasan...)

oh yeah, one more thing i'd like to talk about puasa. i used to think that in the fasting month, i would be able to save some cash, since i wont be eating during the day. only after reaching raya did i realise how wrong i was... huhu. during puasa, i eat during sahur time, (which is around 4 am for me n my housemates in UTP), and during berbuka puasa. during non-fasting months, i eat during lunch and dinner time. so even though its puasa, i still eat the same number of time each day! haha. perhaps even more, because during sahur my brain is thinking "eat as much as you can! so that you wont starve to death during the day!". haha. and while breaking fast " eat as much as you can! you almost starved to death during the day, now is the time to recover!" haha.

what makes it worse is that, during puasa, you cant help but want something special to eat during berbuka puasa (break fast, not breakfast). during regular months, i only eat regular food, just to not go hungry, maybe occasionally ill go for something nice. but during fasting month.... huh. its as if i'll die if i dont eat delicious food.. haha. and of course, slightly more delicious food would cost slightly more. and dont get me started on the jamuan buffet berbuka puasa n etc2. haha. therefore, fasting month not equal to saving month. haha. i save better during regular months.

and thats all for now i think. overall, although its not the same as before, i still like raya n puasa. if i dont celebrate n enjoy raya n puasa, what else will i celebrate? when i think about it, its not all that bad. every year's celebration of raya n puasa is unique in its own way. 10 years from now, i'll probably look back to this year and say "those were the good ol' days..". hehe. and its true, isnt it? you have to agree with me on this one. if you look back to your raya celebration 10 years ago, you'd definitely say those days were the best raya you've ever had. i cant exactly remember what i was doing for raya when i was 9, but i know for sure, i enjoyed it a lot. :)

............................................................................................................

"mawi dah kaya,

siti dah datin,

selamat hari raya,

maaf zahir dan batin."

............................................................................................................

lolz.

cant help but laugh at my own jokes. double lolz.

dah la ni pun curi pantun org. triple lolz.

haha. what the fish.

>_<

thats all for now ppl.

take care. chows.

New Layout!?!

2008-09-13T00:04:00.000+08:00

Wow.

who would've thought i'd actually update my layout?! haha. it was unplanned. i visited my own blog, (haha), just to check n see if anyone left any comments. and i saw that it was blue in color. erk. i dont recall it being blue before...

then i realised that friendster had new designs for its blog... probably realising that ppl do read blogs on friendster, they decide to spruce up the designs and all that, probably to keep up with the other blog websites. so, it automatically updated my old boring layout to a new clean-looking blue-colored layout.

which looked weird to me. haha.

so i browsed thru all the layout designs, before choosing this one. this one looks, relaxed. peaceful. calm. hehe. hope u guys like it.

erm, sumone commented to me that i am mixing english and bm too much, and i should start using proper english in my blog. again, i would like to remind everyone that this is not a place for you to learn english! haha. plus im not exactly the best person to be learning english from, as there are lots of blogs out there that have a very high level of english-ness (see how bad my english is.. huhu) to it. some are even written by englishmen (and women, of course) , so you would assume that their level of english is far greater than mine. hehe. im from malaysia, so i tend to speak a little manglish, though i try not to.

just thought id post something before i take my nap before sahur. oh yeah, its the fasting month, and my sleeping schedule is far from normal. even in normal conditions, some consider it to be abnormal, now.... its even worse. i find myself unable to wake up for morning classes nowadays. haha. big surprise there. which is not so funny anymore considering i promised my mom i would not skip anymore classes.... huhu. dont get me wrong, im not PURPOSELY skipping class, its just that sometimes i cant wake up from sleep, sometimes the lecturer organizes a boring adjunct lecture which has no relevance whatsoever to what is coming out in my tests and exams (i study for exams n tests, not knowledge. huhu), so you cant really blame me for skipping all these classes. huhu.

the number of assignments for this semester is astounding! its as if the lecturers are giving as much assignments as humanly possible before we, the 3rd year students go for internship! haha. imagine, one subject actually has 3 assignments in one week... if that isnt deliberately torturing students, i dont know what is. huhu. perhaps the lecturers think that the abundance of work they give us will actually HELP us in improving our grades. well, its not helping. the number of assignments given is not directly proportional to knowledge gained by a student. haha. its not. even without ANY assignments at all, a student can still excel in his/her studies if he/she wishes to and works to achieve it, and even with ALL the assignments in the world, a stubborn/ignorant student wouldn't gain a thing from all the work he/she has done, if he/she blindly finishes all the assignments without taking a second to understand what he/she is doing, i.e copying. hehe. with so many assignments to be handed in, one can only assume the regular students, such as myself, (or should i say the lazy students, haha), would be copying some, if not all of the assignments... in my humble opinion, lecturers shouldnt give too much assignments. give one per week, tops. that way, students will actually have the time to do the assignments themselves, and by doing so learn more about the task at hand, instead of having to skip class to copy an assignment that he was supposed to do days ago. lolz.

lets stop talking bout studies shall we? im sleepy enuf as it is. erm, i still havent got an internship placement. some friends have already gotten offers, and the number seems to grow by the day. im somewhat shaken, but overall im still optimistic that ill get a relatively good placement. i cant really expect the companies to come beg me to be their intern with an average cgpa.. huhu. some of the companies standards are so high, i dont even meet the minimum requirements to apply for intern, so i decided not to. ah, who cares. in the end, if i still dont get a placement, UTP will secure one for me, so nothing to worry about, really. its just that, obviously everyone has their own preference, where they want to work, what company they want to work with, and i myself am not excluded. but if its not meant to be, then so be it. lets not worry bout things that are uncertain. things will sort themselves out eventually. (slacker mode engaged.) haha.

erm, thats it for now, i think. oh yeah, ive got this one friend who apparently is grammar-crazy nowadays. haha. she deleted her entire blog, partly because she doesnt like all the grammar mistakes that she did. haha. i is not the knowing why she doing that thing, (please dont delete my blog. haha), but she should relax... haha. there's nothing wrong with using bad grammar in your blog. so long as you get your message out, and the blog-hoppers enjoy reading it, its all good... and this post is partly because she asked me to post sumthing. haha. i dont even know if this one is a good post, because im just rambling about random stuff. ill let you guys decide.

eyh, i really should get to sleeping. need to wake up for sahur coz it seems im the chef on duty for tonite. haha.

later.

chow.

my first 20th

2008-08-26T09:30:00.000+08:00

hello everyone.

forgive me for not writing so long. its not that i dont have things to write about, i do. i dont know, maybe im not as dedicated to this blogging thingy as i thought. im not even sure i can be considered a blogger. other bloggers update their blog daily, sometimes several times in a day. i am barely able to pen out my thoughts once a month, which isn't very productive now, is it.. haha.

despite of the extremely long gaps between posts, i still have some ppl that read my blog... haha. dont you guys have better things to do? lolz. thanks for visiting. and again, sorry for not updating. this one's for you guys.

since im in the topic of blogs, lets talk about blogs, shall we. when i first started blogging, i often stated that i write only for myself, but if other ppl want to read my posts, its fine with me. then i started liking the comments, be it good or bad, and before you know it, i started writing the blog for other ppl. haha.

if you noticed, my style of writing has changed dramatically from the first post, to this one. i guess even writing styles evolve. in the beginning, i kinda stressed on writing with the correct grammar, correct spelling, a very formal blog if i do say so myself. nowadays... you'd be lucky if you could find one sentence in here that has proper grammar and proper sentence structure and also, a full sentence in english, as i am more and more drawn to manglish... haha. please dont use this blog as a guide to do your english assignment.. haha.

well, waddyaknow... (an example of bad english right here ladies and gents.. lolz). this is my 20th blog posting.. wieee. some ppl might be saying, "20? only 20? lame~". haha. yeah2, i know, but it must count for something right? who wouldve thought id reach 20 posts. im not even 20 years old yet. haha. xd kena mengena, i know. :P

what should i talk about this time? b4 sitting down, i had loads of ideas on what to write, n now, i cant seem to think of anything... haish.

let's talk bout life then. it is the main theme of the blog, after all. life for me has been okay. i was the faci for my university's orientation. got to meet with the juniors and hopefully helped them settle into university life. passed down my 3 years worth of experience, which was my main objective of joining, so although the organising committee sucked bad, all sorts of things went wrong, it was a nice experience for me.

i joined a treasure hunt for the 1st time this semester. i did join the irc infohunt, but thats like very small-scale. and running around in the library looking for books cant really be considered an actual treasure hunt. haha. for this particular treasure hunt, we travelled a total of about 200 km. there was this one task, where you had to shoot the tin cans down, if you failed, you'd have to eat weird stuff. and my group, all of us being superb sharpshooters, manage to shoot down a grand total of ZERO (0) cans. lolz. so we had to eat the garlic, the asam jawa, the mengkudu, the cup of chilli (or is it chilly, lolz) and 2 raw eggs. wow. i ate the raw eggs. also a first time experience. haha. its not that bad actually. once you get over the thought that it is raw eggs, it doesnt taste that bad... huhu. all in all, it was a fun experience, it was my first REAL treasure hunt, and it was nice for me, i think the committee did a good job on this one. oh yeah, fyi, we didnt win, my team and i, haha. but we did have fun, and thats what matters most.

i also joined a paintball competition. wiee.. im trying all sorts of new stuff this semester. haha. maybe i should try studying instead of wasting time? hahah. actually for the paintball competition, i planned on joining last year, but due to unforeseen consequences, i couldnt. so i was excited to be able to join this year... and wouldn't you know it, my team got into the finals. haha. but we didnt win first place. we came in 2nd. hehe. nvmnd. to be able to go to the finals is good enuf rite? so dont be so hard on chong wei alrite? hehehe. oh yeah, i got shot 4 times in the tournament. huhu. twice in the chest, making me have a new red-coloured birthmark on my chest, once in the elbow, and one headshot.

im going for my internship in december. im not sure im actually looking forward to it, eh wait, i am, because during internship i wont have to study. haha. i applied to several companies, only one has replied, but im thinking that particular company replies to all non-petronas scholars' application. hehe. so im not that special. haha. im planning on going to sarawak, simply bcoz i like travelling. now at first, there were a few of us that wanted to go to sarawak, but one guy backed out, now suddenly everyone doesnt want to go sarawak, which to me sucks bad. but im not gonna change my plans just bcoz my friends are abandoning me.. kalau nak ikut kawan, smpy bila tak maju. so what the hell, if it is fated that i go to sarawak alone, fine by me. i dont mind. sarawak, here i come. hehe. oh ye, i just realised something. im going to be totally alone on my 20th birthday this year. crap. my parents are going for their haji end of this year, and they'll be gone before i go for my internship and also my birthday. which means ill be alone in a place thats completely alien to me, and ill probably be alone, with no friends or family, on that one day that i can truly say belongs to me, my birthday. *sigh*. c'est la vie...

what else is going on in my life... ah yes, it appears that there is an increase in the number of couples in my batch. apparently a lot of ppl have been bitten by the love bug, despite the regular fogging done in utp... huhu. my guess is some of the girls are getting desperate, but then again, when you fall in love, you cant really help it now can you. but what amazes me is how fast these ppl get back into a relationship after getting out of one. its as if they dont really mind who they're with, so long as they're with someone. i mean, would it kill you to wait for awhile, browse thru the choices, and taking your time to make the right choice?.. haih. biarlah kan, asalkan mereka bahagia sudah.. haha.

what else... what else... hehe. lets make this one the longest post ever. to celebrate the 20th posting. hehe. i myself am amazed that i was able to write 20 postings. oh yeah, etp. engineering team project. ppl from the 4 engineering courses group up and come up with an engineering project. my group came up with the magnetoboard. our project is very similar to the child's toy, where you can draw and doodle on the board without using any ink, and you can erase the writings as easily as you draw them. we intend on making an actual whiteboard based on those principles, to be used in classrooms and lecture halls. if it works, it would be a great invention, if i do say so myself, but so far, we've had nothing but setbacks.. but we've managed to overcome the obstacles so far, so pray that we are able to actually fabricate the protoype... huhu.

aha... here's another thing i can talk about here. people and their blogs. now, im all for promoting your own blog. whats a blog without the readers rite? but i tell ya, some ppl, the things they do to promote their blog.... putting your blog link in your gtalk / ym status is fine, but to pm every single person in ur friends list about ur blog... lame~ if ur blog is nice, ppl will visit ur blog even if u dont promote it or EVEN if u dont even update it for 2 months.. lolz. haha. but seriously, try not to go overboard in promoting your blog.

i think i should stop here... hehe. its gotten too long. huhu. i wonder how many ppl fell asleep to this. haha. maybe i should make this into a bedtime story.. once upon a time, there was a blogger named yasin... etc2... and he lived happily ever after. haha. thats all from me. take care. live life to the fullest. learn the ways of the slacker. chill. relax.

till next time, whenever that may be... lolz.

chow.