the day

today would have been the day.

but its not anymore.

i'd like to think i made the right, the best choice.

my brother came back home for his holidays, so i'm not entirely bored.

i went jogging today, which is a miracle on its own.

however, an even bigger miracle is that i did not die jogging.

i really do have low / bad stamina. at the end of the jog, i'd be thinking "will i make it home? will i die? why in the hells did i do this?"

but i have never actually died from jogging. or passed out. thank God.

but i did vomit a couple of times. lol.

i always thought that i'm skinny enough as it is, why should i go for a jog?

but i think it has more to do with your health, rather than with what you look like.

sure, byproducts of jogging include looking good physically, but its main purpose is to exercise your heart etc.

anyways, i shall try to go and jog again tomorrow. wish me luck.

sometimes i feel that my quality of writing has gone down. maybe i'm too reader-oriented now.

but that would make no sense. being reader-oriented should theoretically improve my writing quality.

it probably has nothing to do with that, probably has more to do with me having no material to write about.

oh, i had two Inception-like dreams recently. for some reason.

(to whomever it is, if you haven't watched it yet, you should! arguably best movie of the year, avatar can suck it. lol)

in one dream, i realized that it was a dream and the dream started to slant a little bit, kinda like that seen where everything is slanted.

in the more recent dream, it was a dream inside a dream. i won't bore you with the details.

sure i liked the movie, but i didn't think my subconcious would like it THAT much.

the last time I was this into something was when I was into the anime series Claymore.

I was hanging my clothes to dry (in the middle of the night, wth rite, but im nocturnal, so bear with me), when I could've sworn I heard Claire's voice. fyi, claire is the protagonist of the cartoon (not sure how you spell heroine.)

yea most people would've been scared hearing a girl's voice in the middle of the night, but i was kinda excited and started looking everywhere.

but no, i did not find the girl.

if i did, you'd probably be reading this blog to read up on my demon-killing adventures with Claire, the super hot ridiculously exposed vampire killing babe.

anyways, tomorrow i am going to watch Despicable Me 3D (again) with my brother. no, he hasn't watched it yet, so i'm escorting him.

wouldn't it be cool to be a super villain? you could do whatever the hell you wanted, you'd be super rich, you don't have to care about what people think, etc2.

but at the end of days, you'd probably end up in hell, so, big disadvantage there.

oh well, life is full of choices. and each choice has its own pros and cons.

up to us to choose the best.

and if its not the best, learn from it, and learn to live with it.

last but not least, today is nisfu syaaban, the day where our "records" of good and bad are taken up and a new "record book" is opened.

as they say in malay, kosong-kosong la eh.

and all the best filling up the new book.

take care. peace.

funny words.

its funny how words can affect us.

or sometimes even the lack of words.

like that smile from a complete stranger i got on the train the other day.

no, it wasn't from a pretty girl or anything, just a smile from another guy that i helped find a seat.

i must admit, i'm not the nicest of people.

there are some things i said that i regret till today.

terlajak perahu boleh berundur, terlajak kata something something, as the saying goes.

and i guess there are some things i regret not saying. or regret not being able to say.

like how much i love my parents, my family in general.

its funny sometimes how the things you want to say the most, are the hardest to say.

i'm sorry.

i love you.

i took 10 ringgit from your wallet while you were sleeping. lol

words are powerful tools. they can get a dying patient in an upbeat mood, and they can crush a vicious conquering army's will to fight.

yet with all that power, it has a thing for disappearing when you need it the most.

like... now...

....

i think its important that you say what you mean, and mean what you say.

and try not to say something mean.

get what i mean?

but i guess there are times when you have to say things you don't really mean, i.e lie.

and sometimes we lie for the best of reasons. white lies.

but its funny how hard it is for us to lie convincingly, even for the noblest of causes.

i mean, really, how hard is it.

I was born on Mars five minutes ago, after which I descended from the heavens by a golden escalator down to earth.

to write a blog post.

yea im guessing its easier to write and lie, rather than to speak and lie.

ah what am i saying. im at a loss of words right now.

funny how we need them so much.

guess we should be grateful.

peace.

p/s : some words are just funny though. periculum. haha.

Yeay!

Officially a graduate!

Yeay!

Shortest post ever.

peace.

plans part 2.

didn't work out. what i planned didn't work out.

i'd be lying if i said i didn't care, i tried so many times to make it work but it just doesn't seem to happen.

pretty bummed out. sigh.

there's always something in the way.

most of the time, that something in the way is something quite significant.

its important to have the right priorities in life.

oh well. if its meant to be, i think it would happen even without any effort whatsoever.

so i guess i'll just stop trying so hard. and be my usual self, and not try at all.

haha.

Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just... do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.

guess who said that quote.

peace.

p/s: congrats to khai b for making her posts comment-able again. :)

Plans.

the only thing predictable in life, is that it is unpredictable.

regardless of how many times that octopus got it right, its still unpredictable.

sometimes when we expect something to happen, it doesn't.

so when it doesn't, we plan for something else.

and when we have already planned for something else, when you least expect it, it happens.

so now you're stuck between the two.

we'll just wait and see until it is really confirmed.

its just so frustrating sometimes. when things don't go according to plan.

but thats life, i think. we may have our plans, but in the end, its all His plan.

when i was small, i wanted to be a pilot, for some reason i'm not really sure. and then one day my father said to me "i'm sure you'll change your mind someday.".

and he was right. as always. its annoying how older people are always right sometimes. but they've earned their right i guess. haha.

at some point in my school life, i wanted to be a scientist. due to the influence of dexter's laboratory. i even have my own secret lab, in which i stored all my dragon ball comic books.

okay it was probably more of a library than a laboratory, but who cares right.

but despite all that, in those forms where you have to write down your amibition, i still wrote down pilot.

i really don't know what got that pilot idea in my head.

maybe it was coz of the fact that when i was a little boy, my family stayed very near to the airport. and whenever i couldn't sleep at night, my parents would take me in our family's old mazda car to this spot where we could see all the airplanes take off and land.

i remember i used to like that very much. maybe that was it.

anyways, when i was in secondary school, i kinda lost interest in being a pilot, for some reason. i guess i was just like any teen, simply drifting through their years, with no specific target in mind.

so when my mother started pestering me on what to do after i finished schools, that was when i started to think. and plan.

i was pretty sure by this point that i didn't want to do medicine. mostly because i knew i couldn't be a hardworking enough person to study the names of all the diseases and bones and tendons and chemicals and bla3..

i knew i liked physics. not exactly because of physics itself, but mostly because for physics, you only have to understand the concepts and remember the formulas, and you're good to go. haha.

at first i used to hate my chemistry teacher at school, cause he was pretty mean to me the first few weeks i met him. but in the end i really liked him (in a very manly way) and i really liked the subject.

so long story short, physics + chemistry = chemical engineering. that was the plan. that STILL is the plan.

to say that being a pilot wasn't realistic would be wrong. an old friend of mine is a pilot nowadays.

sometimes things go the way you planned it. some times it doesn't.

i didn't plan to meet so many wonderful people in my life.

i didn't plan to meet so many unlikeable characters in my life.

i didn't know if i was going to be able to get this far, yet at the same time i didn't know for some things this was as far as i could go.

but stuff happened anyways.

He had it all planned out.

The only thing to do now is to sit and wait, and watch His plan unfold.

That's the plan, anyways.

peace.

something is wrong.

so weird, can't comment on my own blog.

and, thought it through more carefully, i'm not going through with it.

pfft.

i'm just not adventurous enough.

all talk, which makes me very philosophical i guess.

plus, i didn't know sagittarians were philosophical too.

or maybe im just crazy. bosan sampai giler.. haha nice one.

Ramblings of a madman

Whatever you do in life is insignificant, but it's very important that you do it.

We hate to admit it, try as we might to deny it, its true.

Whatever you do, no matter how monumental it is, with time, it will be forgotten.

Or even if it isn't, eventually you will leave this earth, and so what you do won't really matter.

Well, not to you anyways.

However, the key thing here is to do it anyways.

For example, in a million years from now it would not matter if i used proper grammar, but it is important that i use it anyways.

Important to me, important to you, and important to who knows who else.

For even the most insignificant of things, plays an important part in life.

Like how the smallest of viruses can cause an entire country to start wearing face masks.

I'd like to think that everything happens for a reason.

As Einstein once said, "I, at any rate, am convinced that He does not throw dice".

Or in other words, God does not create things, or make things happen, randomly. There is always a purpose, a reason for everything.

Imagine what would happen if clouds form on the ground instead of up in the air.

You'd have clouds on the ground, and there would be a huge risk of getting electrocuted due to lightning every where you walk.

There's probably a reason why you woke up late today. Maybe its so that you won't wake up late tomorrow.

Imagine what would happen to the world if Sir Isaac Newton didn't rest under an apple tree, but under a durian tree.

He'd probably still discover gravity, only he wouldn't be alive to tell the tale.

There are so many things happening in this world, we couldn't possibly imagine why anything happens anyways.

We just assume things happen. and we get on with our lives.

Some lives move faster, and some slower.

I just found out recently a classmate from school just gave birth to her first child.

I on the other hand am still negotiating with my mother on whether it really is necessary for me to iron my clothes since its not really required for me to be neat to stay at home and eat and sleep.

Different lives move at different paces, and different people are faced with different responsibilities.

Some are huge, some are considerably smaller.

With these responsibilities, we forget that we lose something in the process, freedom.

At least some of it.

As a child we are not responsible for anything, thus have the freedom to do almost anything, as long as the parents don't mind.

As a parent however, we are bound by responsibility, and are not as free to do whatever we wish to.

I'm guessing the same can be applied to relationships.

We are bound to the other person, which does not allow us to go out with anyone we like, for reasons that are unclear.

Or in other words, I can't go out with a friend anymore. LOL.

As if I wasn't bored enough before.

Ah, such is the way of life.

Sometimes, life is like a vacuum cleaner.

It sucks.

But we make do with what we have.

Nothing in life worth having comes easy.

Come Wednesday, I'll go to the movies alone.

peace.

61?

this post has a point.

like, really.

the point of this post is to get rid of the chowder video that keeps popping up every time i open this blog.

(yes, i read my own posts. lol.)

don't get me wrong, i like the show, at the moment it may be the be-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-st show in the world, but its just noisy sometimes.

and also to comment on a friend's very recent blog post.

since khairul barriah is so stubborn and refuses to turn back on the comments section of her blog, i shall just comment here and hopes that she finds it in her busy schedule to read it.

congrats on the new job / training! very businesswoman-like.

now that the post has served its purpose, i shall continue on with my usual pointless rambling.

bla bla bla bla bla.

i really do have something to write about, but i tried yesterday, it just doesn't come out right.

to put it simple, in the words of shrek, "i like my privacy".

i don't like it when people i barely even know post stuff thats mine online for the whole world to see.

annoying juniors. pfft.

i don't think i was that annoying when i was a junior. or maybe i was... haha.

but in my defense, my senior was really cute.

and, oh, i wanted to borrow her books and notes and stuff... so, hahaha.

seriously considering changing the "kalau boleh kenalkan diri dulu sebelum add, tak suka add orang yang tak dikenali." on facebook to a "don't add me, i'll add you."

lol. i changed it. never knew i was so poetic. haha.

peace.

p/s: a pointless point is still considered a point!