To write and show it to the public leaves your vulnerable.
Sometimes the thought of it can be overwhelming.
I often find myself writing things, but decided they were too personal or too stupid or too whatever to be shared and I don't.
I suppose that means that I'm an introvert? We think a lot, and we speak only when necessary.
Most of the time anyway.
I was lucky enough to be able to visit Madinah recently. It's my second time there.
Being there really puts a few things in perspective.
It being off-peak season now (Hajj season just ended, and most pilgrims have left the country and they haven't opened application for umrah visa), I managed to stay at a 5-star hotel at a relatively cheap price.
Although what counts as a 5-star hotel nowadays is beyond me. But anyways.
When I arrived (it was around 1 am), I checked into the hotel, and I went straight to the mosque for ziarah.
People were sleeping all over the mosque grounds. I don't think most .of them had places to sleep other than the mosque itself.
So it really made me reflect on how lucky I really am.
Also being there made me think on how our environment affects who we are.
Being in Madinah and not wanting to waste the opportunity, I went to the mosque almost every chance I get.
But back in Abu Dhabi, even though there's a mosque right behind my apartment, I seldom pray there.
Only every now and then, to be honest.
I love the environment there. The spirit of the place.
You forget all about work, all about life, and you just focus on your relationship with God.
You wake up, you eat, you pray, you sleep.
There's a definite calming effect to it. Submitting yourself to God.
Life is peaceful when it is kept simple. Nothing to worry about. No trivial pursuits of fortune or other worldly achievements.
Just you minding your own business. Doing what God intended you to be doing in the first place.
Somewhere along the way, we lost ourselves. Our purpose.
We chase things that won't make us happy. We shun the things that will make us happy.
Isn't that really life's biggest test?
To be in the right path, we need to ignore what our brain is saying is the path to happiness, and put our faith completely in God and His Messenger.
To be truthful, it sounds counter-intuitive but that's what it is.
It's what's best for us.
For He knows best.
I'm very philosophical when it comes to these things. I apologize if this is boring you.
This whole working abroad experience has opened my eyes to a lot of things.
Although I think about going home a lot, this adventure I've gotten myself into has definitely changed me and I do not regret taking the leap of faith.
It's a scary thing, packing up and leaving the comforts of your home country, to make a living elsewhere.
You don't know what to expect.
The most simplest of things back home can be extremely difficult to accomplish elsewhere.
Sometimes I feel bewildered and debilitated.
Sometimes you just feel so out of place you just want to be curled up in a fetal position in your bed and let the days past you by.
And sometimes that's exactly what you need to do.
To get rid of that feeling of weakness.
But if you keep on doing that, your life will go to waste.
So sometimes you've gotta slap yourself back to reality and go out and do stuff.
You've come all this way, going out that door and facing the world isn't as tough as it used to be.
You're probably stronger than you give yourself credit for anyways.
So in the end it all depends on you.
You can either let life kick your ass, or you can take charge and grab life by the balls.
And I feel this applies to almost everyone, and not just me.
Well, that's it for now.