Saturday, November 22, 2008

Death, as I see it..


usually i dont post more than once a month, but something happened quite recently that kinda stirred my thoughts and emotions, i guess. (chewah)

there was a death, no, make that two deaths in UTP, on thursday and friday. this one guy died of, of all things, a heart attack. imagine that. while playing football. one assumes that when someone plays football, he probably has been playing for awhile, therefore should be fit enough to play the game, and probably know when to stop playing, so to get a heart attack while playing,.. is bizzarre.

the 2nd guy, died in an accident involving himself and... (this may sound funny but try not to laugh coz its disrespectful..), a kerbau. also known as a buffalo. for those that do not know, kerbaus (pandai2 je letak 's' for plural of kerbau. haha.) always roam around the roads infront of utp at nite, and since they are dark in color and there arent any lights lighting up the roads, utp students often hear tales of people having accidents with these behemoths. and believe me, they are quite big and quite strong. there was one story that i heard, a group of ppl were in a kancil and they banged into a kerbau, and the kerbau actually stared back at them for a few seconds before actually moving away. its as if the kancil banging into the blasted kerbau was like a mosquito bite or sumthing. (who'd ever thought i'd use so many animals in one sentence. haha.)

of course, the thought of students, almost the same age as me, dying, is somewhat scary. but who cares rite? ppl die all the time. even babies die. sure its a bit scary, but i dont even know these ppl, so no big deal....

or so i thought.

after finishing our exams, (yeay!), me and the guys went to ipoh to blow some steam.. it was the usual, bowling, movies, some of them went to mcd after that, but i was already lacking sleep, so i passed. quantum of solace is nice, btw, not as nice as casino royale, but still nice. action wise, top notch, but the story was moving a bit too fast for me to fully digest whats going on. but all in all, a nice movie. as for the bowling, i sucked big time. cant really say it was the lane, coz there were other ppl that had better scores even though the lane wasnt in tip top condition,  i guess it was just me. i scored 99 and 98. cant remember the last time i scored BELOW 100, so it kinda sucked for me.

anyways, while waiting for the midnight movie, some of the guys went for karaoke. see, the karaoke place is in the bowling alley area, and so we bumped into other utp friends there. fyi, it is almost impossible for you not to bump into a utp student at jusco during the weekends. especially so after the exams... duh. haha. so anyways, i went there a bit late coz i had to, er, shake hands with the president. haha. and so when i got there, my friend came up to me and told me something that is quite,.. disturbing...

if you guys recall, i became a facilitator for the orientation week this sem. so as a facilitator, i had one group of students to handle. my friend, the one that came up to me also was a faci and also had a group. it turns out that, the guy that had the heart attack, was in his group. and i know that guy..

well, not to say i know him very well, i just know him, as in i know who my friend was talking about when he mentioned it to me.

i guess it has a big impact on me.  as far as i know, none of my friends have died. sure, there have deaths in my family before, but no one that was actually younger than me. yes, he was actually younger than me. born in 1990 if my calculations are correct.

to see this guy alive and well at one time, and to suddenly hear that he's dead, is... i dont know what the word is for this one. guess this goes to show death knows no boundaries.

it really opened my eyes. life is short, shorter than i may think, apparently. i need to live life more. no more wasting time, staying alone at home, doing nothing but sleep and  play computer games all the time. (i barely play any computer games nowadays, but still... ). its time for change. and what better time to make a change in my life than during my internship. i'll be working, which means i will have some extra cash. plus, ill be in the vicinity of kuala lumpur, which means i can try out stuff ive always wanted to try while i was in pasum but never got the chance (i.e: ice skating! :D). hehe.

plus, i should have more money to go travelling. hehe. i do like travelling to new places, just that id rather not go alone, id prefer it if some friends, or family perhaps, could come with me. but thats the problem really, not everyone likes travelling. and not that many people can afford it. even worse, not many people think that its a good way to spend your money... haihs... i guess they've never heard of the proverb "jauh perjalanan, luas permandangan". (dunno what the english version is, but ill find out later).

i feel like writing more, but i dont really have anything else to say, so i guess i'll stop here. oh yeah, in case anyone's wondering, i'll be doing my internship at johnson and  johnson, petaling jaya. hehe. ill be an intern for 8 months, starting this december, so plenty of time to do stuff during that time. hehe. oh yeah, im not sure, but i dont think there'll be any internet connection where i'm staying, so probably wont be blogging so often. (macam la "often" sgt skrg ni. haha.)

erm, another important thing to mention, my parents are going for haji this wednesday (26th november 2008), so i'd appreciate it if you guys could pray for my parents safety and well-being. thanks a lot.

last but not least, i was actually planning something different for this post, but since i didnt even plan on writing this post, the "something different" will have to wait till the next time i blog. hehe.

oh yeah! totally forgot about the majlis doa selamat and tahlil (refer to previous posting). all in all, it was a successfull ceremony. thank you very2 much to everyone that came. it meant a lot to me. semoga Allah memberkati tuan2 dan puan2 sekalian. i'd blog about it, but there really isn't that much to blog about, hehe. but a friend of mine did blog about it, you can read it here. (ive never actually tried linking another page, so forgive me if the link doesnt work. huhu.)

and, the final 'last but not least', hehe, i'd like to wish everyone that have NOT finished their exams, good luck, do your best, to those that HAVE and are in their sweet holidays, happy holidays, stay safe, and to those that are 'unlucky' in the sense that their holidays have been cut short due to the internship programme, good luck with you internship, take care, especially the people that are going overseas, and i'll see you guys in 8 months!

take care everyone.


Wednesday, November 5, 2008


apparently, friendster has this new thingy where i can save what i wrote yesterday.... eh wait.

hello ppl. tlupa plak.

k. lets move on. as i was saying, friendster blog has this new thingy (or maybe its an old thingy, coz i never really explore the possibilities with this thing) where i can save what i wrote and come back and finish it off some other time. which is sweeeet, since i always have stuff to say at times, but when i actually do open up my blog to write something, the idea is already boring to me, (although it might be interesting to you guys), so i end up not writing anything... huhu.

so the reason im telling you guys this is that im testing this new(?) feature out. ill write something today (29th October 2008), and maybe when i get the time, i'll write something else, whenever that may be..

actually the reason that got me writing again, a bit early according to my schedule if i might add, is because some of my friends have started writing their blogs, and i dunno, seeing them write, makes me want to write something, which is childish, i know, but what the heck. haha.

is there anything interesting at all to write about today? hmm. not really. all boring stuff, as usual. o yea, a sad fact, i still havent gotten a placement for my internship, but for some reason i myself am not aware of, i am surprisingly extremely optimistic on the matter, even though there is no reason for me to be this way. most of the people in my course, most of my friends, have gotten a placement, some even have more than one, but i am somehow unaffected by all this. sure it kinda sucks when they start talking bout where they're going to stay, what they're going to do, who's going with them, bla3, and i dont really have anything to say to join in the conversation, but i dont really mind. in fact, im actually feeling happy for them. which is something i usually am not inclined to do. haha.

okay. enuf for today. lets wait for next time aite.


its november 4th, 3 32 am. i finally found the time to write something..

you can never really see where your life is headed. sure, you may plan, predict, but you can never truly know where its going for sure, until you're there.

b4, i talked about how i havent gotten any internship placement yet. the next day, i got 2 offers. unexpected. well, i was expecting to get offered somewhere, just not 2 offers, in the same day... and just yesterday, i got another one. so that makes 3. weird huh. out of nowhere these offers pop up. ah well, that is life.

ive run out of things to write about. interesting things, anyway. probably coz my brains in a jam from all the studying and the coffee i just drank.

owh. remembered something. how fun it is, to know that you're in your study week, and some of your friends in other universities, have finished their exams. they are out of their misery, yours is only beginning. -_-"

my family is having a doa selamat and tahlil next week. odds are the ppl that read this blog are invited. if youre not, tell me. a person that reads my blog, should be invited, even though i may not know you very well. its kind of a big thing for me, this ceremony. for the most obvious reason, its a gathering to wish my parents well on their haji trip. 2ndly, bcoz, most of my friends in UTP havent been to my house, so for me to have a solid reason to invite them to come to my house is a good thing.

i really cant think of anything else worth writing now. guess ill stop here and continue some other time.


november 6th, 3.27 am.

this shall probably be the last time i write in this particular post. afraid this post may be wee bit too long if i continue.

honestly, there really is nothing to write about today. apart from celebrating afiq's bday. which was nice i guess.

moving on, im nearing the 2nd half of my study week and i have barely done any studying at all. which is very bad... curse all these projects that need to be finished... why have these useless projects anyways? have i learned anything from them? okay, honestly, yes. one. i learned that if you wait long enough, you can copy somebody else's work. haha.what a waste of time...

and it spoils the study mood. you're supposed to be concentrating on your studies fully during the study week, but since you're swamped with work and other stuff, the concentration's gone. proof? some of the guys went out for bowling just now. and tomorrow, some are going for quantum of solace. (if you dont know what this is, you definitely arent a movie buff). by the way, although i never really was a fan of the bond series, but i definitely liked casino royale.. it was really nice! i am definitely looking forward to quantum of solace.

at this point, for my internship, i shall probably be going to johnson and johnson. yeah, the shampoo company. ive heard only good things bout the place, and the pays not bad. but some seniors have said that the workhours sometimes can be quite long. instead of going off at 5 30 pm for example, try 5 30 am. i kid u not. wow huh? but of course you'll get the next day off.. very interesting eh?


I fell asleep.

november 6th, 1.13 pm.

due to falling asleep, i have forgotten what i was going to write down. but i did get some ideas after reading other ppls blogs. call it a realization if you will (and if there is such a word as realization)

there are so many blogs out there. really. so many. why? ive written some time ago about why ppl stop writing blogs, but never really why ppl start writing blogs..

do we crave the attention? do we need the interaction with other ppl so desperately that we post blogs for ppl to read and comment and go to sometimes extreme lengths to promote our blog? lets ponder about it for a moment. what do we really get when ppl read our blogs? when ppl post a comment?

sure, some of the super popular bloggers can really change the world with their blog (the chancellor of my university for example, che det), and some blogs that are popular enuf, they can have advertising to increase the balance in their pockets...

no. im not talking about these ppl. im talking about us. nobodies. (compared to che det, im definitely a nobody, and so are you, i think, unless ur che det and u've come to read my blog, then that makes me a somebody, coz che det is reading my blog... haha.) why do we write? we dont really have anything to benefit from it. yet we are excited when we spot the new comments on our blog. do we really care THAT much on what ppl think about us? are we really that lame? haha

uish. i should not have brought this up here. this topic on its own could cover one entire posting, and ive already written some stuff... i dont want my blog to be too long, now do i?

here's what i think, if it matters anyway. humans crave attention. we crave it on every level. we sometimes wear clothes that are attractive so that ppl will stare. we sumtimes talk to almost any stranger for no apparent reason than to fill the time or avoid an awkward moment. we bring our handphones everywhere, chat with absolute strangers in chatrooms, join social websites, forums, and last but most definitely not the least, hop from one blog to another and write our own blogs.

it is a way to be heard. blogs. when che det's thoughts couldnt get into mainstream media, he started blogging. and im guessing its the same for us. for every blogger.

blasted ppl keep popping into my room... nk tulis blog dgn aman pun susah..

i shall make it short then. ppl like attention. ppl want to be heard. blog is a way to be heard. some are so desperate for their voices to be heard, they promote their blog to extreme lengths (my opinion anyways, not necessarily true). because in the end, no matter how much we say we dont care, we really do care, if only a little, about what ppl think about us, and whether ppl give a damn about us or not.

so thats why i get happy or excited when i see new comments. there is someone out there that actually cares enuf to actually say something to what i have to say. haha. pathetic eh? i know. in the end, we are all pathetic ppl. haha. nobody can live alone.

and this concludes my experiment on this new style of blogging. i have to say, its been somewhat fun, no pressure to write so much in so little time. but somewhat tiring as well, as i need to face this blog thing for so many days, when i usually face it only once a month. how u guys manage to post so many in so short a time perplexes my timid mind. haha.

damn it, more ppl popping in! perlu ke masuk sini.. -_-" shuh2. stop lah cmni.

tk cr.