Friday, July 24, 2009

bright side of life


its the first week of the semester, and so far.... im sorta liking the schedule that i  have. its a 20-credit hour semester, and still i have so much free time. haha. although im somewhat jealous that some friends are even more free-er than i am. they get extra 2 days off. zzzz.

but having too much free time can be boring, especially for me if i can't play any games. zzz. i can't do anything else, so as you can see, i'm blogging more often. lol. gosh, starting to miss sunway piramid. hahah.

it is 12:50 p.m. i just woke up a few minutes ago. after finding that my roommate has gone missing, (probably went for mandarin class), i have lost the will to do anything beneficial at all and decided to wait until my stomach gets hungry before going down to eat. haha. what a loser.

i guess what the first week has taught me is that even with so much free time, it is worthless if you don't know how to use it properly. zzz. there's only so much time you can sleep for one day before the sleep becomes eternal. erk. haha.

i have this one friend. honestly i think he's miserable in his university. he always complains in his blogs that "oh what a pain going back to U is" and "oh how i will miss my home" and etc. at first its quite amusing to read this stuff, but after countless more posts, its just starts to get a wee bit boring borderline pathetic, really. haha. no offense.

ive never really told anyone here in utp, (especially that friend of mine), but i actually WANTED to come here before i was even accepted. see, when i was in form 5, i followed a field trip to UTP. and so they, the tourguides, were promoting this and that, perhaps sometimes blowing things out of proportions, and me, being the gullible idiot that i was back then (and now also probably, haha) bought the whole thing.

on second thought, i think it wasn't the tourguide that influenced me that much to come here. i think it was the scenery. the infrastructure. after all, UTP did win the Aga Khan award for infrastructure. anyways, this was the first university that i ever visited anywhere, and i thought, "wow, this is one hell of a university". yeah, i actually judged how good a university was by its looks. how shallow am i. zzz.

and so, with the thought of the nice green environment and modern design of the buildings, i said to myself, "im coming back here again someday". its funny how with age your thinking changes, because i was completely mesmerized by the beauty of the university at the time, i didnt even think about how is its standard of education, is the position of the university strategic, and all that. but then again, teens are like that. they seldom think that much. haha. (sedih im no longer a teen. lol)

after my spm, i tried entering the university, but unfortunately my results were not that satisfactory according to my mother's standards (coz my father didn't really say that much) and obviously, the university's standards. and so, i had to settle with going for matriculation. i made it my target to apply for a matriculation center that is NOT in perak, coz i wanted to travel. i didn't want to stay cooped up here. i wanted to see the world.

at first i wanted to put labuan as my first choice, but that was Damn far away, and my mother would never allow that. haha. so i settled with places that my parents would actually be able to visit me without that much difficulty. my choice for matriculation, in order was PasUM, penang and perak. guess im not that big of a jerk, i still consider what other ppl think. haha.

i do not know if my mother pulled some strings or what (coz sometimes she does), but i got into my first choice. PasUM. and honestly i enjoyed it immensely there. i had a close group of friends there, more closer than any friends i ever made previously, and we still keep in touch from time to time. plus, the shopping malls were THAT close, and i went out for enjoyment every week that i did not run out of money. haha.

then, after pasum, i was given two choices. study mechanical engineering in UM, or study chemical engineering in UTP. i would like to point out that i have not gotten a scholarship at this point, and it costs quite a bunch to study in UTP. furthermore, (ceh, mcm technical writing plak. haha), all my friends are in UM. well, most of them anyways. but.... UTP is offering me the course that I actually want. sigh.

so the 2 choices were, go to UTP and study something that you were planning on studying ALONE, or go to UM and study something that you did not plan on studying (but did not mind to study anyways) and hang out with your friends all the time. it was the toughest decision i had to make, ever. i was thinking of how it would suck to go to a new foreign place with no familiar faces whatsoever and at the same time how stupid it would be if i chose something just to follow my friends.

and so, after a few days of thinking, i decided. i decided that i was going to go with something that i had planned earlier in life and brave it out on my own, no matter what happens. i decided i was going to be a UTP student. hoho. how brave~

and so here i am. i do not deny that i miss hanging out with my friends (especially when they hung out in KL but i couldn't join coz i was stuck in UTP. zzzz), but at the same time, looking back, i would not change what i did. i miss pasum, i miss my internship life, i miss my house, i miss my friends, i miss my family. but in life you have to screw all that and make do with what you DO have. so i'm trying to enjoy life as it is. and looks like im doing it. :)

except for when DC++ is down and i cant download the movies / series. zz wtf.

i doubt that my friend is reading this, but in the off-chance that he does, enjoy life as it is. suck it up already. life isn't pretty, ONLY if you see it that way. as the song says, always look on the bright side of life.

okay, getting hungry now.

till next time, take care


p/s : i must admit that i am a bit of a coward, coz i did not comment / say anything on his blog. lol. nvm. he probably won't be too happy seeing a 1000+ comment thats longer than his posts COMBINED anyways. haha.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

the dark side

the thing about doing your final internship report is that, after spending the whole day writing something, the last thing you'd look for to escape your days work is write a blog....

and that is the reason i did not blog in june. :)

anyways, still working on the final report, still a little bit lazy to write my blog, but ive been putting it off for too long, so here goes.




cant think of anything. sigh.

okay starting for real now.

life is pretty simple for me now. been going to work late, and coming home early, and not doing much work in between. lol. (no, this is not a smiley of one guy holding both his hands up, its L.O.L, as in laugh out loud. zzz)

with the coming of the juniors, (i have 2 under me btw), life has been pretty sweet. i passed all my tasks to them, saying its all part of  the "hands-on training". hoho. smart eh. while they're toiling away with the hard labour, im chilling at the lab, away from my supervisors' eyes, and doing my final internship report, and some facebooking as well. hihi. okay, sometimes maybe more fb-ing than report-writing.

actually i did mean what i said about the "hands-on training". i really did mean for them to learn everything while im still there. (if you actually thought im bullying my juniors coz im super lazy, shame on you!). coz honestly my senior did a pretty bad job of passing the torch on. and i dont wanna be a pain like her now do I?

anyhow, since my tasks are now divided amongst two people, its not that bad for them. they still have time to chill. which is good, i think. too much stress is never good.

i'd like to think i have a very high tolerance to stress. or as my kelantanese roommate once put it, "a very high ignorance level". or as I'd like to put it, I'm just uber cool. haha.

but to be frank, I'm not that cool actually. I always get stressed out. sometimes for the smallest of reasons. it's just that i don't show it. i have a very emotionless face sometimes. a friend i once went out with said i'd make a very bad haggler (i.e : penawar harga barang jadi rendah). coz even if the price was real pricey, i'd not show the slightest hint of shock or any relevant emotion whatsoever (coz i can't think of another emotion one would portray at the moment. see how emotionless i am sometimes?! lol)

i try to keep my cool. it would probably be uncool to show how shocked you are at the price of a GFX card for example (find the word that shows im a computer addict). however, that uncoolness would probably get you a better price. which is probably why sometimes girls make better hagglers. (yes, in general guys ar cooler than girls. haha) which is also why i always bring my mother along when i plan on buying something expensive. haha.

okay, ive lost track of what i was saying and do not know how to proceed.

oh, did i mention my internship ends next week?

(refer back here later)


(woot! is kinda like yeay!, only more nerdy)

ah, sidetracking a bit. please dont be too offended if i type or text you "wtf". its not as offensive as you might think. it depends on the usage really. usually, if a wtf is preceded or followed by a lol, as in "lol wtf" or "wtf lol", its not meant to be hurtful. really depends on the occasion you're using it and who you're using it with. an appropriate example would be saying to your close friend "bodoh la ko..". its not offensive as compared to saying it to someone you JUST met. get it? :)

(if you still dont get it then stfu and dont use wtf k. haha. lol.)

the reason for the long explanation is that i said lol wtf to someone the other day, and she got upset. guess she's not that big of a cyber geek as me. lol wtf. haha.

ah. since im elaborating so much on the use of internet shortforms, maybe i should explain a few here....

wait, that would be boring...

wait again, it already IS boring...


moving on, lol.


(i seem to be stuck. crap.)

sigh, if only i could type up my report as fast as this. haha. as of right now, my report is around 7000 words long. if im not mistaken it was 6000 words yesterday. not bad eh. i jokingly said to a friend the other day, in malay, "this is  6 months work cramped into a few weeks!". "how so?", the friend asks. "coz my blog is roughly 1000 words per entry and i only write once a month, and that's if im feeling hardworking... (rasa rajin. lol)."


i am never good at goodbyes or anything that's remotely sad. despite my cool exterior (lol), i am quite soft on the inside (except for the bones). i tend to suddenly reminisce on all the good times ive spent with that person and suddenly feel the need to justify all the un-nice things he / she has done to me, and suddenly feel sad that he / she is leaving.

and it is a feeling that sucks. zzzz.

(no, the "zzzz" does not mean ive fallen asleep.)

(although it COULD mean someone reading this has. lol.)

okay, getting back to what i was saying (please refer back). my internship finishes next week. it is a mixture of feelings. im feeling glad, and also slightly sad. regardless of how much i disliked the tons of work, the un-appreciation of work or effort, the being-looked-down-upon feeling, there were some good times. to say that i totally hated the experience would be a lie. all in all, it was a very good learning experience, no matter how hard it may be at times, i enjoyed and will cherish every moment of the 32 weeks journey.

for a 20 year old boy (yes i still think im a boy, thank you), 8 months is quite a long time. and now its coming to an end. im awfully happy that its finally coming to an end. haha. (told ya it was a mixture of feelings).



yea, im running out of things to say.

last week, one of the trainees at J&J finished her internship period (not the other period ok. lol). i am unsure how it happened, but me and her ended up exchanging farewell gifts with each other. lol. she gave me this glass tablet with a poem titled "friendship" engraved on it. which i must say is extremely thoughtful.

i, being the extremely-good-at-picking-gifts guy that i am, bought her a mug.

yes, a mug.

and painted on that mug is.....

(adding a pause to create excitement and anticipation)

"Good Morning. Let the stress begin!"

how thoughtful.

wtf. wtf. wtf. wtf.

i was cursing myself the entire trip back home after work. in defense of myself and my extremely inappropriate gift, i was looking for something to give to her that upon looking on it, would definitely remind her of the fun and crazy me.

not the heartless, sorry-excuse-for-a friend me.

besides cursing myself and being the laughing stock of the friend that drove me home, i was frantically thinking of how to salvage this situation (or friendship, perhaps). i mean, one gift can change everything! and so, after my friend's laughter has died out (although i swear i can still hear him laughing after dropping me off), i followed my most feminine instincts (lol) and texted from the heart.

with fingers crossed, i texted (although how one would text / sms with his fingers crossed is beyond me)

"Hello. Saya sudah buka u punya hadiah. So touching :) Probably shud hav given u something similar, but then it wud not be sumthing that reminds u of me especially. :) Take care!"

Fingers still crossed, i waited for the reply.

First 30 seconds passed, no reply.

5 minutes, still no reply.

10 minutes, nothing.






(I fell asleep)

lol. i just came back from work, of course im tired!

and then it came. it woke me up from the nap i accidentally took with my fingers still crossed (which is probably not good for the fingers, but who cares really). half awake, i read the reply.

"Haha, ur cup realy wil make me remember u always, if have destiny, hope we can meet again, take care also, yaxin from johnsin & johnsin :-D"


that was a close one.

in my semi-conscious state, i almost replied " bukan cup la, mug.", but thank God my brain was functioning more properly than when i bought the mug.

note to self : when buying a gift for a girl next time, ignore all sense of sarcasm and buy something lovey dovey.

there is a very fine line between being nice and being mean. good and evil. funny sarcasm and not-funny-at-all-borderline-cruel sarcasm. pray you don't accidentally slip to the dark side.

till next time, cheers!

take care.

ciao. :)

p/s : in case your wondering, johnsin & johnsin is not a typo error, just a friend joke that me and the ppl at J&J understand. although yaxin might be a typo. or she doesn't know how to spell my name. lol. at least we're still talking :P