Bewilderment.

it's weird.

the roads that were all too familiar before.

feels foreign now.

all that's left is that distant memory.

i used to live here.

i drove on this road almost everyday.

now i don't drive.

and i live somewhere else.

don't get me wrong.

i like it here.

very much so.

but there's no place like home.

of course, no one's forced me to come here.

i came here because i wanted to know.

i wanted to see.

i wanted to hear.

i wanted to feel.

and now i do.

i know things i couldn't have possibly known before.

i've seen things i probably wouldn't have had the chance previously.

i used to hear people talk, now i'm telling the stories.

and i feel a myriad of emotions.

things i'd never thought i'd feel.

when you pack up your life and leave for a distant foreign land to start fresh, you'd surprise yourself.

i wanted to push myself outside my comfort zone, and i managed to do so exceptionally well.

when i first got here, i've never felt so lost, so out of place.

i felt like buying the first ticket back home.

when i arrived it was night time, so i couldn't see much.

i remember waking up the morning after in my hotel room.

it was then when it hit me.

i'm thousands of miles away from anywhere i've ever been.

i'm thousands of miles away from anyone i've ever known.

i've never even travelled alone outside the country..

but i decided to jump on a plane and move to God knows where and live there.

took a couple of hours for me to really process the whole situation.

i remember taking a peek through the curtains out the window.

i saw some cars parked behind the hotel, and presumably a Pakistani man (from his clothing) going about his business.

i don't know what i expected to see.

probably was looking for some semblance of similarity in an otherwise alien location.

people always see the glitz and glamour of living abroad.

the selfies with iconic landmarks in the background.

the high-roller lifestyle you're supposedly living.

social media is not so different from mainstream media.

it is merely a portrayal of what the producer wants you to see.

what you don't see is the loneliness of being far from anyone you've held dear.

the struggles of trying to fit in into a different culture / way of thinking.

this huge gamble you've made on the course of your life.

but i'd say it's a risk worth taking.

once in a lifetime opportunity.

i took it. and it paid off.

and now i'm looking for my next adventure. haha.

we shall see where life takes us.

anything outside your normal routine is an adventure that will lead you to new and exciting discoveries.

you just need to take that first step.

peace.

Let The Days

Let the days go as they please
And be optimistic when destiny decrees
Do not despair due to the events of nights past
For the events of this world were not meant to last

And be a man who, in the face of fear is strong
With loyalty and forbearance adorned
And if your mistakes are many amongst the folk
And you wish to have for those mistakes a cloak

Then conceal them with generosity as hence
Every fault is covered as –  is said- by benevolence
And do not show weakness to an enemy
For dispersion of foes is a calamity

Generosity cannot be hoped from the miserly
For no water exists in the Fire for the thirsty
And your rizq will not decrease though late it may arrive
And it will not increase though one may slave and strive

No sadness lasts forever, nor any felicity
Nor any state of poverty or one of luxury
If you are the owner of a heart that is content
Then you and the owner of the world are equivalent

And for him upon whose horizon death descends,
No earth can offer him protection, nor any sky defend
The earth of Allah is certainly vast and infinite
But if decree descends, then all the sky constricts

Let the days betray every once in a while
For there is no medicine that will protect from death

A poem by Imam Shafi'e
[Translation by Ammar Al Shukry]

Silly opinion.

I think wishing someone Merry Christmas does not make me a Christian. It does not make me believe that Jesus is the Son of God, it is only me wishing the person an enjoyable holiday. It does not go beyond that. Same way I feel when non-Muslims greet me with salam and when they wish me Selamat Hari Raya. I don't think they are accidentally Muslims now.

But this is just a silly opinion from a silly person with no religious basis whatsoever.

I've thought up of my new year's resolutions.

And it will be quite interesting if I manage to achieve them.

But I'm keeping these close to the chest.

Sorry.

But enough about me.

Let's talk about the world that we live in.

It's perfect in all its imperfections. As contradictory as that may be.

And yes, that is the correct way of using apostrophes with the word 'it'.

I've googled that so many times.

Grammar nazi.

Although I'm uncertain whether I'm spelling apostrophes correctly.

Have I ever mentioned that I like poetry?

I'm not that crazy about them, but I do appreciate them whenever I stumble upon them.

I don't think I'm that good with writing them though.

Can't be good at everything.

Heh.

It's been a stressful couple of weeks at work, glad to see the deadlines are met.

On to more chillaxed working environment.

I was supposed to talk about this world we live in, but I meandered.

I've often thought how different people are to each other.

And I used to think how the world would be like if everyone was exactly like me.

Then I realised that that would be a pretty boring world.

But if everyone was that very fun guy at the office for example, the world would be absolutely chaotic.

No work would be done, everyone would just be talking about how good they are.

But everyone would be having fun though.

So my conclusion is, despite all our good attributes, we have bad attributes as well.

And other people, with their flaws, they have their redeeming qualities as well.

So the mixture of imperfections actually makes the world a better place.

And it goes the same for everything that goes on in this teeny tiny world.

Imagine if there was no war, only peace.

Imagine if there were no natural disasters.

Imagine if there were no diseases.

You know what would happen?

Overpopulation.

We'd probably have no place to live before long.

The world would probably turn barren before long.

But again this is just a silly opinion from a silly person.

In conclusion, there are things in life that just annoys the heck out of you.

There are things that will downright piss you off.

But that's life.

There's always going to be more ideal conditions, there's always going to be much nicer people to be around.

But things could be a whole lot worse.

Key to happiness is to always focus on how lucky you've got it, but never forget how things can be better.

That way, you're continuously pushing yourself to be the best you can, and you'll not grow complacent in your comfy comfort zone. When things go bad, you won't be so disappointed, and when things do go your way, you'll be pleasantly surprised and grateful.

Pessimists will say this sort of stuff will never work.

Shit, if you don't try you'll never know.

Personally, I think it does work.

I'm content with life.

I've found..

Peace.

Aspiring yet uninspiring poet

A young heart, an old soul
Always on guard, forever cold
A silent bard, with stories untold
As thoughts are scarred, with dreams on hold