it seems i missed a month.. didnt write anything in january.. oops. sorry. huhu. writer's bloc, i guess. well, here i am, infront of my laptop, writing my next entry. here goes..
why do i even bother writing blogs...? huhu. sometimes i feel like im forcing myself to write something, even though i dont feel like it.. haha. looking back on my first post, it seemed as if at the time, i couldn't wait to write a blog, but now, i cant wait to finish writing.. haha. only the very dedicated bloggers continually update their blogs (me being semi-dedicated.. huhu), but unfortunately, for some blogs, despite kicking off to a bloody good start , suddenly goes silent for no apparent reason. its as if the writers have run out of batteries or something.. haha. i think my batteries are running out also.. must.... recharge... can someone help me find the charger? haha.
my theory for losing one's interest to write blogs is that most people suddenly realise, their lives are not as interesting as they thought.. yeah, i kinda realised that from writing my blogs.. haha. at first, i was thinking, 'what a great blogger i can be.. ive got so many interesting things to tell the world!!'.. now, its more towards ' my life is boring.. so boring, i cant even fathom why i even started this dumb blog...' haha. sad, but true. it seems almost everytime i find something interesting to write in my blog, my mind quickly finds a distraction for me..
a common scenario in my brain....
'now THERE'S something interesting to write about... where's that laptop of mine...
'wait, i havent eaten yet, better go eat first, with a full stomach, the ideas will come pouring in...'
'hmm, that was nice, now off to the laptop u go...'
'hey, lets check out whats on tv! there's gotta be something good on!'
you get my point rite..
i used to write in a diary. used to. same thing is happening with my blog. in the beginning i would pour out all sorts of stuff to write, up to the point there wasnt enuf room in the damn diary, now, its collecting dust in a drawer i keep locked. hehe. safety first. dont want private stuff falling into the wrong hands.
here's something interesting. (at LAST! haha) if you were to have a diary, you would do your very best to keep it secret, not let anyone else read it, (with the exception of your closest of friends or your other half, maybe..), but its the total opposite for blogs. you WANT ppl to read your blog. you're actually advertising your thoughts on the internet. (and some ppl actually make loads of cash doing this... not me though. haha) so the thing here is, has the internet changed our way of thinking? i mean, there are things you can share with ppl, but some things you should keep to yourself! yet these select bloggers, they put it in the most insecure place there is, the internet! where a person living a 1000 miles away, could easily access it! more points to ponder upon. sometimes ppl can be so secretive, (an easy example for me would be my close friends not telling me their results... wink2 guys.), yet some times, they dont seem to have the slightest bit of care if their innermost thoughts and feelings are being read by an absolute stranger...
in fact, some ppl actually get upset if their blogs arent being read. logical, i guess, since the reason you put it online is because you want people to read it. but for me, its not really the main reason, although seeing comments DOES boost up my drive to write more blogs.(again, wink2 guys.. hehe). its more towards me wanting to write things that are bottled up inside. writing in a blog gives me chance to review my thoughts, sometimes it can get crowded inside my brain. anyways, there are some ppl that write for the sole purpose of seeing people read their writing, and they get upset or discouraged when people dont exactly queue up to read their blog. and this is another reason why ppl stop writing blogs. ive got a friend that stopped writing precisely because of this. im not saying any names, but if you're reading this, you know who you are.. huhu.
but i guess they have a right to be discouraged. lets face it, if nobody read harry potter and the philosopher's stone, would j.k rowling write 6 more books about harry..? nope. i guess when people write, they seek recognition from other people. which is probably why im losing interest in writing a blog. i write not to seek recognition from others, i write to seek the truth behind my thoughts. i cant remember a single entry that i have written, that didnt give me new insights on my thoughts and feelings. with every word that i write, i uncover more truths in my already congested mind. the haze clouding my judgement, my true feelings, are being swept away by every keystroke, and suddenly everything seems so clear.. wow. i should be a novelist.. haha. dream on buddy... haha.
hmmm. so why the sudden lost of interest? ive been blabbing about it all this time, yet i cant pinpoint the reason... let me see.. i cant figure it out. the reasons that i gave just now definitely are reasons why someone ELSE would stop writing, but not me....
i guess, there are some things in life you cant really explain... it just happens. example, why is it when you're a kid, you desperately want to be older, but when you're all grown up, you wish you could be a little child..? why is it when you're feeling cold, you want it to be warm, but when its warm, you want it to be cool? why is it that one day, you're head over heels in love with someone, the next day, the feeling's suddenly dissappeared? some things just happen. another appropriate example would be : why is it that almost a year ago, I cant wait to start writing a blog, yet now i cant even think of an appropriate title for this post? haha. some things just happen, i guess. yeah. thats the best answer, for me at least...
hah! another mystery solved. maybe i should do this more often. think of another one of life's questions, and discuss it with me, myself, and i in the blog. haha. i think a forum would be more appropriate for this. but who cares. haha. in harry potter, the headmaster has a machine or gizmo called the pensieve, where he can store his memories in it, and he (or anyone else, for that matter) can review his thoughts by actually reliving the memory or thought once more... well, obviously, my blog cant do that, but its about as close as it gets, i guess.. hehe.
oh yeah, finally thought of a nice title for this entry. hehe. took me awhile to figure it out. and dont worry, not planning to stop writing anytime soon.. hehe.
"Its a Pensieve.. Very useful,if like me, you find your mind a wee bit stretched.."
If you still cant tell that im a harry potter fan, you're completely mental.. haha.
Take care, ppl.