The Key to Happiness.

Happy New Year!

Well, Happy Chinese New Year to be exact.

I was supposed to blog at least once a month, but I forgot last month. My bad.

Also I didn't really have anything to write about.

Honestly I think I write better than I speak English. My verbal English is bad, I think.

Probably from lack of usage. Must try to speak more.

Maybe speak to myself more. Like I do in this blog. Ahaha ha.

7 lines in, and I've already run out of things to say. Hmm.

Safe to say that I won't be a professional blogger in the near future....

But then again, all these professional bloggers do is post pictures of themselves (because most of them are very pretty), with very minimal writing done, and voila!

Tells you what the real world is like.

I saw this video very recently. It's a talk by Cameron Russell, an underwear model, and she talks about what her life as a model is like. It's a 10-minute video, you can watch it if you want.

If you don't, basically she's saying, looks aren't everything, don't judge a book by its cover. And pretty people are also very insecure of their looks.


I've been watching loads of these videos lately. They've been an eye-opener of sorts.

No, not because I've been watching videos of underwear models, (just this one, I swear), because some of these videos make you think on what you think you already know.

There was another video which struck me as very interesting. AND there was no underwear model involved.

It was a video by a psychologist that talks about happiness. Why are we happy? Why are we unhappy?

It's a slightly longer video, 22 minutes long to be exact, but its worth the watch. I'll post it at the end of the post.

The gist of the video is that happiness is not determined by what you get / have, it is determined by the way you look at it.

I'm 25 years old this year, and I think I'm entering the soul-searching phase of my life, so all these questions come to mind.

Why am I here? What am I supposed to do? Why am I unhappy? Why am I happy? Should I be content?

There was one point in time where I was upset with myself for not being happy. I kept asking myself, "You have everything, so why are you not happy?"

It took me awhile, and a whole lot of thinking and doing, basically changing the course of my life, but I think I've found the answer.

The key to happiness is to be happy with what you have.

This is the key.

If you can do this, you shall be happy for the rest of your life.

This is of course not to say that you will never be sad. Of course there are things in life that may upset you, but as French Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard once said of anger, "It will cross the mind like a bird crossing the sky without any tracks".

This also does not mean that you should be passive and not strive for anything more than what you already have. You should, and by all means you must, because for every second you live, you are that much closer to death.

This is to say that if you try but you don't succeed, it sucks, but don't beat yourself up about it. No point in being sad about something you can't control.

Of course, its easier said than done. But I believe it works.

Sometimes, in our pursuit of happiness, we do things that we might regret later on. We so desperately need to feel happy, we do things like take that higher paying but stressful job, or buy that house we can barely afford, or date that ridiculously beautiful but awfully shallow girl.

I have a friend that appears to not know what he really wants. His first job was a high-paying one, but it was in another country, so he felt alone and lonely.

So he decides to leave the job, get a job in Malaysia with a lower pay, but at least he's near to his friends and loved ones. Finally gets married, but now says he cannot work a desk job, he has to do something more hands-on.

So what does he do? He decided to get another job, similar to his first job, and in that same country.

I don't know about you, but looks to me like he's back to square one. Make that square negative 1, because before it was just bachelor him missing friends and family, now its married him, far away from the wife.

When he asked our group of friends, myself included, whether he should go for that job he was offered, me being myself, I told him that he instead should focus on his family. Bad enough that they were living in different states at the time, now he plans to move out of the country and go offshore for weeks.

But he says to me that he HAS to try, he cannot live not knowing what it would've been like, what it could've been like.

So I told him to go for it.

As a friend, we wish, we hope that we could dissuade our friends from doing things that are bad for them, but if they are adamant, the only thing we can do is support them and hope for the best.

The key to happiness is to be happy with what you have.

This is actually considered mengumpat, but I suppose its for good.

If you wish to stumble upon happiness, I think you should at least know what you want, else you'll end up with a lot that you don't.

Enough for now.

Peace.

End of Days

So the world did not end this year. Big shocker there.

I don't think many people believed that end-of-the-world, despite all its hype.

It is an interesting topic nevertheless, what would you have done if it was the end of the world?

Would you have lived your life differently?

Would you run to nearest mosque and repent for all your past transgressions?

Would you book the first flight of to Egypt and die in front of the Pyramids?

Or would you perhaps confess your undying love to that special someone on your very last day of existence?

Most interesting indeed.

I thought for awhile on what I would've done had I actually believed it was doomsday.

I don't think I would've done anything differently.

If it was predicted that the world would end at the stroke of midnight, during the day I would probably go to work as usual (assuming people actually went to the office), or go about my normal everyday activities.

Sleep. Play games. Watch movies. Observe as the world reacts.

Usual things.

I do not know this for sure, but I would assume some people would think either I have lost all will to live and have decided to wait for the inevitable end, or that I am unbelievably lazy and cannot be bothered to salvage what precious moments still left to spare.

Almost, but not quite.

I thought of it for a second or two, and I decided, what is there to do?

Did I wish to see the world and marvel at the fascinating sights and cultures?

Did I wish to see myself have a family and grow old with my wife while our own children build their life?

Did I hope to build a successful career doing something that I love (whatever that may be) and buy my parents whatever worldly indulgence that they desired?

Did I wish to be a better person than I already was, perhaps the best person I could be, and leave my mark in this world?

Of course I did.

But what could I possibly have accomplished in that short period of time?

I believe that whatever has happened, has happened for a reason, and whatever did not, was not supposed to.

If the world did end that day, it was not fated to be.

I am not one to go against my fate.

Its funny, how I never cease to complain about my life especially here in this blog, yet I believe in not going against my fate.

Its not to say that I am that person that sits on his ass and waits for things to happen.

Its just that I believe, that whatever I did, whatever I am doing, and whatever I will do in the future, has all been written.

I just don't know what exactly was written.

I'm still trying to figure it out. But aren't we all.

Which reminds me, there is probably one thing I would do differently on my last day.

I probably would contact everyone I have ever known and said I'm sorry for everything.

I can never really tell whether I'm being offensive, because often times I feel like I'm being refreshingly honest, when in fact, nobody wants someone that's REALLY honest.

We just like it when people are honest about things that we like, like how pretty or how smart we are.

We never want to hear things like "Oh you're pregnant, you should probably get maternity clothes rather than pretending those old clothes still fit, coz honey, you're not exactly fooling anyone".

Is what I said in my head of course.... I'm not that evil.

Although I did say something which hinted that.

I should probably apologise to her should the world really end.

One thing I noticed recently, we Malaysians never can disagree on one thing without taking things personal.

When someone says something, its like you're obligated to agree, or else you'll offend the person.

There really is no such thing as agree to disagree here.

At the end of an argument, we nod our heads in agreement, just to avoid confrontation.

We then talk about it behind that person's back. Very typical behaviour.

Sometimes there doesn't even have to be any disagreement. We just like talking bad about other people behind their backs.

Backstabbing SOBs, we are.

Anyways, the reason why I noticed is that most of the people I talk to sometimes disagree to what I say, but when I state my point of views, they suddenly agree on a compromise.

Either I'm incredibly convincing or they just don't wanna argue with me.

Probably both. Haha.

Anyways, I digress. After apologising to everyone, at least people I think I've offended (which would take a few hours), I think I would've just sat down on my prayer mat, and just talked to God.

By this time, the billions of humans on Earth that actually believes in God would probably ask God for forgiveness, but I wonder out of those billions, how many are actually sincere in repenting, and not merely afraid of being punished because they are about to die.

This is not to say that I am pure from any sins, far from it, but if anything, I would like to think that I am sincere in my religious acts.

Truth be told, although my father was somewhat of a religious person, he never really forced me to embrace religion, he merely guided me, and it was largely up to me to decide, even when I was a boy.

As a boy, I would think that I am one of the few that prayed not because I was told to or caned if I didn't, but mostly because I wanted to.

And because there was no cane, I may have skipped a few prayers as well. LOL.

I guess what my father was trying to teach me was that there really is no compulsion in religion, when you do it, do it with all your heart, or why bother doing at all.

There is also the possibility that I may have grossly misunderstood what he was trying to say.

But seriously though, its kinda like when you're speeding above 110km/h on a highway, and you see that AES camera up ahead, so you slow down.

You don't really wanna slow down, but you do it because you're forced to, because you don't wanna pay for the summons.

Unlike that camera and the PDRM, you're not fooling God, He knows your true intentions.

That's the way I understand things anyway. I could be horribly wrong. I know some people think so.

I guess at the very last hour, my entire life would probably flash before my eyes, and I would suddenly be able to remember every good, and every bad thing that I've done.

To repent is to regret in doing, and there are things I hoped I did not do, but it is those things that I have done in the past that become a reminder for me today.

I hope that He forgives me for all that I have done. I hope I hope for this everyday, and not just my very last day.

I am after all merely a puppet in His grand scheme of things.

And after all that, I wait. For the world to end.

What an anti-climactic way to die. Haha.

I'm never really one to show off.

It just sometimes sounds like I'm showing off, when in fact I'm just telling the truth.

Because I'm awesome like that.

Okay that one was a bit show-offy.

Now that we know that the world did not end last week, cheers to the coming new year.

Another year to live.

I shall end this post with some wise words from my brain.

We live today simply to die another day.

However, do not be sad, death is not the end.

It is only the beginning.

Also, don't buy Mayan calendars.

Peace.

Meaning

It has been a good year.

I have done a lot of soul searching, and I think I've made some progress. It simply started out as my very general initiative of being a better person. As I walked around KL, as I drove back and forth from home to work, I would often find myself thinking about all my traits, both good and bad.

I would reflect on the things that I've done the day before, my interactions with the people around me, how people around me brought themselves about, and how I could benefit from all these observations. Most of the time I could see how I reacted wrongly, what I should have done instead, or if others did something that resulted in something undesirable, I would take note of that and try to avoid doing it myself.

But then it progressed. I wondered if anyone out there in this world actually did what I did. I wondered if anyone else out there took the time to retrace their steps in an attempt to be a better person. Why do I need to do this? I am doubtful that most of the people I know do this. So why? What is the purpose? What is the purpose of my life? Is it to be socially acceptable? Do I really need to conform to the standards of society?

What is the meaning of life? Or more specifically, my life?

Yes, I know by this point all the religious folks would say "to serve God". We are put on this Earth to pray to Him, bow down to Him, do as He commands, stay away from what He forbids. 

That is far too general. I want specifics.

I do not believe that I am put on this Earth merely to live out my insignificant life and then die and then hope I "pass the test", so to speak. In my heart of hearts, I do not believe that I am put on this Earth, just to wake up every morning, do my prayers, go to work, come back from work, eat, drink, rest, sleep and wake back up and repeat this cycle until I die.

I simply cannot believe it to be true.

I look at people and I see how some of them are so complacent, so docile, and yet I find myself at times so agitated, never being able to sit still in one place, and I know that I am not the same. Its as if my very soul is waiting for something to happen.

This is not to say that most people are wasting their lives, perhaps that is the path that God intended for them, and that is the best for them. It is most certainly a lot easier, to be able to come to terms with yourself.

I pass by random people by the street, strangers in shopping malls, and I would look at their faces, sometimes happy, sometimes appearing sad, sometimes expressionless, and I would wonder to myself, do these people wonder the way I do, are these people looking for something as I am looking for something or are they already perfectly content with their lives.

I am searching for the reason of my existence.

I am searching for something. Or perhaps someone.

As romantic as that may have sounded in your head, its not. Or if you prefer it that way, why not. I am merely suggesting that the key to finding the answer may be in a form of an event, or an object, or even a person.

At one point, I was so eager, so excited, that I forget, I am still young. My life is still laid in front of me. The answer does not have to come right this very instant. Some people go through their whole lives looking for the answer, and some don't even succeed, so I should take things as they come, and not in a rushed manner.

Sometimes, I see these passive people around me, and just being around them annoys me. LOL. I am not known for my pro-activeness, that much is certain, but when I'm in that "excited state", the presence of these people irritates me. The sound of their voice, the way they walk, dragging their heavy feet across the floor one step after the other, is like nails on chalkboard.

But if everyone was like me, we'd have so much more wars and the world would really end by December 2012 because we'd have blown the entire planet to bits and pieces.

I have my faults. I'm slowly learning to fix them, or at least minimize them as much as God would allow me.

Life has calmed down. I have learned to make peace with myself and my surroundings. What goes around comes around. Be nice to the people around you and you'll be surprised at how nice the people around you are.

Right now, you are the oldest that you have ever been, and at the same time the youngest that you will ever be again. Take the time to enjoy this moment, its the only chance you'll get.

Some wisdom from Twitter right there. :P

Peace.

Assert your intellectual superiority here.

There's no polite way of saying this, so I'm just gonna say it, even though it will make me sound more of a jerk than I already am.

Okay I'll try to sugarcoat it a bit.

People with less knowledge tend to rub it in when they know something someone else doesn't.


Why do I say this? Why even talk about this?

Because its annoying when they do it to me, and I have to be the nice guy and keep quiet.

(Although I may have done some things to annoy them as well.)


When I ask someone something, the all-too common reply would be "Seriously, you don't know?"

Here are some of the replies that run through my head:

"Pssh, no... I just asked so that you would ask me that condescending question which would ultimately make me feel stupider than I did when I asked the question."

"NO I DON'T KNOW. WHY THE HELL WOULD I ASK IF I DID."

"Yeah I don't know, coz well, only uncivilized people would"

"No."

In the end, I just bite my tongue and go with the last one. I am seriously trying to be a nice person.

Honestly, when someone asks me something, I just tell them.

I don't ask them stupid condescending questions because I do not expect everyone to know what I know, and neither can I know what everyone knows. No one person can know everything, you know?


And also, I don't want people to feel bad. I do enough of that already.

(even when they should feel bad for not knowing such a basic / general bit of information / knowledge!)

I seriously should get a medal for trying to be a nice person.

Anyways, I've deduced a reasoning for these responses.

The people that say these kinds of things, aren't very clever, they probably have self-esteem issues and will take any opportunity to show how clever they are.

Or they're just mean.

Before you go and call me an jerk, an A-hole, a sunnavabeech and all that, think back.

When you did your studies, or when you're at work, has a Professor / Teacher / Senior colleague / generally someone you consider to be smart or smarter than you, ever asked you that question?

"Excuse me Professor, what is the purpose of life?"

"Dude, like seriously you don't know?!"

Never, right?

Ignore the dude part. Think back. Think really REALLY hard.

If the answer is no, then that proves my point.

If the answer is yes, then ask yourself another question : Was that person an annoying jerk?

If the answer is yes again, then my point is proven again.

If the answer is no, then we agree to disagree.

Even though I'm right. But its cool, I don't mind.

Another reason why I wanted to talk about this, is because, smart people can be asses as well.


I, generally speaking can understand things faster than some people.

Generally speaking. I'm not saying I'm a genius or anything, its just that I feel that I pick up things at a faster rate.

I may or may not remember it afterwards, but at that time, I can understand it.

Call me a show-off, but its true.

To me, sometimes, a seemingly average question about something might sound like a silly question.

And an actually silly question, would immediately kick my sarcasticness to high gear.

It takes every ounce of self-control I have to not be mean at this point.

Example : I was telling people at work about this video I saw on Youtube. It was a video of a modern-day Samurai. He was so badass, that they shot a pellet straight at him, (a wee pellet, the size of a regular bead), and he could cut the pellet in half! I shit you not. Go look for him on Youtube.

So here comes this blurry colleague, asking silly things about the video.

"Diorang tembak dia dari jauh ke dekat?"

"Kenapa orang tembak dia?"

"Kenapa dia nak potong peluru tu?"

Patiently, seeing as how this was an old friend, and I was already aware of how blur she can be sometimes (well not sometimes but most of the time), carefully explained and answered each silly question as calm and as unsarcastically as can be.

But the last question she had was the kicker.

"Oh.... OK OK... so..."

"Siapa yang hebat nye? Orang yang tembak ke orang yang potong peluru tu?"

OMFG, I so wanted to jump off the 19th floor of the Menara HLA at that moment.

All the frustration and pent-up sarcasticness just burst out into an unnaturally loud laughter.

I just laughed out loud and left her before I could say anything.

"HOW IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND!"

See, this is what my brain tells me all the time.

And in order to not be alienated, I repress this thought.

It's mean, I know it is. But sometimes I cannot help it.

Sarcasm, in a way, is my brain's compromise. Not too mean, but not too nice either.

At least I take an effort in not being mean. Other people just laugh at silly questions. Or just go sarcastically mean.

There's a difference, being sarcastic and being sarcastically mean. Most people can't tell which from which.

But enough about my brain.

Long story short, as Albert Einstein aptly put it :

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

Every single human being on this planet is superior to someone else in at least one way. And by that basis everyone is also inferior to everyone else in at least one way.

So try not to patronize someone simply because you know something they don't, or you can do something they can't.

Be nice.

Peace.