worries. for nothing.

hello.

apologies for not being able to put up a new post sooner. for some reason, when times i felt like posting, there seemed to be a problem with the internet connection, and when i didn't, the connection was perfect.. haha. maybe its a sign for me to stop blogging or something. hahah.

anyways, apart from that, i am at my rent house (rumah sewa? lolz.). so only recently did we get internet connection, so even if i wanted to write something, i couldnt. 

this time, i'd just like to say a lil' bit about my internship. as im sure most of my fellow colleagues and bloggers have already done.

my senior, the person that did the internship a semester earlier than me, just finished her internship period and so now, all her work is passed down to me. this wouldnt be a big deal if she'd actually prepared me properly... in my own personal point of view, which may not necessarily be true, she couldnt care less whether i knew what my responsibilities were or not, she just wanted to get the hell out of that place. haha. coz all she taught me during the one month she was still there is how to do simple stuff. and then suddenly, during the handover meeting, (which is the meeting in which she hands over all her work to me), she lists down all these things that i have never done before, and im supposed to be doing after she left... and i was like "i am so dead". X_X haha.

but seriously, i didnt have a clue what she just said. and i was really freaking out. what the hell am i supposed to do after this?! and when i asked her, she'd go about saying things like, "it was like this when i came here" and "my senior never taught me anything and i had to learn all this by myself, so you have to also...". oh my god, how irritating some human beings can be sometimes...

and to top it all off, i had to go fetch my parents from KLIA coz they were coming back from doing their haji and bring them back to Ipoh, so i wont be in the office for two days. which means, i couldnt learn anything about what she just told me. crap.

and so, later that day, while cursing myself for having such a lousy lazy senior, and also praying for my well-being in the next 7 months, i drove to my uncle's house, coz his house was nearer to the airport. that night, i slept in a room with my cousin, which was in standard 3, i think.

he was also having a not so good day. he was complaining to me how prefects never get enough credit. they do all these things and they never get anything in return. so i kinda asked him what exactly did he do. so he said he was in charge of lowering the flags at the end of every day... hehe.

but then it occured to me, this is a big deal to him. a real big deal. and he was a bit upset no one gave him the credit he deserved even though what he was doing was of incredible difficulty and of super importance.

it got me thinking. maybe its the same with me. maybe to me all these report writing, meetings, validations, etc, seem extremely difficult to handle, but to other people, my supervisor perhaps, it may seem to be menial tasks that are not even worth their time to handle.

and i think it is. coz when my uncle got home, which was around 10 pm that night, he was talking about this meeting where they had to choose the GM and AGM of something. the meeting got so intense that one person actually went home sobbing, coz he/she (not sure) didnt get assigned or something, which means he/she probably wont have a job in the near future. so there i was thinking, out of all the meetings ive been to, there was never a meeting which someone actually cried and left, so my work must not be that hard. haha.

to my uncle, my work is probably like what my younger cousins work as a prefect looks like to me. so that kinda calmed me down and prepared me for the tasks that awaited me when i came back for work. hehe. 

and also, that night i fetched my parents at KLIA. earlier, my brother and my aunt were talking, "maybe my dad had stopped smoking since he went to Mekah". hehe. so, when my mother and father arrived, after hugging all the relatives that were there, what does my father do? he grabs a cigarette from his bag. haha. even the guard that was holding the sub-machine gun couldnt stop from snickering. haha. so much for no longer smoking. it was nice seeing my parents after so long.

like any other person that came back from the Holy Lands, my parents had loads of stories to tell. the funniest one being what they did right after they officially got their haji and hajjah. my father even made a video of it. 

"What do you do 15 minutes after you finished your hajj? Burger King!" lolz.

they went to Burger King. haha.

oh yeah, for those that are wondering, life in bandar sunway, where im staying for the period of my internship, is good. i go out often (in stark contrast with my life in utp), i hang out with my friends quite often, and i go to the movies almost weekly. haha. and my allowance money disappears at an exponential rate. haha. and im also about to try ice skating tomorrow. haha.

and thats about all the things i wanted to write. ill admit, this post isnt nearly as long as the other ones. probably coz i dont feel as comfortable writing on someone else's laptop. fyi, the spelling is laptop, not "ladtop". -_-. i left the power source for my laptop at my house in ipoh. -_-".

take care.

till next time, whenever that may be, chow.

:)

Death, as I see it..

hello.

usually i dont post more than once a month, but something happened quite recently that kinda stirred my thoughts and emotions, i guess. (chewah)

there was a death, no, make that two deaths in UTP, on thursday and friday. this one guy died of, of all things, a heart attack. imagine that. while playing football. one assumes that when someone plays football, he probably has been playing for awhile, therefore should be fit enough to play the game, and probably know when to stop playing, so to get a heart attack while playing,.. is bizzarre.

the 2nd guy, died in an accident involving himself and... (this may sound funny but try not to laugh coz its disrespectful..), a kerbau. also known as a buffalo. for those that do not know, kerbaus (pandai2 je letak 's' for plural of kerbau. haha.) always roam around the roads infront of utp at nite, and since they are dark in color and there arent any lights lighting up the roads, utp students often hear tales of people having accidents with these behemoths. and believe me, they are quite big and quite strong. there was one story that i heard, a group of ppl were in a kancil and they banged into a kerbau, and the kerbau actually stared back at them for a few seconds before actually moving away. its as if the kancil banging into the blasted kerbau was like a mosquito bite or sumthing. (who'd ever thought i'd use so many animals in one sentence. haha.)

of course, the thought of students, almost the same age as me, dying, is somewhat scary. but who cares rite? ppl die all the time. even babies die. sure its a bit scary, but i dont even know these ppl, so no big deal....

or so i thought.

after finishing our exams, (yeay!), me and the guys went to ipoh to blow some steam.. it was the usual, bowling, movies, some of them went to mcd after that, but i was already lacking sleep, so i passed. quantum of solace is nice, btw, not as nice as casino royale, but still nice. action wise, top notch, but the story was moving a bit too fast for me to fully digest whats going on. but all in all, a nice movie. as for the bowling, i sucked big time. cant really say it was the lane, coz there were other ppl that had better scores even though the lane wasnt in tip top condition,  i guess it was just me. i scored 99 and 98. cant remember the last time i scored BELOW 100, so it kinda sucked for me.

anyways, while waiting for the midnight movie, some of the guys went for karaoke. see, the karaoke place is in the bowling alley area, and so we bumped into other utp friends there. fyi, it is almost impossible for you not to bump into a utp student at jusco during the weekends. especially so after the exams... duh. haha. so anyways, i went there a bit late coz i had to, er, shake hands with the president. haha. and so when i got there, my friend came up to me and told me something that is quite,.. disturbing...

if you guys recall, i became a facilitator for the orientation week this sem. so as a facilitator, i had one group of students to handle. my friend, the one that came up to me also was a faci and also had a group. it turns out that, the guy that had the heart attack, was in his group. and i know that guy..

well, not to say i know him very well, i just know him, as in i know who my friend was talking about when he mentioned it to me.

i guess it has a big impact on me.  as far as i know, none of my friends have died. sure, there have deaths in my family before, but no one that was actually younger than me. yes, he was actually younger than me. born in 1990 if my calculations are correct.

to see this guy alive and well at one time, and to suddenly hear that he's dead, is... i dont know what the word is for this one. guess this goes to show death knows no boundaries.

it really opened my eyes. life is short, shorter than i may think, apparently. i need to live life more. no more wasting time, staying alone at home, doing nothing but sleep and  play computer games all the time. (i barely play any computer games nowadays, but still... ). its time for change. and what better time to make a change in my life than during my internship. i'll be working, which means i will have some extra cash. plus, ill be in the vicinity of kuala lumpur, which means i can try out stuff ive always wanted to try while i was in pasum but never got the chance (i.e: ice skating! :D). hehe.

plus, i should have more money to go travelling. hehe. i do like travelling to new places, just that id rather not go alone, id prefer it if some friends, or family perhaps, could come with me. but thats the problem really, not everyone likes travelling. and not that many people can afford it. even worse, not many people think that its a good way to spend your money... haihs... i guess they've never heard of the proverb "jauh perjalanan, luas permandangan". (dunno what the english version is, but ill find out later).

i feel like writing more, but i dont really have anything else to say, so i guess i'll stop here. oh yeah, in case anyone's wondering, i'll be doing my internship at johnson and  johnson, petaling jaya. hehe. ill be an intern for 8 months, starting this december, so plenty of time to do stuff during that time. hehe. oh yeah, im not sure, but i dont think there'll be any internet connection where i'm staying, so probably wont be blogging so often. (macam la "often" sgt skrg ni. haha.)

erm, another important thing to mention, my parents are going for haji this wednesday (26th november 2008), so i'd appreciate it if you guys could pray for my parents safety and well-being. thanks a lot.

last but not least, i was actually planning something different for this post, but since i didnt even plan on writing this post, the "something different" will have to wait till the next time i blog. hehe.

oh yeah! totally forgot about the majlis doa selamat and tahlil (refer to previous posting). all in all, it was a successfull ceremony. thank you very2 much to everyone that came. it meant a lot to me. semoga Allah memberkati tuan2 dan puan2 sekalian. i'd blog about it, but there really isn't that much to blog about, hehe. but a friend of mine did blog about it, you can read it here. (ive never actually tried linking another page, so forgive me if the link doesnt work. huhu.)

and, the final 'last but not least', hehe, i'd like to wish everyone that have NOT finished their exams, good luck, do your best, to those that HAVE and are in their sweet holidays, happy holidays, stay safe, and to those that are 'unlucky' in the sense that their holidays have been cut short due to the internship programme, good luck with you internship, take care, especially the people that are going overseas, and i'll see you guys in 8 months!

take care everyone.

ciao~

experiment

apparently, friendster has this new thingy where i can save what i wrote yesterday.... eh wait.

hello ppl. tlupa plak.

k. lets move on. as i was saying, friendster blog has this new thingy (or maybe its an old thingy, coz i never really explore the possibilities with this thing) where i can save what i wrote and come back and finish it off some other time. which is sweeeet, since i always have stuff to say at times, but when i actually do open up my blog to write something, the idea is already boring to me, (although it might be interesting to you guys), so i end up not writing anything... huhu.

so the reason im telling you guys this is that im testing this new(?) feature out. ill write something today (29th October 2008), and maybe when i get the time, i'll write something else, whenever that may be..

actually the reason that got me writing again, a bit early according to my schedule if i might add, is because some of my friends have started writing their blogs, and i dunno, seeing them write, makes me want to write something, which is childish, i know, but what the heck. haha.

is there anything interesting at all to write about today? hmm. not really. all boring stuff, as usual. o yea, a sad fact, i still havent gotten a placement for my internship, but for some reason i myself am not aware of, i am surprisingly extremely optimistic on the matter, even though there is no reason for me to be this way. most of the people in my course, most of my friends, have gotten a placement, some even have more than one, but i am somehow unaffected by all this. sure it kinda sucks when they start talking bout where they're going to stay, what they're going to do, who's going with them, bla3, and i dont really have anything to say to join in the conversation, but i dont really mind. in fact, im actually feeling happy for them. which is something i usually am not inclined to do. haha.

okay. enuf for today. lets wait for next time aite.

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its november 4th, 3 32 am. i finally found the time to write something..

you can never really see where your life is headed. sure, you may plan, predict, but you can never truly know where its going for sure, until you're there.

b4, i talked about how i havent gotten any internship placement yet. the next day, i got 2 offers. unexpected. well, i was expecting to get offered somewhere, just not 2 offers, in the same day... and just yesterday, i got another one. so that makes 3. weird huh. out of nowhere these offers pop up. ah well, that is life.

ive run out of things to write about. interesting things, anyway. probably coz my brains in a jam from all the studying and the coffee i just drank.

owh. remembered something. how fun it is, to know that you're in your study week, and some of your friends in other universities, have finished their exams. they are out of their misery, yours is only beginning. -_-"

my family is having a doa selamat and tahlil next week. odds are the ppl that read this blog are invited. if youre not, tell me. a person that reads my blog, should be invited, even though i may not know you very well. its kind of a big thing for me, this ceremony. for the most obvious reason, its a gathering to wish my parents well on their haji trip. 2ndly, bcoz, most of my friends in UTP havent been to my house, so for me to have a solid reason to invite them to come to my house is a good thing.

i really cant think of anything else worth writing now. guess ill stop here and continue some other time.

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november 6th, 3.27 am.

this shall probably be the last time i write in this particular post. afraid this post may be wee bit too long if i continue.

honestly, there really is nothing to write about today. apart from celebrating afiq's bday. which was nice i guess.

moving on, im nearing the 2nd half of my study week and i have barely done any studying at all. which is very bad... curse all these projects that need to be finished... why have these useless projects anyways? have i learned anything from them? okay, honestly, yes. one. i learned that if you wait long enough, you can copy somebody else's work. haha.what a waste of time...

and it spoils the study mood. you're supposed to be concentrating on your studies fully during the study week, but since you're swamped with work and other stuff, the concentration's gone. proof? some of the guys went out for bowling just now. and tomorrow, some are going for quantum of solace. (if you dont know what this is, you definitely arent a movie buff). by the way, although i never really was a fan of the bond series, but i definitely liked casino royale.. it was really nice! i am definitely looking forward to quantum of solace.

at this point, for my internship, i shall probably be going to johnson and johnson. yeah, the shampoo company. ive heard only good things bout the place, and the pays not bad. but some seniors have said that the workhours sometimes can be quite long. instead of going off at 5 30 pm for example, try 5 30 am. i kid u not. wow huh? but of course you'll get the next day off.. very interesting eh?

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I fell asleep.

november 6th, 1.13 pm.

due to falling asleep, i have forgotten what i was going to write down. but i did get some ideas after reading other ppls blogs. call it a realization if you will (and if there is such a word as realization)

there are so many blogs out there. really. so many. why? ive written some time ago about why ppl stop writing blogs, but never really why ppl start writing blogs..

do we crave the attention? do we need the interaction with other ppl so desperately that we post blogs for ppl to read and comment and go to sometimes extreme lengths to promote our blog? lets ponder about it for a moment. what do we really get when ppl read our blogs? when ppl post a comment?

sure, some of the super popular bloggers can really change the world with their blog (the chancellor of my university for example, che det), and some blogs that are popular enuf, they can have advertising to increase the balance in their pockets...

no. im not talking about these ppl. im talking about us. nobodies. (compared to che det, im definitely a nobody, and so are you, i think, unless ur che det and u've come to read my blog, then that makes me a somebody, coz che det is reading my blog... haha.) why do we write? we dont really have anything to benefit from it. yet we are excited when we spot the new comments on our blog. do we really care THAT much on what ppl think about us? are we really that lame? haha

uish. i should not have brought this up here. this topic on its own could cover one entire posting, and ive already written some stuff... i dont want my blog to be too long, now do i?

here's what i think, if it matters anyway. humans crave attention. we crave it on every level. we sometimes wear clothes that are attractive so that ppl will stare. we sumtimes talk to almost any stranger for no apparent reason than to fill the time or avoid an awkward moment. we bring our handphones everywhere, chat with absolute strangers in chatrooms, join social websites, forums, and last but most definitely not the least, hop from one blog to another and write our own blogs.

it is a way to be heard. blogs. when che det's thoughts couldnt get into mainstream media, he started blogging. and im guessing its the same for us. for every blogger.

blasted ppl keep popping into my room... nk tulis blog dgn aman pun susah..

i shall make it short then. ppl like attention. ppl want to be heard. blog is a way to be heard. some are so desperate for their voices to be heard, they promote their blog to extreme lengths (my opinion anyways, not necessarily true). because in the end, no matter how much we say we dont care, we really do care, if only a little, about what ppl think about us, and whether ppl give a damn about us or not.

so thats why i get happy or excited when i see new comments. there is someone out there that actually cares enuf to actually say something to what i have to say. haha. pathetic eh? i know. in the end, we are all pathetic ppl. haha. nobody can live alone.

and this concludes my experiment on this new style of blogging. i have to say, its been somewhat fun, no pressure to write so much in so little time. but somewhat tiring as well, as i need to face this blog thing for so many days, when i usually face it only once a month. how u guys manage to post so many in so short a time perplexes my timid mind. haha.

damn it, more ppl popping in! perlu ke masuk sini.. -_-" shuh2. stop lah cmni.

tk cr.

ciao~

raya n puasa.

yelah, yelah, aku update... lolz.

hello everyone.. slmt hari raya. maaf zahir n batin. halalkan makan minum. sekiranya ada hutang saya yang masih tak terbayar, sila lah ingatkan..

now that thats out of the way, i shall now talk about things i like about puasa n raya in random order. haha. what kind of introduction is this... -____-"

i like raya. it is the one time where everyone is so nice to each other, no one seems to be quarrelling, all arguments are put aside for that one day, and long lost friends pop up out of nowhere to visit you. you suddenly start talking to people you havent talked to in ages, and they too with you. you get to meet all your relatives (most, if not all), be it close or distant ones.. n o yea, did i mention you'll get loads of cash from your suddenly rich aunts and uncles..? hehe.

i used to look forward to raya so much when i was a kid. but now, it just feels like any other holiday. huhu. sad, i know, but its the truth. i dont really care bout the money i get anymore. the only thing i look forward to during raya is the long holiday and the chance to meet most of my relatives at the same time. huhu.

also, its kinda hard to get into the holiday spirit when there's tons of work to be done... i actually had nightmares of not submitting my assignments, not finishing my projects.. haihs. raya is just not the same anymore... i still like it, dont get me wrong, but its just not the same....

owh yeah, the thing i liked most bout this raya, is when my parents talked about when i was young. according to them, i didnt like to smile when i was a kid. haha. my dad told to me, "you were so grumpy, that when this one time you actually smiled to the bread-seller (i bought bread and other junk from this bread-seller almost everyday, fyi), he actually gave you free stuff because he was so happy to see you smile". lolz. when i smiled, i actually got free stuff. maybe my brain at that time stored that little bit of info, coz nowadays i smile almost all the time. i even smile when im in trouble (imagine the joker, but not as scary. haha) . my brain is subconciously trying to get me more free stuff. haha.

i laugh at my own jokes all the time eh? haha. i think its like the sitcoms. they add in the laughs to help make the show funnier. laughter is contagious. so when i laugh at my own jokes, hopefully you'll laugh at them as well. or laugh at me for being so pathetic. haha.

well that was one thing they told me about my childhood. there are other stuff, but i shall not write them here. want to know more, ask me personally. hehe.

erm, getting back to the topic of raya n puasa, apart from that, there was hardly anything special bout this raya. been there done that. huhu. im actually quite bummed because for this raya i couldnt meet most of my cousins and relatives. eh wait, i did meet most of them, but i didnt meet them all at once... i was with one family during the first day of raya, then they left to go somewhere else, and then another family came, and then they left and another family came... etc2. you get my drift. so of course i met most of my relatives, but its not as fun as meeting all of them together at the same time... huhu.

thats about it for raya. what about puasa... o yea, i had sahur with my eyes closed that one time. haha. and after finishing my plate of rice did i realise i had an extra lauk that i didnt see... haha. padan muka. malas sgt. but it was nice to be able to actually SLEEP before sahur. when i got home, my mum would wake me up for sahur. but in UTP, i was the one that was waking ppl up for sahur, most of the time anyways. i have problem waking up, as you all may have already known if youve been following my blog (lolz), so in order to be able to sahur, i usually dont sleep before sahur. i only sleep after sahur...

sometimes, if i were to accidentally fall asleep before sahur, my whole house would not be having sahur. haha. it happened on the last day i was in UTP before i went home for the raya holidays. since it was the last time we were going to have sahur together, my friends and i had planned to go out of UTP for sahur. BUT, most unfortunate, i fell asleep. i fell asleep, so nobody was awake. nobody was awake, therefore nobody woke up for sahur.... haha. funny eh?

so now you guys know why i skip my classes oh so often during the fasting month. at least its for a good reason rite? hehe. (alasan...)

oh yeah, one more thing i'd like to talk about puasa. i used to think that in the fasting month, i would be able to save some cash, since i wont be eating during the day. only after reaching raya did i realise how wrong i was... huhu. during puasa, i eat during sahur time, (which is around 4 am for me n my housemates in UTP), and during berbuka puasa. during non-fasting months, i eat during lunch and dinner time. so even though its puasa, i still eat the same number of time each day! haha. perhaps even more, because during sahur my brain is thinking "eat as much as you can! so that you wont starve to death during the day!". haha. and while breaking fast " eat as much as you can! you almost starved to death during the day, now is the time to recover!" haha.

what makes it worse is that, during puasa, you cant help but want something special to eat during berbuka puasa (break fast, not breakfast). during regular months, i only eat regular food, just to not go hungry, maybe occasionally ill go for something nice. but during fasting month.... huh. its as if i'll die if i dont eat delicious food.. haha. and of course, slightly more delicious food would cost slightly more. and dont get me started on the jamuan buffet berbuka puasa n etc2. haha. therefore, fasting month not equal to saving month. haha. i save better during regular months.

and thats all for now i think. overall, although its not the same as before, i still like raya n puasa. if i dont celebrate n enjoy raya n puasa, what else will i celebrate? when i think about it, its not all that bad. every year's celebration of raya n puasa is unique in its own way. 10 years from now, i'll probably look back to this year and say "those were the good ol' days..". hehe. and its true, isnt it? you have to agree with me on this one. if you look back to your raya celebration 10 years ago, you'd definitely say those days were the best raya you've ever had. i cant exactly remember what i was doing for raya when i was 9, but i know for sure, i enjoyed it a lot. :)

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"mawi dah kaya,

siti dah datin,

selamat hari raya,

maaf zahir dan batin."

............................................................................................................

lolz.

cant help but laugh at my own jokes. double lolz.

dah la ni pun curi pantun org. triple lolz.

haha. what the fish.

>_<

thats all for now ppl.

take care. chows.