Experience

I was standing in a field of grass, that stretched as far as the eye could see. There were no hills, no trees, no buildings, just grass all around.

It was dark. My heart tells me it was not night time, but there was little sunlight to be seen. The sky looked like it was about to rain, but I did not hear any thunder.

The grass swayed from right to left, suggesting that the wind was blowing. I did not feel it on my skin, nor did I hear it blow.

It would have been a beautiful sight, were it not so dark and gloomy. Nevertheless, not often do you get a view such as this all to yourself.

But I was not the only one there. There was someone else.

Or something.

A shadowy creature stood only a few feet away from me. I could not see the face of this hunched figure, partly due to the dark skies, but mostly due to the darkness surrounding it, conveniently disguising its identity.

It was angry.

I felt that it, or rather he was angry.

At me.

He scolded me for something, I could not understand the words he said, but I knew he was scolding me for something I did.

I was afraid. I apologized, but the words that were coming out of my mouth, I could not decipher. I still can not. But I knew what I was saying.

Perhaps there is a language that I did not know I could speak. Or perhaps I have forgotten.

He was not satisified. He moved closer towards me. He did not walk, for he did not have any legs. Only upon recalling the ordeal did I remember that, where there should have been legs, there was smoke.

I did not feel threatened, for some reason. He was standing closer now, facing towards me, speaking in a calmer voice. He warned me of something, of what I did not know.

But his very last sentence was the only one that I could understand. It was in Malay. I do not remember it word per word, but it was something like :

"Lagi-lagi dengan keadaan sekarang ini."

And then it happened.

This was by far the most incredible thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

The creature turned to see it himself.

The clouds above started to swirl and from it, four huge tornados began to form. Simultaneously. It was swirling mid-air, and took a few seconds before all four hit the ground.

I recall the sound of the wind finally reaching my ears, but it is not something I can describe.

Suddenly, total darkness.

A second passed.

I hear the sound of my heart beating. I feel it in my chest. I hear myself inhaling and exhaling air.

I am back.

For some reason, I did not open my eyes. Instead, I stayed that way, in darkness, until after perhaps a few more seconds, I fell asleep again.

But this time, there was no dream.

Peace.

talking to myself

this post really is just me talking to myself, so uh,you might wanna skip ths one.

I can't sleep.

(... because I just woke up from my nap 3 hours ago.)

Its funny how someone has a lot to say but can't really find the words to say it.

Yet at the same time some people don't really have something worth saying, yet they say it with more words than necessary.

Is it weird to talk to yourself? Because I do that almost all the time. (not in public though, coz that'd be even weirder)

I discuss things that are on my mind, I help myself get motivated or gather the courage to do something, I sometimes scold myself for not performing or not doing any better.

When you pile it up in one sentence, I guess it does look pretty weird.

But at least, I think anyways, this way I know that I always think back on the things I've done. And things I'm about to do.

Its not that I can't get people to talk to, its just that sometimes there are things that you feel, the things that you fear, the things that you favour, only you yourself can truly understand.

And lets face it, this blog really is another way of me talking to myself. Its not something I promote to people, just for people that are interested to know what I'm thinking.

Since I don't really talk so much, apparently.

I think I think a lot.

(that sentence kinda answers itself)

Its hard to find nice people to talk to. Really.

Some just talk too little, some just talk too much, some just aren't on the same page with you.

Which would explain why I have many close friends, yet not so many friends.

Relatively speaking, of course.

Someone once told me that meeting new people is fun.

My first thought was "Whats so fun about that? What a weird thing to say".

Luckily, I've learned to keep my first thoughts to myself. Although my facial expressions betray me sometimes, and whenever I think something like that, the sarcastic smile always comes out.

But facial expressions are just as hard to read as the mind.

I find that meeting new people is important, but not necessarily fun.

I've heard very recently that "If there's no networking, then its not working."

Which is very true. but its very difficult to change yourself, from this generally quiet person to a generally talkative person.

But i'm working on it, ( like i said on the interview the other day).

You could say that before this, if I'm talking to you, means I like you, and I find you an interesting person to talk to.

Because really, its important someone interesting to talk to, because if the person isn't that interesting to talk to, in my opinion, why bother really.

But now I find out that talking for no purpose other than to talk is required in the real world, therefore I shall work on it.

I need to work on my people skills.

I never realized before work that my reserved-ness was such a bother to other people. I guess no one ever bothered to tell me that I was a quiet person. I guess they thought I knew.

Well, I didn't.

Ah, long story short, life really is a journey to further improve oneself.

Or as some would put it, returning back to the state of perfection you once were, i.e the way you were created.

I realize that after writing for so long, I didn't really have a point to convey. Or perhaps there were a few valid points, lost in between the lines.

Life is full of mysteries. One of it being why I blogged about this, whatever this is.

Oh wait, it was because I can't sleep.

I still can't.

If I was you, I probably wouldn't read the whole blog post and would probably skim through this ridiculously long post.

Generally what I'd do is that I'd read the beginning part, the middle part, conclude that the post isn't really worth the effort to read, and skip to the end, before commenting, sometimes on stuff totally unrelated to the post.

In general I suppose I'm a guy that gets bored very easily. I sometimes get bored of myself even. People bore me sometimes. I sometimes make up scenes in my head to avoid boredom.

But i digress. I'm bored now, which means it'll be easier for me to fall asleep.

All the best in life, be nice to other people, always eat your vegetables.

Peace. Take care.

Epic of Epic Epicness

Short post (again) to let people know what I'm currently into.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Won't explain much, title pretty much explains itself. Its a comic-turned-movie. Like really2 funny, and fun to watch. I also liked the soundtrack, here's one of the songs i like.




In general life is looking up. Looking on the bright side of life now. Funny how you're one day a nocturnal creature, the next you're this 50 year old guy that sleeps after dinner. How one day you're doing absolutely nothing with the time that you have, the next you wish you had 25 hours in a day. Life's like that I suppose. Only thing predictable about life is that it is unpredictable.

In the process of work I have learned so many things, most of which don't really relate to work. One, never be arrogant with what you have. I used to be so proud of my degree, but working has taught me that a degree is only a piece of paper. The guy I'm learning from at work didn't even finish high school. Despite that, he's currently one of the few experts left in the factory, and people come to him for advice on what to do almost all the time. Lesson in humility.

Next, always be grateful with what you have. If you're not grateful with what God has given you, then how can you expect Him to give you more? And grateful doesn't mean you're settling for something mediocre, it just means you're thankful for what you have, but at the same time strive to improve.

My school had this Latin motto, Bene Orasse, Bene Studuisse, which translates to Pray Hard, Study Hard. When translated into Malay, it became Berusaha dan Berdoa. I'm thinking they left out one crucial part. My motto now is Berusaha, Berdoa, Bersyukur.

:)

Till next time, enjoy!

Peace from the Black Sheep. :P

P/s : Go watch Scott Pilgrim if you haven't! EPIC! I heart Sex Bob-Omb! rofl.

Relativity of Life and How Unrelated Mine Is.

short post to let people know i'm alive.

i'm alive.

(end)

though i don't really have that much of a social life these days (or the days before), so you could say i'm kinda not alive.

does this make me undead?

why undead anyways? why not un-alive.

guess it doesn't sound as catchy.

work is demanding a lot more from me than i expected.

first it demands that i wake up early. real early. 4 30 am.

thats usually about the time i go to sleep during my uni days.

which would explain a lot about my attendance (or lack of it).

i don't mind, since i get to sleep after work, which is 3 pm. plus i avoid the rush hour traffic, always a plus in my books.

but now work is robbing me of my weekends as well.

apparently the company failed to mention that i'm "obligated" (not exactly required) to come in during the weekends.

or any other time the factory runs.

which is all the time. till the end of time.

which inadvertently is sucking the social life right out of me. yeah i'm close to fully dead now.

my co-workers don't really mind though, probably coz they're 50+ and their days hitting the night clubs are probably long gone.

but the job does have its plusses. (not sure thats a real word)

its a multi-national company, so experience working in a company like this is bound to be recognized.

the benefits here are awesome, as barney would say it. (stinson, not the dinosaur.)

i'm learning something thats extremely useful, something i always thought was beneficial should i get the chance to learn, and so here i am.

the people are generally friendly, i'm trying my best to try and fit in this very friendly environment, so that should improve my people skills.

(yeah, when you think about it, "i prefer to work with machines rather than with people" isn't exactly something a friendly person would say, so i guess i'm not that friendly.)

but it does have its low points.

as explained before, unusual hours, work on weekends (though it comes with "allowance"), not so high salary (as compared to other people with my qualifications), long learning period (still learning how to do my work) and lastly, huge responsibility.

(if the factory stops, chances are i'll be one of the people blamed. lol)

but i complain too much.

sure some people might get better pay, don't have to work on weekend's, all that stuff, but there are still some people that are still worse off than me, working under the hot sun all day and getting lower pay than me.

(i instead work in a small room with a huge air-conditioner, that sometimes makes me wonder if they're purposely trying to freeze me to death, or probably train me to get acclimated with Hanover weather.)

so here i am, trying to hold on, trying to make myself enjoy this thing that i'm doing.

you need to work to continue living.

i did not realize that before.

College Yasin - extinct.

Factory Worker Yasin - alive and well.

hey, after all its only been 2 months. first step is always the hardest.

guy teaching me has experience of 42 years in this place. so this place can't be that bad.

though i have seen people missing an arm walking around.

gulps.

fyi, i still have mine though. both of them. (much emphasis on still) lol.

oh another downside, only guys factory, very few girls. fail.

i think i can count the number of girls i see in the factory with my fingers.

(coz i still have my 10 fingers)

gulps.

ignoring the fact that this would be a very good time to consider switching from hetero to homo, learning new stuff is hard. which is why i'm sometimes down.

coz i'm required to learn stuff from scratch.

according to my boss, my colleagues, being in their 50s, "have reached their hard disk capacity, and cannot absorb any more data. theirs is a 512MB hard disk, almost full, and mine is an empty 1GB hard disk"

though he's not very up to date with computer technology (coz we now have 1 terabyte (1000 GB) HDs and 1GB memory card is about as big as my little pinkie fingernail), he's an Excel-wiz and he's a real nice guy.

ok enuf bout work, lets talk bout something else.

.

.

.

nice weather we're having nowadays huh?

peace, take care.

bulan bahasa kebangsaan

sempena bulan bahasa kebangsaan ini iaitu oktober, saya mengambil keputusan untuk menulis dalam bahasa Melayu untuk menunjukkan kebanggaan saya terhadap bahasa kebangsaan kita dan juga untuk membuktikan saya bukanlah seekor raksasa kuning atau jingga bermata empat yang tak pandai berbahasa Melayu.

sebenarnya, saya memang pandai berbahasa Melayu sejak dari kecil lagi. seingat saya, daripada lahir lagi saya telah fasih berbahasa Melayu, kerana tidak pula saya ingat sesiapa mengajar saya Bahasa Melayu, yang saya ingat saya sudah pun bercakap dalam bahasa Melayu.

jika orang lain pergi ke sekolah untuk belajar matapelajaran Bahasa Melayu, saya pula sudah fasih berbahasa Melayu, maka saya pun kurang pasti apa yang saya belajar ketika saya di sekolah dahulu. tidak hairanlah apabila saya dipilih mewakili kelas untuk membaca sebuah buku cerita bahasa Melayu ketika hari penyampaian hadiah. namun, sebab saya dipilih mungkin juga disebabkan saya seorang sahaja yang boleh membaca ketika itu, kerana ketika itu saya masih di bangku tadika, dan kanak-kanak lain mungkin lebih sibuk bermain dengan plastisin daripada membaca.

walaupun saya fasih berbahasa Melayu, perbendaharaan kata saya ketika saya masih kecil tidaklah sekaya sekarang ini. maka apabila buku cerita itu mengisahkan tentang seekor ikan haruan, saya pun telah tersalah sebut nama ikan tersebut, daripada sebutan "haruwan" menjadi "haru-an". saya kira pasti ikan tersebut sedikit tersinggung dengan saya.

namun begitu, ianya bukanlah seratus peratus kesalahan saya. tidak pula saya diajar oleh ibu bapa saya mahupun guru-guru tentang nama-nama ikan di Tanah Melayu ini. ia juga mungkin disebabkan saya lebih gemar menjadikan ayam sebagai lauk daripada ikan. oleh sebab itu juga, saya mengetahui banyak nama-nama ayam sejak dari kecil lagi. antaranya termasuklah ayam goreng, ayam golek, ayam percik dan juga ayam KFC. ikan saya tahu ikan haruan sahaja.

selain daripada bahasa Melayu, saya juga boleh berbahasa Inggeris sejak dari kecil lagi, namun tidaklah sehebat saya berbahasa Melayu. mungkin ketika itu saya masih belum yakin atau cukup perbendaharaan kata saya untuk berbahasa Inggeris, tetapi saya tetap faham apabila sesorang bercakap dalam bahasa Inggeris. ini mungkin disebabkan oleh bapa dan ibu saya yang sesekali sesekala bertutur dalam bahasa Inggeris, mungkin juga disebabkan oleh kartun-kartun yang saya tonton ketika itu kesemuanya berbahasa Inggeris. mungkin juga kerana datuk saya sebenarnya seorang askar British, yang telah jatuh cinta dengan seorang gadis tempatan iaitu nenek saya.

tetapi sebab yang terakhir itu tidak mungkin kerana itu hanyalah rekaan semata-mata, datuk saya Melayu tulen.

di sekolah, saya belajar bahawa bahasa Inggeris bukanlah hanya digunakan di dalam kartun semata-mata, sebaliknya ianya merupakan bahasa perantaraan seluruh dunia. maka saya pun belajarlah bersungguh-sungguh bahasa asing ini, sehinggalah keputusan SPM Bahasa Inggeris saya lebih baik daripada keputusan Bahasa Melayu saya. tak apalah, bisik hati kecil saya, asalkan fasih kedua-duanya, tak kisah lah yang mana satu a1 dan mana satu a2.

hanya apabila saya sampai ke menara gading barulah saya sedar akan "kepentingan" bahasa Inggeris ini. semua orang ingin berbahasa Inggeris, semua orang bercakap dalam bahasa Inggeris, sehinggakan Melayu sesama Melayu sekalipun berbahasa Inggeris. walaupun kebanyakan daripada mereka tidaklah mahir dengan hukum hakam tatabahasa Inggeris, mereka tetap ingin bertutur dalam bahasa Inggeris. ada juga Melayu yang lebih fasih berbahasa Inggeris berbanding Melayu.

hakikatnya, walaupun sudah sekian lama kita merdeka, namun fikiran kita masih dijajah oleh bangsa luar. kita orang Melayu masih mengagung-agungkan bahasa Inggeris, kita mendabik dada merasa bangga apabila kita fasih berbahasa Inggeris, dan memandang rendah terhadap mereka yang kurang fasih. kadangkala kita bercakap dalam Bahasa Inggeris bukan kerana kita selesa bercakap dalam bahasa itu, sebaliknya kerana kita ingin menunjuk-nunjuk kebolehan kita berbahasa Inggeris.

saya akui, saya juga kerap sekali menggunakan bahasa Inggeris, tetapi bukanlah niat saya untuk menunjuk-nunjuk ataupun teringin menjadi mat salleh, sebaliknya hanyalah kerana saya selesa berbahasa Inggeris dan suka saya menggunakan bahasa itu apabila sesuai keadaannya. kadang kala saya melihat orang berbahasa Inggeris tunggang terbalik dan dirojakkan pula, ternyata mereka tidak selesa bercakap dalam bahasa itu, sebaliknya hanya ingin kelihatan sejuk (cool).

(tetapi mungkin juga orang itu dalam proses pembelajaran, sekiranya ya maka sayalah yang salah dan sayalah juga yang lemah kerana memandang serong terhadap seseorang, wallahualam)

hakikatnya bahasa Inggeris itu hanyalah satu bahasa asing, tiada apa hebatnya jika dibandingkan dengan bahasa kita sendiri, cumanya penggunaannya meluas di seluruh pelusuk dunia. kira-kira 500 tahun dahulu, bahasa kita juga berada di bibir setiap pedagang-pedagang yang berlabuh dan berjual beli di pelabuhan Melaka, namun firasat saya mengatakan mereka tidak pula merasakan ianya sejuk untuk berbahasa Melayu, sebaliknya hanyalah menggunakan bahasa kita sebagai alat yang penting dalam pekerjaan mereka.

tetapi tidaklah pula saya tahu sekiranya anak-anak pedagang ini bercakap dalam bahasa Melayu berojakkan Portugis contohnya kerana mereka terlalu mengagungkan kaum Melayu dan ingin menjadi Melayu celup.

haruslah kita berbangga dengan bahasa kita sendiri, kerana jika bukan kita, siapa lagi. janganlah kita sekadar menceduk perkataan Inggeris dan menggunakannya dalam bahasa kita yang indah ini walhal perkataan itu telah pun wujud dari dahulu lagi dalam perbendaharaan kata bahasa kita. contohnya tidak perlulah kita menggunakan perkataan diskusi, sedangkan dari dahulu lagi perkataan perbincangan itu telahpun wujud. tidak perlulah kita menggunakan perkataan bajet, sedangkan tiada kurangnya perkataan belanjawan itu. oh ye, saya juga tidak suka perkataan laman sesawang. tak sedap langsung bunyi nya.

tetapi kita tidak boleh juga menjadikan sayang kita kepada bahasa Melayu alasan untuk tidak fasih dalam bahasa Inggeris. sepertimana pedagang-pedagang asing dahulu mempelajari bahasa Melayu untuk berdagang jualan masing-masing, begitu juga perlunya kita mahir dalam bahasa antarabangsa zaman ini untuk memastikan kita tidaklah ketinggalan di belakang, duduk di bawah tempurung seperti seekor katak yang terperangkap. kita haruslah melompat keluar dari tempurung itu, dan melompat pula ke kelas bahasa inggeris jika perlu. sebenarnya kalau diikutkan, 11 tahun persekolahan sudah cukup untuk kita mahir berbahasa Inggeris walaupun dari mulanya kita tidak tahu langsung bahasa Inggeris, pasal kalau difikirkan lagi, umur kita setahun dua pun kita sudah pandai berbahasa Melayu.

tetapi tak apalah, yang pentingnya keinginan untuk belajar dan memperkasakan diri sendiri. itu sajalah bebelan saya untuk kali ini, sekadar ingin menunjukkan perasaan sayang dan bangga saya terhadap bahasa ibunda.

salam hormat, salam mesra.

:)

imagine

imagine in front of you is a pile of cash worth a gazillion ringgit, and its all yours.

(no i did not win the lottery, nor is my salary that high... zz.)

so you start to think, hmm.. what should i do with all this money?

should i go out and buy me some brand new clothes? should i go out and eat at fancy shmancy restaurants instead? or maybe travel someplace interesting? or maybe just buy a nice PC and spend time indoors... lol.

so you go out and buy all these branded new clothes, shop until your feet are all wobbly. but when you get home, you try out all the clothes and you think, sure the clothes are nice, but its so tiring to go and shop, plus when i think about it, its not exactly the best way to spend my money.

so next, you go out and have super nice meals at these super expensive outlets, where they would actually help you to chew the food and all (exaggeration), and when you get home, you feel like, sure the food is awesome, but really, is it really worth it to pay so much money to eat good food? after all, good food or no, you still fill up your stomach, and to most thats what matters..

so after still feeling unsatisfied, you go on this tour group which takes you to the most exciting of places in the world, and yet, when you're there, the only thing you can think of is, "theres no place like home".

so imagine, when you're back home, although enjoying the trip around the world, can't help but feel tired and discontent. and suddenly you remembered, oh crap, i still have one more thing to do on my list, but i've run out of cash to buy that PC i wanted.

so with what little money you have left, you decide to go into a cyber cafe and use the computer for a short while. and what you found out was that, this is what makes you happy. even though you're just sitting in front of a stinking computer, all alone amongst people you don't really know, you're really enjoying yourself.

but sucks for you, you've used up all your money.

again, this is all very hypothetical, i did not find my life's true calling in front of a desktop in a cyber cafe, thank God.

now imagine its not a pile of money that you were looking at.

yea its not, sorry gold diggers.

instead, imagine its your future.

imagine you have your whole life ahead of you, and you're wondering, hmm, what should i do with my life?

should i do this? or should i do that?

if i decide to do this, what if i find out later that this is not what i wanted to do, and i find out that the other thing was what i wanted to do?

wouldn't that part of life be a waste?

and worse, what if i tried everything i ever wanted to try out and do, and only at the end, did i realize my true calling was something else.

and by then it would be too late to do much.

example, if i had known i was going to take up chemical engineering, i probably would have focused my studies at school more on physics and mathematics, rather than waste time studying biology.

Steve Jobs said that its impossible to connect the dots looking forward, you can only do it looking backwards.

Lucky for him, when he looked backwards, the dots were actually connectable.

some people aren't so lucky.

just thinking out loud on this one.

peace.

old friend.

hello there dear friend of 3 and a half years, roughly. sorry for neglecting you all this while. i've been busy.

you really have been there for me, listening to all my rants and rambles, so thank you for that. i tell you almost everything, though some things are best left unsaid.

i've been working for two weeks now at this tyre factory. the smell isn't as bad as i thought it would be. my colleagues are as old as my father, if not older, so im finding it a bit hard to fit in, but i'll manage eventually.

i wake up at 4 30 each morning, because i need to be at work at 6 am. yes, i know, its unbelievable, i can hardly believe it myself. i leave for work before subuh. its not easy, thats for sure. my bed time is now 10 30 - 11 30 pm, instead of after subuh. its amazing what humans are capable of, once they set their mind to it.

work so far has been mostly simple so far. although i come in early, i have plenty of free time, so i spend it by trying not to fall asleep and pretending to look busy. but i have learnt a lot i think, and my supervisor is going to be on leave this coming Monday, so i'll be on my own. wish me luck.

i live in seri kembangan, but i work in petaling jaya. its a bit far, i'll admit, kinda like going from puncak meru to temiang. but i decided not to move closer to work.

why? sure it'll be closer to work, but i'll be staying all alone, and thats no fun. at least in seri kembangan im with my cousin, there'll be company, and i know he and his current roommate can be trusted, so i feel safe.

i'm nowadays more or less disconnected with the online world. the house im staying in doesn't have an internet connection, plus i'm so tired when i get home, i don't really feel like going to a cyber cafe just to login to facebook / twitter and bug people.

but i realize i don't really need those stuff to live. sure, i don't communicate as much with my friends, but is it really necessary to tell my friends what i'm doing all the time 24 hours a day 7 days a week?

plus if you are really good friends, like you and i, doesn't matter if we don't talk for awhile, as soon as we meet up, its as if we were never apart.

my convocation is coming up in 2 weeks time. hope you'll come, although i know you can't. its exciting, to truly graduate from the university, and to meet up with friends you haven't met for 3 months, but when you were studying you can't seem to not bump into these people.

but its also a bit of a bother. i have to go back to ipoh every weekend now, to settle convo related stuff. plus truth be told, the excitement is slightly gone because i've started working. the mind is already somewhere else, worrying how you'll perform at work.

whereas the convocation ceremony is just for show, go or don't go, you still graduate.

but that doesn't mean i don't want to go. :)

truth be told, i don't know what my life is going to be like in these coming months. so far, all i do is go to work, come back from work, short nap, eat sleep, wake up and go to work again. i think im slowly turning into a drone.

and the honest truth is that, i can't imagine what life is going to be like after this, and the thought scares me. or maybe its because i do have an idea of what its going to be like, and that makes me afraid.

i can't tell. only way to find out is to see things through. again, wish me luck old friend.

i saw on tv the other day, that if you travel really fast, and you approach the speed of light, time actually slows down for you. also, according to the formula e=mc2, if you approach the speed of light, not only will time slow down for you, if you try to go faster, your mass will increase.

so in simpler words, go really fast and you'll outrun time, but you'll get fatter. lol.

i have no idea how this is relevant to what i'm telling you, but i thought it was something interesting to share.

i've run out of words dear friend. i'll leave you with an interesting quote by the world's most famous scientist. its not hard to see why he's so famous, since he's able to explain super complex things in simple terms.

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

aspire to be as brilliant as he is, and one day maybe we will be. we may not be as smart as he is, but maybe we are emotionally sound, or spiritually peaceful as he is intellectually smart.

life is full of surprises. take care old friend.

peace.

1000 words or more.

friendship

family

pets

nostalgia

beautiful skies

beautiful landscape

loneliness

company

adorable-ness
(mati aku kalau dia tau aku upload gmbr ni)

cute-ness.

and last but not least.

yasin-ness.

peace.

Jangan ketawa.

Something less serious to lighten the mood of the blog. =)

Perfect Love

While randomly surfing the net for stuff to read, I stumbled upon a very interesting article on our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. In general it was about how he treats his wives with kindness and compassion, but what really caught my interest was this particular part that was trying to show how our Prophet loved his first wife Khadijah.

I would say that most of us know the story, how he loved her so much that when she passed away, the year was known as "Tahun Kesedihan" because of how much he grieved. But how sad was he, how much did he really love her, we can only imagine.

I think this article helps us imagine it better.

(Its in Bahasa Melayu, so hopefully you guys understand. XP)

Cinta kasih Nabi terhadap Khadijah tergambar dalam riwayat berikut ini: Setelah Khadijah meninggal dunia, Rasulullah menikah dengan Aisyah. Suatu hari Rasulullah sedang berada di depan rumah. Tiba-tiba Rasulullah meninggalkan Aisyah menuju kepada seorang perempuan. Rasulullah memanggilnya dan menyuruh perempuan itu duduk di hadapan-nya kemudian mengajaknya berbicara.

Aisyah bertanya, “Siapakah perempuan tua ini?” Rasulullah menjawab, “Inilah sahabat Khadijah dulu.” Lalu Aisyah berkata, “Engkau sebut-sebut juga Khadijah padahal Allah telah menggantikannya dengan isteri yang lebih baik.”

Ketika itu marahlah Nabi sampai bergoncang rambut di atas kepalanya. Lalu beliau berkata, “Demi Allah, tidak ada yang dapat menggantikan Khadijah. Dialah yang memberikan kepadaku kebahagiaan ketika orang menghinaku. Dialah yang menghiburku dalam penderitaan ketika semua orang membenciku. Dialah yang memberikan seluruh hartanya kepadaku ketika semua orang menahan pemberiannya. Dan dialah yang menganugerahkan kepadaku anak ketika isteri-isteri yang lain tidak memberikannya. ” Mendengar itu Aisyah tidak dapat memberikan jawaban. Hadis ini diriwayatkan dalam Shahih Bukhari dan Muslim.

I dunno bout you guys, but i felt sad the first time i read it. It shows a more human side of him. The sadness of losing a loved one. Despite him being the greatest human being ever created and ever WILL be created, we sometimes forget the most fundamental thing about him; he is still only human.

I think in a way this allows us to try and be more like him. To try and follow in his footsteps, because it reminds us that we can try to be more like him, although maybe not to the level he is, of course.

Another thing I felt was how deep his love was for his wife. The wordings in the article may not be exactly what he said, after all, I only Googled, not exactly the most trustworthy research tool, but look at how carefully constructed the sentences are. He remembers and states why he loves her so.

See, people often assume that the opposite of love is hate. But I think the correct opposite would be indifference (lack of interest, concern or sympathy). This requires some explanation.

Let's say you're in love with someone. He or she then does something that breaks your heart, so because of that you hate that person. But where does that hate come from? Aha. Being betrayed by the one you love. So basically you hate that you love him/her so much. Its kinda like that song with ne-yo and rihanna, hate that i love you.

Whereas indifference means you don't really give a crap what that person does. THAT means you don't have any feelings whatsoever towards that person. Which I think is the proper opposite.

I hope people understand when they read this, coz if not, that was a waste of my 5 minutes. lol.

Anyways, the point I was trying to stress on doesn't have anything to do with hate, it was that he remembers her very clearly, he misses her for very detailed reasons. I'd like to think that when you love someone and you cherish her, you remember even the tiniest details about her, what you like about her.

I think love stories and movies always incorporate this into the storyline. "I love the way your hair smells in the morning, I love the way you smile when you look at me, almost like there isn't enough space on your face.." Lol. Yea, that sort of stuff.

So in my opinion he was an affectionate person, a romantic. Key point here is "with his wife". Some people just spout out these words without a moment of hesitation, sometimes even without feeling, just to get what they want, or in some cases, the girl they want. he he. and of course most girls fall head over heels with these very fancy, lovely words.

Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to mean what I say, and lets face it, if you've only known this girl for like 2 weeks, no way in hell will you "climb the highest mountains and swim an ocean of fire" for her. LOL. I seriously doubt it. But perhaps, later in the relationship, maybe when things are more serious, or maybe when you're married, you say these sort of things and it won't sound so far-fetched.

But then again I'm old-fashioned, what do I know. Being single, not exactly the expert, am I? lol. A close female friend of mine even started calling me her "GBF" nowadays. GBF stands for "Gay Best Friend". wtf. zzz. haha. (though i may have introduced the word to her. me and my big mouth.)

Anyways, thats all I wanted to say. I think there are plenty of opportunities to learn and improve ourselves, even in the most unexpected ways, especially so if we have the best human being in the world as our role model. And what better time to do so than in the month of Ramadhan.

I leave you all with the only song in my playlist at the moment (for quite some time now.) I have this habit of listening to the same song over and over again until i'm bored with it. Mostly cause I'm lazy to actually list down the songs I like, but partly because its a nice song, and a nice song should remain nice to your senses even after repeated listens. Don't you agree?



Take care. Peace.

:)

3 in a row.

first one was one with a HR company.

they interview on behalf of another company.

overall performance : quite good. received positive response.

lessons learnt

• always show off your communications skill, big plus.
• always read up and show effort and interest. also a plus, and in some cases, VITAL.
• fresh grads can't really ask for much
  

second one was with a chemical engineering consultant company.

overall performance : bad. very bad.

lessons learnt

• older more experienced people have very high expectations. everest high sometimes.
• when interviewing for technical position, be damn sure you have appropriate technical knowledge!
• everything happens for a reason, so if things don't go your way, learn from mistakes and accept that its for the best.
• never bulls**t bout stuff unless you're POSITIVE interviewer doesn't know. epic rofl.
• einstein's theory of relativity is true, 5 minutes does feel like an hour under right conditions
• people sometimes blame you for the stupidest of things. smart people are sometimes jerks.
  

third one was with tyre company.

overall performance : okay. :)

lessons learnt

• Jobstreet sometimes sends you alerts for jobs that require years of experience when you're a fresh graduate. -_-""
• even so, don't give up and try anyway. The Big Guy up above works in very mysterious ways.
• asking questions about job shows interest.
• making stuff up as you go is okay if it makes sense.

unrelated note to interviews

• meeting up with friends is always fun.
• going out from 8 am to 11 pm on ramadhan may not be good for your well-being.
• being friendly sometimes leads to unexpected discoveries.
• Masjid besi in Putrajaya is so big you could probably play football inside.
  
• chemical engineers in malaysia are probably separated by only 3 degree separation. (i.e : friend of a friend of a friend = all the chemical engineers in malaysia)
  
• RM 50 worth of petrol is roughly half a tank for a Persona.
• There is no such thing as a "pressure pump." epic fail.
• There is a fine line between fun sarcasm and mean sarcasm.
• Huge karipap at Murni is called "Roti Dragon", not roti dinosaur or roti monster. lol.

• Honey dew is definitely the best drink there.
• Some people have auras that cause other people to self-bahan. epic rofl.
• Setiap orang ada rezeki tersendiri.
• OU cinema seats are really comfortable. caution : may induce involuntary sleeping.
• Repoman is a nice movie. :)
• green = go, yellow = go faster, red = go really2 fast in KL.
• Girls instantaneously generate limitless amount of energy when the words "sale" or "discount" are plastered on clothing shop windows, EVEN when complaining of tiredness mere seconds earlier.
• dictionary, thesaurus and "dinosaurus" are types of books. super epic LOL.
• making fun of other people is fun, but you have to accept being made fun of also. (refer to kelab menembak rule no 1)
• using point forms makes for shorter posts and message still gets across.

and the last one

• shopping for interview clothes is tough, so when in doubt, send an MMS to mak. epic rofl.
  

fyi, pic was taken way before i went to interview, so no i did not went to the interview looking like a hippie.

till next time.

peace. :)

welcome to my world.

again, very short post.

just wanted to let you guys in on what i was doing last week.



i just love the life-like animations that blizzard makes. i've loved it ever since i was a boy, even now as a slightly older boy, i still love it.

...

sometimes you just have to let the inner geekazoid loose.

peace.

breaking the silence

hello.

happy ramadhan everyone.

do your best to be the best, especially so in this month.

a good motivational video i think.



peace.

p/s : peace is salam in english.

things i'll never say 2

its funny how some people are so similar in so many ways, yet have very different lives.

my friend A (from here) is back in UTP now, coz he's doing some research for his supervisor. i kinda went back to UTP last week coz i wanted to get my final transcript. for job hunting purposes. which i have failed to hunt down... for two months now...

but thats besides the point.

seeing as how UTP is in the middle of nowhere, and he really doesn't have anyone else to hang out with, i stayed there a bit longer. not like i'm doing anything anyways.

so we chatted and reminisced about the good ol' times we had here, updated ourselves with job status of other friends, and of course, relationship status.

some got engaged, some couples broke up ,some are working, and some have just simply disappeared from the face of the earth. usual stuff.

which is when he suddenly remembered about B, the girl we talked about in class. he tells me that this girl broke up with the new bf not long after that, and funny thing, wanted to get back with that guy shortly after the break up. -_-"

pfft. crazy girl.

we are so similar, him and me. yet we have very different lives.

so i asked him, any new stories, him always being the guy with the interesting story to tell and all.

he smiled a smile that would've made the joker proud. lol.

he then went on to talk about another girl, lets call her C then, since A and B have been taken up. from what i understand, C is this long-time close friend of his, they go out every once in a while, chat every now and then, quite close i would say.

so when C wanted to go out this one time, he thought nothing of it. it was a typical outing. always nice to meet up with a friend.

".. but at the end of it, when we were saying our goodbyes, i sensed something... different. i kinda got the vibe that she was like into me or something", said A with his serious face on.

"pfft, blah la ko, bajet la...", was what i said, while acting like i wanted to leave the table. lol.

"lah, betul la, ko xpernah rasa macam tu ke." A said with a slightly angered look on now.

i can't honestly say that i haven't, so i said "fine2, what happened next".

he kept quiet and looked for signs. obviously he wasn't gonna go confront the girl based on some gut feeling he had. and yes, there were signs. again he ignored them, thinking he could've misinterpreted them. i mean, who knows what girls have in their brains. lol.

but that was before the girl confronted him. epic.

if anything, A is one hell of a story teller, i think. building up suspense like that. i was literally and figuratively on the edge of my seat. lol.

but i digress.

moving on, C confirmed what A was afraid of, for some reason she fell for him. she says its probably a phase.

but it got a wee bit too uncomfortable for A. not that he didn't like her, just not in that way. they've been friends for so long, and suddenly this, felt weird he said.

he thinks its probably because they talk all the time. so he thought it would be a good idea for them to take a break. not talk to each other for a bit. she didn't want to "take a break", but agreed to do so anyways.

in the so-called break that they were having, she emailed him once saying sorry she made him feel uncomfortable, and told him to "take your time".

and so he did.

it was only later did A find out that their definition of "time" are two completely different things. he was thinking maybe days, if not weeks.

for her it was probably hours, if not minutes.

roughly one week after the confrontation, A says he got a few texts from C. desperate-sounding texts. "VERY desperate-sounding", he said, over-emphasising the word VERY.

(fyi, i read the texts. VERY.)

it was just one week, and this girl seemed desperate to "get back together". obviously not the reaction he was looking for. definitely not ready to end the break. so he blew her off.

another thing i know about A is that altho he's a nice guy in a general, if he is pissed or annoyed, no more mr nice guy. so he might have been a bit harsh on the girl.

of course he didn't tell me what he said, but i kinda guessed, us practically living together for 4 years.

in the end i think she got tired and gave up. not just gave up "getting back together", gave up on their friendship altogether.

".. the friendship we had just isn't worth it anymore. so just forget whatever. so long."

clearly A didn't want things with C to end that way. he had the best of intentions, taking a break to preserve the friendship, trying to not make it awkward. for him mostly, because she didn't seem to have any problems with it.

but, as we know, things don't always turn out the way you want it to.

"ah, no matter," said A, finishing up his story, "she was kinda annoying me anyways, pestering me all the time. don't think it would've worked out either way".

again, its so funny how some people are so similar in so many ways, yet lead very different lives. personally, i think i would've done the exact same thing he did, but so far my life is just about as exciting as watching fungi grow on a dead tree stump.

i asked A what if another week she texts him again, asking to put things in the past or what, and he said, "i think i'll just forward back her own text to her, i'm sure its self-explanatory, after all she wrote it".

bloody sarcastic bugger, this guy. lol.

i guess in the end, no matter who we are, what we do, what we're like, we make do with what we have, and try to make it work.

or not.

have it your way. :)

peace.

the day

today would have been the day.

but its not anymore.

i'd like to think i made the right, the best choice.

my brother came back home for his holidays, so i'm not entirely bored.

i went jogging today, which is a miracle on its own.

however, an even bigger miracle is that i did not die jogging.

i really do have low / bad stamina. at the end of the jog, i'd be thinking "will i make it home? will i die? why in the hells did i do this?"

but i have never actually died from jogging. or passed out. thank God.

but i did vomit a couple of times. lol.

i always thought that i'm skinny enough as it is, why should i go for a jog?

but i think it has more to do with your health, rather than with what you look like.

sure, byproducts of jogging include looking good physically, but its main purpose is to exercise your heart etc.

anyways, i shall try to go and jog again tomorrow. wish me luck.

sometimes i feel that my quality of writing has gone down. maybe i'm too reader-oriented now.

but that would make no sense. being reader-oriented should theoretically improve my writing quality.

it probably has nothing to do with that, probably has more to do with me having no material to write about.

oh, i had two Inception-like dreams recently. for some reason.

(to whomever it is, if you haven't watched it yet, you should! arguably best movie of the year, avatar can suck it. lol)

in one dream, i realized that it was a dream and the dream started to slant a little bit, kinda like that seen where everything is slanted.

in the more recent dream, it was a dream inside a dream. i won't bore you with the details.

sure i liked the movie, but i didn't think my subconcious would like it THAT much.

the last time I was this into something was when I was into the anime series Claymore.

I was hanging my clothes to dry (in the middle of the night, wth rite, but im nocturnal, so bear with me), when I could've sworn I heard Claire's voice. fyi, claire is the protagonist of the cartoon (not sure how you spell heroine.)

yea most people would've been scared hearing a girl's voice in the middle of the night, but i was kinda excited and started looking everywhere.

but no, i did not find the girl.

if i did, you'd probably be reading this blog to read up on my demon-killing adventures with Claire, the super hot ridiculously exposed vampire killing babe.

anyways, tomorrow i am going to watch Despicable Me 3D (again) with my brother. no, he hasn't watched it yet, so i'm escorting him.

wouldn't it be cool to be a super villain? you could do whatever the hell you wanted, you'd be super rich, you don't have to care about what people think, etc2.

but at the end of days, you'd probably end up in hell, so, big disadvantage there.

oh well, life is full of choices. and each choice has its own pros and cons.

up to us to choose the best.

and if its not the best, learn from it, and learn to live with it.

last but not least, today is nisfu syaaban, the day where our "records" of good and bad are taken up and a new "record book" is opened.

as they say in malay, kosong-kosong la eh.

and all the best filling up the new book.

take care. peace.

funny words.

its funny how words can affect us.

or sometimes even the lack of words.

like that smile from a complete stranger i got on the train the other day.

no, it wasn't from a pretty girl or anything, just a smile from another guy that i helped find a seat.

i must admit, i'm not the nicest of people.

there are some things i said that i regret till today.

terlajak perahu boleh berundur, terlajak kata something something, as the saying goes.

and i guess there are some things i regret not saying. or regret not being able to say.

like how much i love my parents, my family in general.

its funny sometimes how the things you want to say the most, are the hardest to say.

i'm sorry.

i love you.

i took 10 ringgit from your wallet while you were sleeping. lol

words are powerful tools. they can get a dying patient in an upbeat mood, and they can crush a vicious conquering army's will to fight.

yet with all that power, it has a thing for disappearing when you need it the most.

like... now...

....

i think its important that you say what you mean, and mean what you say.

and try not to say something mean.

get what i mean?

but i guess there are times when you have to say things you don't really mean, i.e lie.

and sometimes we lie for the best of reasons. white lies.

but its funny how hard it is for us to lie convincingly, even for the noblest of causes.

i mean, really, how hard is it.

I was born on Mars five minutes ago, after which I descended from the heavens by a golden escalator down to earth.

to write a blog post.

yea im guessing its easier to write and lie, rather than to speak and lie.

ah what am i saying. im at a loss of words right now.

funny how we need them so much.

guess we should be grateful.

peace.

p/s : some words are just funny though. periculum. haha.

Yeay!

Officially a graduate!

Yeay!

Shortest post ever.

peace.

plans part 2.

didn't work out. what i planned didn't work out.

i'd be lying if i said i didn't care, i tried so many times to make it work but it just doesn't seem to happen.

pretty bummed out. sigh.

there's always something in the way.

most of the time, that something in the way is something quite significant.

its important to have the right priorities in life.

oh well. if its meant to be, i think it would happen even without any effort whatsoever.

so i guess i'll just stop trying so hard. and be my usual self, and not try at all.

haha.

Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just... do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.

guess who said that quote.

peace.

p/s: congrats to khai b for making her posts comment-able again. :)

Plans.

the only thing predictable in life, is that it is unpredictable.

regardless of how many times that octopus got it right, its still unpredictable.

sometimes when we expect something to happen, it doesn't.

so when it doesn't, we plan for something else.

and when we have already planned for something else, when you least expect it, it happens.

so now you're stuck between the two.

we'll just wait and see until it is really confirmed.

its just so frustrating sometimes. when things don't go according to plan.

but thats life, i think. we may have our plans, but in the end, its all His plan.

when i was small, i wanted to be a pilot, for some reason i'm not really sure. and then one day my father said to me "i'm sure you'll change your mind someday.".

and he was right. as always. its annoying how older people are always right sometimes. but they've earned their right i guess. haha.

at some point in my school life, i wanted to be a scientist. due to the influence of dexter's laboratory. i even have my own secret lab, in which i stored all my dragon ball comic books.

okay it was probably more of a library than a laboratory, but who cares right.

but despite all that, in those forms where you have to write down your amibition, i still wrote down pilot.

i really don't know what got that pilot idea in my head.

maybe it was coz of the fact that when i was a little boy, my family stayed very near to the airport. and whenever i couldn't sleep at night, my parents would take me in our family's old mazda car to this spot where we could see all the airplanes take off and land.

i remember i used to like that very much. maybe that was it.

anyways, when i was in secondary school, i kinda lost interest in being a pilot, for some reason. i guess i was just like any teen, simply drifting through their years, with no specific target in mind.

so when my mother started pestering me on what to do after i finished schools, that was when i started to think. and plan.

i was pretty sure by this point that i didn't want to do medicine. mostly because i knew i couldn't be a hardworking enough person to study the names of all the diseases and bones and tendons and chemicals and bla3..

i knew i liked physics. not exactly because of physics itself, but mostly because for physics, you only have to understand the concepts and remember the formulas, and you're good to go. haha.

at first i used to hate my chemistry teacher at school, cause he was pretty mean to me the first few weeks i met him. but in the end i really liked him (in a very manly way) and i really liked the subject.

so long story short, physics + chemistry = chemical engineering. that was the plan. that STILL is the plan.

to say that being a pilot wasn't realistic would be wrong. an old friend of mine is a pilot nowadays.

sometimes things go the way you planned it. some times it doesn't.

i didn't plan to meet so many wonderful people in my life.

i didn't plan to meet so many unlikeable characters in my life.

i didn't know if i was going to be able to get this far, yet at the same time i didn't know for some things this was as far as i could go.

but stuff happened anyways.

He had it all planned out.

The only thing to do now is to sit and wait, and watch His plan unfold.

That's the plan, anyways.

peace.

something is wrong.

so weird, can't comment on my own blog.

and, thought it through more carefully, i'm not going through with it.

pfft.

i'm just not adventurous enough.

all talk, which makes me very philosophical i guess.

plus, i didn't know sagittarians were philosophical too.

or maybe im just crazy. bosan sampai giler.. haha nice one.

Ramblings of a madman

Whatever you do in life is insignificant, but it's very important that you do it.

We hate to admit it, try as we might to deny it, its true.

Whatever you do, no matter how monumental it is, with time, it will be forgotten.

Or even if it isn't, eventually you will leave this earth, and so what you do won't really matter.

Well, not to you anyways.

However, the key thing here is to do it anyways.

For example, in a million years from now it would not matter if i used proper grammar, but it is important that i use it anyways.

Important to me, important to you, and important to who knows who else.

For even the most insignificant of things, plays an important part in life.

Like how the smallest of viruses can cause an entire country to start wearing face masks.

I'd like to think that everything happens for a reason.

As Einstein once said, "I, at any rate, am convinced that He does not throw dice".

Or in other words, God does not create things, or make things happen, randomly. There is always a purpose, a reason for everything.

Imagine what would happen if clouds form on the ground instead of up in the air.

You'd have clouds on the ground, and there would be a huge risk of getting electrocuted due to lightning every where you walk.

There's probably a reason why you woke up late today. Maybe its so that you won't wake up late tomorrow.

Imagine what would happen to the world if Sir Isaac Newton didn't rest under an apple tree, but under a durian tree.

He'd probably still discover gravity, only he wouldn't be alive to tell the tale.

There are so many things happening in this world, we couldn't possibly imagine why anything happens anyways.

We just assume things happen. and we get on with our lives.

Some lives move faster, and some slower.

I just found out recently a classmate from school just gave birth to her first child.

I on the other hand am still negotiating with my mother on whether it really is necessary for me to iron my clothes since its not really required for me to be neat to stay at home and eat and sleep.

Different lives move at different paces, and different people are faced with different responsibilities.

Some are huge, some are considerably smaller.

With these responsibilities, we forget that we lose something in the process, freedom.

At least some of it.

As a child we are not responsible for anything, thus have the freedom to do almost anything, as long as the parents don't mind.

As a parent however, we are bound by responsibility, and are not as free to do whatever we wish to.

I'm guessing the same can be applied to relationships.

We are bound to the other person, which does not allow us to go out with anyone we like, for reasons that are unclear.

Or in other words, I can't go out with a friend anymore. LOL.

As if I wasn't bored enough before.

Ah, such is the way of life.

Sometimes, life is like a vacuum cleaner.

It sucks.

But we make do with what we have.

Nothing in life worth having comes easy.

Come Wednesday, I'll go to the movies alone.

peace.

61?

this post has a point.

like, really.

the point of this post is to get rid of the chowder video that keeps popping up every time i open this blog.

(yes, i read my own posts. lol.)

don't get me wrong, i like the show, at the moment it may be the be-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-st show in the world, but its just noisy sometimes.

and also to comment on a friend's very recent blog post.

since khairul barriah is so stubborn and refuses to turn back on the comments section of her blog, i shall just comment here and hopes that she finds it in her busy schedule to read it.

congrats on the new job / training! very businesswoman-like.

now that the post has served its purpose, i shall continue on with my usual pointless rambling.

bla bla bla bla bla.

i really do have something to write about, but i tried yesterday, it just doesn't come out right.

to put it simple, in the words of shrek, "i like my privacy".

i don't like it when people i barely even know post stuff thats mine online for the whole world to see.

annoying juniors. pfft.

i don't think i was that annoying when i was a junior. or maybe i was... haha.

but in my defense, my senior was really cute.

and, oh, i wanted to borrow her books and notes and stuff... so, hahaha.

seriously considering changing the "kalau boleh kenalkan diri dulu sebelum add, tak suka add orang yang tak dikenali." on facebook to a "don't add me, i'll add you."

lol. i changed it. never knew i was so poetic. haha.

peace.

p/s: a pointless point is still considered a point!

60

apparently this is my 60th post.

I have blogged quite a lot this year.

this will also be my 20th post this year.

I don't really know the point of telling all this.

Life, as usual when the holidays (permanent?) are here, is boring.

There's not much I can really do.

Well, there are plenty of stuff that I actually can do, but none that i would prefer doing alone.

I guess I'm not that type of person that enjoys solitude very much.

I mean, some people go travelling or go watch a movie all by themselves and have a great time.

Not me. Where's the fun if you can't share it with someone?

But to be fair, watching movies can still be enjoyable if you do it alone.

I mean, its not like I talk that much while watching the movie anyways.

Only if my friend is chit-chatty will I be as well. I try not to annoy other people though. Unless the movie bores me. lol.

I guess thats why I like RPGs so much. Although I'm all alone in front of the computer, I'm surrounded by people inside the game.

But i stopped, cause it was too much fun. And you tend to forget the things you should focus on when you're having too much fun.

But its just sad sometimes. You're with your friends, and you see someone bowling all alone for example. Or you're eating out with your friends and you see this one fella eating at a dark corner pretending not to care.

I think I've grown a lot in the sense that, probably ten years ago i wouldn't have cared if i was all alone, as long as i have my computer games, nothing can go wrong.

Only in secondary school was it clearer to me that its more fun going out and socializing.

what a geekazoid. haha.

in case anyone's wondering, i haven't really truly started searching for a job. haha.

my aunt raised an interesting point the other day when she asked where i plan to work. before that i mentioned that the friend i went to singapore with to go for the job interview, took the job there and is now staying in singapore (for the most part).

so she asked me, where would i be working? the reason behind the question is that since i have only one younger brother and no other siblings, it would probably be a bit hard for my mother to let me go work at faraway places.

i did not think of that before.

to be honest i kinda hoped i would get faraway jobs, so that i can travel and see the world, so to speak.

i guess some things other than what I want must be taken into consideration as well.

on a lighter note, i think that my mother is a bit old-fashioned when it comes to interview attire.

she insists i wear a plain white shirt to interviews.

i seem to recall some friends going for interviews with very colourful formal attire, and some did get the job.

haha.

did i mention i look like an idiot when wearing formal attire? haha.

its probably due to my body portions. i have long legs, which makes my upper body look short, which in turn makes me look like an old guy with pulled his pants up too high.

yeap, kinda like this guy.

enough for now.

peace.

Catch phrase.

Importance of catch phrases.

By Chowder, my latest favorite cartoon.



going to find more now.

Wazzam!

haha. peace.

no point.

i have attempted many record-breaking in the past.

(yes i am bored, so bear with me.)

i once attempted to grow the longest dust-bunnies in the world. (fyi, dust bunnies = sawang, i think)

these things were growing from the light above my study table in utp, so i thought i'd let them grow as long as possible.

but then as i was gulping down on some canned drinks, something got stuck in my throat.

*cough cough.

some of the dust bunnies fell into my drink. pfft.

after washing off all the dust bunnies in my room, (including my roommate's unintended record breaking attempt, haha.), i realized the foolishness of the idea.

but as i continued gulping down on the contaminated drink, i thought of another thing to do.

world's tallest aluminium can tower. muahaha.

i'm sure i can break the world record easy.

and so i constructed the tower. being someone in the engineering field, i considered how unstable a single tower would be, therefore i decided to construct a twin-tower.

4 years of engineering study put to good use. muahaha.

ah, such a beautiful monument, much like the petronas twin towers themselves, but this looks a bit wobbly..

*PRANGGG!!!

okay, aluminium cans, not so stable when next to a ceiling fan.

or next to a clumsy giant.

long story short, i decided not to build the world's tallest aluminium can twin tower, but instead, the world's longest aluminium can wall.

and here is the result of this attempt.


hohoho. not bad eh?

may not be the longest one in the world, but definitely the longest in UTP.

i'm so proud of my achievement. hahahaha.

i warned you there might be more of those pointless posts.

here is a beautiful view from my room.

beautiful isn't it. i think so anyways.

sometimes we don't appreciate the things that we have.

and we appreciate too much the things we don't have.

which makes us always wanting more, and never being content.

i googled content to see if i got the spelling right, and i found this picture.

Contentment is the experience of satisfaction and being at ease in one's situation.

much like the fella in the picture i think.

speaking about contentment, here is a creature i think that is content with its current situation.

the galapagos tortoise. largest tortoise in the world, up to 300kg in weight.

"move away before i eat you", says this one.

"you smell nice", says this one.

i'll let you guys decide what this one says.

wouldn't it be cool if i could keep one of these guys as a pet. haha.

they live up to a 150 years by the way, so whatever happens you'll still have your pet galapagos tortoise. haha. :)

we have so much information at our fingertips these days, yet we don't really take advantage of it.

i can find out about anything or anyone or anywhere in the world anytime with just a click of a button.

hmm.

oh well.

peace.

Pointless.

i think people need goals in their life.

or at least, need something to do with their life.

i do.

its been almost a day and a half at home, and already i am bored.

i have no games to keep me occupied, no friend that is free to ask out, no work to keep me busy.

i have nothing to do.

done.

now what?

i had hoped to watch some world cup matches at home, only to realize that we don't subscribe to the sports package.

fantastic.

not that im that into football anyways. still, its the world cup.

i don't have a friend to actually ask to come with to the mamak stalls, coz the one friend i usually go out with, his mother does not like him going out at night. LOL.

no offense to him. just that he's been staying at home almost all his life, so i'm guessing his mother is a wee bit protective.

so there are only two solutions to my problem, find a job fast, or find something to keep me occupied.

as i've mentioned before, not that easy finding a job you like.

but what to do to keep me occupied? MMORPGs?

a friend did mention playing this game, but i kinda forgot to get the installer from him.

sigh.

i am reading this book i just bought, but i think its not the type of book that i would spend hours reading just to finish.

which makes it a very good investment.

see, if i like the book so much, i will read and read and read summore. and finish the book in less than a week. see this is not such a bad thing.

if the book wasn't RM 70.

it is said that a man will pay RM2 for a RM1 item that he needs. so true.

a woman on the other hand, will pay RM1 for a RM2 item she doesn't need but is on sale.

i'll let you guys decide on that one. haha.

i want to go watch movies. the new karate kid movie looks fun. anyone wants to go with me? haha.

since i am somewhat bored, you can expect more posts like these in the future.

posts that don't really have a point. haha.

actually, i did have a point, but i think i'll save it for another day.

i get bored very easily. which is why if you are trying to concentrate in class, you shouldn't be beside me.

because i will come up with all sorts of ideas, things to do, stuff to talk about, to avoid being bored.

i played truth once with some friends while in class. i laughed so hard my jaws hurt.

luckily we weren't told to get out of the class.

we weren't so lucky in another class.

"if you're not interested, either keep quiet or get out of the classroom" is what the lecturer said.

to be fair, the lecture was VERY VERY boring. we were the only ones that bothered to stay awake by chatting. plus it was a bit hard to understand him with his accent.

"if yur not inderezted, eiza keep quiet or get out of zee classrum" is what it sounded like.

kinda like a german-french accent. zat legcheror iz from egypt, i sink.

ok now bored of blogging. must do something else.

peace.

fin.

uu, look how pretty the blog is now. haha.

now i feel more motivated to blog more often.... or not.

haha.

the presentations are done.
hardbound reports are submitted.
bowling balls were thrown.
movies were watched.
fast food burgers were consumed.
friends were made fun of.
own self was laughed at a few times.
apologies were made.
debts are paid.
hugs were exchanged.
farewells were said.

at long last, the four years has ended.

like, really ended. not "one week break to go to singapore and then prepare for presentation one day before" ended, like no more presentations.

i did okay btw, peeked at my score sheet after the presentation. hahaha.

all thats left is to do my clearance, get out of the uni, and later on come back for convocation.

(i'm all alone here btw, so now you may understand why suddenly the blog looks different.)

and of course, find a job.

or go for masters.

or a very rich girlfriend that doesn't mind having the boyfriend just stay at home and not work.

if only rich girlfriends grow on trees.

i don't think its that hard to get a job.

whats tricky is getting a job you actually want.

you have to go to interviews, answer IQ tests, behavior tests...

and more interviews, and more interviews.

which is well, boring. these companies think they're so above other people, that they have to screen everyone through these ridiculous tests. pfft.

anyways, not really in the mood to blog, just thought i'd have a new post to signify the new design.

coz when you think about it, its kinda hard to imagine that the people we hang on to for 4 years, is no longer going to be there.

well, they'll still be there, but not there there.

you know what i mean right.

life will sort itself out eventually.

for the time being, i'll just follow the flow.

i really was joking about the rich girlfriend thing.

i can't really see myself with a girlfriend at the moment, let alone with a wife.

no, i am not gay so please stop asking. lol.

but some people that i know, are like, so ready, to be in that phase of life, its astounding to me.

they have already thought up of everything, planned everything, and are currently working towards that goal.

to me, that is like, wow.

i don't think i've enjoyed life enough to let myself be stuck in that situation.

because i think that girls especially when they think of marriage, they think of how romantic it is, how it is like the ultimate commitment from the guy, how it is like a symbol of everlasting love and all that crap stuff...

but to me i think it is more towards responsibility. commitment. obligation.

your actions are limited afterwards, you can't go out with other girl friends for fear of jealousy, you are obliged to contact this particular person every day as a show of affection, plus there would be situations like this happening.



fyi, first ever video posted on the blog.

im just a bit bummed all my friends have left. thats all. haha.

not really in the mood to blog more right now, so i'll stop here.

peace.

sad day for the hair.

yeay new template. haha.

i wanted to stay with the old one, mostly because that way the picture of the monster stays in the center (coz this new one is a bit to the left), but its very sad looking.

shouldn't be sad.

so the new one looks a bit happier. i tried editing a bit, but not really that rajin to go and find and make my profile so pretty like the other blogs, so ill just leave it like this then.

for now.

plus this new one matches the monster's color.

haha.

erm i shall be going back to utp tomorrow, and i will be getting a haircut probably on the next day. sad day for the hair.

and me as well.

never did like having short hair, i feel like it makes me look like an idiot. maybe i'll find a pic and post here.

ah found one on friendster.


see.

told ya i look like an idiot.

i wonder if i can find a job that doesn't require me to have short hair....

hmm..

and maybe while i'm at it, a job that pays me extra for being late and falling asleep while working.

if only life was that fun.

anyways, it finally dawned on me that there are some of my friends that i will probably never see again in a very long time. since i am graduating and all.

to be honest i have never been the sentimental guy. for the most part.

i think i've blogged about this before so i won't anymore. but that was before i was all grown up.

now i think i've grown a bit emotionally (or not).

so i guess what i'm trying to say is..

i will miss everyone in UTP.

even the ones i'm not close with.

EVEN the ones i hate. because its the people we hate / dislike that give us reminders of what not to be like.

but i will most surely miss my close friends.

how could i have gone through 4 years of engineering without you all.

thank you all for keeping me company when i needed it, and leaving me alone when i needed the space. (although most of the time i prefer being pestered by you people.)

ok enuff mushy stuff. haha.

i didn't really have anything to write in the first place so i'll stop now before i make myself look more gay. hahah.

peace.

no longer busy

ah finally time to blog.

been busy the past couple of weeks, with studying, exams, travelling, and meeting up with friends.

the exams were, well some were ok, some were not, especially the last paper, probably because i was not really caring that much about the paper, more on what to do after i finished...

but its done, and nothing to do that can change what happened, so what the hell.

immediately after the exams, well not immediately, the day after the final exams, took a train straight to kl, then took a bus to singapore with a friend. a gay trip maybe? LOL.

went sightseeing, checked out the famous spots, ate the singapore murtabak. it is always nice to go to new places, but singapore was just so-so for me.

i don't really see why its so famous as compared to malaysia, theres not really much stuff to do apart from shopping. maybe because it has good public transport and its super clean there (compared to here) and the people are nice(r).

ok so probably that explains why its famous. plus theres that red light district. he he. (evil laugh)

but honestly, not that many pretty girls in singapore. i mean, the pretty ones are really pretty (or hot, whichever you prefer), but pales in comparison with malaysia. i can't go anyplace without spotting some cute/pretty/ hot girl. hehe.

hujan batu di negeri sendiri, hujan emas di negeri orang, lebih baik negeri sendiri.

did i use that correctly? nevermind.

so the real reason my friend went to singapore was to go for a job interview, and he got the job, so congrats to him. i just went there for sight-seeing. haha.

haven't really gone looking for a job, just feel like chilling for a bit. maybe i should be a bit more serious, seeing as how some of my friends have already gotten jobs.

so after getting back from singapore, figured i would hang around in kl for a bit, meet up with some friends.

although some were unable to show up due to miscellaneous reasons, did meet up with a few. had a good time.

barely had time to recuperate after the exhausting singapore trip.

then on wesak day, came home to good ol ipoh by hitching a ride with a cousin.

only when i was in malaysia did i found out my father was hospitalised for one night.

no one bothered to tell me.

i only found out because my nephews (cousin's sons) slipped up and told me. kids. can't really control what they say.

suspected heart attack, my other cousin went to say.

a bit pissed that no one bothered to tell me, not even my mother.

but she did have the time to text me

"pergi universal studios? kalau tiket mahal mak sponsor le."

LOL.

guess she didn't want me to worry and spoil my time there.

turns out it wasn't a heart attack, it was "acid reflux" (thank you pharmacist-to-be) =P

not too serious i guess.

moving on to lighter news, upon arrival home, went to a few kenduris at the old house. so much memories there.

plus things seem so much bigger when you're small.

i see many familiar faces while at the two kenduris, but me being me, a bit afraid to say hi, for fear of them not remembering me. happens sometimes.

theres this one girl that looks very very familiar, but i cant seem to tell who she is and why she looks so familiar. oh well.

after the kenduris, i rushed home and went to meet up with two not-so-very-familiar faces.

Amelia and Asma. =)

nice meeting both of u.

anyways, after that, got home and basically did nothing until today. hectic week, i would say.

next up, final presentation, and looking for jobs.

or maybe look for someone super rich to marry so i won't have to work, but just sit at home and play farmville or something.

and no i do not play farmville. haha. that game sucks the life out of people and turns them into digital-crop-planting zombies.

but i do play plants versus zombies. (almost the same thing if not worse)

haha.

peace.