Sleepless night.

I can't sleep.

Probably due to my bloated stomach.

I've got to wake up at 4 30 tomorrow. And at 2 am, I cant sleep.

Maybe that dream woke me up.

Yes, I had a dream. Someone was getting dumped.

No it was not me, that was doing the dumping, or the one being dumped.

It seemed like I was observing from afar. Maybe stalking from afar.

At least that's what my heart is telling me.

Funny, how I dream about other people.

Its really funny when you think about.

How humans really need other humans in order to survive.

Would someone die if he had no contact whatsoever with another human?

Probably not.

Would he go crazy by the time he died?

Probably.

Plus, the first human ever, before being sent down to Earth, lived in Heaven.

He had all that he could possibly want there, yet he felt as if something was amiss.

He felt.. alone. So God created him a partner, to keep him company.

I guess its programmed inside our brains.

We need a partner in life, one from the opposite gender.

After all, God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

This has almost nothing to do with what I dreamt earlier.

I'm just killing time.

I said recently that I feel like disappearing. I meant it.

Not disappear as in "missing persons" disappear, just keeping under the radar.

I don't know why. Sometimes I just feel like it.

Despite efforts, I can't seem to go back the way I was 10 years ago.

No social life whatsoever, always stuck in front of the computer.

And I was happy. I had no interest in going out whatsoever.

I went to the movies with my family, and thats about it.

Did not hang out with friends outside of school.

10 years ago, I was in Form 2. I was 12 throughout my Form 2.

Yes, its surprising, but I skipped standard 4 and I was born in December.

So yes, I was 12 years old when I was in Form 2.

I was 15 when I did my SPM. Only about a week later did I turn 16.

I finished my matriculation when I was 17.

I graduated and went for my convocation before my 22nd birthday.

Compared to most of my peers, I'm always the youngest.

Although its just a one year difference, some people never made me forget it.

Not in a positive way.

I'd be lying if I said it didn't affect me. Confidence-wise, I was pretty much screwed back then.

See, if you're a younger girl, apparently guys dig that, so you're good.

But if you're a younger boy, girls don't really dig that so much.

And this fact was made clear to me, especially so by the girl I was kinda sorta going out with when I was in matriculation.

FYI, was never my gf, but close. (disclaimer in case pesky cousins still read my blog. haha)

She kept pointing out the fact that I was younger. Said that my immaturity was due to this one year gap between us.

In my opinion I think it was her that was being immature.

But in the end I think she did fall for me. And I did fall for her.

But only in the beginning. I found out she wasn't what I wanted.

So after matriculation, we went our separate ways, to put it politely.

Anyways, this wasn't what I wanted to talk about.

Sometimes I felt as if life went by faster than it should.

Because of people like this, life went too fast, and all too slow at the same time.

But after awhile, I became more mature, and these things don't bother me as much.

'As much' being the key word(s) here.

In case any pesky cousins are reading, no I don't have a gf, I've had close friends, but no gfs.

Close calls, but no gfs. Haha.

(Mungkin boleh sebarkan berita ini kepada family Haji Arshad supaya tak ada la tiap2 kali family gathering asyik kena tanya soalan sama je.)

Okay i should be trying to go back to sleep again. I need to wake up in another hour.

And I will disappear from the online world for a bit. Just for fun. Just to see how long I can last.

So, till we meet again. Take care. All the best. Sleep tight. Sweet dreams.

Peace.