hmm... its been awhile, hasn't it? not dat i've been dat bz, nor hv i been lacking on things to write, believe me, i can write every day, i used to do dat when i act had a diary,(hua3), but i got lazy. hehe. i had loads of stuff to write, but i dont wanna waste my time writing crap. i want to write things dat have an impact on my life. hehe. corny, i know, but wut the hell. at least u guys wont be wasting time reading crap. my blog is very educational... hehe. pendidikan moral.
my cousin got married. yeah. it seems more n more ppl r gettin married these days. huhu. neways, slmt pengantin baru to him n his wife, may they live happily ever after, until the end of their days... interesting enuf, there were no wisecracks of me having a gf. hehe. i guess my cousins, my aunts must be tired from all the asking and teasing. hehe. let me state here for the record, i dont have a girlfriend... maybe when i do have a gf, i'll tell you guys, since you guys are so persistent in asking. huhu.
oh yeah, meb test results came out. the one dat i said was d hardest(refer to last blog). indeed, it was hard, and it was harder for me to swallow what i got for the test. really hard. i know it was not going to be good, but i didnt expect it to be THAT bad. nope. hmmm... i guess, its times like this, it would be nice to have a gf, to have sumone you can really talk to.. hehe. nevermind all that. i'll comfort my own self for now... whats even more frustrating, my fren, actually got quite good grades! hell. he always gets good grades. no surprise there. but next time, try not to be so bloody modest, sumtimes it gets on ppl's nerves. especially when you say you did the test badly, and then come up with an almost 'a' mark. really. what i dont like more than that is a person that doesn't even tell what his/her marks is, but goes on asking ppl what their's is.that's just not right. in fact, its quite rude. although its not written in the students handbook or whatever, it is almost compulsory for you to reciprocate when a person tells you what his/her got for the test. but,even these type of people dont compare to ppl that actually LIE about their marks. what the hell does dat do? a person kindly tells you his/her marks,(even though if its not good, if i might add), and what do you do? you LIE to their face. my God, have these ppl no decency? seriously, what kind of human being are you!!!??? okay, i may have went out of line with that last one, but still, its a shameful thing to do, so whoevers doing it, please stop. you're not gonna make any friends like that, only the opposite. neways, where was i? oh yeah, d part where ppl are getting higher marks than me.. moving on, the worst part is, even though the test was bloody hard, some bugger actually got full marks! serious shit, i kid you not. i doubt dat d guy would be reading my blog, but if he is, i salute you! "you are a god amongst flies...".magneto said that in xmen. even though my pride is hurt, at least i get some motivation to study more. obviously the lifestyle i had in pasum isn't going to work here in utp. lesson learnt.
the big finale. this part is going to be bloody long, so bare with me. if you think so far it the blog is boring, stop right here. read no more. haha. tq 4 reading, now get lost. haha.
when i was a kid, my dream was to become famous. yes, famous. i dont know why, but back then i wanted so badly to become famous. at primary school, i wasnt that famous, but i had my group of frens. probably after skipping one year, going from standard 3 to standard 5, dat i became a bit known throughout the school. i was in d 2nd batch of students dat made it, and i was d 1st malay to do so at dat school. nice. hehe. but i didnt realise it back then. haha. i guess i was blinded to these things back then. those were the days. i had as much fun as a kid could possibly have, yet still get good grades. huhu. if only it were true these days. huhu.
neways, skipping a few years, lets go to when im in form 4. i guess, you could say, during this period of time, i was one of the 'rich and famous'. huhu. dont ask me why i got famous dis time, probably bcoz i got straight a's on my pmr, probably bcoz of my striking good looks(hehe, i WAS the center of attention to some of d chicks, this is my THEORY lah, not necessarily true...), or simply bcoz God wanted it to be dat way. nehow, with time, i realised, this wasnt what i truly wanted. it wasn't as cool as i thought it would be. huhu. sure, everyone knows me, but for some reason, everyone feels like i owe them a smile, or a handshake everytime i walk past them. i dont just smile to everyone i meet, hell, sumtimes i dont even smile to ppl i DO know, let alone the ppl dat i dont. so ppl started talking bad stuff, doing bad things to me, so you can guess dat it isnt dat fun when ppl start talking crap bout you.
i didnt do so well in my spm. ok i guess, but not as good as my previous big exams. i had half hoped to go overseas, but with average results, no way man. maybe if i actually concentrated more on my studies instead of... 'other' stuff... but what the hell, no use crying over spilled milk. and its been my sole dream, to fly overseas and further my studies.
there wasnt any way for me to do so. my spm was my only ticket to do that. and instead of having a 1st class ticket, i just got an average ticket. so no flying overseas for me... but it has been in my heart ever since that moment. i tried applying for scholarships based on my matriculation results, but to no avail. apparently you basically need to be almost a genius to get these overseas scholars. huhu.
neways, after much struggling, i actually got a scholar, but only a local scholarship. nevertheless, i am grateful, though secretly, i still hold on to that dream, no matter how slim the chance may be. i cannot imagine what that would be like. huhu.
unbelievably, i just found out of a way to further my studies overseas! well, its not exactly what i had in mind, but, beggars cant be choosers. you see, in utp, as i just found out recently, they actually send students overseas for industrial internship. actually, i know dat already. hehe. what i didnt know was dat it doesn't only apply to international students, it also applies for local students. huhu. meaning, for 8 months, you will be sent to a faraway country, to gain experience on how your work will actually be like in the future. technically, its not what you would normally call 'further studies', haha, but im desperate. i need something. i need a drive to motivate me to study. ive been slipping. slowly drifting away, everyday becoming more and more ignorant to my studies, everyday becoming more and more captivated in my own world, where you dont have to study hard to succeed.... hmmm... i need this. i need this thing. im holding on to it.....
haha. im starting to sound like a lunatic.. huhu. whatever lah. i want this. im going to try harder to get it. im not just going to sit around and wait for it to happen. im going to work for it. im going to earn it. YEAH!!!!! haha. (psychotic, i know, wut the hell, at least it gets me pumped up..)
so dats pretty much it ppl. oh yeah, i dont feel like editing my blog this time, so im leaving it as raw as it is. usually i'd check for spelling, grammar errors, and see if ppl wud actually understand what im saying, haha, but not this time. some ppl, they use their state of poverty to motivate them, some ppl, use their girlfriend to give them the strength and the will for them to succeed. alhamdulillah, i'm not poor, (nor am i rich, lets be clear on dat.), and unfortunately, i dont have a gf. huhu. so im using this, this small chance, to redeem the mistakes that i committed during my spm, as my inspiration. my driving force. my salvation, hopefully.
slightly psychotic, somewhat emo dis time. huhu. chow.
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