More often than I would care to admit, I would write posts, and half-way through, read them and scrap the post altogether.
I read it once, and I hate how it sounds in my head, even though it came from my head.
Quite recently I browsed through a book by Paulo Coelho (an accomplished writer, I think) and I found out that he too hates what he writes most of the time.
Well at least I have the self-deprecation of an actual writer. Haha. Now just need the actual talent.
I don't know, the words never really flow the way I want it to.
But hey, at least I've improved tremendously since I first started writing.
I've done away with the paragraphs (mostly) and gone with the short sentence format because if it was me reading, I hate to see lengthy paragraphs. It just seems to troublesome to read.
I mostly skim through stuff. Rarely read through each and every line. I suppose I'm not a very good reader.
To read something in thorough detail, you'd have to really care, really take the time to read. And I think that most of what we read every day does not get that kind of attention from us.
Let alone a blog post such as mine.
Life has been picking up its tempo recently. Many things are happening, and at the same time, when before, nothing ever really happens.
Life just goes on.
Work has been picking up. I'll not bore you with details, but I have been working late nights to get things done. Which is actually a good thing. As compared to leaving on time but doing nothing at all.
It feels great to know you're doing something significant. You're contributing.
On the negative side, stress comes with the work, and if I'm not careful, it will affect the way I think, so I try to alleviate it when it becomes noticeable.
Also I've not shaved for two weeks or so. My moustache and goatee has grown back to its former glory.
I previously opted for the clean-shaven look, leaving just a little bit of my goatee. But being influenced by this TV show Breaking Bad, I'm now certain that looking bad-ass is the way to go.
Besides work, I've decided to break out of my comfort zone and try new things. I signed up for a 10-km run. Which I've never done in my entire life.
I wanna get healthier. I want to build up my stamina. And I think this is a good way of seeing if I'm making progress from all the jogs I've taken the past year.
I've also pushed myself to be more social. I'm forcing myself to overcome situations which I normally feel would be awkward. So far it has been successful / rewarding.
Nothing in life worth having comes easy.
So I would say, right now, life is good. Life is looking up.
I've always taken pride in being able to read people, but I'm finding it more and more difficult. People just aren't that easy to figure out anymore.
Either that or I've become too much of a pessimist. I assume the worst in everybody, but I often find myself surprised.
But I suppose that is my self-defense mechanism.
I have this theory, on why suddenly everything is falling into place. Life begins at 25.
Well, my life at least.
I feel that some things are expected of me, and when I turn 25, I'm supposed to do these things. Or accomplish something. Or put something in motion.
It's just that feeling, you know? That nagging feeling, deep down inside. You know what I'm talking about.
I turn 25 this December. I'm still not certain on what it is exactly I'm supposed to be doing, but I'm certain next year is the time I'll find out.
The world has a way of correcting stuff out, and I believe it isn't a coincidence that my life is the way it is now.
As any other person that cannot predict his future, I worry. Worry is a good thing. Means you care about what it is your worried about.
So when you're worried about something, do something about it. Make something happen.
It is better to worry about the outcome of things that you've done, rather than worry on something you're not doing anything about.
If you're hungry, you don't just stay like that and hope the hunger goes away. You grab a bite.
Worry works in the same way. Only thing is, there's only so much you can do. The rest is not up to you.
Till next time.