1 .less clumsy
2. less forgetful
3. less mean to people (sarcastically or not)
4. friendlier to people i don't / barely know
5. be more confident when dealing with people
6. figure out what i'm going to do with my life
7. possibly start taking violin lessons again.
i'm extremely clumsy and forgetful. and it really gets on my nerves sometimes. nobody's fault really, just mine. i sometimes forget the most simple of things, but sometimes remember the smallest of details. just the way my brain works i suppose. it CAN remember these things, but sometimes the mind just blocks out some stuff that it thinks isn't important. which would explain my high-ignorance level. (not stupidity, well, maybe some stupidity, but more to my ability to ignore stuff.) and also my absent-minded-ness. if i wanted to get a pair of scissors for example, i look into the pencilbox and find my calculator, i'll then remember to calculate my homework and forget all about the scissors. i'm easily distracted, easily bored, which does not make me a very good listener, unless its something that interests me, or something juicy... lol.
so, my birthday resolution number one and two is to be less clumsy, (i.e break / destroy less stuff unintentionally.) and be less forgetful.
next thing on the list is be less mean to people. haha. i've been working on this for quite a while now. i can be very mean to people sometimes. most of the time unintentionally. very rarely intentionally, but it does happen. sometimes i am very sarcastic. sometimes sarcastically mean. most of the time i don't realize that i'm being mean, but i'm trying to change that. it's not that i'm mean to EVERYONE... it's just that i realize now that i haven't been very nice to some people in the past and could have been nicer. therefore i would like to be nicer. maybe a good spanking will lead me in the right direction... (or the wrong one... LOL).
see, i have this problem of talking to new people. i don't want to. i don't like talking to strangers. there's a reason why it's called "strangers". they're strange. STRANGER than strange. but it's not necessarily a good thing. sure when you're a kid its good not to talk to strangers, but as you grow up, its expected of you to do so, to socialize with people, and if you don't, people are going to think you're the strange one. and so i changed. when the need for it arises, i talk with people i don't know. friendly as hell. but if there's no need for it, i mind my own business. i couldn't care less if you're a ridiculously hot 21 year-old supermodel that's been eyeing me for the past half hour or someone that looks awfully familiar, i will not talk to you unless you talk to me first.
plus i tend to treat people like they're NPCs.
According to Wikipedia
A non-player character, often shortened to NPC, is a character that is controlled by the gamemaster in role-playing games. When this definition extends to video games, an NPC in a video game is usually part of the program, and not controlled by a human.
In games such as WoW, people only interact with NPCs when they need something. Lets say your character needs some food, you go to the NPC that sells food, you buy the food, you leave. People don't normally interact with NPCs, socialize with the NPCs, unless they're ridiculously bored and have nothing to do, then they might. (although wouldn't count on a response, except for those specially programmed NPCs). it would not be so polite if lets say you bought food from someone, almost everyday but never have the time to chat or at least know their name. i tend to do that sometimes. its bad, i know, but its not because im rude or anything, its just that i wouldn't know what to say, or what to talk about. i'm not exactly creative..
Imagine.
Penjual roti canai : Eh bos, u pun potong rambut dekat sini ka?
Me : Aah...
Penjual roti canai : Sudah abis cuti ka sekarang? Lama jugak tara nampak u.
Me : Aah...
Penjual roti canai : .....
(awkward silence)
Me : (trying to break awkward silence) err... hari ni banyak canai roti ke?
Penjual roti canai : .....
lol.
next item on the list would be.... more confident when dealing with people. yeah, very similar to the item before, due to my lack of interest in interacting with people, i also do not like dealing with people i don't know. it just feels very weird to ask someone you barely know to do something for you, or to ask something from them. maybe getting to know the person would help in this department. hmm.
The next one is a tough one. figuring out what to do with my life. Further studies? Work? Something else? So many choices. Throwing a dice would be an easy way to choose. But living with the choice afterwards? Not so easy. haha. Time will tell.
last but not least, violin. i learnt the basics here in UTP. FOC. but the very basics. can barely play on my own. due to the lack of violinists however, was absorbed into UTP Orchestra. performed twice, once during the Symphony Fest, the other during Convocation ceremony. Sadly, not long after, violin section was removed from the orchestra due to... musical differences with the new conductor. I like playing the violin. I may have loathed going to the training sessions, but once I got kicked out, that's when I realized how much I miss practicing the violin with my friends, no matter how awful I sounded at the time. haha.
Although I have my own violin, and generally speaking I can play it on my own, its not as fun / easy as it would be if I were in a group of people. playing on your own, being as knowledgeable about violins as those Islamophobes are about Islam, I can't really improve, nor do I enjoy the 'music' that comes out from my violin. at least when you're in a group your mistakes are not so obvious. haha. would really2 like to start learning it back.
that is all for now.
peace!
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