Monday, March 25, 2013

Introvert / Extrovert

I am a self-proclaimed introvert. Yet ask any of my current friends, and they would probably disagree.

I once did a test, and the test said I was an extrovert too.

But in fact I am not. At least I don't think I am.

I am very quiet when it comes to new people. I rarely ever start conversations.

But I find it necessary, especially in work. To be friendlier.

If I'm not going back to my hometown Ipoh, most weekends are spent alone at my apartment, catching up on chores I've neglected to do during the weekdays.

I really don't feel the need to call up and bother friends on weekends.

But that doesn't mean I won't go out if anyone asked me.

I've always thought of myself as an introvert, yet most people think otherwise. 

Now I'm not so sure.

How does one define an introvert? 

Seeing as how I'm too lazy to Google for the answer, how do I define an introvert?

One : I don't mind being alone and not talking to anyone. 

I wouldn't go so far as too say I prefer being alone as opposed to with friends, being with friends is fun, but there are times I wanna be alone. 

Two : I rarely find myself talking to strangers. 

Not the type of person to get into lengthy conversations with the cashier at this restaurant I normally go or what, but I do put in an effort to talk to people when it feels awkward, i.e when you're in an elevator with just this other person and you see each other almost every day but never really talked.

Yes I think that is a strong proof that I am an introvert.

Three :  I think a lot.

More than I would care to admit. I like analyzing things, and sometimes I end up realizing things that upset me. Although I am not sure that thinking a lot constitutes as an introvert.

I feel that thinking a lot makes me an introvert is because there's a person I know at work that talks a lot, but can be a bit oblivious sometimes.

And I'm a 100% sure she's an extrovert.

I have this friend which I would swear is an extrovert, but he insists that he is an introvert. If it is TRUE that he really is an introvert, then he has mastered the art of conversation superbly.

Conversation is an art. To introverts especially. The words do not come flowingly to the tongue. You'd have to be on your proverbial conversation toes to strike up an interesting conversation, and its even tougher to keep the conversation going.

Especially if you're talking to someone you've just met. 

But sometimes its easier. Coz since you don't know much about the person, you can just ask question after question.

It's the people that you know but don't really have that much in common that's hard.

What on earth would I say to these people.

I don't wanna appear rude and reserved, but I really can't think of anything to talk to these people most of the time.

Being Malaysian, most of the time I talk about the weather, rain in particular. Haha.

Next I talk about food. Makan mana?

Once those two topics are discussed, and that said person is still there, I'll just keep quiet and hope they start talking next.

Like now...



Friday, March 8, 2013

Illogical Atheists

The concept of God, to an atheist, is a ridiculous one.

It does not make any sense at all, to them.

However, how many of people that believe in God, thinks that the existence of God makes sense?

Out of the billions of humans in this world that believe in the concept of God, how many of them actually think that God makes perfect sense?

That it would actually be absurd to think that God does not exist?

How many? How many among us, if asked question after question, with logical reasoning, would probably come up to the conclusion that God is not logical?

A mere made-up notion thought up by people ages ago.

We all claim to be logical, educated people that believe in experimental proof and common sense.

We believe all these theories about atoms, cells, electromagnetic forces, chemistry.

Because its been proven to be true.

Yet when the subject of God arises, we turn off our logic and simply choose to believe.

I was once asked by a Muslim woman which was much older than me, that had proper education, a thought-provoking question.

She says that she believes in God and everything, but she wonders why is it that God allows for so much pain and suffering to occur in this world? 

We hear day in and day out of people getting killed, babies left in trash cans, suicide bombings, school shootings, horrifying terrible things, and I suppose she wondered for awhile, if there was a Merciful God, why would He allow such things to happen.

I do not know for sure why she asked me of all people, (out of the blue if memory serves) but I think it was because she was afraid of people treating her differently. Most of us simply dismiss tough questions such as this and follow blindly. 

But it is a most logical question, so I wonder if this 30-something year old university-educated woman thought of this, how many of us Muslims or believers of God for that matter, have similar doubts in our minds.

How many of us, if born in a slightly more liberal country, would renounce our religion and never look back.

My gut feeling tells me that by the time you're reading this sentence you're probably got frowning eyebrows, furiously reading and worrying that I've gone mad and lost faith.

Haha. No no I'm still perfectly sane. For the most part.

Despite not being a 100% Muslim country, the Malaysian Constitution is written up according to Islamic law. It actually prohibits people from going murtad. 

The Malaysian constitution dictates that if you are a Malay, then by law, you MUST be a Muslim. According to the law, there is no such thing as Christian Malay. This is why years ago there was so much noise about the Malay girl that converted to Christianity and wanted to put that in her IC.

If she were successful in her bid (which she wasn't FYI), any Malay in this country could convert and there would be absolutely nothing anyone can do about it. 

I partly feel that this is why the opposition are so gung-ho on promoting equal rights between races and brandishing the Sultans as wasters of public funds.

The special rights of the Malays and the sovereignty of the Sultans are in the Malaysian Constitution. If they can convince the rakyat that either one of these are stupid rules, then they can change the bit about the Prime Minister having to be a Malay, and worst, Malays not needing to be Muslims.

But I'm straying away from topic at hand.

When that woman asked me, me being a bit younger then, told her that I believe that what happens to others is not just a test to them, but a test to us as well. Take example the Palestinians being oppressed. It is a test to them, no doubt, but it is also a test of character for us, their Muslim brothers and sisters. What are we doing to help them? Are we at the very least sympathetic? Or could we not care less?

When you see someone being mugged on the street, do you help or do you ignore in fear of you being hurt / mugged as well?

Or perhaps a more subtle one, if you're late for work, do you run a red light and deny people that had green their right of way, or do you wait?

I recall a certain someone complaining that she was not tested, and she feared that it meant that she was not worthy of being tested, which ultimately meant she was not a good person.

We are constantly being tested, only thing is that the tests aren't meant to be obvious like the ones we take in the university. If it were we'd cheat or study just immediately before the test, and then pass when in fact had it been a surprise test, we'd fail miserably.

Are we not under 24-hour observation by the two angels at our sides? Not to mention, God, all-seeing and everything.

Also, I think if you're worried that you're not a good enough person, odds are you are good enough. Lol.

Upon hearing my explanation, the woman agreed with me. I do not know till this day whether she merely agreed because she regretted asking the question and did not want to cause any more concern or because she truly agreed and I managed to put her curiosity to rest for the time being. 

I hope it was the latter. Nowadays, I would have a different answer, but that is another discussion for another time.

It is not wrong to be curious, to question what we believe, in my opinion. Even the prophets of old asked God for proofs, not because they didn't believe, but because they wanted to strengthen their beliefs.

I truly feel that if we really understood science, we would come to the conclusion that it is absolutely illogical to believe that there is no God.

After all, the Big Bang is merely a theory. There is no conclusive evidence, merely signs that tell us it is probably true, and that so far we've not found signs to say that it is false.

Yet we take it as fact and assume it to be true.

Is it that far-fetched an idea to think that God does exist?