I've disappeared. for quite a bit. but now I've reappeared.
I've been doing loads of things. mostly nothing of import.
Ultimately nothing is really that important.
But it's important that you do it.
Like perhaps, taking a bath. lol.
I was occupied with work. Silly thing to be occupied with.
When you're on your deathbed, you're not going to regret not working enough.
You'll probably regret not doing things you wanted to do.
Which will probably be very confusing for a person that did not know what he wanted to do.
Or perhaps a very calming moment? Not exactly living your life to the fullest, but having no regrets whatsoever.
You can have everything you ever wanted in life, and you'd still want more.
They say life begins at 40. Feels like an eternity away.
Sometimes time moves both too fast and too slow.
Suddenly it's June, almost half of the year is gone. And yet, 40-year old me is 14 years away from now.
Would it be better if time moved faster or slower?
I guess it would depend on how you currently feel.
Time flies when you're having fun, they also say.
When I was studying, I don't think I enjoyed my final exams very much, yet 3 hours just seemed to fly by in an instant.
So I suppose they were wrong. Or maybe partially wrong.
Time also flies when you have a deadline.
I've been doing a lot of flying lately.
Probably not as much as other people, but enough to make me get used to it.
Not as afraid of flying as I was before.
3 countries I've been to this year, so far.
That's as far as it goes, most probably, all my annual leaves are out. Sob.
Went to Saudi Arabia for Umrah, went to Phuket for leisure, and went to Indonesia for spiritual reasons.
Barely ever at my house when it's the weekends.
But whenever I am home, I don't really have much to do.
I'm turning into a loner. And not so much by choice.
I guess it's true when they say the older you get, the less friends you'll have.
I'm sure my friends are out there somewhere, but I just don't really want to go out and find them.
Makes me sound kind of like a jerk, but it's the old age talking.
I'm not going to say no if anyone finds me and wants to hang out, but I prefer to stay in my cave and hibernate.
I've realised something a few days ago.
Whenever a female friend gets married, that will probably be the last I'll see of them.
There is no socially acceptable way for me to ask them and hang out.
Their husbands would mount my head on a wall.
Which is kind of sad. As some were quite close friends.
But that's life.
You learn and realise new things everyday. Part of growing old.
Funny how I'm not that old yet sometimes I feel ancient.
Some would say I have an old soul, but according to Islam, all souls were "created" at the same time, so we know that's not true.
Funny how I say we know. KNOW. When we don't really know.
We just choose to believe what we're told. And that's faith.
I guess that's why there are 3 levels of faith in Islam, at least from what I know.
Or is it degrees of belief? Potayto potahto.
I did some googling as I did not know the English words for it so, they are :-
1- Certainty at the degree of knowledge (ilmal yakin)
2- Certainty at the degree of witnessing (ainul yakin)
3- Absolute certainty (haqqul yakin)
This website I took it from has a great explanation on the differences between the three. I can't vouch for any of their other content, but this one article is legit and explains it quite well.
Let's face it, even if we're all Muslims, we all have different levels of faith. Most of us are skeptics. We question. We wonder.
But society frowns upon Muslims that question, so we keep it to ourselves.
So whenever something that is said in the Quran for example, coincides with what science has proven, we rejoice and tell the whole world!
We say, "HAH! Science has only discovered what the Quran has been saying for ages! Islam is the Truth!"
But in my humble opinion, this is a sign of doubt on our part.
If we truly believed in something, we wouldn't need anything else to corroborate it, we'd just take it as it is.
If we truly believed in Islam we wouldn't need to have science prove it for us. Instead SCIENCE should prove itself to Islam.
We'd probably go check the Quran to verify the findings of our experiment, or something of the sort.
And I feel the way to achieve that level of belief is to immerse yourself with it.
Make Islam a way of life, rather than just a religion.
How can you not believe then? It is a part of you. It's who you are.
Happy Ramadhan everyone. May we all get the most from it.