Thursday, February 25, 2010

things i'll never say

here's something interesting i heard recently.

a friend of mine, lets call him A, for some reason the other day confided in me a problem he has. guess it troubled him a bit keeping it all bottled up. me, being the super-reliable friend that i am, decided to listen though most of the time i don't really like meddling in other people's business.

see, this A was in a relationship of sorts a long time ago, 5 years back i think. since then as far as i can tell he hasn't been in another one. maybe he thought he didn't like getting tied or not really into the whole relationship thing, i dunno. anyways, he told me that his ex contacted him the other day. let's go alphabetical and call the ex-gf B. haha

apparently they still keep in touch even after the breakup coz they're friends with the same people, and probably coz A felt kinda bad for the way he ended the thing. so they chatted a bit, did some catching up, just casual stuff that friends would normally do.

then, B suddenly says that she misses him, which caught A totally off guard. he says to her "don't you have a boyfriend?". B goes on to say that she never got over him, even after all these years, and that the guy that she was supposedly dating, she wasn't really into, so she broke up with that guy recently.

(i was kinda smirking at this point coz i thought my friend was making up stories to make him look like this hot stud, but from his face it didn't look that way, so i bit my tongue and put on my "serious listener" face)

obviously my friend wasn't too happy bout this. he says that he's been keeping his distance from her to avoid this sort of thing, and actually made up stories of a fictional gf just so the ex would not bug him anymore. (i guessing that this wasn't the first time she did this, but i didn't really ask)

so he kinda said something like "i'm sure there are so many guys out there who would want to be your bf, so pls move on and forget me". and the girl says that there are guys that are interested, but she only has eyes for him. at this point in the story i couldn't like, contain myself so i asked "what did you say then?".  he said that there's not much he CAN say at the moment and kinda repeated what he said before. haha. us guys aren't very articulate, are we.

oh, i forgot to mention that we were in a lecture hall at the time, so gossiping about ex-girlfriends isn't exactly what you're supposed to do in a lecture hall, no matter how boring the lecture / lecturer was, so when A appeared to stop talking i tried to focus on the man talking to himself at the front of the hall.

"......... and that would've been the end of the story if it weren't for Facebook!", A continued.

"hehe, apa jadi plak lepas tu?", says I. the balding man at the front will have to continue talking to himself. haha.

A goes on to say that not a week after their conversation, B changes her status to "In a relationship with ***", the star being some other guy.

wow. no wonder he seemed upset. that was quick.

he says that he's not upset or anything, he's just mad that she's doing this sort of thing, AGAIN. (much emphasis on the again part). he says that she has been doing this, i.e saying something and then doing something completely opposite to what she just said, always, even when they were together. he couldn't care less who she ends up with at this point, but why say to him she still loves him, then suddenly be with someone else 5 minutes later? (obviously an exaggeration to make his point. do i really need to explain this? haha) is it just to screw with his brain? or did she mean what she said? if she did, then is she just playing around with this new guy?

i have to admit, i understand A's frustration. no this is not just the "supportive friend" talking, this is me as a human talking. sometimes girls, or more generally people do things that really, REALLY get on your nerves, but what really annoys you isn't the act itself, but rather WHY it is done. you can't seem to understand WHY someone would do such a thing.

but, for the life of me, i couldn't say anything at the time. i don't know WHAT to say to him. i mean, i wanted to say something, maybe advice, or maybe a cheer-up, but i couldn't come up with anything. sigh, us guys really are bad with words.

and so, we sat there, silent, finally paying attention to the guy talking at the front of the hall, who appears to be laughing at his own jokes at the time. though i couldn't really offer any words of advice or anything at all that might have helped, i think just listening helps sometimes. i think. i mean, my friend seemed to be actually laughing to the jokes the lecturer was making, so he must be okay. hahah.

maybe the girl was telling the truth. maybe she was still in love with A, but she finally realizes that she should move on so she hooks up with the guy that she thinks will help her do that. or maybe the girl was just plain evil and wanted to mess with A's head. or maybe there's an entirely different reason that A has conveniently left out of the story. or maybe something totally unrelated. who knows, really.

Although I'm pretty sure A & B won't be reading this, you can never really tell. If anyone related to this story reads this, your identity has been kept a secret, so no one will know it was you. If by any chance A is reading this, my advice to you is this : whether she forgets you or not, its you that should forget her. stop letting her mess with your head. and try to pay more attention in class. haha.

If by any chance B is reading this, I can't really tell why you did what you did, but I sincerely wish you all the best in your new relationship. coz if you are in love with A, then your relationship is going to need all the help it can get. but if you are in love with the new guy, then may he be able to withstand your "charms".

oh, i wanna know what you guys think as well, so please do comment. be it here, or facebook (this is for ayol in case she can't seem to get the comment thing to work again. haha).

till next time, peace.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

love song for no one

As I jumped around from blog to blog, I realize that most of the blogs are talking about love, or lack thereof. See, as a guy that pays too much attention to his computer than to girls, I don't really have much to say about this. However, I believe that whoever you are, be it a plain Jane or a smokin' supermodel, there is someone out there for you and you should settle for no less than that someone, although it may take you a few someones to figure out what you really want, or more importantly, what you really need.

I recently watched a not-so-lovey-dovey movie called "500 Days of Summer". Quite late, I know. At first I was under the impression it was a lovey-dovey movie, so I wasn't all that into these types of movies, but since I've heard quite a few people talk about it, I decided I'll give it a shot.

And I really liked it! This is reality! Not the same fairy tale we've been fed for so long.

If you haven't seen it, go see it because I'll be talking about it for a bit.

People were pitying the guy, and who could blame them, but I say, it was the guy's fault. The girl said from the beginning that she wanted to be only friends, and the only thing she did wrong was that she did what she said she wanted. I pity the guy too, but honestly the girl didn't exactly do anything wrong.

And the guy was pissed off at the girl for not wanting to go to the next level with him, but suddenly married some guy she knew for only a short while. However, I really liked her explanation. It was short and simple. "I just woke up one day and I knew, what I never was sure of with you".

The thing I liked most about the movie, apart from how real it felt (not some fluffed up love story), is the subtle yet strong messages throughout the movie. One would be when the little sister said that she thinks that the girl wasn't the 'one' for his brother and he should recall not only the good parts, but also the bad parts of the relationship. I think people sometimes focus too much on the good things or in some cases the bad things, and we forget the other things. But that's life I suppose. Focus more on the guy's money, you'll forget how ugly he looks. Stuff like that.

Another one would be the part when he met the new girl, Autumn. See, there was this beautiful girl, that had the same interests as he did, that liked the same spot in the city as he liked, and noticed him there, but he didn't notice her. And her answer to that was "You must not have been looking". He was so blinded by this one girl who didn't really appreciate what he liked, he didn't see this other girl who could have been so right for him.

Ok enough lovey dovey talk. haha. In conclusion it is a very nice movie and if you haven't seen it yet, then you should.

I shall stop here. Didn't really have anything to write. Just got bored. Happy Chinese New Year everyone.

p/s: Love song for no one is a song by John Mayer. not a bad song for single people. haha.