Ruud

I sometimes wonder how people can be very rude. To people that they are angry with, or people they've known for a long time, yes. But people they've just met?

I'm no saint, but its practically impossible for me to be rude to someone I've just met, even if I tried.

Why are there rude people in this world? Were they taught from childhood to be rude? Maybe.

Maybe not taught to be rude directly, but not being taught on how to be polite.

Perhaps rude people think that they are superior to others, therefore they feel that a way to show their superiority is to be rude and see that the other party can't do anything about it.

It just makes me sad to be in the company of rude people.

I myself am rude sometimes, but most of the time its to prove a point. Sometimes being rude shows that you're serious, you're not playing around.

But to be rude just for the sake of showing off is just plain wrong.

Pity those that were not raised with good values.

Pity more those that were, but lost them in the process.

Me? I was raised well, strayed a little, but now I'm back on the right path.

But I have a long way to go.

As do we all.

Peace.

The Actual Return.

"Jahil yang tahu satu ilmu, maka itulah sahaja yang dia tahu. Alim yang tahu satu ilmu, juga sedar dia tidak tahu sepuluh."

Despite my best efforts, I can never find anything actually interesting to write about. Its just all so very boring.

But the people I meet are very interesting specimens indeed. For instance, I've never actually met someone that's just plain unhelpful. As in "why should I help? not my problem.".

I met someone like that today.

To not help when someone needs help but isn't asking for it is one thing, to not help when someone is asking for help is just darn right mean. Borderline evil.

Its not like you're going to lose anything by helping. But you stand to gain loads by helping. I.e : you scratch my back, I scratch yours.

Mentality of some human beings.

Also, females are very emotional beings. They get very emotional when they don't get what they want. If they're angry with their boss, they hide it and probably cry in the toilet because they can't really say anything.

But if they're angry with someone at the same level or below them, i.e me, they lash out and / or tattle out to my superior. Such an annoying trait.

I can see why there are so many gays running around. Ouch.

Or why she's not yet married. Double ouch.

Scratch that last one. There's plenty more reasons why she isn't married other than that. Triple ouch.

Speaking of bosses, some bosses really do have sticks up their bottoms.

One boss at work rarely ever smiles, and even when he does, it seems... weird.

He also has this funny (creepy) laugh, kinda like the sound you make when you wanna smell your own breath to see if its fresh or not.

I really don't like him, so I try my best to avoid contact with him. And I see he is doing the same as well.

Win-win situation.

But the higher ups seem to like him very much because he seems to be leading his department well.

If that's the price of performance, then I choose to be a loser anytime.

The mere sight of him makes me stressed sometimes. But now that I don't really work with him anymore, no more stress.

He just makes my eyes itch sometimes.

What prompted this unexpected return you ask? Well, I've actually more or less mastered my work.

So which means the time I spend actually thinking and worrying about work, is now no longer used.

In other words, I'm bored.

Yes, to be honest, I was so engrossed with my work, I really wanted to do well in work, I struggled like mad, when after 2 months I realized, you can only do so much, God does the rest.

Kinda suits me coz I'm in the Planning department.

Now I have some spare time at work, and due to my unhectic work life, I have more free time on my hands.

Which reminds me, I have to sweep my room. Its been two weeks.

If only I can find the broom underneath all these dust bunnies...

Peace

The Return.

"I can avoid being seen if I wish, but to disappear entirely, that is a rare gift."

Hi. I'm back.

No I didn't really go anywhere. Back blogging.

Yes. I am back. For good.

Really.

Though I don't really have anything to say....

Hmm.

Did not put much thought into this.

Will be back soon with actual things to write about.

Peace.

Monologue.

I am stressing myself out too much. I feel like the world is unfair.

I try to focus on the positives and remind myself how lucky i am, but lets face it, I am never content with what I have.

It is part of being human, I'm told.

Its true, you meet all sorts of people at work.

Very nice people, very rude people, hypocrites, timid, honest, all the adjectives you can think off.

Me? I'm the quiet, shy one. I try to avoid coming off as arrogant by smiling a lot.

So far its working 70% i think.

There are people that know my name, when I do not know theirs. Which is a weakness on my part.

I try to be less inhibited by my fears. I feel myself improving by day.

I moan and grumble a lot now. Some people care, but not the ones that should.

Never judge a book by its cover. And never judge people by the way they look.

Apparently, some feel that its professional to yell at someone and expect that person not to take heart.

I just think when you need to yell, you're just not communicating properly.

I tell myself often that I should be grateful, but it always tells me otherwise.

If I am not grateful, at least I am trying to be.

Often when I really think about it, I don't really know what I want.

I thought at first it was money, but when I'm tired I just want some rest.

So I never really ask God for anything specific. I just ask Him to take care of me.

I sometimes wonder if He really is looking after me, and if so, why is he putting me through self-doubt and hardships?

Then He reminds me of Muhammad, and how he was born an orphan.

I really should learn to complain less. But that is just who I am. But I'm learning. Slowly.

I know not if this is the true path He intends for me to follow, but I do know it is leading there.

For now, I'll just have to take it one step at a time.

Peace and love.