Thursday, May 5, 2011

Monologue.

I am stressing myself out too much. I feel like the world is unfair.

I try to focus on the positives and remind myself how lucky i am, but lets face it, I am never content with what I have.

It is part of being human, I'm told.

Its true, you meet all sorts of people at work.

Very nice people, very rude people, hypocrites, timid, honest, all the adjectives you can think off.

Me? I'm the quiet, shy one. I try to avoid coming off as arrogant by smiling a lot.

So far its working 70% i think.

There are people that know my name, when I do not know theirs. Which is a weakness on my part.

I try to be less inhibited by my fears. I feel myself improving by day.

I moan and grumble a lot now. Some people care, but not the ones that should.

Never judge a book by its cover. And never judge people by the way they look.

Apparently, some feel that its professional to yell at someone and expect that person not to take heart.

I just think when you need to yell, you're just not communicating properly.

I tell myself often that I should be grateful, but it always tells me otherwise.

If I am not grateful, at least I am trying to be.

Often when I really think about it, I don't really know what I want.

I thought at first it was money, but when I'm tired I just want some rest.

So I never really ask God for anything specific. I just ask Him to take care of me.

I sometimes wonder if He really is looking after me, and if so, why is he putting me through self-doubt and hardships?

Then He reminds me of Muhammad, and how he was born an orphan.

I really should learn to complain less. But that is just who I am. But I'm learning. Slowly.

I know not if this is the true path He intends for me to follow, but I do know it is leading there.

For now, I'll just have to take it one step at a time.

Peace and love.