Tuesday, April 24, 2007

time to change.

crap.how long has it been?ive been very busy. too busy. and still, i have to waste on all those unnecessary stuff.such as writing blogs. haha. but wut the hell, tonite, ive got to release sum tension, chill for a bit, even if its for one day...



i jz had my thermo test this evening. and the best way to describe it, catastrophic. only God can save me. i had no idea how clueless i was on this subject. seriously. im as blind as a bat without the sonar(or wuteva it is dat bats use to navigate their way around) in dis subject. crap. crap. crap. need to get back on track....



its funny, how i say dat so often, yet i never seem to be able to do so. i jz get hyped up for a moment, and then, its gone. damn. wut the hell is wrong wif me? argh.. how i miss d days when all i had to do is eat, sleep and have fun... haha. dumb, i know, coz during the holidays i always get as bored as hell, and at dat time, i wud think, how "cool" wud it be to have sumtin to do rite now, such as study for exams.. haha. dumb and dumber.



no idea wut to do bout this. i hv another test dis friday, n i havent studied at all. im a bit worried, yet i dont show it. ignorance is bliss. no denying dat. but they shud hv told us dat regret hurts hell of a lot more than how blissful ignorance is. haha.



y is it dat humans(specifically, me) like to repeat their mistakes? is it in our genes? (the heroes fan talking here.. hehe. if u havent watched the series, u shud!)... we seem to know dat wat we're doin is wrong, yet we still do it. do we lack the courage to do so? most of d time, no. it is bcoz we chose to do so. it is determination dat we, or more specifically, i lack. i do not hv the determination, d strength, d willpower, to do wut i need to succeed. in the end, it all comes down to dat one little attribute dat defines me so perfectly. its d thing dat keeps u in bed supposedly jz 5 minutes more.. d thing dat makes u finish ur assignment tomorrow instead of today. d very thing dat makes u fail ur exams(most of d time neways) n makes u bloody fat (haha). laziness. yes, the root of all things bad. laziness.



imagine wut the world wud be like if sir isaac newton was lazy. instead of creating newtons law of gravitation and all sorts of laws of physics, he probably would've jz taken a bite from the destined to be famous apple and be happy dat he has food in his stomach. and that poor apple probably wudnt b as famous as it is today. haha. side tracking a bit, that apple is probably the most popular fruit in the history of mankind. if not for that particular apple, we probably wud be in the stone age. haha.



getting back to the main topic, lazy. this blasted attribute dat i have clearly is my primary attribute. it defines who i am. if i am not lazy, u cud say im not yasin. but there are times when i got rid of this ... curse.(i hv no idea wt 'sifat' is in english other than attribute. haha. God help me.properties? haha. chem engineer in d making) i mean, in my school years, nearing d big exams, im no longer lazy, im like super hardworking(from my point of view lah, for most ppl dat may look like an average study routine..). but y cant i do it nowadays? hmm...



who knows really...  if its d environment, all my housemates r basically bookworms. haha. no offense guys. not all of u nehow. but most of you. me? im probably a cyberworm. haha. never a bookworm, never not a cyberworm. haha. maybe ive changed. i cant really say. its all in me, and it seems, i dun want to score as bad as i thought. i mean, if i did, i'd surely be studying rite now instead of writing stuff in a blog.. hehe. kidding, mr blog. i like writing stuff here, and im gonna continue doing so as long as i can, for as frequent as can be, even though at times 'frequent' may not be the appropriate word to be used.



so, here i am, blabbing on and on bout how my test was disasterous, catastrophic, and me being lazy as hell, when all i have to do to change dat is simply to change. jz start being more hardworking from this very second. be more disciplined, no more slacking, no more foolin around. but change, even though it can be so easy at times, other times, its practically impossible. hmm.more crap. all talk, no action. argh!



dah la, i'm tired of writing. y write bout all dis crap, y. when all im goin to do after dis, is sleep, wake up late, play games, watch movies n practice on my violin? oh yeah, i jz got my 1st violin! woohoo.. im officially a violin player, i guess u cud call me a violinist.. huhu. although, if the use of the word is dependent on ur ability to play the violin, i hv a LONG way to go b4 neone can call me a violinist. if the word violinist even exists lah. haha. teruknyer my english. im talking manglish! argh! i never want to speak manglish. but it is inevitable i guess, after all, im in malaysia, and i speak english, its bound to catch up to me, sooner or later. manglish is definitely easier to speak, easier in the sense it takes less time to say sumtin in manglish then in proper english. example? say u see sumone staring at u. if u were speaking PROPER english, u wud probably say, "excuse me, but i noticed that u were staring at me. by any chance, do we know each other?". but if u were speaking PROPER manglish(if there is such a thing.. haha), u most probably wud say "what look look?". haha.



neways, enough digressing, as i was saying, im tired. really. im tired of getting crappy marks. im tired of studying, jz to find out later dat ive barely studied squat. im tired of having to stare around d exam hall, jz to get an idea of wut the hell it is dat the exam question wants from me. i'm tired of feeling like crap, each time i finish a test or exam.... im tired of feeling unprepared each time i take a test.... i need to change. simple as dat. change. as digi put it, its time to change. and wut a time it is. nearing d exams. nearing d deadlines to all d projects. it IS time to change. i'll try. wish me luck guys. i'll need every prayer i can get. we'll see wut becomes of me in my next blog.



finally, id jz like to say, even though it might be a bit late for most of u guys, especially my peeps in um, but gud luck. may all ur exam question seem relatively easy to u due to the abundance of knowledge in ur brain. may u no longer feel unprepared, unconfident of ur capabilities in scoring. may u have d best of marks possible, n may u do so with the highest integrity possible( in manglish, no tiru-ing la.) huhu. to ibs, we shud b motivating each other. haha. bl lagi nk jadi mcm dl. main xigt dunia, tp score tetap gempak. hehe. we were d very definition of cool. haha. to be cool is to be yasin, to be ibs. to be lame wud be un-yasin or un-ibs like. haha. too much exaggeration. klah, im trying to make a change in my lifestyle here... gotta stop wasting time. hehe. take care ppl. chow.


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